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Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by lesleys
(Post 4984790)
The 10 commandments of driving
1. You shall not kill. 2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm. 3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events. 4. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents. 5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin. 6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. 7. Support the families of accident victims. 8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness. 9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party. 10. Feel responsible toward others. So now you don't have any excuses:p |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
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Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by moneypen20
(Post 4984803)
Is this for real :eek: Does he not have more important stuff to think about like helping prevent aids, unwanted pregnancy, his colleagues buggering small children etc etc etc
I like no:8. |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by birdynumnum
(Post 4984830)
Is that serious? Its not is it?
I like no:8. |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Maybe they did a study and found Christians to be the worst drivers or something. Can't be any other reason for such stupidity. Edit* Maybe if they spent more time finding the bit in the bible that forbids condoms the world might be a better place. (when they can't find it maybe they will lift the ban on them) |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by arkon
(Post 4985119)
Crikey it's true. Should have had, thou shalt not covet thy neighbours car.
Maybe they did a study and found Christians to be the worst drivers or something. Can't be any other reason for such stupidity. Edit* Maybe if they spent more time finding the bit in the bible that forbids condoms the world might be a better place. (when they can't find it maybe they will lift the ban on them) Excellent, mad as badgers! Mirror, signal, sign of the cross, manouevre. Pray whilst in your car and pop into BP for a quick bit of spiritual comfort barking |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by birdynumnum
(Post 4985216)
Oh my God,
Excellent, mad as badgers! Mirror, signal, sign of the cross, manouevre. Pray whilst in your car and pop into BP for a quick bit of spiritual comfort barking Post of the day ... :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by birdynumnum
(Post 4984830)
Is that serious? Its not is it?
I like no:8. Well the pope is god's representative here on earth. If he said it.... :huh: |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by iPom
(Post 4985256)
Well the pope is god's representative here on earth. If he said it.... :huh:
Talk about the lunatics running the asylum.... |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Do they give more instruction? I would love to know how to "charitably convince some drunk not to drive their car home from an all night binge":ohmy: And what the hell does "uprightness" mean? English isn't the guy's first language, is it:D
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Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by moneypen20
(Post 4985329)
And what the hell does "uprightness" mean? English isn't the guy's first language, is it:D
:teeth_smile: |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by moneypen20
(Post 4985329)
Do they give more instruction? I would love to know how to "charitably convince some drunk not to drive their car home from an all night binge":ohmy: And what the hell does "uprightness" mean? English isn't the guy's first language, is it:D
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Re: The first mistake in the bible!
:thumbup:
Originally Posted by iPom
(Post 4985360)
It means, 'don't slouch at the wheel. '
:teeth_smile: |
Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Originally Posted by arkon
(Post 4985363)
I do sort of have a story to tell that sort of might confirm that God exists, but I'm a bit embarrassed to tell it. If I tell it you will either not believe me or think I'm the barking one.
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Re: The first mistake in the bible!
Ipom's 10 commandments of driving
1. You shall not kill.....too often 2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.....Try the finger if talking fails. Communion is usually better in church on Sunday, but if you're out and about, go for it. 3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.... Always address the policeman as 'sir'. Sit up so you can see over the wheel. If Prudence isn't available, her sister Gloria can be called upon to help. 4. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents... Give money... first to us, and we'll pass it on. 5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.... So no penis extensions and sex in the back of the car is definitely out. 6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so. ... ie, smack 'em one. 7. Support the families of accident victims.... under the arm at the funeral is always helpful. 8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.... ie - so they can kill each other. 9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.... put your husband in the childseat. 10. Feel responsible toward others.... But put the church first. We take donations. |
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