Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Nov 24th 2010, 10:07 am
#76
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Norfolk UK
Posts: 447
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Vagabond, I totally understand...
When I'm on my way home I'm always so excited, so pumped up and silly like a child, I drive my wife crazy.
When I know I'm close to home I have my eyes to the window looking for any site of land, finally I see the rolling hills, fields and homes below, usually its dark, I see the amber street lights above Birmingham or Manchester, the cars look tiny from above, they look awesome, sometimes its raining but what do I care, its english rain, I get so excited I could almost cry, I LOVE The Old Country, I just feel so normal, if only the British that live there could feel this way.
One of these days...
When I'm on my way home I'm always so excited, so pumped up and silly like a child, I drive my wife crazy.
When I know I'm close to home I have my eyes to the window looking for any site of land, finally I see the rolling hills, fields and homes below, usually its dark, I see the amber street lights above Birmingham or Manchester, the cars look tiny from above, they look awesome, sometimes its raining but what do I care, its english rain, I get so excited I could almost cry, I LOVE The Old Country, I just feel so normal, if only the British that live there could feel this way.
One of these days...
You are a good match for my DH, he would get a bit emotional about UK stuff, thinks I don't notice but i do. Mind you, the American anthem gets him emotional too, he does have an attachment to the US, he's the loyal type and we mostly were treat good in the US, but he also get emotional for the R Navy evening hymn as he put years in there too.
He had always said there would be a trigger that told us when the time would be right to come back, and we came to that particular fork in the road earlier this year. Any prep you can do beforehand makes that final effort easier.
Nov 25th 2010, 8:05 am
#78
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
One of these days..........FISH you WILL be there.......you just need to stop procrastinating and wishing and hoping and praying and JUST DO IT!! You are a hell of a lot luckier than most peeps on here in that you have assets in more than one house........so do it man.........get rid and get back home!! You are living in the wrong country and you know it.........life is too short to procrastinate any longer.........it is for NOW and for living not DYING.......just keep posting about your FEELINGS and you will get there.........I promise you, forget about all the HEAD stuff, the FEELING stuff is what matters the most......
I appreciate your comments, I really do...
I certainly realise I'm luckier than many people on these forums, I know you have very little Barb, and I'm sure its irritating when you read that some people seem to have endless amounts of money or numerous homes, and they think they have problems.
I'm not really procrastinating, we have high unemployment in this area, Hi tech and call centre jobs went to China and India, homes are simply not selling, My home was worth 235 two years ago, a similar home down the street has been up for 6 months at 185 and is still for sale, its a nice house, I know the people, 185 really is a lowball give away price.
4 homes sold in this town last month, and more homes go up for sale every day, plus all the foreclosures, we'd have enough homes to sell for another 5 years if nobody else listed, We've had about a dozen lookers at my parents place since Sept 09 and still no buyer, well I did have one, I was told they were pre-approved, but then the bank wouldn't lend them the money.
The truth is its not just my decision, or just my money, My Wife has a 50% say in all of this too, there is no way she would go back without funds, me either, we cant just walk away from the equity in these homes, neither are paid for but its all we have, I have no retirement money so every penny counts, my wife would be perfectly happy to stay here, I'm the one who really wants to go back.
We are self employed and I intend to be self employed again once I'm back in the UK, Building a Biz takes time and money, plus you need to be able to last for 6 months or more while not earning, I can't ever imagine seeing the day when I will retire.
There is no way I'm going to rely on someone giving me a job, I went back to the UK in 89/90 and had numerous job promises, tough times, 300 people applying for one job, finally everything fell apart and we came back to our old jobs, the hardest flight I've ever had to make.
I don't expect anyone to give me anything, I've had almost two years in my life where I was out of work, I've never collected a single penny unemployment from the British or American Governments, I lived off my savings, after working for a company for 16 years I was let go for being a whistle blower, one of my bosses was a thief, the company let me go while that person kept their job, and yes it was depressing, but that's life sometimes, Id never do it again, it makes me sick even thinking about it.
I'm passionate about going back but only with the conditions we can live with, I just have it be honest with my wife and myself.
Again ladies I Thankyou.
Nov 25th 2010, 8:09 am
#79
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Chips, as bw says, do it man, be where your heart is.
You are a good match for my DH, he would get a bit emotional about UK stuff, thinks I don't notice but i do. Mind you, the American anthem gets him emotional too, he does have an attachment to the US, he's the loyal type and we mostly were treat good in the US, but he also get emotional for the R Navy evening hymn as he put years in there too.
He had always said there would be a trigger that told us when the time would be right to come back, and we came to that particular fork in the road earlier this year. Any prep you can do beforehand makes that final effort easier.
You are a good match for my DH, he would get a bit emotional about UK stuff, thinks I don't notice but i do. Mind you, the American anthem gets him emotional too, he does have an attachment to the US, he's the loyal type and we mostly were treat good in the US, but he also get emotional for the R Navy evening hymn as he put years in there too.
He had always said there would be a trigger that told us when the time would be right to come back, and we came to that particular fork in the road earlier this year. Any prep you can do beforehand makes that final effort easier.
I can understand all the emotional things, Its funny when guys are like that, but Hey its who we are...
I agree prepwork has to help, I spend far too much time one here, thats one problem hahhaahaaa...
Nov 25th 2010, 11:44 am
#80
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Hello Barb and JJ.
I appreciate your comments, I really do...
I certainly realise I'm luckier than many people on these forums, I know you have very little Barb, and I'm sure its irritating when you read that some people seem to have endless amounts of money or numerous homes, and they think they have problems.
I'm not really procrastinating, we have high unemployment in this area, Hi tech and call centre jobs went to China and India, homes are simply not selling, My home was worth 235 two years ago, a similar home down the street has been up for 6 months at 185 and is still for sale, its a nice house, I know the people, 185 really is a lowball give away price.
4 homes sold in this town last month, and more homes go up for sale every day, plus all the foreclosures, we'd have enough homes to sell for another 5 years if nobody else listed, We've had about a dozen lookers at my parents place since Sept 09 and still no buyer, well I did have one, I was told they were pre-approved, but then the bank wouldn't lend them the money.
The truth is its not just my decision, or just my money, My Wife has a 50% say in all of this too, there is no way she would go back without funds, me either, we cant just walk away from the equity in these homes, neither are paid for but its all we have, I have no retirement money so every penny counts, my wife would be perfectly happy to stay here, I'm the one who really wants to go back.
We are self employed and I intend to be self employed again once I'm back in the UK, Building a Biz takes time and money, plus you need to be able to last for 6 months or more while not earning, I can't ever imagine seeing the day when I will retire.
There is no way I'm going to rely on someone giving me a job, I went back to the UK in 89/90 and had numerous job promises, tough times, 300 people applying for one job, finally everything fell apart and we came back to our old jobs, the hardest flight I've ever had to make.
I don't expect anyone to give me anything, I've had almost two years in my life where I was out of work, I've never collected a single penny unemployment from the British or American Governments, I lived off my savings, after working for a company for 16 years I was let go for being a whistle blower, one of my bosses was a thief, the company let me go while that person kept their job, and yes it was depressing, but that's life sometimes, Id never do it again, it makes me sick even thinking about it.
I'm passionate about going back but only with the conditions we can live with, I just have it be honest with my wife and myself.
Again ladies I Thankyou.
I appreciate your comments, I really do...
I certainly realise I'm luckier than many people on these forums, I know you have very little Barb, and I'm sure its irritating when you read that some people seem to have endless amounts of money or numerous homes, and they think they have problems.
I'm not really procrastinating, we have high unemployment in this area, Hi tech and call centre jobs went to China and India, homes are simply not selling, My home was worth 235 two years ago, a similar home down the street has been up for 6 months at 185 and is still for sale, its a nice house, I know the people, 185 really is a lowball give away price.
4 homes sold in this town last month, and more homes go up for sale every day, plus all the foreclosures, we'd have enough homes to sell for another 5 years if nobody else listed, We've had about a dozen lookers at my parents place since Sept 09 and still no buyer, well I did have one, I was told they were pre-approved, but then the bank wouldn't lend them the money.
The truth is its not just my decision, or just my money, My Wife has a 50% say in all of this too, there is no way she would go back without funds, me either, we cant just walk away from the equity in these homes, neither are paid for but its all we have, I have no retirement money so every penny counts, my wife would be perfectly happy to stay here, I'm the one who really wants to go back.
We are self employed and I intend to be self employed again once I'm back in the UK, Building a Biz takes time and money, plus you need to be able to last for 6 months or more while not earning, I can't ever imagine seeing the day when I will retire.
There is no way I'm going to rely on someone giving me a job, I went back to the UK in 89/90 and had numerous job promises, tough times, 300 people applying for one job, finally everything fell apart and we came back to our old jobs, the hardest flight I've ever had to make.
I don't expect anyone to give me anything, I've had almost two years in my life where I was out of work, I've never collected a single penny unemployment from the British or American Governments, I lived off my savings, after working for a company for 16 years I was let go for being a whistle blower, one of my bosses was a thief, the company let me go while that person kept their job, and yes it was depressing, but that's life sometimes, Id never do it again, it makes me sick even thinking about it.
I'm passionate about going back but only with the conditions we can live with, I just have it be honest with my wife and myself.
Again ladies I Thankyou.
By the way, this is not, per se, my reason for wanting to return. It was, however, my wake-up call to the fleecing of the middle-class in America. Over all, the reason for returning is that Britain is my home. I was British and 23 when I came to the U.S. and I retained my British values and outlook on life and I am very thankful for that.
Last edited by windsong; Nov 25th 2010 at 11:55 am.
Nov 25th 2010, 1:58 pm
#81
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Sunrise, Florida, now S.C USA, soon to be back In Brum, UK
Posts: 136
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Hopefully this is my last Thanks Giving in the U.S.... i cant belive the damn cruise ship has all the kennels booked for the entire year of 2011.... now i will haveto fly with my little one and thats become another worry for me...
Also my UK passport just expired so i need to send that one in with new pics and get that done. i am a U.S citizen too now but thankfully u cannot give p your UK citizenship....
i hope my dog flys ok.. so much to do its very stressful but will all be worth it, none the les (-:
cant wait to get home!
Also my UK passport just expired so i need to send that one in with new pics and get that done. i am a U.S citizen too now but thankfully u cannot give p your UK citizenship....
i hope my dog flys ok.. so much to do its very stressful but will all be worth it, none the les (-:
cant wait to get home!
Nov 25th 2010, 2:31 pm
#82
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=690803
Good luck!
Nov 25th 2010, 2:47 pm
#83
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Sunrise, Florida, now S.C USA, soon to be back In Brum, UK
Posts: 136
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Hayley: Please see this post from 'England1971'; he/she managed to get a last-minute spot for his/her dog on the QM2 earlier this month due to a cancellation - and it was cheaper than flying the pet to the UK too! I guess November isn't the most popular time of year for most people to want to take a transatlantic cruise....but I would just keep calling Cunard and obviously get all the paperwork and jabs done for your dog so you're good to go at short notice if necessary:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=690803
Good luck!
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=690803
Good luck!
Nov 25th 2010, 4:55 pm
#84
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,606
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
FnC, I can relate to you somewhat. I have/had a home here that lost value - they all have. I applied for a loan modification almost two years ago and was approved. The banks made an error in the escrow figures and I wanted them to correct them before I signed the final papers. Well, instead of correcting them, they sold my home - with no notice. I was stunned beyond belief when the new owner put a note on my porch. To this day, I have great difficulty believing it happened but I do have a law suit in process against the bank. You never think this sort of thing can happen to you, but it can. In the UK, this would NEVER have happened and, if it did, the government would do something to protect the original owner. Not here. I saved hard for my home and this experience has taken away my faith in this country as well as my feeling of security. The denial has gone to what is going on here. I am out.
By the way, this is not, per se, my reason for wanting to return. It was, however, my wake-up call to the fleecing of the middle-class in America. Over all, the reason for returning is that Britain is my home. I was British and 23 when I came to the U.S. and I retained my British values and outlook on life and I am very thankful for that.
By the way, this is not, per se, my reason for wanting to return. It was, however, my wake-up call to the fleecing of the middle-class in America. Over all, the reason for returning is that Britain is my home. I was British and 23 when I came to the U.S. and I retained my British values and outlook on life and I am very thankful for that.
I just want these Corparations to stay out of the UK, the UK get too much bad influence from this country as it is.
Fleecing of America is EXACTLY RIGHT, Its a Fact not fiction, again I wish you well, Im glad youve made your mind up to go back. Enjoy your day...
Nov 25th 2010, 4:57 pm
#85
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Hello Windsong, Im sorry to hear about the house, it is truly disgusting, Ive heard of such things on TV news but never here on the forum, Corps own this country and always will, the comman man is just brainwashed...
I just want these Corparations to stay out of the UK, the UK get too much bad influence from this country as it is.
Fleecing of America is EXACTLY RIGHT, Its a Fact not fiction, again I wish you well, Im glad youve made your mind up to go back. Enjoy your day...
I just want these Corparations to stay out of the UK, the UK get too much bad influence from this country as it is.
Fleecing of America is EXACTLY RIGHT, Its a Fact not fiction, again I wish you well, Im glad youve made your mind up to go back. Enjoy your day...
Nov 25th 2010, 7:50 pm
#86
Home Sweet Home
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Surrey, England
Posts: 5,128
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Fish and Chips, sorry I hadn't realised it was THAT bad over there, I thought you were just stalling about actually DOING it......
Windsong, that is DISGUSTING about your home, what a terrible thing to happen to anybody, I hope you sue that bank BIG TIME!!
Windsong, that is DISGUSTING about your home, what a terrible thing to happen to anybody, I hope you sue that bank BIG TIME!!
Nov 25th 2010, 8:14 pm
#87
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
I am in the process of a lawsuit against them, Bee. However, even the judges are not necessarily ruling in favor of the homeowners. It seems the banks get away with everything even if they broke the law. The lightswitch is just beginning to dawn on Washington. We are years away from a solution to the crookedness and corruption that is going on. No one really cares. The lightswitch for me, however, was the last 10 years of experiences in this country. I can't believe most people here can't see what is happening. It's unbelievable.
Nov 25th 2010, 9:31 pm
#88
The Kwisatz Haderach
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: North Wales
Posts: 8,080
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
I am in the process of a lawsuit against them, Bee. However, even the judges are not necessarily ruling in favor of the homeowners. It seems the banks get away with everything even if they broke the law. The lightswitch is just beginning to dawn on Washington. We are years away from a solution to the crookedness and corruption that is going on. No one really cares. The lightswitch for me, however, was the last 10 years of experiences in this country. I can't believe most people here can't see what is happening. It's unbelievable.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened with the bank and your house. It's so wrong and no one here seems to care anymore.
Nov 25th 2010, 9:39 pm
#89
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 4,100
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
Funny you should say 10 years, thats the year I told Dh financially it would be better to move back to UK, he dug in his heels, and here we sit.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened with the bank and your house. It's so wrong and no one here seems to care anymore.
I'm sorry to hear about what happened with the bank and your house. It's so wrong and no one here seems to care anymore.
Nov 25th 2010, 10:06 pm
#90
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Swindon, Wiltshire
Posts: 54
Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
[QUOTE=hayleyatfla;9003642 hope my dog flys ok.. so much to do its very stressful but will all be worth it, none the les (-:
cant wait to get home![/QUOTE]
If it is any consolation, I am sure your dog will be fine, in 2008 we flew our dog and cat from Aus to the UK, at the time my golden retriever, Rory, was 11 and I was concerned for him, but he was a real trooper and came off the plane the other end as though nothing had happened, it was such a releif to me that both animals settled in really well in the UK, particularly Rory, who seemed so at home.
Unfortunately, I made the stupid decision to come back to Aus after 6 months and we reversed the process, this time they had to go into quarantine for 30 days, that was the hardest thing for them, not the flight. Still they were both coped with it ok and glad to be back in a home they recognised. Sadly I lost my beloved Rory in March this year, at almost 14, but I still say the time he had in beautiful England were some of the happiest of his life and I have some very happy memories of him there.
I hope this puts your mind at rest about your little dog, they are so much more resiliant that we give them credit for!.
cant wait to get home![/QUOTE]
If it is any consolation, I am sure your dog will be fine, in 2008 we flew our dog and cat from Aus to the UK, at the time my golden retriever, Rory, was 11 and I was concerned for him, but he was a real trooper and came off the plane the other end as though nothing had happened, it was such a releif to me that both animals settled in really well in the UK, particularly Rory, who seemed so at home.
Unfortunately, I made the stupid decision to come back to Aus after 6 months and we reversed the process, this time they had to go into quarantine for 30 days, that was the hardest thing for them, not the flight. Still they were both coped with it ok and glad to be back in a home they recognised. Sadly I lost my beloved Rory in March this year, at almost 14, but I still say the time he had in beautiful England were some of the happiest of his life and I have some very happy memories of him there.
I hope this puts your mind at rest about your little dog, they are so much more resiliant that we give them credit for!.