Does it ever stop aching?

Old Nov 26th 2004, 7:25 pm
  #46  
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

If it’s any comfort and helps you feel that any move anywhere is only a decision away. We are heading back to England in a couple of months. Not because we don’t like it in NZ, we love it, but we also love England & Europe.

I am sure I have said this on here many times, but we never left the UK because we didn’t like it. We loved it. We just fancied a change and the job market was very bad a few years ago, so here we are.

It was only the intention to stay a year or so, but we liked it here so brought a nice house and got on with things. Also, had another child whilst here!

Anyway, we are going to rent our house in NZ, I also own property in the UK (I won’t move back into it though, as it is quite nicely managed and taking care of itself). Very good thing to do in my opinion. Good to lock yourself into the property market there, as you never know what the future holds. Which holds true for NZ too for us…

Both countries are amazing for extremely different reasons…

Anyway, we are planning to be back in NZ, the end of next year. At that time we will see if we need to stay somewhere for a while for the children, but don’t know where that will be. Probably the UK for family or the US as the wife is American, but who knows.

We have PR here and meet the criteria for Indefinite Return visa’s so, we have our options open. That’s why I made the suggestion I did on my last post.

Sure the logistics are a pain moving around, but the benefits for us are the variety of life and isn’t that worth it? Clichés aren’t clichés for no reason and life really is too short…

To sum up. Keep a nice sum of cash handy always to help you ride transition, and never burn a bridge of opportunity…

I hope your perspective changes and you can go with the flow a little more….
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Old Nov 26th 2004, 9:23 pm
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Hi TraceyW. Reading your message was like reading my own feelings since coming to oz. We arrived here 21/2 years ago, and new straight away that we would never settle here. But, we brought into the big house/pool/4x4 car and all the usual material crap that we think is what makes us happy. What we now have learnt is that family and real friends are what count in our lifes. We have had some great times and learnt so much since coming, i am going home a fully qualified Kahuna massage therapist, a Reiki healer and much more. I have home schooled my son, which i know i would never have done in the UK, but the education here is shall i say crap!! so i have spent some lovely quality time with him, my husband is now a fully qualified yoga teacher and also a Kahuna therapist. So stepping outside our comfort zone opened up a whole new experience for us. We are taking this all back with us and intend to lead a different way when back in the UK. We will be home for xmas and it feels fantastic.

All i can say to you is listen to your heart not your head, i know its early days but try and see what you can get from this experience, there's nothing wrong with wanting to go home, at first my husband didn't want to go, but now he can't wait to get on the plane. My son also, he has made heaps of friends here but he misses his close family and thats what counts... Good luck and journey on.. Angie

Originally Posted by TraceyW
Well, we've been here in Perth for five months now, and my husband has settled in wonderfully. He had no problems finding a job in the same field as he was in in the UK, the pay is not as good but it's what we expected. Our children seem to be fine, they're only 5 & 3, so it's all a bit of an adventure for them really. Apart from the occasional "I miss Granny & Grandad" they don't really seem to talk about the UK at all. They have lot's of new mates too.

We are renting a lovely home in the Northern suburbs,we have two very nice cars, we have bought a block of land and chosen the house to be built on it.
I've made lot's of new aquaintances ( I say that as it takes a long time to class someone as a friend) and get out more than I ever did at home. We spend weekends as a family and go out to the park or the beach lot's, although I'm sure this will become monotonous over time. The weather is so much better and the skies are brilliant blue, as is the ocean. Our finances, once the house is built, will be so much better than they were in the UK, we will actually have spare money left over at the end of the month...amazing! All of the things we emigrated for, we have either achieved or will achieve.

So, with all of the above taken into consideration, why the hell do all I think about and long for, is home? Everyday I wake up with an ache in my stomach, a longing to be back in my old house, surrounded by my family, my friends and all of the things that meant so much to me. Why do I fantasize about the lovely countryside that was just down the road from us, those wonderful green fields, the hills, the hay-bails, the hedgerows full of wildlife, the kind that isn't out to kill you! I miss the architecture, the culture and history? I've suddenly realised, that my home town where I grew up and spent most of my years, has more history in it's High Street! (Aboriginal history excluded) I just took it for granted. I feel sick to my stomach by the thought that I will spend this christmas away from people who actually give a damn about me and my family.

All of a sudden I want cold, frosty weather...oh to wake up after a harsh frost, to throw back the curtains of my bloody UPSTAIRS bedroom and see the white glistening in the sunshine. To get all excited about christmas shopping in the cold, dark afternoons, to get home and put the tree lights on and snuggle up in front of the fire to watch to decent programmes instead of CSI Miami or Law & Order! I have come to the conclusion, that much more of these programes and I will actually be able to commit the perfect crime...I'd never get caught, I'm nearly an expert now!

I never thought I would actually say this...but I miss planning and having my fortnights holiday in Greece or Spain! Oh god, that's one heck of an admission I know, but it's so true! I miss being able to sit in a taverna, in a cobbled street surrounded by old white washed houses and drink cold beer out of a jug! We did say, when we were in the UK, that we would come back to the UK for holidays and pop into Spain/Greece or wherever took our fancy! What the hell were we thinking! There is no way we could ever afford to do that! We can't even afford to just pop over to the east coast! It's not until you get here and realise just how expensive it really is, do the maths and come to the conclusion that we're stuck here....in suburban hell. We spent nearly 2 years researching this, we thought we knew most things, we thought we were well prepared for any eventuality....what b*****ks! No amount of research can prepare you emotionally for the pain a move like this will cause.

On one hand, I could kick myself really hard, for doing this emigrating lark! If only I'd kept my big mouth shut when my hubby suggested it, if only I'd looked around me and took stock, appreciated it all a little more, instead of craving the adventure, of wanting to make a difference to my life. Then, on the other hand, if we do go back to the UK, I will not regret taking the chance of coming over here and giving it a go. It will make me look through different eyes at what the UK has to offer.

The hardest thing will be, for me, 'making' my husband go home. He is so happy here, but he would never make me stay if I wasn't happy, he would be willing to go back, just to make me happy. I will just feel so awful by making him give up his dream. I know this is still early days for me, it's only been 5 months, but these feelings haven't changed, I've felt like this since we got here. I wish I could be one of those people that land, get off the plane and feel that they've found their little piece of heaven! It's just not clicked for me at all. I find Australia beautiful, but bland and characterless. It has no depth, no soul. If it's beaches and barbis that float your boat, then this is the right place for you, but after five months of it, it get's a little dull!

We will have to wait until the house is built, then make the decision. I think I will go home for a holiday first, just to see how I really feel about the place, it may put things into perspective a little either way.

I just wondered, is there anyone out there, who feel or ever felt like this? Is this just early days homesickness? will it fade and get better? Did it ever start to click for you, it just took a lot longer for some than for others?

I feel so damn lost.
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Old Nov 27th 2004, 9:14 pm
  #48  
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Unhappy Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Originally Posted by scottish
Tracey, if it helps there are alot of us out here whether it be OZ or NZ who feel "lost".... only you can decide how long you can give it before you know once and for that returning to the UK is the right decision for you and yours.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

For what its worth we have felt the way you do since the first few weeks but there were times when we thought we have to make this work and there no going back... now 10 months on we have decided to go home and have booked and paid for our flights. The feeling that we have inside is wonderful and is the best feeling in the world. Some folk love their new life and others dont, thats the way of the world.

I was speaking to a lovely old man at work today who told me that he longs to go home to Scotland but cant afford to and told me to get out of NZ before we get trapped. He has been here for 40 years and has never felt at home. He went back to Scotland for a holiday paid for by his family last year and said the minute he arrived into Scotland he felt at home!!

Good luck
Trapped-.... and thats the stage I am at now after only ten years in the us, it does happen. My roots are so deep, its soo difficult to move back home. I have the car, apartment (rental) tons of furniture and belongings and a cat. I have just got so used to the life here, that moving back to the uk I will feel like a foreigner. Deep down though, i think the best thing for me is to move to the uk
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Old Nov 27th 2004, 11:10 pm
  #49  
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Originally Posted by SDER
Trapped-.... and thats the stage I am at now after only ten years in the us, it does happen. My roots are so deep, its soo difficult to move back home. I have the car, apartment (rental) tons of furniture and belongings and a cat. I have just got so used to the life here, that moving back to the uk I will feel like a foreigner. Deep down though, i think the best thing for me is to move to the uk

Thats how my life went for year after year. I almost gave in and thought I would just always be here in the US. That England was just a pleasant distant memory, and I would just have to live with the ache in my heart. Then it all started falling in to place and it became evident that it just could happen. It's going to be very hard but we are doing it one step at a time. Yes, I will probably feel like a foreigner too, to some degree. But time will remedy that. If after all these years time has not softened the ache, than I know its where I belong.
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Old Nov 28th 2004, 3:00 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Originally Posted by TraceyW
Thank you so much for all of the wonderful replies I've had both on here and private messages. I didn't realise that there were so many unhappy folk out here!

Jeremy, in answer to your statement about being 100% committed to the emigration process, I can assure you we were 110% up for this move. We really wanted this, we worked so hard for it, this was our dream. But this dream is having a bit of an Elm Street effect on me I'm afraid! It is completely impossible to prepare yourself emotionally for the trauma that emigration causes both to yourself and to those people around you that you care about. I will never, ever be able to come terms with the fact that I am 12,000 miles away from my family, that I cannot simply just hop on a plane and pop home, it's just not feasible. For example, a few weeks ago a very special family member died and I have never felt so useless or inadequate in my whole life when all I wanted to do was to put my arms around my mother-in-law and comfort her, but I couldn't could I? I was here, she was there. Simple.

I also feel I have finally realised that grandparents are an incredibly important part of any childs life. I never had any, they'd long gone by the time I was born, so I'd never been privvy to that special relationship that goes on between Granny and grandchild. Then I had my children, they soon became the focus of both our parents lives, they were totally adored and doted upon. And what did we do? We took them away, to live at the other side of the world, convinced that we were doing the best thing for all of us and that a telephone would take the place of cuddles and chatter face to face. We were so wrong.

I am incredibly disappointed that this is not working out the way we'd planned. I feel more than disappointment for the sake of my husband, he is happy here and he desperately wants to stay forever. The last person on this earth I would want to hurt is him. I knew I would get homesick, but this is more than that. This is a feeling of not belonging, that none of this is right. Do you understand? I know some will say that 5 months is no time at all to make a judgement and I quite agree. Therefore we will stay and complete the house build, that will take another year, I will do my upmost to put on a brave face, to not whinge and to try to make the experience of being here a happy one, for the sake of my husband and the kids. I fully expect to get to the end of that 12 months and still want to return to the UK. I just know in my heart, that I prefer the company of my family and friends, than the knowledge that I live in a big house and the beach is just down the road.

There are people that can put up with this, knowing that they are in the wrong place, that they shouldn't be here, living with the feelings of homesickness, they just suppress those feelings, bury them somehow, and get on with their lives. I know a lady who's been out here, in Perth, for 25 years. She told me on our first meeting that she still felt homesick and that she had to go home every year, on her own because they couldn't afford for all of the family to go, but she needed her 'fix' of her family and the UK. I dread the thought of ever getting to that stage.

Thank you all once again for the kind words and opinions, they are all very valid.

I shall now take my little ones to Go Bananas ...again...let them run riot, smile and be happy!! After all......I'm Living The Dream...aren't I?
Hi Tracey, here's another one who knows exactly how you're feeling. Yep, we're "living the dream too............
We've been here nearly two years now, and no, I don't think we'll ever settle or fit in, I don't think we really want to deep down. I'm not a "Stepford wife" I'm not keen on scrapbooking, embroidery, quiltwork or even Barbie's that much! I don't get my nails, hair done every week, go to the gym, get a "Brazillian" or even my legs waxed on a regular basis! My husband's not a "Stepford husband" either (thank god!) He's not that keen on golf, fishing, drinking stubbies in garden sheds or even surfing, so sometimes even I wonder why we came here......
Maybe it was because we thought Australia would offer us, as a family, a better quality of life than the U.K did.
It doesn't.
It has given us the opportunity to have more (material) "stuff" but certainly not a better LIFE.
The things that REALLY matter to us, we had for free in the U.K, we just never realised it untill we came here.............
For that, I will always be grateful to Australia.
Yes, we would eventually learn to fit in, the children would grow up not missing their Grandparents, or anything else any more, because eventually they would forget that they even existed. How sad would that be?
Hopefully, we will go "home" sometime.
If it doesn't feel like home, then it isn't.
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Old Nov 28th 2004, 8:35 pm
  #51  
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Ahhhh Tracey, I know how you feel, I went through exactly the same and there are so many of us that do. It happens. Sometimes the feelings go away and you're able to settle into life in Pert/OZ, I wasn't one if thoses though and we came back.

Six months back here has flown by and with no regrets at all.

In your case time will tell, it doesn't depend on how strong you are, how committed or willing to give it a longer try, you either want to live there or you don't, simple as that and don't let anyone who hasn't tried living there tell you any different.
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Old Nov 29th 2004, 10:32 pm
  #52  
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

The first year is always the most difficult. I have to admit, I hated the UK for the first 12 months or so, but I now feel very settled and comfortable. I actually really like it here...

-Becs
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Old Nov 30th 2004, 10:54 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

I've recently returned to the UK after 8 years in NZ, I felt exactly the same but the feeling dimishes over time, when you have put down some roots in the new country and have some common, shared ground with other people there. When I finally got back here - which I could n't wait to do, guess what? I felt homesick for NZ! So I would say just keep going, be grateful that the rest of your family are happy and maybe get a bit involved - help out at the school or get on one of those endless community committees they have there. It's a horrible feeling, that wanting to see a church spire etc, I only know for sure that a) the grass is definitely greener and b) if you stick it out it really is an enriching experience to be part of 2 cultures. Good luck


Originally Posted by TraceyW
Well, we've been here in Perth for five months now, and my husband has settled in wonderfully. He had no problems finding a job in the same field as he was in in the UK, the pay is not as good but it's what we expected. Our children seem to be fine, they're only 5 & 3, so it's all a bit of an adventure for them really. Apart from the occasional "I miss Granny & Grandad" they don't really seem to talk about the UK at all. They have lot's of new mates too.

We are renting a lovely home in the Northern suburbs,we have two very nice cars, we have bought a block of land and chosen the house to be built on it.
I've made lot's of new aquaintances ( I say that as it takes a long time to class someone as a friend) and get out more than I ever did at home. We spend weekends as a family and go out to the park or the beach lot's, although I'm sure this will become monotonous over time. The weather is so much better and the skies are brilliant blue, as is the ocean. Our finances, once the house is built, will be so much better than they were in the UK, we will actually have spare money left over at the end of the month...amazing! All of the things we emigrated for, we have either achieved or will achieve.

So, with all of the above taken into consideration, why the hell do all I think about and long for, is home? Everyday I wake up with an ache in my stomach, a longing to be back in my old house, surrounded by my family, my friends and all of the things that meant so much to me. Why do I fantasize about the lovely countryside that was just down the road from us, those wonderful green fields, the hills, the hay-bails, the hedgerows full of wildlife, the kind that isn't out to kill you! I miss the architecture, the culture and history? I've suddenly realised, that my home town where I grew up and spent most of my years, has more history in it's High Street! (Aboriginal history excluded) I just took it for granted. I feel sick to my stomach by the thought that I will spend this christmas away from people who actually give a damn about me and my family.

All of a sudden I want cold, frosty weather...oh to wake up after a harsh frost, to throw back the curtains of my bloody UPSTAIRS bedroom and see the white glistening in the sunshine. To get all excited about christmas shopping in the cold, dark afternoons, to get home and put the tree lights on and snuggle up in front of the fire to watch to decent programmes instead of CSI Miami or Law & Order! I have come to the conclusion, that much more of these programes and I will actually be able to commit the perfect crime...I'd never get caught, I'm nearly an expert now!

I never thought I would actually say this...but I miss planning and having my fortnights holiday in Greece or Spain! Oh god, that's one heck of an admission I know, but it's so true! I miss being able to sit in a taverna, in a cobbled street surrounded by old white washed houses and drink cold beer out of a jug! We did say, when we were in the UK, that we would come back to the UK for holidays and pop into Spain/Greece or wherever took our fancy! What the hell were we thinking! There is no way we could ever afford to do that! We can't even afford to just pop over to the east coast! It's not until you get here and realise just how expensive it really is, do the maths and come to the conclusion that we're stuck here....in suburban hell. We spent nearly 2 years researching this, we thought we knew most things, we thought we were well prepared for any eventuality....what b*****ks! No amount of research can prepare you emotionally for the pain a move like this will cause.

On one hand, I could kick myself really hard, for doing this emigrating lark! If only I'd kept my big mouth shut when my hubby suggested it, if only I'd looked around me and took stock, appreciated it all a little more, instead of craving the adventure, of wanting to make a difference to my life. Then, on the other hand, if we do go back to the UK, I will not regret taking the chance of coming over here and giving it a go. It will make me look through different eyes at what the UK has to offer.

The hardest thing will be, for me, 'making' my husband go home. He is so happy here, but he would never make me stay if I wasn't happy, he would be willing to go back, just to make me happy. I will just feel so awful by making him give up his dream. I know this is still early days for me, it's only been 5 months, but these feelings haven't changed, I've felt like this since we got here. I wish I could be one of those people that land, get off the plane and feel that they've found their little piece of heaven! It's just not clicked for me at all. I find Australia beautiful, but bland and characterless. It has no depth, no soul. If it's beaches and barbis that float your boat, then this is the right place for you, but after five months of it, it get's a little dull!

We will have to wait until the house is built, then make the decision. I think I will go home for a holiday first, just to see how I really feel about the place, it may put things into perspective a little either way.

I just wondered, is there anyone out there, who feel or ever felt like this? Is this just early days homesickness? will it fade and get better? Did it ever start to click for you, it just took a lot longer for some than for others?

I feel so damn lost.
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Old Dec 3rd 2004, 12:15 pm
  #54  
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I have been kidding myself for years that suddenly everything will become homely and perfect for me, but it hasn't. I have been here for 18 years, (I was a reluctant child of emigrants, dragged out here at age 14). I've been back a couple of times, and after the last visit 7 years ago I decided to return to the UK despite my family being in Australia. Upon returning to Australia to pack up my stuff... I met my husband! We have been married nearly 3 years and we have a baby girl, and I can't believe I'm still here!

We both hope to go back to the UK, as my husband has never been there but he is very happy with the idea of a permanent move to England. Life here feels shallow for me, I know many ppl come here and love it, but I guess I never had a choice. Due to the emigration my family thought it best that I finish school at 14, so on top of cultural differences everyone I know has a degree except me, plus my family are working class and the ppl I know are definitely not! I'd never been out to dinner before, I feel so awkward in those situations, or when wine clubs come up in conversation, I don't even drink wine and know nothing about it. Plus I find it hard to really talk to aussies, everything is very light, nothing in depth or emotional is really ever talked about. There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

Life here has been very lonely for me, when I am in the UK I feel NORMAL, I can chat to people, ppl seem friendlier, and most of all, I feel I belong! I envy all of you buying your ticket to go home, how I wish I was.

I miss English people, you know, all the chat, I just miss home :*(
 
Old Dec 3rd 2004, 12:32 pm
  #55  
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Originally Posted by honeybun
I have been kidding myself for years that suddenly everything will become homely and perfect for me, but it hasn't. I have been here for 18 years, (I was a reluctant child of emigrants, dragged out here at age 14). I've been back a couple of times, and after the last visit 7 years ago I decided to return to the UK despite my family being in Australia. Upon returning to Australia to pack up my stuff... I met my husband! We have been married nearly 3 years and we have a baby girl, and I can't believe I'm still here!

We both hope to go back to the UK, as my husband has never been there but he is very happy with the idea of a permanent move to England. Life here feels shallow for me, I know many ppl come here and love it, but I guess I never had a choice. Due to the emigration my family thought it best that I finish school at 14, so on top of cultural differences everyone I know has a degree except me, plus my family are working class and the ppl I know are definitely not! I'd never been out to dinner before, I feel so awkward in those situations, or when wine clubs come up in conversation, I don't even drink wine and know nothing about it. Plus I find it hard to really talk to aussies, everything is very light, nothing in depth or emotional is really ever talked about. There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

Life here has been very lonely for me, when I am in the UK I feel NORMAL, I can chat to people, ppl seem friendlier, and most of all, I feel I belong! I envy all of you buying your ticket to go home, how I wish I was.

I miss English people, you know, all the chat, I just miss home :*(

A great big hug from me.

You are an incredible lady and you certainly dont need to do the above or any activities to fit in.

You are bringing up your baby, taking care of your husband, and all the sports/activities in the world cant train you for that.

Your heart belongs in the UK and your husband is supportive, so you will get there.

As for friends, you have friends on this site to chat to and there is always someone who is a good listener.

Please dont put yourself down, although I dont have kids, I know that the most important thing you can do in your life is to be a good mum.

Your husband loves you, your baby loves you and you will get back to the place you want to be.

PM me anytime if you want a gossip or to catch up on UK stuff.

Love Samantha
 
Old Dec 3rd 2004, 3:39 pm
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

dear honeybun
I do feel for you and I know what you mean about feeling 'normal', but don't do what i did and wish you life there away, make the most of it while you are there 'cos there are things that you will miss when you get back to the UK and it will be quite hard. maybe tell yourself you'll be coming back and try and dig out some good things while you're there - maybe even a correspondence course in something or night classes or some aussies who miss life here? You certainly don't sound as if you should doubt your own worth as an interesting person. i found it helped a lot to think 'well i won't be here for ever so i will enjoy what i can' unfortunately i only worked that out shortly before i was coming back here and then i found i was homesick for the antipodes, which was part of me after 10 yrs. there are things that are really good when it comes to small children, so enjoy your baby in that more relaxed way and think how here, you could be putting her in some really inadequate, expensive child care place and going out to work in some really badly paid job etc! Sorry to repeat myself, but if you are thinking of coming back here it really would be sensible to go on some kind of part time course or learn a skill that could serve you in good stead here, unless your husband has a really big earning power it's no fun doing a crap job here and you need lots of money just to survive. come to think of it, you sound like you'd make a great teacher and you'd get school hols off too!

Originally Posted by honeybun
I have been kidding myself for years that suddenly everything will become homely and perfect for me, but it hasn't. I have been here for 18 years, (I was a reluctant child of emigrants, dragged out here at age 14). I've been back a couple of times, and after the last visit 7 years ago I decided to return to the UK despite my family being in Australia. Upon returning to Australia to pack up my stuff... I met my husband! We have been married nearly 3 years and we have a baby girl, and I can't believe I'm still here!

We both hope to go back to the UK, as my husband has never been there but he is very happy with the idea of a permanent move to England. Life here feels shallow for me, I know many ppl come here and love it, but I guess I never had a choice. Due to the emigration my family thought it best that I finish school at 14, so on top of cultural differences everyone I know has a degree except me, plus my family are working class and the ppl I know are definitely not! I'd never been out to dinner before, I feel so awkward in those situations, or when wine clubs come up in conversation, I don't even drink wine and know nothing about it. Plus I find it hard to really talk to aussies, everything is very light, nothing in depth or emotional is really ever talked about. There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

Life here has been very lonely for me, when I am in the UK I feel NORMAL, I can chat to people, ppl seem friendlier, and most of all, I feel I belong! I envy all of you buying your ticket to go home, how I wish I was.

I miss English people, you know, all the chat, I just miss home :*(
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Old Dec 6th 2004, 7:42 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

One of the best posts i've read in ages because it is well thought out. It's not a negative post at all - in fact very positive.

Tracey, I think you are on the right track in that you can identify the good and the bad. You're not hysterical, and you're thinking about it calmly.

5 months is too short. to really know - but don't stay years if it still isn't right.

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Old Dec 7th 2004, 1:53 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Originally Posted by honeybun
There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

(
OMG I could have written this myself ! this and many of the other things i've read so far!!...............,I can't believe it took me so long to find this thread!!, but well lets just say I've a pile of tissues and I'm gonna enjoy big puffy eyes tomorrow!
I've been away from the U.K 10 yrs in the Southern U.s for 8 of those and well i'm more homesick now than ever before..coupled with the knowledge that if i stay too much longer my kids are gonna feel like you!! torn away from their home"the U.S!!"
well , from what i've read so far it seems pretty obvious if you're not happy the first few years with your new country...you're never really gonna be

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Old Dec 7th 2004, 2:07 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Originally Posted by simoneb03
there are things that are really good when it comes to small children, so enjoy your baby in that more relaxed way and think how here, you could be putting her in some really inadequate, expensive child care place and going out to work in some really badly paid job etc!
That'sgreat advice ..if there's one thing that's made me thankful that I'm here in the U.S it's that I've had the ability to be a stay-home-mom..something that I know we would never be able to afford in the U.K but well, kids get older and before mine get too settled Iwant to return to the U.K..if I'm gonna be miserable at work..I'd rather be miserable at work in the U.K!!! lol
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Old Dec 11th 2004, 11:07 am
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Default Re: Does it ever stop aching?

Bella - would like to send a private message but can't work out how!!! I'd love to talk to you for a feature I'm doing for Family Circle Magazine about moving abroad. I've found plenty of people to talk about the good bits, but no one brave enough to talk about the bad bits. Would you please drop me an email ([email protected]) if you'd be willing to take part?
Thanks so much, Tammy
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