Originally Posted by TraceyW

Well, we've been here in Perth for five months now, and my husband has settled in wonderfully. He had no problems finding a job in the same field as he was in in the UK, the pay is not as good but it's what we expected. Our children seem to be fine, they're only 5 & 3, so it's all a bit of an adventure for them really. Apart from the occasional "I miss Granny & Grandad" they don't really seem to talk about the UK at all. They have lot's of new mates too.

We are renting a lovely home in the Northern suburbs,we have two very nice cars, we have bought a block of land and chosen the house to be built on it.
I've made lot's of new aquaintances ( I say that as it takes a long time to class someone as a friend) and get out more than I ever did at home. We spend weekends as a family and go out to the park or the beach lot's, although I'm sure this will become monotonous over time. The weather is so much better and the skies are brilliant blue, as is the ocean. Our finances, once the house is built, will be so much better than they were in the UK, we will actually have spare money left over at the end of the month...amazing! All of the things we emigrated for, we have either achieved or will achieve.

So, with all of the above taken into consideration, why the hell do all I think about and long for, is home? Everyday I wake up with an ache in my stomach, a longing to be back in my old house, surrounded by my family, my friends and all of the things that meant so much to me. Why do I fantasize about the lovely countryside that was just down the road from us, those wonderful green fields, the hills, the hay-bails, the hedgerows full of wildlife, the kind that isn't out to kill you! I miss the architecture, the culture and history? I've suddenly realised, that my home town where I grew up and spent most of my years, has more history in it's High Street! (Aboriginal history excluded) I just took it for granted. I feel sick to my stomach by the thought that I will spend this christmas away from people who actually give a damn about me and my family.

All of a sudden I want cold, frosty weather...oh to wake up after a harsh frost, to throw back the curtains of my bloody UPSTAIRS bedroom and see the white glistening in the sunshine. To get all excited about christmas shopping in the cold, dark afternoons, to get home and put the tree lights on and snuggle up in front of the fire to watch to decent programmes instead of CSI Miami or Law & Order! I have come to the conclusion, that much more of these programes and I will actually be able to commit the perfect crime...I'd never get caught, I'm nearly an expert now!

I never thought I would actually say this...but I miss planning and having my fortnights holiday in Greece or Spain! Oh god, that's one heck of an admission I know, but it's so true! I miss being able to sit in a taverna, in a cobbled street surrounded by old white washed houses and drink cold beer out of a jug! We did say, when we were in the UK, that we would come back to the UK for holidays and pop into Spain/Greece or wherever took our fancy! What the hell were we thinking! There is no way we could ever afford to do that! We can't even afford to just pop over to the east coast! It's not until you get here and realise just how expensive it really is, do the maths and come to the conclusion that we're stuck here....in suburban hell. We spent nearly 2 years researching this, we thought we knew most things, we thought we were well prepared for any eventuality....what b*****ks! No amount of research can prepare you emotionally for the pain a move like this will cause.

On one hand, I could kick myself really hard, for doing this emigrating lark! If only I'd kept my big mouth shut when my hubby suggested it, if only I'd looked around me and took stock, appreciated it all a little more, instead of craving the adventure, of wanting to make a difference to my life. Then, on the other hand, if we do go back to the UK, I will not regret taking the chance of coming over here and giving it a go. It will make me look through different eyes at what the UK has to offer.

The hardest thing will be, for me, 'making' my husband go home. He is so happy here, but he would never make me stay if I wasn't happy, he would be willing to go back, just to make me happy. I will just feel so awful by making him give up his dream. I know this is still early days for me, it's only been 5 months, but these feelings haven't changed, I've felt like this since we got here. I wish I could be one of those people that land, get off the plane and feel that they've found their little piece of heaven! It's just not clicked for me at all. I find Australia beautiful, but bland and characterless. It has no depth, no soul. If it's beaches and barbis that float your boat, then this is the right place for you, but after five months of it, it get's a little dull!

We will have to wait until the house is built, then make the decision. I think I will go home for a holiday first, just to see how I really feel about the place, it may put things into perspective a little either way.

I just wondered, is there anyone out there, who feel or ever felt like this? Is this just early days homesickness? will it fade and get better? Did it ever start to click for you, it just took a lot longer for some than for others?

I feel so damn lost.

Originally Posted by scottish

Tracey, if it helps there are alot of us out here whether it be OZ or NZ who feel "lost".... only you can decide how long you can give it before you know once and for that returning to the UK is the right decision for you and yours.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

For what its worth we have felt the way you do since the first few weeks but there were times when we thought we have to make this work and there no going back... now 10 months on we have decided to go home and have booked and paid for our flights. The feeling that we have inside is wonderful and is the best feeling in the world. Some folk love their new life and others dont, thats the way of the world.

I was speaking to a lovely old man at work today who told me that he longs to go home to Scotland but cant afford to and told me to get out of NZ before we get trapped. He has been here for 40 years and has never felt at home. He went back to Scotland for a holiday paid for by his family last year and said the minute he arrived into Scotland he felt at home!!

Good luck

Originally Posted by SDER

Trapped-.... and thats the stage I am at now after only ten years in the us, it does happen. My roots are so deep, its soo difficult to move back home. I have the car, apartment (rental) tons of furniture and belongings and a cat. I have just got so used to the life here, that moving back to the uk I will feel like a foreigner. Deep down though, i think the best thing for me is to move to the uk

Originally Posted by TraceyW

Thank you so much for all of the wonderful replies I've had both on here and private messages. I didn't realise that there were so many unhappy folk out here!

Jeremy, in answer to your statement about being 100% committed to the emigration process, I can assure you we were 110% up for this move. We really wanted this, we worked so hard for it, this was our dream. But this dream is having a bit of an Elm Street effect on me I'm afraid! It is completely impossible to prepare yourself emotionally for the trauma that emigration causes both to yourself and to those people around you that you care about. I will never, ever be able to come terms with the fact that I am 12,000 miles away from my family, that I cannot simply just hop on a plane and pop home, it's just not feasible. For example, a few weeks ago a very special family member died and I have never felt so useless or inadequate in my whole life when all I wanted to do was to put my arms around my mother-in-law and comfort her, but I couldn't could I? I was here, she was there. Simple.

I also feel I have finally realised that grandparents are an incredibly important part of any childs life. I never had any, they'd long gone by the time I was born, so I'd never been privvy to that special relationship that goes on between Granny and grandchild. Then I had my children, they soon became the focus of both our parents lives, they were totally adored and doted upon. And what did we do? We took them away, to live at the other side of the world, convinced that we were doing the best thing for all of us and that a telephone would take the place of cuddles and chatter face to face. We were so wrong.

I am incredibly disappointed that this is not working out the way we'd planned. I feel more than disappointment for the sake of my husband, he is happy here and he desperately wants to stay forever. The last person on this earth I would want to hurt is him. I knew I would get homesick, but this is more than that. This is a feeling of not belonging, that none of this is right. Do you understand? I know some will say that 5 months is no time at all to make a judgement and I quite agree. Therefore we will stay and complete the house build, that will take another year, I will do my upmost to put on a brave face, to not whinge and to try to make the experience of being here a happy one, for the sake of my husband and the kids. I fully expect to get to the end of that 12 months and still want to return to the UK. I just know in my heart, that I prefer the company of my family and friends, than the knowledge that I live in a big house and the beach is just down the road.

There are people that can put up with this, knowing that they are in the wrong place, that they shouldn't be here, living with the feelings of homesickness, they just suppress those feelings, bury them somehow, and get on with their lives. I know a lady who's been out here, in Perth, for 25 years. She told me on our first meeting that she still felt homesick and that she had to go home every year, on her own because they couldn't afford for all of the family to go, but she needed her 'fix' of her family and the UK. I dread the thought of ever getting to that stage.

Thank you all once again for the kind words and opinions, they are all very valid.

I shall now take my little ones to Go Bananas ...again...let them run riot, smile and be happy!! After all......I'm Living The Dream...aren't I?

Originally Posted by TraceyW

Well, we've been here in Perth for five months now, and my husband has settled in wonderfully. He had no problems finding a job in the same field as he was in in the UK, the pay is not as good but it's what we expected. Our children seem to be fine, they're only 5 & 3, so it's all a bit of an adventure for them really. Apart from the occasional "I miss Granny & Grandad" they don't really seem to talk about the UK at all. They have lot's of new mates too.

We are renting a lovely home in the Northern suburbs,we have two very nice cars, we have bought a block of land and chosen the house to be built on it.
I've made lot's of new aquaintances ( I say that as it takes a long time to class someone as a friend) and get out more than I ever did at home. We spend weekends as a family and go out to the park or the beach lot's, although I'm sure this will become monotonous over time. The weather is so much better and the skies are brilliant blue, as is the ocean. Our finances, once the house is built, will be so much better than they were in the UK, we will actually have spare money left over at the end of the month...amazing! All of the things we emigrated for, we have either achieved or will achieve.

So, with all of the above taken into consideration, why the hell do all I think about and long for, is home? Everyday I wake up with an ache in my stomach, a longing to be back in my old house, surrounded by my family, my friends and all of the things that meant so much to me. Why do I fantasize about the lovely countryside that was just down the road from us, those wonderful green fields, the hills, the hay-bails, the hedgerows full of wildlife, the kind that isn't out to kill you! I miss the architecture, the culture and history? I've suddenly realised, that my home town where I grew up and spent most of my years, has more history in it's High Street! (Aboriginal history excluded) I just took it for granted. I feel sick to my stomach by the thought that I will spend this christmas away from people who actually give a damn about me and my family.

All of a sudden I want cold, frosty weather...oh to wake up after a harsh frost, to throw back the curtains of my bloody UPSTAIRS bedroom and see the white glistening in the sunshine. To get all excited about christmas shopping in the cold, dark afternoons, to get home and put the tree lights on and snuggle up in front of the fire to watch to decent programmes instead of CSI Miami or Law & Order! I have come to the conclusion, that much more of these programes and I will actually be able to commit the perfect crime...I'd never get caught, I'm nearly an expert now!

I never thought I would actually say this...but I miss planning and having my fortnights holiday in Greece or Spain! Oh god, that's one heck of an admission I know, but it's so true! I miss being able to sit in a taverna, in a cobbled street surrounded by old white washed houses and drink cold beer out of a jug! We did say, when we were in the UK, that we would come back to the UK for holidays and pop into Spain/Greece or wherever took our fancy! What the hell were we thinking! There is no way we could ever afford to do that! We can't even afford to just pop over to the east coast! It's not until you get here and realise just how expensive it really is, do the maths and come to the conclusion that we're stuck here....in suburban hell. We spent nearly 2 years researching this, we thought we knew most things, we thought we were well prepared for any eventuality....what b*****ks! No amount of research can prepare you emotionally for the pain a move like this will cause.

On one hand, I could kick myself really hard, for doing this emigrating lark! If only I'd kept my big mouth shut when my hubby suggested it, if only I'd looked around me and took stock, appreciated it all a little more, instead of craving the adventure, of wanting to make a difference to my life. Then, on the other hand, if we do go back to the UK, I will not regret taking the chance of coming over here and giving it a go. It will make me look through different eyes at what the UK has to offer.

The hardest thing will be, for me, 'making' my husband go home. He is so happy here, but he would never make me stay if I wasn't happy, he would be willing to go back, just to make me happy. I will just feel so awful by making him give up his dream. I know this is still early days for me, it's only been 5 months, but these feelings haven't changed, I've felt like this since we got here. I wish I could be one of those people that land, get off the plane and feel that they've found their little piece of heaven! It's just not clicked for me at all. I find Australia beautiful, but bland and characterless. It has no depth, no soul. If it's beaches and barbis that float your boat, then this is the right place for you, but after five months of it, it get's a little dull!

We will have to wait until the house is built, then make the decision. I think I will go home for a holiday first, just to see how I really feel about the place, it may put things into perspective a little either way.

I just wondered, is there anyone out there, who feel or ever felt like this? Is this just early days homesickness? will it fade and get better? Did it ever start to click for you, it just took a lot longer for some than for others?

I feel so damn lost.

Originally Posted by honeybun

I have been kidding myself for years that suddenly everything will become homely and perfect for me, but it hasn't. I have been here for 18 years, (I was a reluctant child of emigrants, dragged out here at age 14). I've been back a couple of times, and after the last visit 7 years ago I decided to return to the UK despite my family being in Australia. Upon returning to Australia to pack up my stuff... I met my husband! We have been married nearly 3 years and we have a baby girl, and I can't believe I'm still here!

We both hope to go back to the UK, as my husband has never been there but he is very happy with the idea of a permanent move to England. Life here feels shallow for me, I know many ppl come here and love it, but I guess I never had a choice. Due to the emigration my family thought it best that I finish school at 14, so on top of cultural differences everyone I know has a degree except me, plus my family are working class and the ppl I know are definitely not! I'd never been out to dinner before, I feel so awkward in those situations, or when wine clubs come up in conversation, I don't even drink wine and know nothing about it. Plus I find it hard to really talk to aussies, everything is very light, nothing in depth or emotional is really ever talked about. There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

Life here has been very lonely for me, when I am in the UK I feel NORMAL, I can chat to people, ppl seem friendlier, and most of all, I feel I belong! I envy all of you buying your ticket to go home, how I wish I was.

I miss English people, you know, all the chat, I just miss home :*(

Originally Posted by honeybun

I have been kidding myself for years that suddenly everything will become homely and perfect for me, but it hasn't. I have been here for 18 years, (I was a reluctant child of emigrants, dragged out here at age 14). I've been back a couple of times, and after the last visit 7 years ago I decided to return to the UK despite my family being in Australia. Upon returning to Australia to pack up my stuff... I met my husband! We have been married nearly 3 years and we have a baby girl, and I can't believe I'm still here!

We both hope to go back to the UK, as my husband has never been there but he is very happy with the idea of a permanent move to England. Life here feels shallow for me, I know many ppl come here and love it, but I guess I never had a choice. Due to the emigration my family thought it best that I finish school at 14, so on top of cultural differences everyone I know has a degree except me, plus my family are working class and the ppl I know are definitely not! I'd never been out to dinner before, I feel so awkward in those situations, or when wine clubs come up in conversation, I don't even drink wine and know nothing about it. Plus I find it hard to really talk to aussies, everything is very light, nothing in depth or emotional is really ever talked about. There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

Life here has been very lonely for me, when I am in the UK I feel NORMAL, I can chat to people, ppl seem friendlier, and most of all, I feel I belong! I envy all of you buying your ticket to go home, how I wish I was.

I miss English people, you know, all the chat, I just miss home :*(

Originally Posted by honeybun

There's just a round of activities all the time, I don't want to do scrapbooking, or make my own xmas stocking, or gingerbread house, or xmas cards, I don't have the money to go for a massage/pedicure/manicure, and I'm not fit or sporty enough to go rockclimbing/hiking/scuba diving/swimming and so it makes things difficult! What ever happened to a chat over a good old cup of tea?!

(

Originally Posted by simoneb03

there are things that are really good when it comes to small children, so enjoy your baby in that more relaxed way and think how here, you could be putting her in some really inadequate, expensive child care place and going out to work in some really badly paid job etc!