Chihuahua!

Ahhh, bless

I once had a mate called Kporte,
who thought i was awfully short,
one night in the malls,i kicked him in the balls,
and now im awaiting his retort.

Wee Bern came to see me in hossy,
Spent the time trying to get in my cossy,
When he learnt there's no hope,
He tried dropping the soap,
Gave up, then splashed out on a prossy.

There is a fit bloke called Bernie
but I don't think he comes from Killarney
sod it who gives a shite
whether he's yella green or white
as long as he isnae English

One day Midget bernie had a feeling,
to be high in the air would be appealing,
so he planned a routine,
on his new trampoline,
and now he is stuck up ma arse, stange feeling!

Me mate Keith was in the wimmins,
bawling whinging an screaming,
the nurses told him to stop all him whinning,
for some bird that he was pining,
and go out and get himself steaming

while he was up there he gave me a tickle
by gawd it was a helluva pickle
i bent offfver and sqqqqueezed
oot ma arse he did heave
and polly sat there and giggled

There was an old boy named our Bernie
Who had British Expats by the curlies
He rowed with the rest
Then flounced off with his best
Yet came back as he missed his dear girlies

Em x

Out his arse i did heave,
but it was not much of a squeeze,
for his arse is like a gay love funnel,
as big as the channel tunnel.