3 women, 1 married, 1 engaged and 1 mistress. They decided to treat their men so they dressed up in Black leather bra & pants, Stilettos and a leather face mask.

Next day they were chatting about they got on, Engaged woman said "my fiance loved it, he jumped on me and we were making love all night" The mistress says "same here, we were at it all night as well"

Married woman sighed and said "when my hubby came home, he walked in and said whats for tea Batman??"

*************************************************

My personal favourite............ A zero (0) and an eight (8) were walking down the street, Zero says to the 8.."Why you got your belt tied so tight?????????"

Paddy takes his wife to casualty.

She's got no teeth, a broken nose and two black eyes.

Doctor says 'What Happened?''

Paddy says ''She's was going through the change.''

Doctor says ''that doesn't happen with the Change!''

Paddy says ''It does when it's in my f**kin pocket!''

A man comes home from work and his wife says to him, "How would you like to screwed harder than you've ever been screwed before?"
The man says, "Hell yes," and starts to get undressed. As soon as he's standing naked in front of his wife, she hands him the divorce papers.

This is one that my 5 year old told me

will you remember me in a day?

will you remember me in a week?

will you remember me in a month?

will you remember me in a year?

knock, knock

whos there?

youve forgotten me already





.........ahhh!! bless she thinks its funny

theres a few Jade Goody ones knocking around if people are not offended, I will post.

Definition of Prenuptual is a legal document drawn up by a lawyer for the person of the first Part against the person of the second Part when both realise the Party is over

Yeah go on..!!

I can't believe this is real!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncjYnLgxyCI

If it was 'real' it wouldn't make a very good golf club.

When you swing a golf club the force you put into it makes the ball fly whereas with this contraption 'used' the force you put into it will slosh the pee around inside the club therefore your ball wont go as far.

Science 101 isn't it?

Two necrophiliacs walking past a mortuary.

"Fancy stopping off for a cold one?".

Thanks, although I was aware that you don't use it like an actual golf club.

I meant that I can't believe they are actually selling these in America. Mind you, they do come up with some crazy ideas I guess!

Gross lol!

Wife puts on a pair of crotchless knickers for her husband walks into the room and says "come on then big guy" Husband says "no way have you seen what that thing has done to your knickers"

SORRY!!!!

I was watching porn the other day and I realised that it was my mum that was in it! I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that my mother is in a porno or that I carried on w******!!!!

Thats just sick