Speak f**kin English !
May 8th 2006, 4:21 pm
#166
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 149
Re: Speak f**kin English !
lol.....
I work in a coffee place and deal with customers all the time. One dear man (ahem!) comes in everyday and greets me with 'cheerio!' to which I reply, 'oh, bye then....' I explained to him that it means goodbye, so he said 'oh, what do you say for 'hello'???? To which the answer, of course, is, erm, HELLO!
My boss at work pretty much says 'Tally Ho!' every time he walks past me and loves it when someone buys a bottle of 'vitamin water' (go on, say it, Ruth, listen to how she says it.....)
The only times it bugs me, I suppose, is when I am saying something serious and want to be listened to, and people don't hear me because they are too busy going 'ooh, isn't it cute' about the accent.
I know people mostly like it and compliment it, but it does get weird sometimes how people don't seem to be aware that there are countries outside America, or that they think England is basically three miles long, we all come from London, and it is made up of London and maybe two villages, one of them being Scotland.....lol
oh well, tally ho, chaps!
Ruth x :scared:
I work in a coffee place and deal with customers all the time. One dear man (ahem!) comes in everyday and greets me with 'cheerio!' to which I reply, 'oh, bye then....' I explained to him that it means goodbye, so he said 'oh, what do you say for 'hello'???? To which the answer, of course, is, erm, HELLO!
My boss at work pretty much says 'Tally Ho!' every time he walks past me and loves it when someone buys a bottle of 'vitamin water' (go on, say it, Ruth, listen to how she says it.....)
The only times it bugs me, I suppose, is when I am saying something serious and want to be listened to, and people don't hear me because they are too busy going 'ooh, isn't it cute' about the accent.
I know people mostly like it and compliment it, but it does get weird sometimes how people don't seem to be aware that there are countries outside America, or that they think England is basically three miles long, we all come from London, and it is made up of London and maybe two villages, one of them being Scotland.....lol
oh well, tally ho, chaps!
Ruth x :scared:
May 8th 2006, 5:41 pm
#167
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 118
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by EnglishTeaDuck
people don't seem to be aware that there are countries outside America, or that they think England is basically three miles long, we all come from London, and it is made up of London and maybe two villages, one of them being Scotland....
May 8th 2006, 5:58 pm
#168
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Late night rant about English standards brough about by browsing too many threads today.
No-one should be allowed to leave school until they have mastered the following.
They were NOT they was
Those things NOT them things
correct use of apostrophes
aitch NOT haitch (this not on forums but a pet hate)
Then maybe we can lecture others.
No-one should be allowed to leave school until they have mastered the following.
They were NOT they was
Those things NOT them things
correct use of apostrophes
aitch NOT haitch (this not on forums but a pet hate)
Then maybe we can lecture others.
May 9th 2006, 1:03 am
#169
Who?
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Stepford
Posts: 3,098
Re: Speak f**kin English !
We hadn't been here very long and I was explaining to someone why I couldn't work on my H4 visa and they offered to find me cleaning jobs that didn't require a ss number. It wasn't the cleaning jobs it was the way it was said made me feel really small and worthless.
But then the guy's mother said " I really like London and the part I like the most is Bath."
Then she asked me if we had Christmas in England.
I ceased to feel small and worthless at that point.
But then the guy's mother said " I really like London and the part I like the most is Bath."
Then she asked me if we had Christmas in England.
I ceased to feel small and worthless at that point.
Last edited by jumping doris; May 9th 2006 at 1:03 am. Reason: spelling
May 9th 2006, 5:36 pm
#170
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,820
Re: Speak f**kin English !
A couple of years ago we were planning our annual UK trip and some relatives talked of comming with us, one very stupid woman (non relative) asked all sorts of insulting questions but the worst was "And do they have stores over there where you can buy food when you need it ?"
May 10th 2006, 8:19 am
#171
Back where I belong!
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Patrick Hasler
A couple of years ago we were planning our annual UK trip and some relatives talked of comming with us, one very stupid woman (non relative) asked all sorts of insulting questions but the worst was "And do they have stores over there where you can buy food when you need it ?"
May 16th 2006, 8:17 am
#172
Being myself
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 605
Re: Speak f**kin English !
My colleague just asked me "do you have hamburgers in England?"
"No", I replied, "our cows aren't big enough."
He left looking very confused. I love messing with them when they ask stupid questions.
"No", I replied, "our cows aren't big enough."
He left looking very confused. I love messing with them when they ask stupid questions.
May 16th 2006, 8:33 am
#173
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 118
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by peterbainham
My colleague just asked me "do you have hamburgers in England?"
"No", I replied, "our cows aren't big enough."
He left looking very confused. I love messing with them when they ask stupid questions.
"No", I replied, "our cows aren't big enough."
He left looking very confused. I love messing with them when they ask stupid questions.
Amongst many many gems I've had:
"Do you have pinball in England?"
"Do you celebrate christmas in England?"
"Do you have Levis in England?"
"Did you drive here from England?"
and the clear winner is (I witnessed this as it was asked of an English colleague) :
"Did you have to learn 'our' language before coming here?".
May 16th 2006, 8:45 am
#174
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Infinity and beyond
Posts: 1,324
Re: Speak f**kin English !
My favourites so far:
1. Are you allowed to criticise the Queen?
2. Do you speak English? (after being introduced as "British")
3. Can I pay in US$?(in a restaurant in Germany)
4. Wow, how may languages can she speak (after hearing my kid speak with US accent)
5. Do you have credit cards in England?
6. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
7. Do you celebrate Christmas on the same day as us?
1. Are you allowed to criticise the Queen?
2. Do you speak English? (after being introduced as "British")
3. Can I pay in US$?(in a restaurant in Germany)
4. Wow, how may languages can she speak (after hearing my kid speak with US accent)
5. Do you have credit cards in England?
6. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
7. Do you celebrate Christmas on the same day as us?
May 16th 2006, 8:59 am
#175
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Partystar
The mind boggles!
May 16th 2006, 9:01 am
#176
Back where I belong!
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Melbourne, Oz to Banbury, England to El Mirage, AZ & now back to England!
Posts: 5,989
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
My father-in law is from Gateshead. When we moved to Birmingham (thats Birmingham, England) he asked us "do they have shops there, like?"
May 16th 2006, 9:27 am
#177
Being myself
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 605
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Rompers
My favourites so far:
1. Are you allowed to criticise the Queen?
2. Do you speak English? (after being introduced as "British")
3. Can I pay in US$?(in a restaurant in Germany)
4. Wow, how may languages can she speak (after hearing my kid speak with US accent)
5. Do you have credit cards in England?
6. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
7. Do you celebrate Christmas on the same day as us?
1. Are you allowed to criticise the Queen?
2. Do you speak English? (after being introduced as "British")
3. Can I pay in US$?(in a restaurant in Germany)
4. Wow, how may languages can she speak (after hearing my kid speak with US accent)
5. Do you have credit cards in England?
6. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving?
7. Do you celebrate Christmas on the same day as us?
2. ¿Que?
3. The German economy is still only operating under a bartering system (1 turnip = 2 potatoes).
4. One more than you.
5. Though we seek to emulate German efficiency, we still haven't got the hang of bartering yet. Bring a spear and plenty of rocks if travelling here.
6. Yes, but we're thankful for you leaving, not arriving.
7. Christmas is celebrated every third tuesday according to our belief that the Messiah frequently climbed back into Mary's womb when he couldn't handle all the public expectation. It would then take approximately three weeks for Joseph to coax our Lord out using a ball and, if necessary, a sturdy plunger.
May 16th 2006, 9:42 am
#178
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Infinity and beyond
Posts: 1,324
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by peterbainham
1. Yes, but only in morse code.
2. ¿Que?
3. The German economy is still only operating under a bartering system (1 turnip = 2 potatoes).
4. One more than you.
5. Though we seek to emulate German efficiency, we still haven't got the hang of bartering yet. Bring a spear and plenty of rocks if travelling here.
6. Yes, but we're thankful for you leaving, not arriving.
7. Christmas is celebrated every third tuesday according to our belief that the Messiah frequently climbed back into Mary's womb when he couldn't handle all the public expectation. It would then take approximately three weeks for Joseph to coax our Lord out using a ball and, if necessary, a sturdy plunger.
2. ¿Que?
3. The German economy is still only operating under a bartering system (1 turnip = 2 potatoes).
4. One more than you.
5. Though we seek to emulate German efficiency, we still haven't got the hang of bartering yet. Bring a spear and plenty of rocks if travelling here.
6. Yes, but we're thankful for you leaving, not arriving.
7. Christmas is celebrated every third tuesday according to our belief that the Messiah frequently climbed back into Mary's womb when he couldn't handle all the public expectation. It would then take approximately three weeks for Joseph to coax our Lord out using a ball and, if necessary, a sturdy plunger.
Welcome to BE.
May 16th 2006, 10:27 am
#179
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Oz -> UK -> San Diego
Posts: 9,912
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by peterbainham
1. Yes, but only in morse code.
2. ¿Que?
3. The German economy is still only operating under a bartering system (1 turnip = 2 potatoes).
4. One more than you.
5. Though we seek to emulate German efficiency, we still haven't got the hang of bartering yet. Bring a spear and plenty of rocks if travelling here.
6. Yes, but we're thankful for you leaving, not arriving.
7. Christmas is celebrated every third tuesday according to our belief that the Messiah frequently climbed back into Mary's womb when he couldn't handle all the public expectation. It would then take approximately three weeks for Joseph to coax our Lord out using a ball and, if necessary, a sturdy plunger.
2. ¿Que?
3. The German economy is still only operating under a bartering system (1 turnip = 2 potatoes).
4. One more than you.
5. Though we seek to emulate German efficiency, we still haven't got the hang of bartering yet. Bring a spear and plenty of rocks if travelling here.
6. Yes, but we're thankful for you leaving, not arriving.
7. Christmas is celebrated every third tuesday according to our belief that the Messiah frequently climbed back into Mary's womb when he couldn't handle all the public expectation. It would then take approximately three weeks for Joseph to coax our Lord out using a ball and, if necessary, a sturdy plunger.
Like ya style!
May 16th 2006, 10:39 am
#180
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
So do I! 
