Speak f**kin English !
May 1st 2006, 12:41 pm
#136
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Joined: Aug 2004
Location: Virtual Reality
Posts: 10,831
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by lionheart
That's coz they think you are a bloke with that haircut and no tits 
......besides I looked more like a dyke only I didn't have the highlights and plaid shirts 
And I've already made peace with the fact that even with a boob job you will still have the bigger titties
May 1st 2006, 12:41 pm
#137
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
Posts: 18,402
Re: Speak f**kin English !
This thread reminds me of the time I ran into this American woman, she was married to an Irish guy and she explained her FIL was over and he didn't like the bacon compared to what you could get in the UK/Eire. After listening to him compalin she had ran around various American shops asking for Ticker Bacon to no avail and was very frustrated?????????????
When she got home she learnt from her hubby that his old man was complaining that the bacon back home was thicker. I pissed myself when she told me
When she got home she learnt from her hubby that his old man was complaining that the bacon back home was thicker. I pissed myself when she told me
May 1st 2006, 12:43 pm
#138
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
Posts: 18,402
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Celtic_Angel
oh how did I miss this little gem....you know you love me really ......besides I looked more like a dyke only I didn't have the highlights and plaid shirts
And I've already made peace with the fact that even with a boob job you will still have the bigger titties
......besides I looked more like a dyke only I didn't have the highlights and plaid shirts And I've already made peace with the fact that even with a boob job you will still have the bigger titties
May 1st 2006, 12:43 pm
#139
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Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Celtic_Angel
oh how did I miss this little gem....you know you love me really ......besides I looked more like a dyke only I didn't have the highlights and plaid shirts
And I've already made peace with the fact that even with a boob job you will still have the bigger titties
......besides I looked more like a dyke only I didn't have the highlights and plaid shirts And I've already made peace with the fact that even with a boob job you will still have the bigger titties
May 1st 2006, 12:46 pm
#140
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Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
Posts: 18,402
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
Isn't there a French saying about small breasts meaning you are closer to the heart? Won't bother looking it up, I'll wait for Elvira.
So you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee too
May 1st 2006, 12:46 pm
#141
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Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by lionheart
This thread reminds me of the time I ran into this American woman, she was married to an Irish guy and she explained her FIL was over and he didn't like the bacon compared to what you could get in the UK/Eire. After listening to him compalin she had ran around various American shops asking for Ticker Bacon to no avail and was very frustrated?????????????
When she got home she learnt from her hubby that his old man was complaining that the bacon back home was thicker. I pissed myself when she told me
When she got home she learnt from her hubby that his old man was complaining that the bacon back home was thicker. I pissed myself when she told me
Did he shop in "Timoty Woits", for some reason that stuck in my mind from someone Irish in my childhood, but my husband hadn't even heard of those shops.
May 1st 2006, 12:47 pm
#142
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Posts: 15,455
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by lionheart
So you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee too
May 1st 2006, 12:49 pm
#143
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Location: Virtual Reality
Posts: 10,831
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by lionheart
So you are a member of the itty bitty titty committee too
May 1st 2006, 12:50 pm
#144
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Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
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Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Sallyanne
No I'd like to be. You can buy lovely clothes more easily.
Get real woman, the only clothes we care how they look in is Victoria secrets
May 1st 2006, 12:52 pm
#145
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Location: Virtual Reality
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Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by lionheart
Get real woman, the only clothes we care how they look in is Victoria secrets
May 1st 2006, 12:54 pm
#146
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Location: Santa Monica,CA from Birmingham, UK
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Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Celtic_Angel
....that's you covered...but what does Elina wear??
May 1st 2006, 1:34 pm
#147
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Posts: 1,812
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Patrick Hasler
How many times have you heard that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
Yes, this has certainly happened to me. Last year I was working in a call center in Largo, Florida. People would call in to enter a contest to win a million dollars, and we would try to pitch magazines to callers.
One guy called from Pennsylvania I think, and we went through the usual scripted pitch, but the guy was finding it difficult to understand me. Some Americans have no ear for dialects or accents. Anyhow he just said, "screw this, talk American can't ya"
I was going to tell him that I was speaking American (The English accent is the REAL American accent), but I figured my boss woud be listening in to the call and I could get fired. Anyhow I just let the idiot hang up on me, and moved to take the next call.
I resigned from that job a week later, I was getting so much hassle and from callers angry at my trying to pitch magazines to them when they just wanted to enter a contest.
May 1st 2006, 1:50 pm
#148
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,812
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Patrick Hasler
How many times have you heard that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
Anyhow my ex-girlfriend and I went out to a local city, Frankenmuth, which is a German town in the middle of Michigan. They have a Christmas shop which is open all year. We went to shop and maybe have dinner at one of the excellent local eateries.
We were in some store, and we got talking to another customer, a lady, and she remarked about how well I spoke English. She then asked me 'where did you learn to speak English so well'?
Well I just looked at my ex-girlfriend, she looked at me, and we just stood their with open mouths not believing what the lady had said.
I just told her I was England, but nothing registered on her mind, then my ex-girlfriend just said, "you Know ENGLAND, where the English language originates from? The lady said, No, the language originates in North America.
Well we just laughed, and moved on. Some Americans are so stupid, it defies belief.
May 1st 2006, 7:48 pm
#149
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 118
Re: Speak f**kin English !
I've experienced a similiarly incredible reaction six years ago when I first moved out here. I don't often tell the tale because people don't believe me!
A woman where I worked asked my colleague (also English. We had both just arrived on a work placement) If he was from Australia. He politely replied "no, I'm from London, England." to which she responded with "So did you have to learn English to come here?". He just sort of rolled his eyes and just said "Yes, my parents taught me". I was too amazed to be cracking up laughing!
A woman where I worked asked my colleague (also English. We had both just arrived on a work placement) If he was from Australia. He politely replied "no, I'm from London, England." to which she responded with "So did you have to learn English to come here?". He just sort of rolled his eyes and just said "Yes, my parents taught me". I was too amazed to be cracking up laughing!
May 1st 2006, 8:53 pm
#150
Oiiii.. You slaggg!
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Brisbaneshire
Posts: 5,209
Re: Speak f**kin English !
Originally Posted by Patrick Hasler
How many times have you heard that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
I have heard it countless times since being here and I usually give some remark like 'I am f**kin English, it's you who can't speak it'
One afternoon last week as I was driving out of a company in Glens Falls NY I saw a truck slowly pulling in and the driver was so confused, I saw him grabbing his CB mike to talk to me ... "Hey driver is this Pactive corporation ?"
I answered "Yes driver, just pull straight ahead into the trailer parking area and dispatch is on the left"
"Where's dispatch ?"
"On your left when you enter the trailer parking area"
"Where ?"
"On your left"
"Speak f**king English"
"How about I come back there and punch you on your nose you cheeky bastard ? ..... I am English"
"F**kin imigrants" He said.
"Find it yourself asshole"
As I left I heard the yard guy telling him he was lucky not to have a black eye and that to say that to me was a real insult
How often do you get reactions like that ?
