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OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

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Old Sep 18th 2009, 5:17 pm
  #241  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

On the subject of being in cultural limbo:

I just was walking the dog and thinking through some of the things that have been said in this thread and some of the situations many of you are in (especially those who have been in Canada/US for most of your adult lives). I was wondering whether any of you worry about coming all the way "home" and being culturally at odds with modern Britain? (or for those who have already moved back after many years overseas, did you experience it, how do you deal wiith it)?

As some of you know, I've found it difficult being back in the UK for many reasons (professional, financial, to name two biggies). Another one is that, after living on the other side of the Atlantic for 23 years, I find that I identify much more with American culture than I do with UK culture. The UK I grew up in is long gone, and even after more than three years back here, I still find myself at odds with living in modern Britain. I am sure that part of it is not only the length of time I've been away, but the fact that for most of the first 15 years or so, I was mostly out of touch with what was going on in the UK (no internet back then, no BBCAmerica, unaffordable phone calls, infrequent visits back here). Sometimes I feel much more of a foreigner here than I ever did in the UK. At least over there it was expected that I'd be a little different, whereas here it's more of an oddity than I often have no clue about something people are talking about (because I wasn't around in the 80's or 90's) or I talk with a strange midatlantic accent. Sometimes it does my head in, especially when I'm already having a bad day for other reasons.

Anybody else experienced this?
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 5:57 pm
  #242  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

I think Dunrovin's question and experience are very interesting. I have lived in US since I was 26, and before that I lived in Italy, having gone there right after college in UK. So I have never lived in the UK as an independent, working adult.

And yet, when I go back for visits, while some things are strange and I do have a slightly peculiar accent, I feel very much at home. I never feel like a foreigner. I feel very much happier there, though I like where I am living in the US. It's just that the feel of the English air, the smells (!), the trees, the birdsong...all this is what I grew up with, it's indelibly part of my psyche.

Plus I have always gone back to the same town where I lived from ages 14-18 and where I went back to in college vacations, and where my mother and some siblings still live. So it's a familiar place.

If and when we go back for longer periods--my longest stay so far has been three weeks--and if I (and or my husband) looks for work, and if it's hard to make ends meet, in other words if actually living there is very different and much harder than just visiting, I'm in for a brutal awakening.
But I find it hard to imagine being very unhappy there, all the same.

I'm most worried about being on different continent from children (all in their twenties.)

Like Dunrovin, I'd be very interested to hear from others who have gone back and had difficulty.

By the way, I just want to add that I'm to the thread and to British Expats and so have brought up some questions that have previously been dealt with, probably many times-- sorry about that. I apologise for any annoyance.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 5:59 pm
  #243  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

I was Thinking about this very subject sometime between 1:00am and 5:00am this morning. I am really a product of Canadian civilization, as I have lived here for more years than I care to remember. I speak like a Canadian and yes, I probable think like one in most of my thinking. As I have gotten older, though, I have found more and more of my Scottishness coming to the surface, maybe it is that I am getting older or that the world is spinning to very fast, not sure.

I find myself thinking if I will be able to get some of my favourite foods, clothes sizing and shoe sizing is different, driving on the other side, using new currency, going back to miles and so many more things. I hope that I can look at this as an adventure similiar to what my parents did when they came in 1965, 50 and 52 years old. They came at a time when the British Government would not allow money out of the country so if I can remember they came with about $5,000.00 not sure what that would work out to now. They did okay for themselves and their family and I hope the same will be able to be said of myself.

Will I feel like an outsider, I am not sure. I have felt like that most of my life here. What I do know, is that this is our decision, not one that was made for me. I have done all that I can do to prepare for this move, financially, emotionally and in every way that I could to educate myself to the ways of the New UK. Time will only tell. I will keep in touch with the forum writing about the good and the bad, so we will just have to wait and see.

Originally Posted by dunroving
On the subject of being in cultural limbo:

I just was walking the dog and thinking through some of the things that have been said in this thread and some of the situations many of you are in (especially those who have been in Canada/US for most of your adult lives). I was wondering whether any of you worry about coming all the way "home" and being culturally at odds with modern Britain? (or for those who have already moved back after many years overseas, did you experience it, how do you deal wiith it)?

As some of you know, I've found it difficult being back in the UK for many reasons (professional, financial, to name two biggies). Another one is that, after living on the other side of the Atlantic for 23 years, I find that I identify much more with American culture than I do with UK culture. The UK I grew up in is long gone, and even after more than three years back here, I still find myself at odds with living in modern Britain. I am sure that part of it is not only the length of time I've been away, but the fact that for most of the first 15 years or so, I was mostly out of touch with what was going on in the UK (no internet back then, no BBCAmerica, unaffordable phone calls, infrequent visits back here). Sometimes I feel much more of a foreigner here than I ever did in the UK. At least over there it was expected that I'd be a little different, whereas here it's more of an oddity than I often have no clue about something people are talking about (because I wasn't around in the 80's or 90's) or I talk with a strange midatlantic accent. Sometimes it does my head in, especially when I'm already having a bad day for other reasons.

Anybody else experienced this?
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 7:23 pm
  #244  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

[QUOTE=dunroving;7943284]On the subject of being in cultural limbo:

I just was walking the dog and thinking through some of the things that have been said in this thread and some of the situations many of you are in (especially those who have been in Canada/US for most of your adult lives). I was wondering whether any of you worry about coming all the way "home" and being culturally at odds with modern Britain? (or for those who have already moved back after many years overseas, did you experience it, how do you deal wiith it)?

As some of you know, I've found it difficult being back in the UK for many reasons (professional, financial, to name two biggies). Another one is that, after living on the other side of the Atlantic for 23 years, I find that I identify much more with American culture than I do with UK culture. The UK I grew up in is long gone, and even after more than three years back here, I still find myself at odds with living in modern Britain. I am sure that part of it is not only the length of time I've been away, but the fact that for most of the first 15 years or so, I was mostly out of touch with what was going on in the UK (no internet back then, no BBCAmerica, unaffordable phone calls, infrequent visits back here). Sometimes I feel much more of a foreigner here than I ever did in the UK. At least over there it was expected that I'd be a little different, whereas here it's more of an oddity than I often have no clue about something people are talking about (because I wasn't around in the 80's or 90's) or I talk with a strange midatlantic accent. Sometimes it does my head in, especially when I'm already having a bad day for other reasons.

Anybody else experienced this?[/QUOTE
This is something that I think about. As of this month I have been 45 years in the US and am out of touch with almost everything. I would be lost too at a lot of things people are talking about. Americans, as a rule don't have much interest in other countries culture or political views so there is not much international news available. I have never had to live on my own, buy groceries or deal with various authorities in UK. I will have to start from scratch with everything without much money to go on. BUT, despite all this I long to be there and have done so for many years. Maybe I will return
and miss all that I like about the US (and there is lots) but I want to try it.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 7:48 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

else experienced this?[/QUOTE
This is something that I think about. As of this month I have been 45 years in the US and am out of touch with almost everything. I would be lost too at a lot of things people are talking about. Americans, as a rule don't have much interest in other countries culture or political views so there is not much international news available. I have never had to live on my own, buy groceries or deal with various authorities in UK. I will have to start from scratch with everything without much money to go on. BUT, despite all this I long to be there and have done so for many years. Maybe I will return
and miss all that I like about the US (and there is lots) but I want to try it.


After 26 years in the US, I am ready for this new adventure. Doesn't bother me at all that I might not relate to current events, etc - I don't here either, as I tend to live in my own little fantasy world anyway I am a foreigner over here, so won't make any difference feeling a foreigner in the UK. At least my roots are there, and no matter how long I have lived (as an adult) in the US, I definitely do not think, dress or behave like an American. My soul is European, I am going home, no matter how different 'home' now looks. It's exciting..., new places to explore, new habits to be formed, new ways to do things, new routines to make, new friends to make, new foods to eat, new music to hear, new shows to watch........a new start to life! That is refreshing, rejuvenating, and learning new things at our age keeps dementia away!!! Bring it on!!!
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 8:41 pm
  #246  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Yahoo aes1, you go girl. or maybe I should say, way to go lassie

Originally Posted by aes1
else experienced this?[/QUOTE
This is something that I think about. As of this month I have been 45 years in the US and am out of touch with almost everything. I would be lost too at a lot of things people are talking about. Americans, as a rule don't have much interest in other countries culture or political views so there is not much international news available. I have never had to live on my own, buy groceries or deal with various authorities in UK. I will have to start from scratch with everything without much money to go on. BUT, despite all this I long to be there and have done so for many years. Maybe I will return
and miss all that I like about the US (and there is lots) but I want to try it.


After 26 years in the US, I am ready for this new adventure. Doesn't bother me at all that I might not relate to current events, etc - I don't here either, as I tend to live in my own little fantasy world anyway I am a foreigner over here, so won't make any difference feeling a foreigner in the UK. At least my roots are there, and no matter how long I have lived (as an adult) in the US, I definitely do not think, dress or behave like an American. My soul is European, I am going home, no matter how different 'home' now looks. It's exciting..., new places to explore, new habits to be formed, new ways to do things, new routines to make, new friends to make, new foods to eat, new music to hear, new shows to watch........a new start to life! That is refreshing, rejuvenating, and learning new things at our age keeps dementia away!!! Bring it on!!!
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 9:06 pm
  #247  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Before I married a US citizen I didnt think much about Americans or the culture. I lived in Chester and my only moan and that of my friends back then was the US visitors to Chester. Many of them where loud and seemed pushy.
After marrying my husband and moving to the US I realized that not all Americans are like those tourists. Most are busy with their lives and not at all the way I thought of them.
When I have been home I have found it a little annoying the way UK people talk about Americans they have a set idea as to what they are like. So what I have done is just keep quiet. If people ask me I tell them that Americans are no different than people in the UK. I keep away from politics and if asked I just say 'no comment'.
Moving to another country does give you a broader outlook on issues.
It won't bother me when I go home I have dealt with being different for many years. Nothing stays the same no matter where you live.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 9:07 pm
  #248  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

I forgot to ask how long does it take to become a US citizen.
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Old Sep 18th 2009, 9:14 pm
  #249  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Originally Posted by trottytrue
I forgot to ask how long does it take to become a US citizen.
Approx 6 mths after submitting the paperwork.

I used to live in Chester. I smiled to myself when I read your previous post because I remember the American tourists so well...walking around The Rows in their checked trousers. Their place was then taken over by Japanese tourists...armed with a dozen cameras around their necks.
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 4:02 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Thats right Jerseygirl some of the tourists had so many camera's wrapped around their necks you wondered how they could walk around with all that weight. I worked for the County Council so our office was in the Precinct. Very handy when you needed to do some shopping.

So I could get citizenship within 6 months. have to think about it.

A word to those who are thinking of going home. But not sure. On Saturday my wonderful daughter who is the best took me shopping it takes over half an hour to get to the shops and then they are all dotted around in different malls or strips as they call them here. You could not possibly walk from one shopping area to the next and we have no bus service.
I would have loved to have spent a little more time just window shopping but my daughter is not into that. So once we had got what we needed it was home. My point is that even with the best children your life if you decide to stay in the US or where ever you are will not be easy if you cannot drive you are dependent on others and it just does not feel right. I want to be independent and I dont want to have to wait for someone to come and get me before I can go to the shops. So I am going home quite happy with all the not so good sides of it in the end its the fact that I can be my own person again that really counts.
So my house will be smaller fine I wont have all the cleaning to do ,my garden will be smaller good I am getting too old for a large garden. My children who I love dearly have their own lives and they are busy with them its not like it used to be when people had plenty of leasure time. Weekends are spent running around doing the shopping and catching up on all the things they cant get done while they are working during the week.
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 2:04 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Fascinating thread. Tough call, to say the least, for those returning to the UK after decades away. The changes to the old place over those number of years will be enormous. Respect to all those who go down that route.

If you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 2:50 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

I thought it might be very helpful for all us middlies/oldies about to make that long swim across the ocean to learn from those already on shore in the UK again. Is there anything you would have done different to make the move/relocation easier? For instance, finding a place to live BEFORE moving, or a job, getting a credit card, renting out instead of selling a house here, scouting out more locations before settling, taking over more documents, shipping something you thought you wouldn't need, etc, etc. So this reaches out to those back in the UK, content and smug, curled up with their fish and chips - or even those still pulling their hair out, screaming WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 2:58 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Originally Posted by aes1
I thought it might be very helpful for all us middlies/oldies about to make that long swim across the ocean to learn from those already on shore in the UK again. Is there anything you would have done different to make the move/relocation easier? For instance, finding a place to live BEFORE moving, or a job, getting a credit card, renting out instead of selling a house here, scouting out more locations before settling, taking over more documents, shipping something you thought you wouldn't need, etc, etc. So this reaches out to those back in the UK, content and smug, curled up with their fish and chips - or even those still pulling their hair out, screaming WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!
If you use the search facility located at the top of the page...go to Advanced Search and search this forum for banks/credit cards/renting a house etc you should find loads of info from people who have returned home.
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 4:42 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Well just over 3 days left before I leave, doing all the little things that I think need to be done. I had nice surprise this afternoon a cousin from my dads side of the family contacted me through e-mail. Now I feel that I truly do have a connection to home.

It is strange to drive down a road that you have driven a thousand times and realize that next week you will be thousands of miles away from that road.
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Old Sep 21st 2009, 4:47 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.

Originally Posted by Easterndawn
Well just over 3 days left before I leave, doing all the little things that I think need to be done. I had nice surprise this afternoon a cousin from my dads side of the family contacted me through e-mail. Now I feel that I truly do have a connection to home.

It is strange to drive down a road that you have driven a thousand times and realize that next week you will be thousands of miles away from that road.
How exciting for you...all the best settling into life in the UK. If you get a chance when you are settled please post back and let us know how you are getting on.

Good luck.
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