DDL

So true. We are fortunate in that we have my husband's mum to "fall back on" if we absolutely needed to but it is our intention, of course, to make it on our own. Heaven knows we've managed it so far in our lives!

My husband, at one point in his life when he lived down in Plymouth, UK, was a single father of 5 children. He keeps saying that if he could make it back then (which he did, although it may have meant beans on toast most of the time), he and I collectively can most certainly make it once we go back.

We, too, enjoy the simple things in life and can live on a shoestring if we have to. The more we are getting rid of materially over here in anticipation of the move, the more we are realizing that "stuff" just really doesn't matter.

Denise

sallysimmons

Malta sounds so lovely! Love the photos of that blue sky.

Relocateme, I'm so glad that things feel better now. I love reading posts from people who have actually made the leap. Can't wait for more to get back!

DDL, I so agree about stuff. I'm looking forward to clearing out a lot of what we have accumulated. Although no one is taking my Mac!!

I have a question for anyone who can help .... what would you recommend doing on a research trip back to the UK?

My husband and I have decided to go back for a week or two and really get a sense for how we feel about the place after so long away - not the fantasy in our heads but the real thing. We plan to rent a holiday cottage in Yorkshire, (which is where we'd live if we went back) and then try to experience as many 'normal' things as possible to get a sense of what life would be like.

This is particularly important for my husband as he's not at all enthused about the idea of moving home right now, but hasn't been back in a long time.

So what should we do to experience the 'real deal?' Any advice or tips would be much appreciated.

J.J

Make it a mix of business and pleasure.
I would suggest trying some of the things you will have to deal with on arriving back for good, try visits to Bank, Taxman, Driving License Office, Utilities Co, Council Offices, Estate Agents, Library, Post Office (they good leaflets for their services), check our doctors and dentist surgery, a grocery shopping comparison, and Age Concern Offices http://www.ageconcern.org.uk/ (for over 50's they have plenty leaflets and if u have time make a free appointment with an advisor)

And then in the afternoon.......do some of your favorte things that you will enjoy.devil_smile:

pcmaccallum

Denise we feel exactly the same as you. It is surprising what you can get by on as your husband did, and we have done in the past. It makes you realize what the important things are in life. I think when you find this out you are the richest people in the world.

We are the same as you and have family when we get home. I just feel so for those going home with no network of support. There must be something we can do.

Hope all your to do lists are going well, and you will be on your way very soon.

As the time approaches and i get upset when i think about leaving our grandchildren i keep reminding myself how lucky we are that our grandchildren live in US at least it is only a short flight back compared to our friends who have family in Australia. I'm hoping this will help us to cope on the day we leave.

Take care Chris

Fish n Chips 56

Denise.

I see where your hubby is coming from and agree, if he can bring up 5 kids you two will do alright.

One of my biggest concerns is being able to own or rent a home in a decent area, I don't want to be so poor I live with people that are rough or dangerous, I want a cozy little bungalow that is easy to maintain, I love houses with stairs but as we get older a bungalow seems to be a smart choice.

I feel that we are thrifty too, we buy decent quality items that last, I must admit I do like to eat out but not expensive meals, just your good deal pub meals, I'm cheap to keep.

We don't need to keep up with the Joneses, we never have, a nice little car and we will be happy kids, As I see it Life is not a game of what you can afford, its about being healthy, happy and comfortable.

sallysimmons

How did you know cake and beer were two of my favorite things??

Thanks for the tips. All good ideas.

Fish n Chips 56

Sally...

I'm not sure you really can experience the real deal until you get there and are faced with the issues as they come to you.

Other posters have made some good common sense suggestions, much of it depends on how much money you have when you get back, and what you want to do with your life.

If you plan on buying a home when you return looking at houses is something I would do for sure, unless you have enough money to pay cash Id stop by a few building societys or banks and ask about time on job and down payments etc, I'm sure you can do that online but talking one on one always seems better to me, the UK bank people are so helpful and well informed, I think getting a loan would be harder now things have tightened up, a HUGE deposit might help sway things...
I look at homes every time we go back, I'm always dreaming/preparing...
I now look online before I go and print out info and sort out where I want to go and look, that way it saves me some time looking through the weekly paper, its amazing how a house can look like a good deal, then you see the location and why its priced so cheap, Google Earth and street view answers some of those questions for me now.

What are your biggest fear's ??? try to get those questions answered so you feel more at ease and know 99.9% you will be OK...

"This is particularly important for my husband as he's not at all enthused about the idea of moving home right now, but hasn't been back in a long time".

Right now or Ever??? he may need a little convincing it seems...

What are your husbands biggest fears/concerns ??? Id try to address those issues or he wont want to go back, you have to make it appeal to him without being too pushy, I know my wife gets tired of hearing me.

Id try and do something that appeals to your husband, something that might get him thinking positive thoughts about the UK, you know what interests him...

Go to the local market and shopping centre, get a feel for things that you will need to buy.

Id visit a few olde cute pubs where people our age go and have a good laugh and a joke, nothing beats that, go on busy nights for a great atmosphere.

Find a great chippy too, that's a must, I suppose that goes without saying, I'm just thinking you need to convice your husband.

If you are home put the telly on for match of the day if that appeals, I'm no sports fan but love to see a good football match so that cant hurt...

Id be sure to get some good sausage rolls and a pork sandwich from a local bakers or butchers, fresh baked bread and pastries, we all seem to love British food, he needs to be reminded of what he has been missing. He needs to be in love with this idea too, I'm guessing he needs to fall in love with the UK like he did with America.

Id probably take your mac and or a UK friendly phone as I think knowing where you are going and trying to call places is important and not so easy anymore unless you are keyed into the English way of life, look at Relocatemes first few weeks and how she felt lost and stranded, unless you have savvy family to help you some of the easy things seem very difficult at first.

Don't listen to the negative people, always move on for positive views, but be real and honest with yourself, its so easy to be lead down the garden path by the nay sayers and many Brits seem that way to me.

I love that you are going to Yorkshire, Its a beautiful county, I could live there myself.

jasper123

Yes Fish thats the way I think too, I love eating out ocasionaly but just nice wholesome pub food and a pint of bitter to wash it down,
And life is about being healthy, happy and comfortable, oh yes I second all that,
The more I think of how much better my life will be in UK and how much happier I will be being with my Mum and rest of family near by ---- I am now in the stage in my heart that if it were possible for me to go back home next week I would, but things take time, you cant wrap up 36 years over here in just a few weeks, my list of things to do is getting bigger the more I think, and I just dont want to forget even the smallest detail, and when you only have a couple of days a week on your days off to get things done,
I just have to stop complaining and get on with it thats all, once I start I will be alright,

When I get on that plane I want a nice clear mind knowing that I have taken care of everything --- and then all I have to think of is starting a brand new life and adventure, and starting a new chapter in my life,

my flight is still booked for November 30th, and I still want to bring the flight faward, but I dont think that it will be as early as July like I wanted,
You know Fish when you are on your own over here it is so much harder to get yourself motivated to start getting all the things done rather then if you had someone to do it with, it just gets so mindboggaling, and overwhelming,
and I dont even have a house to worry about selling like a lot of people,

Sometimes I just feel like driving to the top of one of our mountains here and screaming my head off and just let it all out,

Well you take care,
Rodney.

Englishmum

I'm not sure if you (Sally) lives in New York City or in upstate NY, but there are some genuine English chippies in NYC (I particularly like A Salt and Battery ):

http://www.chipshopnyc.com/ (2 chippies in Brooklyn)

http://www.asaltandbattery.com/menu (Greenwich Village)

and right next door is a British shop selling chocs, provisions and next door to that is the English cafe/tea shop 'Tea & Sympathy' where you can get English roast dinners:

http://www.teaandsympathynewyork.com/home.php

Myer's of Keswick is nearby too, where you can buy your sausages, pork pies, steak pies etc:

http://www.myersofkeswick.com/AboutUs.html

Fish n Chips 56

We have a couple of great chippys here in Oregon, after being here for so many years to find these places was just awesome, we go every week to one and try to visit the other one 50 miles away as often as possible, the fresh alaskan Cod is wonderful, Id even go as far as to say its better Cod than we get in the UK.

Fish n Chips 56

Im with you all the way Rod, you make lots of sense pal, Ive found that sometimes a drive to the top of a mountain or as high up as I can get is good therapy, it can make you feel good and clear your mind.

sallysimmons

Holey moley Batman! I'm near NYC so I have no idea how I didn't know about these places! That's my weekend plans all sewn up. Better eat only lettuce leaves between now and then

Fish n Chips, all your suggestions are great. I didn't think of going into the building societies to ask about mortgages but that's a great idea. With having our own business, we know we may face challenges. Might as well find out how bad it would be!

Rodney, I'm so sorry that it's tough for you right now. It probably doesn't make it any easier that you're still recuperating. I think doing something like this is a little bit like an alcoholic giving up drinking - if you think about everything you have to do, it seems impossible and overwhelming. But just take it one step at a time and before you know it, you will have done it all. I hope you feel better soon.

Fish n Chips 56

Sally...

On the forum I said...
''I'm not sure you really can experience the real deal until you get there and are faced with the issues as they come to you."

Here is an example,

When we went back in 89 I thought Id have easy time finding a car, and yes it was easy, but even though Id been used to driving large American 5 and 7 litre cars and had a perfect driving record they wanted a lot of money for anything in the 2 litre range that I was considering, we bought a 1.3 litre Corolla which was fine, the Insurance broker said there were only a few companies that would cover us, plus they didnt buy into my claim of being accident free either, I had no letters of proof to take with me, so for us it seemed like it was just a case of coughing up big money till we had lived there long enough to get these discounts, we came back 6 months later.

So if you need special vehicles for your business it might be a good idea to check out vehicle insurance prices in the UK too.

Fish n Chips 56

[QUOTE=jasper123;8556185]

I am now in the stage in my heart that if it were possible for me to go back home next week I would,
many of us feel that way believe me its true

but things take time, you cant wrap up 36 years over here in just a few weeks, my list of things to do is getting bigger the more I think, and I just dont want to forget even the smallest detail, and when you only have a couple of days a week on your days off to get things done,
I just have to stop complaining and get on with it thats all, once I start I will be alright,

When I get on that plane I want a nice clear mind knowing that I have taken care of everything --- and then all I have to think of is starting a brand new life and adventure, and starting a new chapter in my life, You know Fish when you are on your own over here it is so much harder to get yourself motivated to start getting all the things done rather then if you had someone to do it with, it just gets so mindboggaling, and overwhelming.


I do understand Rod...
Sallys advice is exactly what I would tell you, she's right on the money.

One step at a time and you will get there, Everything you need to do is easy it just takes time, If I were you Id get up on my day off so full of life knowing I was going to get things done TODAY, then go do it, make a list of all you need to do, and as you get something done cross it out with a red pen, keep adding to the list and keep doing all you need to do, make sure anything that is time sensitive you do first, so as not to trip up, after a month you can look at all your lists and you will be amazed how much you have got accomplished, I do this all the time.

I know if I got on this forum Im going to get less done in the day so sometimes I just cant look, but on the positive side I get things done that need to be done, maybe that might help you too, the messages are still waiting for me when I sign on.
Cheer up Rod you are going in the right direction and that is all that matters.

Fish n Chips 56

Wow EnglishMum those look Great, I had to read every page, Huhhh if I ever Visit NYC I will check them out.