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Search: Posts Made By: caretaker
Showing results 1 to 25 of 60
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Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 5th 2018, 9:43 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck. And you can talk!"

"Correct," says the duck. "Now if you don't...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Sep 22nd 2017, 9:12 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

In a job interview,
Applicant: One of my main flaws is my frank honesty.
Employer: I don't think that's a flaw.
Applicant: I don't give a shit what you think.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 25th 2017, 12:10 am
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Around what time did Sean Connery show up at the Wimbledon Final?
Tennish.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Mar 5th 2017, 10:54 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

With great vision, the sorely-missed eco-criminal Jingsamichty somehow saw Trump a-coming.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Nov 22nd 2015, 6:30 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I was visiting an old friend on his farm and when we were having coffee on the verandah after supper I noticed a pig in the farmyard that appeared to have a wooden leg. I'd never seen such a thing,...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Nov 18th 2014, 5:11 am
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I passed out at a party the other night and the fellows poured hot tea into my mouth. I went ballistic; no-one treats me like a mug!
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Oct 25th 2014, 5:55 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Hilarous! On behalf of all drunk uncles......:rofl:
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 21st 2014, 1:13 am
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Paris police have revealed that 51kg of cocaine has gone missing from the evidence locker at their central headquarters. The chief of police vowed that if necessary they would stay up all night in...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 20th 2014, 7:35 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Some bighead border cop with a beagle came up to me at the airport and said "My partner here tells me you may have drugs on you." I said "What? Drugs! Me?! You're the one with the talking dog!"
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 18th 2014, 5:42 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Magician tries to sell weed to a cop.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yny0VDxgNwQ
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Aug 13th 2014, 4:21 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

The queen was visiting Scotland and Alex Salmond stopped by.
HM: Good morning Mr. Salmond
Salmond: Good morning Ma'am, may I have your opinion
HM: Certainly
Salmond: When we gain independance,...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Jun 29th 2014, 4:26 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

A couple who travelled with the circus made application to adopt a child and as part of the screening process a government care worker came out to do an evaluation. She began by asking if they had...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Mar 29th 2014, 1:42 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

The other day there was a power outage in our area, so when I got up there was no tv, dvd, pvr, no sound system or internet, and to top it off a big storm was blowing so I couldn't go fishing. I...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Mar 14th 2014, 3:18 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Mar 14th 2014, 2:08 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

A man recieved the following text from his neighbour:
I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. ...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Mar 5th 2014, 1:07 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I stole a tv out of a neighbour's kitchen but I think it's broke - every channel is a spinning bowl of porridge.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Jan 10th 2014, 2:04 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I went tae the hospital wae toilet brush stuck up my arse .. what happened here, asked the doctor .. well pal .. I met a wee burd at the club last night and a took hur hame ..ahh said the doctor .....
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Jan 3rd 2014, 7:41 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

What do Essex girls use for protection during sex?
The bus shelter.
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Dec 25th 2013, 3:06 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I don't know, Greenhill, how did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan got him?
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Dec 25th 2013, 1:54 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I was sitting at the computer last night and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. "Just looking for cheap flights, I said." She said, "Oh darling, you're just amazing!", then ripped both our...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Nov 21st 2013, 9:09 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

How many Torontonians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change it and 500,000 others to jump up and down and tout it as the greatest cultural event ever staged in North America.
The...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Nov 7th 2013, 12:34 am
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

A scouser and a cockney go into Gregg's and the scouser shoplifts 3 pasties and hides them in his pocket. When they leave he tells the cockney what he did, and says "The help never saw me!" The...
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Oct 27th 2013, 11:56 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

I passed out at a party last night and someone put a teabag in my mouth. I went mental - nobody treats me like a mug!
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Sep 4th 2013, 10:26 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Two ladies of the night in Soho:.
So, 'ave you 'ad a good night then?
Oh, I suppose, I've been up and down my stairs 12 times.
Ooh, your poor feet!
Forum: The Maple Leaf
Jul 27th 2013, 2:57 pm
Replies: 547
Views: 75,272
Posted By caretaker

Re: a joke

Selling my old dogging gear on ebay, no bids yet but plenty of watchers!
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