Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Did you get cold feet when you believed you wanted to return to the UK and it came down to booking the flights in case you are making the wrong decision? Keep in looking at flights but not managed to go through with it. I am not 100% happy here in OZ and my kids would like to go back. its just the wife who wants to stay as we have only been here 6 months. I dont believe in the you have to give it 2 years before you settle as I realised pretty early it was the wrong decision to come. but I realise it will all be over once I book those flights. Think i need counciling again :confused:

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

I think everyone on this forum has had cold feet at one time or another. Good luck with it. I am planning for feb 2011. So i don't have to book yet but i am still scared to death.

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

I'm crapping it (sorry excuse language). We were going back on one way flights in June. 3 weeks before hubby gets a job offer. We ended up buying a return ticket from England just because it wasn't much more than cancelling the singles. Because I couldn't book the return leg for 12 months in advance (scheduling) I picked the next best date which happened to be 9th September. Hubby is about to hand his notice in on Monday................. that will be it then for us.

I will either be taking the flights on 9th or slightly after and hubby then following. We know I am unhappy here. He's got a job here but both of us have health problems. Mine I think are made worse through the deep grief of being here. WA isn't that bad. Somethings are great but I want my kids to grow up in England and I am English and nothing I do will shake that.

So it looks like we'll be heading back very very soon :( It has been the hardest decision and I think we've needed to be far braver returning than when we moved out.

Best of luck everyone.

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

I think if you dont get cold feet at some point in deciding to leave or deciding to come back again there is a good chance your brain isn't fully engaged in the process!

Its totaly to be expected, just think it through rationally and do what you think is right.

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Cold feet ?? Mine have been frozen lately and I have tried to put silly obstacles in the way of booking our tickets home.

Now I have got a grip and had a good talk with my husband last night and we went through all the pros and cons again and that helped me.

Your mind goes in swirls and because you have so many things to do and decisions to make. Best to make a list and put all your thoughts on paper. Then you can refer to it each day.

Good luck with the move...we are off soon...

BTW..my wrong decision was coming here in the first place but hey ho..now we know!

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Yes, returning takes a lot more nerve, I think. Heading away (especially the first time) is an adventure that always has a Get Out of Jail Free card (you can always come back), if you change your mind.

Coming back, I think the "What if I'm wrong?" implications are much more complex (especially if you don't have citizenship of wherever you moved to). Plus there is the whole "I must have failed" complex to deal with ...

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Will i returned to uk to southampton and it was wrong i am about to return to Canada and can't wait i am going to have to leave my wife and kids in uk till i have enough money for them to return hopeful with in 6 mths i would think long and hard about it

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Had you thought about another part of UK before putting out the kind of money it takes to move to Canada all over again?

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Agree, I mean Southampton isn't the best part of England :blink:

If you cannot afford to all go back together, why not try somewhere else?

You may get back to Canada and get settled and your wife and kids may want to stay in England, then you will have to come back :ohmy:

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

I agree with Dunroving - moving forward to the place you came from takes much more nerve (dont say "going back" that smacks of failure!).

I think, though, if one of the family doesnt want to make the move then that makes things even harder because unless they are really conscious not to blame everything that goes wrong for the next 20 years on "the move" you can get a fair degree of resentment building up. So to the OP, hopefully your wife can be the bigger person here - she doesnt want to move but her family do - I just hope she doesnt hold you to ransom over it in the future. You may have to work very hard to make sure that she sees some evidence of compromise on your part - maybe moving on to a new place in UK or building long holidays into your finances etc.

Good luck with it - I really do think you "know" if this is the place you belong in and it doesnt take you 2 years to suss that one out. Last thing you want, in that case, is to be trapped here - I can assure you that is the pits!

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

thanks for the comments everyone. probably book flights today as wife has sort of come round and realised its not for all the family. Just realised that our lives were not that bad in Uk and moving because the weather is shit is not a good enough reason. I seriously thought this move was better for my children but they hate it and having witnessed OZ now I dont think that is the case. I am fairly lucky that my job is still open in UK having took a career break and we have our house with a tenant if we want to go back to but dont intend. we will probably rent somewhere. Its just the financial sacrifice moving over and back which is eating me at mo.

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

The longer you stay the bigger the financial hit, you'll buy more furniture, cars, the kids will get settled into the lifestyle. We have tons of stuff to sort through and get rid of. All those bits and pieces you end up with. Your job may not be open for too long, if you want to take advantage of that then you need to jump on that. Most of us move with no job. it can take weeks/months to find a decent one.

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Ah, sensible people! Yup, an expensive experiment but now you know, you wont need to do it again! How wise you were to take a career break!

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Been there (a few times!) and one thing I learned is you just can't waste energy beating yourself up about the money thing - you can't get it back so there's no point. The timing of my moves has meant not only the cost of moving, but huge losses on house sales/purchases, huge losses on exchange rate, blahdeblahdeblah, but you just have to move on and don't let it eat away at you. I can't do anything about the fact my peers have all paid off their mortgages and I have 22 years left of a 25 year mortgage (I'm 53) - though it does piss me off when I get the sneering "You must be loaded on a university lecturer's salary". Grrrrr ....


- See? See you how easy it is to get into the negative thinking rut? Don't do it!! ;)

Re: Scared of Making Wrong Decision
 

Follow your gut feeling pal, She may like it now, but how happy will she be when she finally figures it out, for her to be the only happy one seems a bit selfish, (I'm not picking on her) surely she can see all your faces, I understand the two year thing, but some have agreed to the two years and found themselves agreeing to another year after that, and so it goes till they are stuck, usually I see the guys wanting to stay and the wives wanting to go home, try another six months and see how you honestly feel, then you are meeting her half way.

Let me tell you there are plenty of people have gone and not liked it in Oz, Canada and the USA, just look at these forums, its full of upset and displaced people who crave a normal British life.

Its an awful thing to put a child in place they don't like or fit in, I was moved as a kid, Ive never enjoyed being a fish out of water.

Seek out some threads with others wanting to go back home and have your wife read them, it may make sense to her, if you do move back don't look at this as failure, look at it as a learning experience, at least you gave it a shot, most people cant say that.

Now I wished Id read the whole thread before posting. Huhhhhhhh

I wish you well.