This USA forum is harsh....
#16
Misses Los Angeles
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: London
Posts: 436
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I would tend to agree with the OP. When someone first approaches this forum, the volume of previous posts is staggering, and I suspect at some point the thought "I will just jump in and ask my question, rather than plough through thousands of earlier posts" crosses their minds.
It is very offputting to find posters belittling newbies wishes and desires to move to the USA, espcially when, from their avatars they themselves have made the move. You've done it, you've made the jump, why go to such lengths to put someone else off?
By all means point out the pitfalls, obstacles and drawbacks, but don't, please, sneer at someone who wants to persue their dream -just as you did.
By all means point out the pitfalls, obstacles and drawbacks, but don't, please, sneer at someone who wants to persue their dream -just as you did.
This dream has very little relevance to the modern realities of US immigration. One of the hardest things for other people to understand is that America doesn't have open doors for decent, hardworking people who want better lives for their families. That moment has been and gone. The practical realities are that immigration here is niche-led: family, marriage, specialist skills.
Insomuch as there's an 'average' person on this site, it's not someone who's decided 'I shall move to the USA: make it happen'. A lot of people have American partners, or have been offered American transfers or jobs. When new people join in similar circumstances, has anyone here ever 'gone to great lengths' to put these people off? No, don't get married to an American! Don't accept that transfer! We are hogging the American dream all to ourselves!
Most British people aren't eligible to immigrate to the States, at least not in a straightforward, immediate fashion. Most British people don't realize this. The idea of the American dream pervades.
And so people get scammed, or make bad choices: overstay the VWP... pay a visa agent... apply for loads of jobs where visa sponsorship simply isn't going to happen... accept jobs from well-meaning Americans who have no idea about visas... buy a house in the sun so they can live there... buy Detroit property with guaranteed rental returns so they can build a business there... accept jobs from companies that take advantage of people desperate to immigrate... invest in a business that provides a visa with no long-term security and where your kids will 'age out'... move over to be with an American spouse who thinks they can sort the visa out later (and end up in a completely vulnerable position: overstay status, no EAD, no money).
Letting people know their dreams are realistic isn't very 'nice', but it's a million times more helpful, in these situations, than 'just do it'. And I've seen a lot of posters spending time to explain the long-term, long-shot options to someone who has no immediate hopes of getting a visa.
#17
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
Basically, some newbies ask stupid questions and are lazy, and some respondents are up their own *rses and like belittling people.
But most of the time neither of these situations is the case so why get our panties in a wad worrying about the exceptions?
But most of the time neither of these situations is the case so why get our panties in a wad worrying about the exceptions?
#18
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
Hi people,
I used to post on BE prior to my move to Australia from the UK almost 8 years ago. Having separated and divorced from the ex some 3 years back, I met an American girl. We are now quite serious, so I’ve started poking around in the USA forums, just getting idea’s what my/our options are re visa’s etc....WOW! You guys are pretty harsh..!
I’ve really only read a few post, but already I see that some of these guys get hit damn hard (verbally beaten-up in fact) for asking what are apparently pretty stupid/un-researched/un-realistic/pipe-dream type questions. Just an observation. Now I have some questions myself. Dare I ask...?
I used to post on BE prior to my move to Australia from the UK almost 8 years ago. Having separated and divorced from the ex some 3 years back, I met an American girl. We are now quite serious, so I’ve started poking around in the USA forums, just getting idea’s what my/our options are re visa’s etc....WOW! You guys are pretty harsh..!
I’ve really only read a few post, but already I see that some of these guys get hit damn hard (verbally beaten-up in fact) for asking what are apparently pretty stupid/un-researched/un-realistic/pipe-dream type questions. Just an observation. Now I have some questions myself. Dare I ask...?
You have a relationship with an American, so you have a relatively straightforward path.
#20
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 4,891
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
You are actually being sarcastic as well as disingenuous by twisting the wording of the rule to suit yourself. You're not big and you're not clever. In fact your attitude embodies all the worst attributes that the OP brought to light.
#21
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I am 6ft, admittedly many Americans can beat me in girth.
Clever, well I guess that is arguable and we may differ.
PS there is a thread going on in the Immigration Forum at the moment where the lady has been repeatedly told info she does not want to hear so keeps on coming back with variants.
#22
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 4,891
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I am not twisting, just reading.
I am 6ft, admittedly many Americans can beat me in girth.
Clever, well I guess that is arguable and we may differ.
PS there is a thread going on in the Immigration Forum at the moment where the lady has been repeatedly told info she does not want to hear so keeps on coming back with variants.
I am 6ft, admittedly many Americans can beat me in girth.
Clever, well I guess that is arguable and we may differ.
PS there is a thread going on in the Immigration Forum at the moment where the lady has been repeatedly told info she does not want to hear so keeps on coming back with variants.
#23
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 104
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
"Dufus" is an acronym for "Dumb ugly f**ked up soldier". I don't really see how using that word, to describe a person on an internet forum you know next to nothing about, equates to showing respect. But then again, people are a diverse bunch and we all have different standards for ourselves, and for what we expect of others.
In any case, I wasn't specifically referring to what you said, Boiler - it was more a general plea for people to be respectful.
Look, to me it's perfectly simple. If one doesn't like what someone has posted, or finds it boring, or one is jaded by having the same conversation over and over again, JUST DON'T GET INVOLVED. Unless I missed something, participation in this forum is voluntary.
Let me put it another way. Say you move to a new town, and you try and meet your neighbours by going to community events and meetings. Many of them are friendly, but some of the more senior members shout at you and tell you not to say anything until you are fully familiar with all the town's byelaws and customs. They call you names and make you feel stupid every time you open your mouth. Kind of makes you regret moving there. That is often how this forum feels.
In any case, I wasn't specifically referring to what you said, Boiler - it was more a general plea for people to be respectful.
Look, to me it's perfectly simple. If one doesn't like what someone has posted, or finds it boring, or one is jaded by having the same conversation over and over again, JUST DON'T GET INVOLVED. Unless I missed something, participation in this forum is voluntary.
Let me put it another way. Say you move to a new town, and you try and meet your neighbours by going to community events and meetings. Many of them are friendly, but some of the more senior members shout at you and tell you not to say anything until you are fully familiar with all the town's byelaws and customs. They call you names and make you feel stupid every time you open your mouth. Kind of makes you regret moving there. That is often how this forum feels.
Last edited by bivlover; Oct 16th 2011 at 7:35 am.
#26
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
there are the ones that are twee and sweet and all very nice
or as a report pointed out a few years back
the people on BE do not sugar coat ... if you want the truth its
the place to go ....
If you want to hear agreement with your point of view
go to ... DDDDDDDDDDD forum
people have a choice
#27
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I have noticed that certain people on here are very negative when it comes to people asking questions........Seriously if people don't have anything useful to say then I don't see why they even bother posting!
I got a lot of help from this forum when I went through my immigration process but it wasn't always helpful and there where parts of it that I completely ignored.
There seems to be a lot of people on here that don't like "bending the rules" Not even a little....Then they get on their high horse every time someone is going to do something immoral, or tell a little white lie to get married on a VWP......
I got a lot of help from this forum when I went through my immigration process but it wasn't always helpful and there where parts of it that I completely ignored.
There seems to be a lot of people on here that don't like "bending the rules" Not even a little....Then they get on their high horse every time someone is going to do something immoral, or tell a little white lie to get married on a VWP......
#28
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
I too am one of those saddos who have spent a lot of time in the archives. Not only does the same question pop up every 2 weeks or so, but the same question about the same location.
I didn't discover this forum until I was post N400, so I really can't say I wouldn't have asked a silly question myself if the opportunity presented itself. However, I would like to think that any advice I was given collectively by a group of regular people (with no business to plug) would be pretty close to being factual. Perhaps brutally factual at times, but brutally factual and free .
It is frustrating seeing posters who won't take the advice onboard, and continue to repost variations of the same question. Either that or those who go in a huff and flame the forum when they are given news they don't want to hear. "Surely there must be a way into the US?" No, there mustn't.
Immigration has changed over the years, and I believe that anyone who comes on here saying they have been "planning to move to the US for (example) 2 years" - really can't have done any research if they neglect to mention health insurance, let alone the visa.
You simply can't compare moving to the US with [insert any other country here].
I didn't discover this forum until I was post N400, so I really can't say I wouldn't have asked a silly question myself if the opportunity presented itself. However, I would like to think that any advice I was given collectively by a group of regular people (with no business to plug) would be pretty close to being factual. Perhaps brutally factual at times, but brutally factual and free .
It is frustrating seeing posters who won't take the advice onboard, and continue to repost variations of the same question. Either that or those who go in a huff and flame the forum when they are given news they don't want to hear. "Surely there must be a way into the US?" No, there mustn't.
Immigration has changed over the years, and I believe that anyone who comes on here saying they have been "planning to move to the US for (example) 2 years" - really can't have done any research if they neglect to mention health insurance, let alone the visa.
You simply can't compare moving to the US with [insert any other country here].
#29
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
It's easy for long time BE members to become frustrated or tired of the same old thing being asked day after day. But I think people forget that for most people asking questions, this is their first foray into the unknown.
If you don't have something constructive or helpful to say to the poster, then why not say nothing instead?
Everyone deserves respect and courtesy on BE. There is no excuse for rudeness and ignorance.
If you don't have something constructive or helpful to say to the poster, then why not say nothing instead?
Everyone deserves respect and courtesy on BE. There is no excuse for rudeness and ignorance.
#30
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 104
Re: This USA forum is harsh....
Giving people facts and truth is one thing, and it's very welcome, as far as I'm concerned. Being rude to them is another thing entirely.