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-   -   The first mistake in the bible! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/first-mistake-bible-460159/)

birdynumnum Jun 29th 2007 1:32 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by arkon (Post 4985363)
I do sort of have a story to tell that sort of might confirm that God exists, but I'm a bit embarrassed to tell it. If I tell it you will either not believe me or think I'm the barking one.

C'mon barkon....spit it out

arkon Jun 29th 2007 1:35 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by moneypen20 (Post 4985385)
I think you're barking most of the time anyway, go for it:lol:

Ok here goes..

It was about 10 years ago, I have a male mate who's hobby and addiction was to sleep with as many girls as possible. He seemed to always get them into bed once he had decided. This went on from him age 14 to about 30. He would have girlfriends and be sleeping around behind their backs, you know the sort. We (his circle of friends, male and female) knew what he was like.

He then met a girl who was a Christian, her father a vicar in his own little church in the country. Well my mate determined to sleep with her tried everything, she wouldn't give in. She told him she was saving herself for her wedding day. This went on for months and he was getting more and more frustrated at his first ever lack of success. So you guessed it......He asked her to marry him.

She agreed and the date was set, her father was going to do the service in his church. We were all invited. The night before his big day he was off sleeping with his last ex. I should add here that he was a complete Athiest worse than me.

On the day of the wedding it was a lovely clear blue summer sky, not a cloud in sight, perfect weather for it. We were all bricking it as we knew what he was like, why he was marrying her and was scared an old flame was bound to turn up and spoil it.

We all sat in the church and the vicar of dibbly did his thing and then got the the bit, "Does anyone here know any just impediment to this marriage" We all held our breaths and then.........The light from the windows went out, we were plunged into near darkness, the door to the church started violently banging and huge gusts of wind were blowing in and causing a ruckus. The Vicar then said "Clearly someone has something to say about it", after a very big pause the vicar continued and said "Well if noone else has any objection" and carried on....As soon as he carried on the sun came back out, the room lightened up again and the door swung back open!

I kid you not, this is a tottaly true story. My mate is still happily married and he has now converted and is a born again christian. He never as far as we know had another affair or fling whist being married and they both lived happily ever after.

If it wasn't the big G causing a freak localised weather condition at the exact right moment I've no idea what else it could have been. I still don't believe though, must have been ghosts!

MartinLuther Jun 29th 2007 1:35 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 
Yikes - I only went away for a few days and a 39 page thread springs out of nowhere.

I'm not going to read it all but to answer arkon's queries about Adam and Eve and Cain and wife, etc. I think the bible says that Adam and Eve were the first people not the only people. Typically, the press of the day, lost interest after the first few. I vaguely remember that Cain married someone from the land of Nod which was somewhere east of Eden.

Arkon, have you got to the bit yet where Lot's daughters deliberately gets him drunk so that they could have their wicked way with him. Racy stuff I tell ya! And that Abraham bloke - he liked to spread himself around a bit.

No wonder it used to be illegal to sell the bible when the UK had Sunday trading restrictions.

:D

arkon Jun 29th 2007 1:35 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by birdynumnum (Post 4985450)
C'mon barkon....spit it out

Ooooo impatient.... It took a lot of typing that did.:)

iPom Jun 29th 2007 1:37 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by arkon (Post 4985457)
Ok here goes..

It was about 10 years ago, I have a male mate who's hobby and addiction was to sleep with as many girls as possible. He seemed to always get them into bed once he had decided. This went on from him age 14 to about 30. He would have girlfriends and be sleeping around behind their backs, you know the sort. We (his circle of friends, male and female) knew what he was like.

He then met a girl who was a Christian, her father a vicar in his own little church in the country. Well my mate determined to sleep with her tried everything, she wouldn't give in. She told him she was saving herself for her wedding day. This went on for months and he was getting more and more frustrated at his first ever lack of success. So you guessed it......He asked her to marry him.

She agreed and the date was set, her father was going to do the service in his church. We were all invited. The night before his big day he was off sleeping with his last ex. I should add here that he was a complete Athiest worse than me.

On the day of the wedding it was a lovely clear blue summer sky, not a cloud in sight, perfect weather for it. We were all bricking it as we knew what he was like, why he was marrying her and was scared an old flame was bound to turn up and spoil it.

We all sat in the church and the vicar of dibbly did his thing and then got the the bit, "Does anyone here know any just impediment to this marriage" We all held our breaths and then.........The light from the windows went out, we were plunged into near darkness, the door to the church started violently banging and huge gusts of wind were blowing in and causing a ruckus. The Vicar then said "Clearly someone has something to say about it", after a very big pause the vicar continued and said "Well if noone else has any objection" and carried on....As soon as he carried on the sun came back out, the room lightened up again and the door swung back open!

I kid you not, this is a tottaly true story. My mate is still happily married and he has now converted and is a born again christian. He never as far as we know had another affair or fling whist being married and they both lived happily ever after.

If it wasn't the big G causing a freak localised weather condition at the exact right moment I've no idea what else it could have been. I still don't believe though, must have been ghosts!

You'll probably find it was the 20 women outside trying to get in, but someone had locked the doors .... wise move. :D

arkon Jun 29th 2007 1:37 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by MartinLuther (Post 4985462)
Yikes - I only went away for a few days and a 39 page thread springs out of nowhere.

I'm not going to read it all but to answer arkon's queries about Adam and Eve and Cain and wife, etc. I think the bible says that Adam and Eve were the first people not the only people. Typically, the press of the day, lost interest after the first few. I vaguely remember that Cain married someone from the land of Nod which was somewhere east of Eden.

Arkon, have you got to the bit yet where Lot's daughters deliberately gets him drunk so that they could have their wicked way with him. Racy stuff I tell ya! And that Abraham bloke - he liked to spread himself around a bit.

No wonder it used to be illegal to sell the bible when the UK had Sunday trading restrictions.

:D

Just no mention of the big cohooner creating any more people after the first two. A bit of an oversight I recon.

moneypenny20 Jun 29th 2007 1:39 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 
So why didn't the vicar put a stop to it if the big man (or woman) upstairs gave him the nod? Surely he knew what his boss meant:D

iPom Jun 29th 2007 1:40 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by moneypen20 (Post 4985482)
So why didn't the vicar put a stop to it if the big man (or woman) upstairs gave him the nod? Surely he knew what his boss meant:D

Yes, but it's like the bible... open to interpretation.... :)

arkon Jun 29th 2007 1:42 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by moneypen20 (Post 4985482)
So why didn't the vicar put a stop to it if the big man (or woman) upstairs gave him the nod? Surely he knew what his boss meant:D

Well clearly not. Just because he was a vicar doesn't mean he believed in god. It's probably just a job. A bit like a sewer cleaner, just because his job is cleaning up muck, doesn't mean he likes the smell. The fact that he did carry on speaks volumes I recon.

moneypenny20 Jun 29th 2007 1:48 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 
Either that or his daughter had been really really bad in a previous life and it was pay back time.

birdynumnum Jun 29th 2007 1:50 am

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 
I was praying you'd tell b4 I went off to bed & twas answered.

V good.
Your going to have all the believers coming out of the woodwork now all excited, should be fun

iPom Jun 29th 2007 1:22 pm

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by arkon (Post 4985493)
Just because he was a vicar doesn't mean he believed in god. It's probably just a job.

I think you'll find actually believing in god is a pre requisite for the job.
:rofl:

Sally Jun 29th 2007 1:49 pm

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by arkon (Post 4985493)
Well clearly not. Just because he was a vicar doesn't mean he believed in god. It's probably just a job. A bit like a sewer cleaner, just because his job is cleaning up muck, doesn't mean he likes the smell. The fact that he did carry on speaks volumes I recon.

That reminds me of Dougal in Father Ted "Sure it's like all the stuff they taught us at the seminary - about God and Jesus and stuff -you're not meant to believe it..."

"Yes you are Dougal."

:lol:

Hutch Jun 29th 2007 2:44 pm

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by arkon (Post 4985457)
The light from the windows went out, we were plunged into near darkness, the door to the church started violently banging and huge gusts of wind were blowing in and causing a ruckus.

That's funny. Similar thing happened at some friends of ours wedding (though neither were serial shaggers [to the best of my knowledge]. The woman conducting the civil service was just about to do the, "Do you .. " bit and there was this room-shaking peel of thunder - sounded like a bomb exploding in the lower atmosphere. Everyone looks at each ... bride and groom get the giggles - everyone else has a good laugh. Later on, they were setting off down the drive on their way to their honeymoon .... and absolutely **** all happened. :lol:

Pollyana Jun 29th 2007 2:50 pm

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Originally Posted by birdynumnum (Post 4985216)
Oh my God,

Excellent, mad as badgers!

Mirror, signal, sign of the cross, manouevre.

Pray whilst in your car and pop into BP for a quick bit of spiritual comfort

barking


Originally Posted by iPom (Post 4985252)
Post of the day ... :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

especially the bit about Badgers......hope someone has sent him the link! :rofl:


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