Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9722182)

http://www.cps.gov.uk/news/articles/...es_the_future/

Domestic violence for whatever reason and in any country is terrible.

Originally Posted by k800mer (Post 9722507)

You are right of course but personally I do not think the deliberate killing of female babies just because they are female quite fits the heading of domestic violence.

Originally Posted by a_f_d (Post 9722720)

... and the Indian government does not think that caste-related violence is racist.
ohdearohdearohdearohdear

AndyD

Originally Posted by dreadsoc (Post 9722388)

Bipat - I do not get my information on honour based violence from newspapers as you suggest, but get this from proper statistics from reported incidents, and it is far more common than you would like to believe. It is prevalent in the UK, so I would imagine it is even more commonplace in countries of origin - and before you jump down my throat I am not just referring to India, although it does go on in the Indian community as it does in several other ethnic groups.
When you do find the comparator figures you have quoted on female foetal abortion please can you put the link on here.

I appreciate very much that you have the experience of living within the Indian family and love the tale above on the woman being sent out to view a boy.
However is your perspective based on what happens in your family? I ask not meaning to offend but because so much of what you state on here is actually contradicted by other Indian people I speak to.Dread - x

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9723749)

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/25s3099.html

This is not the paper that I originally refered too (unable to find it again) but the figures are similar: about 15.6 abortions /1000 in UK and 2.7 (probably thought actually to be double that though) in India.

Partly yes, because many of the posts on this Forum pick out the worst aspects of India and take them as general and only truths. I am trying to point out that just as any other country there is good and bad. Day after day there are negative and sensational posts which seem to indicate these happenings are a general day to day picture. Of course such atrocities occur, they are not uncommon they should not occur but they are not general.

May I politely ask what has been contradicted by the people you have met? Every community has different customs and traditions, difference is not contradiction. Everything and anything happens in India that does not mean it is 'general' or the 'norm'.
eg Noni's Indian men generally behave in a "primitive" way to women.

I do not exist in a small family bubble, I have hundreds of relatives and friends in all the Southern states and some family members living in Bengal. There is also family history with spoken links back 3 generations. We have neighbours and helpers from all walks of life. I have also travelled literally from South to North India (on land) (dragging the children with me) so all in all I think I may have some sort of picture of general life.
There are a billion people there Dread, you will always find the bad if you look for it. Why not look for the everday ordinary but boring lives of the most?

Originally Posted by noni (Post 9723817)

Bipat - I can only speak for what I have seen and heard in Goa from friends from Goa, Kanakata, Rajanistan etc. What we have seen on our travels, and from members of OUR family who have married Indians. I could go on telling you the problems Indian friends have come up against with their families etc.
So what am I expected to believe, family/newspaper? or somebody who will not have a word said about Indian Culture, and seems to keep every conceivable reference to anything dealing with India.

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9723927)

Noni could you please tell me how to produce that head banging symbol.
Doesn't my post above say that all bad things (and probably some you haven't heard of) go on in India? But as I have said these atrocities are not the general.
Example; The men you have met you may not like but that does not mean that "Indian men in general are primitive in their behaviour to women" . How many of the half billion have you met? It would be just as ridiculous for me to say "all are wonderful ".
As I said in my answer to Dread why always look for the bad? (in any society for that matter). Why go for every conceivable bad reference you find?
I think I dispair in hoping for much interest on this forum on the good and interesting about India, the history, science, philosophy, literature, music and yes films (even that I think you were generalist about, a bit like describing all of Hollywood films as trash because you saw 'Kung Fu Panda'. I think I should give up :wub:

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9723927)

Noni could you please tell me how to produce that head banging symbol.
Doesn't my post above say that all bad things (and probably some you haven't heard of) go on in India? But as I have said these atrocities are not the general.
Example; The men you have met you may not like but that does not mean that "Indian men in general are primitive in their behaviour to women" . How many of the half billion have you met? It would be just as ridiculous for me to say "all are wonderful ".

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9723927)

As I said in my answer to Dread why always look for the bad? (in any society for that matter). Why go for every conceivable bad reference you find?
I think I dispair in hoping for much interest on this forum on the good and interesting about India, the history, science, philosophy, literature, music and yes films (even that I think you were generalist about, a bit like describing all of Hollywood films as trash because you saw 'Kung Fu Panda'. I think I should give up :wub:

Originally Posted by goanstay (Post 9724491)

And as Noni says, how many of the half a billion have you met.
We comment on what we see and experience. Whilst I am not saying, and have never said, that ALL Indian men are leering and lecherous, but I'm not going to actually insert that in every reply.

Many of the domestic tourists in Goa come here for the cheap beer and to ogle and stare at women in bikinis. They are most open about it and I have seen numerous examples of men standing over prone women, staring open mouthed, taking photographs with their mobiles etc.etc. I have seen men staring at my wife, whilst playing with himself until I went behind and poured a bottle of water over him:rofl:.

She has been molested on a number of occasions by out of state people, when on her own . She has frequently been asked outright "Do you want have a little sex with me" when walking along the streets even when she was with me. Most of these men ended up with a bloody nose

There was one occasion, in Gujarat it must be said, where someone came behind and sexually molested her until she swung round and kicked him in the goolies. No I'm not saying that is general behaviour but it happens.

In a forum like this you can probably see why we (and many restaurant owners) do not like domestic tourists. Personally I try to avoid the beaches on a weekend and during public holidays. I am here 8 months of the year so missing a day or so to avoid having to go through the harassment is of no consequence. It is the people who come here for two weeks that I feel sorry for.



I think you are mistaken and seem to have a chip on your shoulder, and almost undertake reverse racism. Why do you take any criticism of India or indians as being us criticising the whole of India and indian people?????

This is a British Expats forum. Most of on here love India and it's culture - after all that's why we are here. We love the friendliness of the Goan (and Indian) people and that in general it is a safe place to be. I integrate well within the local community and could not imagine a nicer place to be, BUT I will stand up and criticise attitudes and behaviours (even within that community) as I cannot bury my head in the sand (I find it difficult to breathe):p. If I see practices which are abhorrent or distasteful I will speak out, and using this forum is a good way to ensure other brits are aware as well.

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9723749)

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/25s3099.html

This is not the paper that I originally refered too (unable to find it again) but the figures are similar: about 15.6 abortions /1000 in UK and 2.7 (probably thought actually to be double that though) in India.

Partly yes, because many of the posts on this Forum pick out the worst aspects of India and take them as general and only truths. I am trying to point out that just as any other country there is good and bad. Day after day there are negative and sensational posts which seem to indicate these happenings are a general day to day picture. Of course such atrocities occur, they are not uncommon they should not occur but they are not general.

May I politely ask what has been contradicted by the people you have met? Every community has different customs and traditions, difference is not contradiction. Everything and anything happens in India that does not mean it is 'general' or the 'norm'.
eg Noni's Indian men generally behave in a "primitive" way to women.

I do not exist in a small family bubble, I have hundreds of relatives and friends in all the Southern states and some family members living in Bengal. There is also family history with spoken links back 3 generations. We have neighbours and helpers from all walks of life. I have also travelled literally from South to North India (on land) (dragging the children with me) so all in all I think I may have some sort of picture of general life.
There are a billion people there Dread, you will always find the bad if you look for it. Why not look for the everday ordinary but boring lives of the most?

Originally Posted by dreadsoc (Post 9724565)

Bipat

Why feel the need to be so ever patronising ?
HOW MANY OF THE BILLION HAVE YOU MET? Probably no more than I have met!
Of course there is good and bad in every country - and some of the things you whinge about being put on this forum are the norm in India.
Sorry Bipat, but you are not the absolute authority on all things India and I really think you should open your eyes and look at what you do not want to see.
India has some wonderful things, but it also delivers some appalling things - it is not Utopia.

Dread - x

Originally Posted by Bipat (Post 9724579)

Dread as I said above to goanstay do you actually read my posts, have I ever said that India is Utopia and that appalling things do not happen? What do you actually mean by "norm"?, yes such things go on all the time if that is what you mean but the majority of the people are not involved.
I asked you to kindly tell me in what respect the 100s of Indian people you have met contradict my posts. Could you perhaps do that.