The 2010 Joke thread (Definitely not child friendly, you've been warned)
Apr 19th 2010, 6:22 am
#46
Account Closed
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,195
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Apologies in advance
Fella wants to spice up his love life, says to his missus 'shall we play a rape game??'
'No way' she says
"that's the spirit' he replies
Fella wants to spice up his love life, says to his missus 'shall we play a rape game??'
'No way' she says
"that's the spirit' he replies
Apr 20th 2010, 1:35 pm
#49
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Helensvale, Gold Coast soon to be Upper Coomera
Posts: 49
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, she said "Something that goes from 0-200 in under 5 seconds".
So i bought her some bathroom scales!!
So i bought her some bathroom scales!!
Apr 20th 2010, 1:38 pm
#50
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Apr 20th 2010, 1:38 pm
#51
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Apr 21st 2010, 10:04 am
#52
Account Closed
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 2,195
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
I'm voting for the Icelandic Volcano party in the upcoming general election, they've done more to stop immigration in the last 6 days than Labor have managed in 13 years
Apr 21st 2010, 10:41 am
#53
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 242
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Employee: I won't be in tomorrow I've got something wrong with my eyes.
Boss: What is the problem?
Employee: I just can't see me coming in tomorrow!
Boss: What is the problem?
Employee: I just can't see me coming in tomorrow!
Apr 23rd 2010, 2:20 am
#54
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 666
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Three young women are at a party.
Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.
The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. But thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect *****."
The first woman looks shamefaced and says: "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera. We're going to my parent's house for two weeks."
The second woman says: "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes. He bought me a Ford."
"Well," the third woman says: "I also have a confession to make. Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg.
Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.
The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. But thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect *****."
The first woman looks shamefaced and says: "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera. We're going to my parent's house for two weeks."
The second woman says: "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes. He bought me a Ford."
"Well," the third woman says: "I also have a confession to make. Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg.
Apr 23rd 2010, 2:21 am
#55
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 666
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket.
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
"Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get a bicycle."
Apr 23rd 2010, 2:25 am
#56
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 11,272
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
A guy goes in an adult store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, 'Female.'
Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?' Customer says, 'White.'
Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'
Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'
Customer says, 'Female.'
Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?' Customer says, 'White.'
Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'
Apr 23rd 2010, 2:27 am
#57
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 666
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
THE MISTRESS
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a
divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's Jim's mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a
divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's Jim's mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
Apr 23rd 2010, 2:35 am
#58
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 666
Re: The 2010 Joke thread
Carl Williams' dad was visiting Carl in gaol,
When they met his Dad noticed how fat he was getting and he said to him.
'Jeez Carl, an exercise bike wouldn't kill ya'
When they met his Dad noticed how fat he was getting and he said to him.
'Jeez Carl, an exercise bike wouldn't kill ya'
