The first mistake in the bible!
 

Whilst bored the other night I read Genesis in the bible, just to give me some ammo the next time the jehovah's come knocking. Well I noticed a funametal mistake that proves it's all a load of codswallop. I'll type it out and see if you can spot it......

short hand for the first bit:-

God created the earth the fish light etc and had a rest on Sunday

He made Eden and Adam and eve, the ONLY 2 humans on the earth

After a bit of rumpy Eve gave birth in agony because she eat the apple to
Cain and Able, 2 brothers (both boys) No other children.....

THEN Genesis Chapter 7...

"Cain and his wife had a son and named him Enoch"

ALSO Genesis Chapter 4 Verse 15....

(God speaking to the cast out Cain)

"But the Lord Answered, No, If anyone kills you seven lives will be taken in revenge"

The book is just full of rubbish, Where did all the other people come from, where did the wife of Cain come from. As for killing 7 in revenge, didn't he go on to say "Thou shalt not kill". Lead by example I say.....

Here endeth the reading, Life in Oz is so interesting I'm reading the bible for entertainment!

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

It's well known to be full of inconsistencies and contradictions, and the fact that several major religions are based on the OT is of concern. Seems anyone can whack a slant or interpretation on it and claim a revelation for a new faith or denomination etc.

I think it is a socio political/spiritual set of books spanning a number of centuries and writers (many of whom never even witnessed key events). Speaks volumes to me about control and order of the uneducated.

Surely the radio, ABC tv, or a dvd would be more entertaining? have a nice hot scented oil bath, buy a novel or get a couple of books out of the library, make a list of 'to do's' that you'd enjoy for YOURSELF!!! :)

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Religion is for the weak.

Load of old bollocks.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

I think a lot of people find solace and comfort in religion.
I wouldn't condemn them for that.

Each to his own and all that but unfortunately the preachings of most religions don't seem to allow that philosophy.

They tend to call for the conversion of all and sundry and the result of that is all to often war.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

I like this bit...'To the woman he said, "I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you'.

Genesis, Ch 3 V 16.


Cos jesus he knows me
And he knows Im right
Ive been talking to jesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I'm right
And hes been telling me
Everything is alright

Genesis 1992

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

They did an awful lot of begatting, being the first generation, and there were too many sprogs to remember all their names, so that explains the numbers thing.

Being so interbred they were none too clever either, so when Adam reads them a once upon a time story with a bit of science fiction, they don't question it too much.

Oh and you missed out God making them in "our" image...

:)
Karl

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

It's all total bollox but I guess if it makes some people happy and they don't bother me or mine let them believe all the good things that happen are down to god and all the bad things are down to us.:rolleyes:

Is it the kiss of death to mention that I haven't been visited by any god botherers since we've been here.:ohmy:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Excelent, yes I did read that one. I'm up to Noah at the moment, I must admit the version I'm reading, the Ozzy version is very easy to read, no old language in it, infact it reads like a bed time story for children.

What amazes me most about religion and the one based on the bible especially is that with so many contradictions how can any sane or rational person possibly believe in it. I would have thought if you have 2 neurons rubbing together and actually read the bible, then it would be enough to convince you it's all a load of cobblars.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

I look forwards to the next visit, bring it on... Did I say I got given the bible at the citizenship ceremony? I wonder if there is any milage writing a satanic verses type book for the bible, pointing out all the mistakes.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

One of my brothers used to be the biggest possible atheist. Atheist in a complete-contempt-for-religion bigotted way.

18 years ago he started reading the Bible so that when he argued with Christians he could slag them off with knowledge.

Half way through he was having second thoughts. By the time he reached the end of the NT he was fully converted, and believed in the literal truth of Genesis etc. Still does.

Barking.
:eek:
So - be warned. Read Happy Rotter or the Mr Men instead.

Karl

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Cool, I've got to read it all then, anything powerfull enough to do that to me just has to be worth rolling up and smoking.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

My parents live close to the creationist museum in the USA and I can't wait to go over again as I just HAVE to see the dinosaurs on Noah's Ark :D.
I know a lovely lady on my teaching course who had difficult in our geology lesson as she believes in creationism, it came as a bit of a shock as I had never met anyone who takes it quite so literally.
Nicky

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

I met a creationist once, weel educated too. He belived that dinosaurs and all the other bones found that prove it took more than 7 days to create everything are fakes! All the fossils found are fakes too! Having a debate on anything with him was really good except the bible and his religion, then it was like banging your head on a brick wall.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Yep I can understand that. We were planning a lesson on dinosaurs and I was chatting away about how we could talk about the geological layers as a type of time line and she went very quiet and said "that is if you believe in that". I was a bit stumped as I had no idea that she was a creationist and didn't twig for a while (not all that quick on the uptake :confused:). The fossils were not a problem but we didn't get into whether they were real or not (luckily).
She is a lovely person and I get on really well with her, but I now know to avoid the subject of religion.
Enjoy your reading.
Nicky

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Same with my brother. Dinosaur bones were CREATED in place in the rocks to confuse the unbelievers.

As for physical data which proves the Universe was in existence 15 billion years before Genesis...again God created the light trails to make the Universe seem that age. Again to confuse the unbelievers.

The faithful, however, believe any old shit they're fed.

There's no arguing with fundamentalists!

Karl

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Could be worse I reckon. Some of us could believe in space ships, intergalactic wars and be involved with scientific cults.....

Oh wait...never mind :p

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

LOL, I was with you right up to scientific cults. Who's one of them then? Now spaceships and intergalactic wars I can believe.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

See what you did there Arkon? You assumed the 7 lives were human / that they would be taken now. They could have been taken hundreds of years later. Or maybe it was cockroaches. Maybe even one cat lost 7 so needs to be extra careful crossing the road now.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

True, but that still doesn't explain who Cain shagged unless it was his mother Eve.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

since when has it been wrong to shag your mother? I thought everyone did it.:angel_smile:

Also wot about this snake then? was it a he or a she? maybe it was up for a bit of porking:devil_smile:

chris

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

oh arkon i too read my very olde worlde bible .it's great!!!! it's so completely mad..my favorite bits are: who was there when Jesus rose from the dead? the daughters of arron. mary mother , mary mag (the one he love and kissed on the lips all the time), salome marys cousin and someone else... they also had about a kg of murrrh (what the hell was that for...?) the daughters of arron were the temple priestesses and were in charge of incense...according to some he went to UK and established the true christian faith at Glastonbury.....it's very interesting....jesus made up a new commandment too at the sermon on the mount "love thine enemy as yourself" and also said you will go to hell if you even look at someone else if you are married AHHHHH I'm off to hell.......(i'd rather be there as the smokers will be there..i always hang out with the smokers)......time for bed i think before i go mad.....what about "kiss me with your mouth.. your love is better than wine....."(only good words in bible).....UM i think i'll have the wine.. oh had some already....bye.....:thumbsup:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

what else can you expect in a book that has had more editors than you have had hot meals :rofl:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Have you got to the bit where he says

"Blessed are the cheesemakers"

(or makers of dairy products)

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

The done thing in Camborne, apparently. ;)

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

The lord will provide how does he work that out then.
Just a few starving in the world:confused:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

:rofl:

I started reading the bible once, thought I should see what all the fuss is about and be able to confound god-squadders with my incredible knowledge of their holy book.... Safe to say it didn't convert me, but then I didn't finish it. I got on fine with genesis, and the floods and things - I went to CofE school so it was all quite familiar and I can see how it could be interpreted liberally rather than fundamentally....
But then I got to the bit where God gives them all a load of instructions about how to live. Or maybe it was a prophet... either way the rules came from God and they were bizarre - "If thou finds green mould on a wooden object, take it out of the village and leave it in the desert for seven days and seven nights and if when thou looks again it is still green then burn it" and things like that! :confused: But what made me really mad was the bit about women and times of the month... the bible may have had a hundred editors but they were all MEN!
Anyway I got bored of that section and stopped.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

A Jehovahs witness once told me that dinosaurs were put on the earth by God to poo all over it and make it fertile for when he invented humans, when they had done the job he wiped them out :huh:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Ah but the meek shall inherit the earth - tis easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to pass through the gates of heaven.
So in the LONGRUN they are actually better off, you see? :D

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

and the meek shall inherit the earth........







if that's all right with the rest of you :lol:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Has anyone seen the Ricky Gervais standup 'Animals'? We have it on DVD, we've watched it dozens of times and it is still hilarious - there is a whole section on the bible, it's very funny.

(If you didn't like the office - which i didn't - , this is still funny. Well worth a watch, especially with some mates and a few bottles of beer/wine!)

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

The problem I have when a nutter says something like this, is how the heck to they know that? It doesn't mention the dinosaurs in the book so how would a jehovah know that's what god did?

My bible has a 100 day reading plan in it to help you along, but it's only got about 1400 pages, if it took me that long to read that many pages, it can't be a very gripping read.

And how come the world is full of missionaries and priests etc all trying to convert the unbelievers, yet the atheists don't have a simular program to try and unconvert the converted. Seems all a bit one sided to me.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Maybe you could start something there then Arkon - since you have so much time on your hands:p

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

I think I need to start searching for a distinguishing birth mark then. Then create an army of the sane.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Like I said, anything good that happens is down to god. Any shit stuff, people dying, starving etc is down to us being bad. Some areas of Africa must have been horrendously bad at some point what with droughts killing millions and disease etc and as for Darfur - :eek:

Don't go looking for the sane on here will you. Not sure there are any:D

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

Was going to mention that too - lol - was reading the thread thinking exactly that.

Here you go:



:lol:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

LOL and all true, exept the bit about doing it in the dark. If there was no light then dark was the norm at the time, and any creature evolves to suit it's enviroment. So god must be able to see in the dark. Which is amazing considering he hadn't invented carots by then.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

That's a different thread, please keep on track.

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

That's brilliant. Not seen it before, will have to get the DVD. One bit of advice for anyone else who's not seen it, don't be drinking coffee whilst watching :eek::rofl:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

This book perfectly sums up my personal opinions on the subject.:D So very true.

Also love this comment on that Amazon link above - which so perfectly illustrates much of the problem in itself ...:rofl:

Re: The first mistake in the bible!
 

It's superb. He did another stand-up called Politics which is also worth a look, but doesn't quite hit the mark like Animals does.

P.S. They're available for download on the usual sites.