scrubbedexpat099

I used to tell them I was visiting my fiancée and did not get sent to secondary.

paulpur

i think you will find that the 'bending of the rules' and the 'little white lies' that people often ask about is actually breaking the law , there is a difference and nevermind that advisisng someone to do something illegal is against site rules...

sime303

I wonder if anyone has actually stood in front of an ICE agent and said "Well someone told me on an internet forum....."

tonrob

And this is the crux of the matter. Sadly there are many who are incapable of understanding the impact of this distinction (or even recognizing it at all).

And, finally, I don't get why someone would join BE and then not stop whinging about it. If they don't like an internet forum, then simply move on and find one that does suit their tastes. There are many out there to choose from - that's what is great about the internet - there's something for everyone.

discoviking

I don't get that, either. But this happens from time to time on every forum I am on. There is always some newbie who comes along and thinks the forum should be changed to suit their taste/view/opinion/whatever - and then proceed to get their panties in a wad when they don't get their way. That's just the nature of your typical internet forum, too.

TimFountain

OP - I agree, this is a harsh forum, bordering on downright rude and aggressive some of the time. Also one of the Mods on here, not mentioning names, sets a very low bar that they fail to achieve when it comes to civility.

It's one of the reasons I don't come on here very often, it's just not a terribly inviting place to hang out and is, er, somewhat parochial.

N1cky

and for most of the people posting there isn't even a need to search, just read that flashing great big Wiki saying 'Want to move to the USA, Really, Really Read Me'

The biggest problem is most people don't like the answer they are given because it doesn't suit what they want to do, so they get all shitty and accuse everyone who has replied of being rude.

SultanOfSwing

Jesus wept, if you actually think the USA general section is harsh, may I suggest you don't venture to 'Take It Outside' - you won't last five minutes there

(I don't think that section is harsh - though that sort of made it sound like I do. I quite enjoy the banter myself.)

nethead

I agree, but some people do come across as self satisfied and smug. It's like getting into the US is an exclusive club. I got here but you can't nah nah na na nah, which is how it sounds at times.

SultanOfSwing

In that case, I'd like a refund

fatbrit

The problem is......it is an exclusive club. US immigration policy is designed to exclude most people.

N1cky

I kind of understand that sometimes though, our immigration was very straight forward and did kind of fall on us out of the blue, a surprise job offer and we'd moved within 4 months. The people on here through marriage though can spend up to a couple of years sorting out everything to come here legally, then get someone new on here saying 'there must be some way for me to move to the US within the next 2 weeks, we just can't stand to be apart....' it'd piss me off too.

SultanOfSwing

My K1 visa only took 4 months start to finish - and a month after approval I was in the US. At the time it can seem like a long time I suppose, but some people on other family categories can take years to get their visas, so most of the marriage based visa people can quit their moaning for the most part, IMHO.

Mummy in the foothills

OMG yes they are brutal in there, I go and read occasionally, but I'm afraid to post there LOL.
People come here and want to hear that what they want to do is perfectly fine and easy and legal, they don't like being told the truth about immigration to the US. There really is no special relationship, we are all foreigners in this country, and the US doesn't want or need them. It's just the way it is.
Or as I hear in the US often (and hate) It is what it is.

Egon

I tend to think the attitude matches the initial poster most times.

As someone said earlier, the blunt truth is that the fantasy of moving to the US to enjoy the 'American dream' is totally different to reality. You don't turn up with the fabled dollar in your pocket and turn that into a business empire, not now. The answers tend to reflect this - usually being expressed most clearly by telling the OP to read the wiki. If they do that, they should in theory come back with more precise questions.

Yet some will make two, three, four threads with the same question hoping to somehow get an answer they prefer on the next attempt.

My post count is minimal because I've spent most of my time on here searching for other people asking the same questions I had. That got me my initial J1, through my K1, conditional green card and finally getting my conditions removed (pending). I'll no doubt do the same thing when/if I apply for citizenship.

...I've forgotten the point I wanted to make so I'll change it to say a thank you to people who posted here over the years both asking and answering questions that also helped me down the line. If the attitude of some posters bothers you then that's a shame, but even more reason to use the site as an ever expanding encyclopedia.