Originally Posted by Lestagirl

Rodney you are going to be fine, they will love your accent, do you know how many people are going to say Oh where are you from, then you will have such a great story to tell.
My UK friend that I chat to on AIM everyday keeps reminding me of English spellings. i.e Cheque and Tyres or is it Tires for us.... oh dear.......

Originally Posted by aes1

Again, I agree entirely, also with you, Poppcat. We all need a balance between being on our own and being with others. I would say my balance is somewhere near 75 alone/25% with others. Each one of us is different. However, I find that never getting bored on my own has definitely helped me in life, especially now, moving to a country where I knew no one and nothing. And not really caring too much (only 25%) whether I make lots of social friends or not. In the USA I had a cat, Hopie, (excellent company), but I am finding I am really too busy here to even miss her. I just came back from my first day of TEFL (learning how to teach English as a foreign language). There are 12 of us in the group, I think I am the oldest by far!! Most are still students at school or college! I think it will be great fun though, except for the teaching practice (tests!) at the end Just less than 4 weeks away and I am already nervous!!! But I am certain whatever happens is supposed to, so why worry about it? The classes are late afternoon and in the mornings I am doing marketing work at the hotel (by the way, both places are literally just around the corner from me to walk). The job is proving to be so much fun. At the moment I am researching 3UA groups in the UK. There is a ton of stuff for us all back there when we retire! Next week I begin my training for volunteer work at the hospital, and after that training for volunteer work for helping Maltese speak better English. That will be four different hats to wear!!! But life is full of adventure, diversity, and having fun - after so many years of worry and stress, I am making the most of it! Whatever Malta has to offer me, bring it on!!! (With a little money at the same time would be nice please ).

Originally Posted by aes1

That's funny, ED, and just goes to show how much you love each other. He recognizes you might nag, but can make a joke of it!! I too need my space, and, having been married and divorced twice now, think my perfect relationship would be where my partner lives down the street from me! That way I don't have to come home to find he has made more of a mess, or put his stuff away and tidy up around him!!! We could share places and go to our own place if and when we wanted!!! Though I do like to have someone to fall asleep with and wake up with, I really don't need him during the night keeping me awake with his snoring

Originally Posted by jasper123

Hello Fish,
Thanks for the advice about my friend, but you see he suffers from post traumatic stress disorder, He was just leaving Vegas to go home to his parents for six weeks who live in New York city, they are both in there 90's and both have Alzhiemers,
Anyway we had aranged for me to live at his house for the 6 weeks and look after the house while he was away, well it was the evening before his flight the next day, we were out back in his garden and he was showing me how to water all the plants with the hose every night, and how to turn on and off the juccuzi every night to keep the water clean I think, well he suffers on an every day basis with high levals of stress but you see he hates flying and this was the night before his flight so of course his stress leval at that time was out of control,

While we were out in the garden and he was showing me how to do everything he came over as though he was ordering me around like he was not just asking me he was telling me, I took offense and I just said look I'm out of here, I will see you in the morning and I will be around as planned to take you to the airport, he then just said forget it --- get out of my house, and dont ever come around here again, he just went crazy so I just got into my car and drove away,

I cant see us being friends anymore, but he (was) a good friend though for the last 9 years, oh well thats life I suppose,

And Fish about when I go home that advice on find a nice local pub and I will meet friends easily, thats what I plan to do maybe I thought a night out once a week on my own, that will give Mum some space away from me once a week, I think we all need that,

But I have always been a loner, and I supose that has been why I have always found it hard to make friends, I enjoy my own company but I still need friends,
you know what worrys me when I go back home and when I try to meet people, I'm thinking that my accent alone will be enough to scare people off, how can I fit in with a weird accent like mine, its a bit of Oz/Canadian/American/and English all in one, I dont have an American accent but I also dont have an English one either,
At the moment I am trying to pronounce my words like we do in UK you know a little bit of practice maybe buy the time I get back I will talk just like a Pompey local,

Take care Fish,
Rodney.

Originally Posted by Marmalade

75/25% sounds about right - perfect balance

You are definitely very busy over there, keep it up, what an adventure

Yes, I have let worry and stress rule me too much of the time, now I am just letting silly things go so I can enjoy my life

What are 3UA groups?

Originally Posted by Easterndawn

How sad for you Rodney, perhaps he is more upset about you leaving him than has told you and this was his way of dealing with it. I wouldn't give up on the friendship yet, perhaps see him when he returns, at least once, if it goes well then that will be good and if it does not then you will not spend time wondering what if's.

Originally Posted by aes1

University of the Third Age. They are groups that have spread like mushrooms throughout the UK. People of retiring age or retired who want to join a social group to share a common activity and make friends. All done on a volunteer basis, sometimes a small fee, like 10 pounds to join for a year. Each group and area is different. You can for example, find groups that paint, walk, knit, do photography, yoga, crafts, flower arranging, read books, history, play chess, etc, etc. The list is endless. The common denominator is the age. Look them up for an area you are going back to.

BTW Rodney, that's a good idea for you when you go back!!!

Originally Posted by Easterndawn

How sad for you Rodney, perhaps he is more upset about you leaving him than has told you and this was his way of dealing with it. I wouldn't give up on the friendship yet, perhaps see him when he returns, at least once, if it goes well then that will be good and if it does not then you will not spend time wondering what if's.

Originally Posted by aes1

University of the Third Age. They are groups that have spread like mushrooms throughout the UK. People of retiring age or retired who want to join a social group to share a common activity and make friends. All done on a volunteer basis, sometimes a small fee, like 10 pounds to join for a year. Each group and area is different. You can for example, find groups that paint, walk, knit, do photography, yoga, crafts, flower arranging, read books, history, play chess, etc, etc. The list is endless. The common denominator is the age. Look them up for an area you are going back to.

BTW Rodney, that's a good idea for you when you go back!!!

Originally Posted by HighTide

Rodney I think what ED said really might of hit the nail on the head. He may not be able to handle losing his good friend and it may have all been too much for him with having to fly the next day as well. I have witnessed incredibly stressed people who are terrified of flying and unfortunately you were there and he lashed out at you. I am sure he will have time to think about his actions whilst he is in New York. Maybe give him one more chance like ED suggests when he returns.

As for your worries about your mixed up accent (as is mine without the Aussie being thrown in) I think you will just do fine. I always find when I go home to Devon on a visit and go to the local and they are always curious about the accent and are always extremely friendy. Even moreso when I tell them I grew up in the town and all my family are there. Just find a decent pub with good real ale and of course Guiness. One without loud music which is not part of a chain. There are still some around. You will soon make friends. Then of course you have all your great friends on here too.

Originally Posted by aes1

Rodney, come to Malta!!! There are so many different languages and accents here, you will fit in immediately!!! Seriously though, don't worry about it. We are all in the same boat, not really English, not really US/Can, etc. No one cares. And, as you say, you are OK on your own, so what are you worrying about? Just let things happen, everything will be fine. This is just pre moving nerves, like pre wedding nerves Don't make your self sick over it, because then you won't be ready for the flight when the time comes! And remember, nothing is set in stone, if you really don't want to be where you are, you can move again!!! As for your friend, you sound as if you understood why he was behaving as he did - pre flying nerves. Although I believe that friends, like everyone in our lives, are there for a reason, a season or a lifetime, so it might just be time for you and he not to be in each other's lives any more, I also believe in karma and not bearing a grudge. We cannot ever put ourselves in someone else's shoes, so perhaps you can find it in your heart to show him some loving kindness and greet him with a warm welcome when he returns. As for new friends, smile at all strangers you meet, everyone could become a friend one day. From your friend, Anna

Originally Posted by jasper123

Thanks Anna for those words, my eyes at the moment are starting to tear up,
I will try that and give him a warm welcome when he returns home and just see what happens,
Thanks for being my friend,
Rodney.

Originally Posted by Beedubya

WOOOHOOOO!! I got the job, the pay isn't as much as I would have liked (in fact $18,000 per year less than I was getting before I left Oz at my last job!!) but you gotta start somewhere and this job has great potential!!

Thank you all so much for your karma and good wishes, the Universe must have been listening.

Originally Posted by quoll

Great news!!! The only way is up now you have your foot on the ladder. Still in the 'Gong or up in the big smoke?