Originally Posted by TraceyW

Hi chaps, it's me, the one who started all this lot!

Just thought I'd pop a quick post up to say that after eight months in....I still feel the same! I'm getting a bit fed up with it now, I wish I could just wake up one morning and it would all be crystal clear where my future lies.

I have to say that Michaela has hit the nail on the head with her comment. It is worse making the decision to go home, there are so many more doubts about moving back to the UK, especially for my hubby who still loves it here.

It's not that I haven't been trying to throw myself into the lifestyle. I've got some lovely mates, we have a fabulous social life (although barbis still get tedious!) I've even got myself into uni and I'm taking a BA in teaching. So I've tried to get off my butt and make a life for myself....but it still isn't working!

We even took a trip over east to Melbourne and Sydney to see what life was like over there. We met up with the lovely Badge and Mrs B, who are fab folks, they showed us around their neck of the woods...absolutely gorgeous, rural and beautiful and my kind of place. My hubby reckons that he needs warmer climates and beaches closer by! I reckon he just believes that Perth is for him and no other place will do.

We have had a weekend full of discussions and have finally agreed that I will get my degree (hopefully!) which will take a few more years yet, that way we will be able to get citizenship. I will also take a few trips home with the kids to make sure England is the place I really want to be and if it is...we go home!!

So, for the next 4 years I will be serving my sentance....doing my time.....I will try to keep focused, still try to love it ( ) and hope that one day something clicks!

Until that time I'll just pop another dozen valium/prozac/horsetablets...anything else that keeps me sane!

Good luck to anyone else out there who feels "the ache" I truly understand where you're coming from and I sympathise with you completely. I hope you too find your way of coping and sorting your own situations out....good luck.

Originally Posted by TraceyW

Well, we've been here in Perth for five months now, and my husband has settled in wonderfully. He had no problems finding a job in the same field as he was in in the UK, the pay is not as good but it's what we expected. Our children seem to be fine, they're only 5 & 3, so it's all a bit of an adventure for them really. Apart from the occasional "I miss Granny & Grandad" they don't really seem to talk about the UK at all. They have lot's of new mates too.

We are renting a lovely home in the Northern suburbs,we have two very nice cars, we have bought a block of land and chosen the house to be built on it.
I've made lot's of new aquaintances ( I say that as it takes a long time to class someone as a friend) and get out more than I ever did at home. We spend weekends as a family and go out to the park or the beach lot's, although I'm sure this will become monotonous over time. The weather is so much better and the skies are brilliant blue, as is the ocean. Our finances, once the house is built, will be so much better than they were in the UK, we will actually have spare money left over at the end of the month...amazing! All of the things we emigrated for, we have either achieved or will achieve.

So, with all of the above taken into consideration, why the hell do all I think about and long for, is home? Everyday I wake up with an ache in my stomach, a longing to be back in my old house, surrounded by my family, my friends and all of the things that meant so much to me. Why do I fantasize about the lovely countryside that was just down the road from us, those wonderful green fields, the hills, the hay-bails, the hedgerows full of wildlife, the kind that isn't out to kill you! I miss the architecture, the culture and history? I've suddenly realised, that my home town where I grew up and spent most of my years, has more history in it's High Street! (Aboriginal history excluded) I just took it for granted. I feel sick to my stomach by the thought that I will spend this christmas away from people who actually give a damn about me and my family.

All of a sudden I want cold, frosty weather...oh to wake up after a harsh frost, to throw back the curtains of my bloody UPSTAIRS bedroom and see the white glistening in the sunshine. To get all excited about christmas shopping in the cold, dark afternoons, to get home and put the tree lights on and snuggle up in front of the fire to watch to decent programmes instead of CSI Miami or Law & Order! I have come to the conclusion, that much more of these programes and I will actually be able to commit the perfect crime...I'd never get caught, I'm nearly an expert now!

I never thought I would actually say this...but I miss planning and having my fortnights holiday in Greece or Spain! Oh god, that's one heck of an admission I know, but it's so true! I miss being able to sit in a taverna, in a cobbled street surrounded by old white washed houses and drink cold beer out of a jug! We did say, when we were in the UK, that we would come back to the UK for holidays and pop into Spain/Greece or wherever took our fancy! What the hell were we thinking! There is no way we could ever afford to do that! We can't even afford to just pop over to the east coast! It's not until you get here and realise just how expensive it really is, do the maths and come to the conclusion that we're stuck here....in suburban hell. We spent nearly 2 years researching this, we thought we knew most things, we thought we were well prepared for any eventuality....what b*****ks! No amount of research can prepare you emotionally for the pain a move like this will cause.

On one hand, I could kick myself really hard, for doing this emigrating lark! If only I'd kept my big mouth shut when my hubby suggested it, if only I'd looked around me and took stock, appreciated it all a little more, instead of craving the adventure, of wanting to make a difference to my life. Then, on the other hand, if we do go back to the UK, I will not regret taking the chance of coming over here and giving it a go. It will make me look through different eyes at what the UK has to offer.

The hardest thing will be, for me, 'making' my husband go home. He is so happy here, but he would never make me stay if I wasn't happy, he would be willing to go back, just to make me happy. I will just feel so awful by making him give up his dream. I know this is still early days for me, it's only been 5 months, but these feelings haven't changed, I've felt like this since we got here. I wish I could be one of those people that land, get off the plane and feel that they've found their little piece of heaven! It's just not clicked for me at all. I find Australia beautiful, but bland and characterless. It has no depth, no soul. If it's beaches and barbis that float your boat, then this is the right place for you, but after five months of it, it get's a little dull!

We will have to wait until the house is built, then make the decision. I think I will go home for a holiday first, just to see how I really feel about the place, it may put things into perspective a little either way.

I just wondered, is there anyone out there, who feel or ever felt like this? Is this just early days homesickness? will it fade and get better? Did it ever start to click for you, it just took a lot longer for some than for others?

I feel so damn lost.

Originally Posted by Holly

We have only been here since November last year. We worked very hard to get organised and be here in Sydney .I thought I had prepared myself for everything and now it seems I helped the kids and my hubby adjust but not me. I have joined the P&C , i have volunteered at school , I have made new friends , done the BBQ's and sight seeing trips into the city.I have had coffee mornings , although no-one drinks coffee out here and I have sat and smiled thru "scrap booking" and "muffin baking". I feel I have attempted EVERYTHING i can to settle and it's just not happening.
I have tried to discuss it with my husband but he's "loving it !" and just dismisses it .Before we came out we both worked 12 hour shifts around each others shifts so 1 of us was always here with the kids , but out here my husband can't get 12 hour shifts and therefore I can't work because ne is working around the clock , ordinary shifts and "on-call ". I have suggested he goes part-time and we share the work load but he now enjoys the chauvinistic lifestyle of being the bread winner. (1st time ever)This isn't why we moved !!
So , i sit in the house with all the blinds shut , in the dark , with the AC on because it's so bloody hot out there and wonder what to do next. Not every day is like this but I can't wait to hit the 2 year mark , get my citizinship and work out what happens next. I love my husband more than anything in the world but I have the horrible feeling that unless he starts "hearing what I'm saying" , I'm going to have to make a one way trip back to the UK myself. He won'y go back for a holiday ever , so he says and reckons if I go back that I'm going to seperate us all up.I'm sorry you guys are getting all this but I have no-one else to whinge to , because I don't want anyone who knows us to feel like they have to start to take sides.
I seem to miss everything and try to be positive about Oz every day but it just takes one small thing to make me lose that and want to go home to Scotland again.
I await the onslaught of the lectures about being a whinger !
Thanks for listenening anyway.
H.

Originally Posted by TraceyW

So, for the next 4 years I will be serving my sentance....doing my time.....I will try to keep focused, still try to love it ( ) QUOTE]

I have to say I did 7 years, came to the UK 12 months ago, enjoyed the first 9 months but realised that my future lies back in Oz. Just the way it goes.

I understand completely how you feel, it is something you can't put your finger on, such a gut empty feeling, like someones has died.

I hope on our return to Oz that those homesick feelings will not be as strong as they were for me the first time round, I don't think they will be as I have grown stronger.

Best of luck
Merlot

Originally Posted by psb182

what happens if you go back ot OZ and after a couple months start missing the UK again?.......hope you find HOME

Originally Posted by Holly

We have only been here since November last year. We worked very hard to get organised and be here in Sydney .I thought I had prepared myself for everything and now it seems I helped the kids and my hubby adjust but not me. I have joined the P&C , i have volunteered at school , I have made new friends , done the BBQ's and sight seeing trips into the city.I have had coffee mornings , although no-one drinks coffee out here and I have sat and smiled thru "scrap booking" and "muffin baking". I feel I have attempted EVERYTHING i can to settle and it's just not happening.
I have tried to discuss it with my husband but he's "loving it !" and just dismisses it .Before we came out we both worked 12 hour shifts around each others shifts so 1 of us was always here with the kids , but out here my husband can't get 12 hour shifts and therefore I can't work because ne is working around the clock , ordinary shifts and "on-call ". I have suggested he goes part-time and we share the work load but he now enjoys the chauvinistic lifestyle of being the bread winner. (1st time ever)This isn't why we moved !!
So , i sit in the house with all the blinds shut , in the dark , with the AC on because it's so bloody hot out there and wonder what to do next. Not every day is like this but I can't wait to hit the 2 year mark , get my citizinship and work out what happens next. I love my husband more than anything in the world but I have the horrible feeling that unless he starts "hearing what I'm saying" , I'm going to have to make a one way trip back to the UK myself. He won'y go back for a holiday ever , so he says and reckons if I go back that I'm going to seperate us all up.I'm sorry you guys are getting all this but I have no-one else to whinge to , because I don't want anyone who knows us to feel like they have to start to take sides.
I seem to miss everything and try to be positive about Oz every day but it just takes one small thing to make me lose that and want to go home to Scotland again.
I await the onslaught of the lectures about being a whinger !
Thanks for listenening anyway.
H.

Originally Posted by simoneb03

YOu've got a point psb, I missed the UK in NZ, missed NZ in the UK and by the time I get back to NZ will no doubt miss the UK all over again! The only thing I've learned from it all is that if you stay somewhere long enough, you put down some roots and then miss that place when you leave as you have no recent, common experience with others. Also, my daughter, now in the UK misses NZ and the whole cycle looks like starting off again

Originally Posted by heading downunder 2002

Holly I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, I have been there, worn the t-shirt and come out the over side, you are not alone, there are many on here that know exactly how you are feeling. I too had a husband who loved it in Oz and at first I really did think that I was going to have to leave him out there. He eventually realised that I was never going to feel any different about living in Oz and he agreed that we should all return and we have never looked back.

That is my story though and for a lot who have also felt like me they have stayed and have settled, we are all different and we all want different things. You are not a whinger and those on here who usually say that about people have never ever felt these feelings and so have no right to pass comment.

My friend who has been out there 2 1/2 years now still doesnt want to be there but is because of her hubby and kids says that the way she gets by is by not thinking too far ahead taking each day at a time and by trying to forget that she is on the other side of the world.

The heat problem will get better once winter approaches and the temperature drops, perhaps then you will feel happier.

Chin up Holly and keep in touch, we are here if you want a good moan


Susan

Originally Posted by Rosie n family

Hi Holly

This is such a sad post. Why dont you come to one of the Sydney Meets, Im going to the next one on 2nd april. Look at the Australia bit and Soapy has posted 'New Sydney Meet" in the last couple of days..There's quite a few nurses - from Scotland and we usually have a bit of a giggle. I know its awkward turning up, we all felt the same - but now we feel we've made some good friends. In fact they're the hardest part about leaving Oz for the UK.

Originally Posted by Holly

Thanks Susan.
It's good to know that I'm not the only one who is or has gone thru' this.
My husband is a good man , I love him very much and I really want this Australia move to work but it is breaking my heart every day. I honestly still believe that when push comes to shove ,if I really can't settle here after at least 2 years then he really would make me leave the country without him AND give me a fight for the kids.
This is the side that no-one usually discusses and it makes it very hard to talk about.
Thanks for your support.
All the best,
Holly.

If it's not too cheeky to ask where abouts in the UK are you ?

Originally Posted by heading downunder 2002

Hi Holly,

Arriving in Oz was fantastic and at first (the holiday period) we loved it then it was like being hit by a train and for me the reality of what we had done hit, I never for one minute thought that I would feel like this, after all I had been the main driving force for us going, I had convinced myself that it was what I had always wanted and what a good life we could have and we were only a days flight away etc etc but I came down to earth with a very big bump this wasn't what I wanted at all,and the rest is history.

Susan