This USA forum is harsh....
#61
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I used to tell them I was visiting my fiancée and did not get sent to secondary.
#62
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 287
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I have noticed that certain people on here are very negative when it comes to people asking questions........Seriously if people don't have anything useful to say then I don't see why they even bother posting!
I got a lot of help from this forum when I went through my immigration process but it wasn't always helpful and there where parts of it that I completely ignored.
There seems to be a lot of people on here that don't like "bending the rules" Not even a little....Then they get on their high horse every time someone is going to do something immoral, or tell a little white lie to get married on a VWP......
I got a lot of help from this forum when I went through my immigration process but it wasn't always helpful and there where parts of it that I completely ignored.
There seems to be a lot of people on here that don't like "bending the rules" Not even a little....Then they get on their high horse every time someone is going to do something immoral, or tell a little white lie to get married on a VWP......
#63
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I wonder if anyone has actually stood in front of an ICE agent and said "Well someone told me on an internet forum....."
#64
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
To be fair, most peoples' posts are based on their personal experience. The problem arises when they fail to mention that this was their personal experience.
For example, someone posts: Don't tell the officer that you're visiting your fiancé(e) or you'll be sent to secondary.
... when what they actually meant to post was: When I told the officer that I was visiting my fiancé(e), I was sent to secondary.
But the latter is not what gets posted... and so their personal experience becomes an unintentional directive that newbies might read and take as gospel. The result? Members jump on the "advice" in an effort to fix what was written... when what was said wasn't actually what the poster intended to say.
In my personal experience, people usually don't write what they actually intend to say! More often than not, however, I write exactly what I mean to say... and if that is interpreted as rude or unhelpful... well, I'm prepared to live with that.
Ian - one of the brutally honest among us.
For example, someone posts: Don't tell the officer that you're visiting your fiancé(e) or you'll be sent to secondary.
... when what they actually meant to post was: When I told the officer that I was visiting my fiancé(e), I was sent to secondary.
But the latter is not what gets posted... and so their personal experience becomes an unintentional directive that newbies might read and take as gospel. The result? Members jump on the "advice" in an effort to fix what was written... when what was said wasn't actually what the poster intended to say.
In my personal experience, people usually don't write what they actually intend to say! More often than not, however, I write exactly what I mean to say... and if that is interpreted as rude or unhelpful... well, I'm prepared to live with that.
Ian - one of the brutally honest among us.
And, finally, I don't get why someone would join BE and then not stop whinging about it. If they don't like an internet forum, then simply move on and find one that does suit their tastes. There are many out there to choose from - that's what is great about the internet - there's something for everyone.
Last edited by tonrob; Oct 17th 2011 at 3:48 am.
#65
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
And, finally, I don't get why someone would join BE and then not stop whinging about it. If they don't like an internet forum, then simply move on and find one that does suit their tastes. There are many out there to choose from - that's what is great about the internet - there's something for everyone.
#66
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
OP - I agree, this is a harsh forum, bordering on downright rude and aggressive some of the time. Also one of the Mods on here, not mentioning names, sets a very low bar that they fail to achieve when it comes to civility.
It's one of the reasons I don't come on here very often, it's just not a terribly inviting place to hang out and is, er, somewhat parochial.
It's one of the reasons I don't come on here very often, it's just not a terribly inviting place to hang out and is, er, somewhat parochial.
Last edited by TimFountain; Oct 17th 2011 at 5:48 am.
#67
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
The biggest problem is most people don't like the answer they are given because it doesn't suit what they want to do, so they get all shitty and accuse everyone who has replied of being rude.
#68
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
Jesus wept, if you actually think the USA general section is harsh, may I suggest you don't venture to 'Take It Outside' - you won't last five minutes there
(I don't think that section is harsh - though that sort of made it sound like I do. I quite enjoy the banter myself.)
(I don't think that section is harsh - though that sort of made it sound like I do. I quite enjoy the banter myself.)
#69
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
and for most of the people posting there isn't even a need to search, just read that flashing great big Wiki saying 'Want to move to the USA, Really, Really Read Me'
The biggest problem is most people don't like the answer they are given because it doesn't suit what they want to do, so they get all shitty and accuse everyone who has replied of being rude.
The biggest problem is most people don't like the answer they are given because it doesn't suit what they want to do, so they get all shitty and accuse everyone who has replied of being rude.
#70
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
#71
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
The problem is......it is an exclusive club. US immigration policy is designed to exclude most people.
#72
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I kind of understand that sometimes though, our immigration was very straight forward and did kind of fall on us out of the blue, a surprise job offer and we'd moved within 4 months. The people on here through marriage though can spend up to a couple of years sorting out everything to come here legally, then get someone new on here saying 'there must be some way for me to move to the US within the next 2 weeks, we just can't stand to be apart....' it'd piss me off too.
#73
I have a comma problem
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Fox Lake, IL (from Carrickfergus NI)
Posts: 49,598
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I kind of understand that sometimes though, our immigration was very straight forward and did kind of fall on us out of the blue, a surprise job offer and we'd moved within 4 months. The people on here through marriage though can spend up to a couple of years sorting out everything to come here legally, then get someone new on here saying 'there must be some way for me to move to the US within the next 2 weeks, we just can't stand to be apart....' it'd piss me off too.
#74
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
Jesus wept, if you actually think the USA general section is harsh, may I suggest you don't venture to 'Take It Outside' - you won't last five minutes there
(I don't think that section is harsh - though that sort of made it sound like I do. I quite enjoy the banter myself.)
(I don't think that section is harsh - though that sort of made it sound like I do. I quite enjoy the banter myself.)
People come here and want to hear that what they want to do is perfectly fine and easy and legal, they don't like being told the truth about immigration to the US. There really is no special relationship, we are all foreigners in this country, and the US doesn't want or need them. It's just the way it is.
Or as I hear in the US often (and hate) It is what it is.
#75
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 157
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I tend to think the attitude matches the initial poster most times.
As someone said earlier, the blunt truth is that the fantasy of moving to the US to enjoy the 'American dream' is totally different to reality. You don't turn up with the fabled dollar in your pocket and turn that into a business empire, not now. The answers tend to reflect this - usually being expressed most clearly by telling the OP to read the wiki. If they do that, they should in theory come back with more precise questions.
Yet some will make two, three, four threads with the same question hoping to somehow get an answer they prefer on the next attempt.
My post count is minimal because I've spent most of my time on here searching for other people asking the same questions I had. That got me my initial J1, through my K1, conditional green card and finally getting my conditions removed (pending). I'll no doubt do the same thing when/if I apply for citizenship.
...I've forgotten the point I wanted to make so I'll change it to say a thank you to people who posted here over the years both asking and answering questions that also helped me down the line. If the attitude of some posters bothers you then that's a shame, but even more reason to use the site as an ever expanding encyclopedia.
As someone said earlier, the blunt truth is that the fantasy of moving to the US to enjoy the 'American dream' is totally different to reality. You don't turn up with the fabled dollar in your pocket and turn that into a business empire, not now. The answers tend to reflect this - usually being expressed most clearly by telling the OP to read the wiki. If they do that, they should in theory come back with more precise questions.
Yet some will make two, three, four threads with the same question hoping to somehow get an answer they prefer on the next attempt.
My post count is minimal because I've spent most of my time on here searching for other people asking the same questions I had. That got me my initial J1, through my K1, conditional green card and finally getting my conditions removed (pending). I'll no doubt do the same thing when/if I apply for citizenship.
...I've forgotten the point I wanted to make so I'll change it to say a thank you to people who posted here over the years both asking and answering questions that also helped me down the line. If the attitude of some posters bothers you then that's a shame, but even more reason to use the site as an ever expanding encyclopedia.