A bit more sad than humorous. Some idiot here decided he was going to burn the stubble from his rice field in the jungle out the back of our house, it has not rained for over 3 weeks and the humidity is down below 40% and of course he managed to set fire to the jungle. Some 8 hours after the fire started and it was dark the fire engine nearly arrived, it only has one head light and it did not see the hole in the track, fire engine is now stuck, so they had to carry the water for the last half kilometer. Can't see any flames now so looks like they have managed to put it out, really lucky that it was not windy today otherwise it would have been a lot worse.

You have got to think of the positives, he now has a lot more cleared land to farm.

I think it might be a negative, the are burnt is up the slope from his field, if the rainy season starts with it's usual downpour there will most likely be a landslide into his rice field

I'm sure that would never be a consideration.

Well survived the party fallout, of which there was nearly none, so my wind-ups fell a bit flat really. Everyone enjoyed themselves, all 200+ of them. Yesterday was spent nursing a nasty hangover, too much of that very nice 15 year old Tanduay or maybe it was the beer can't remember. Madam spent most of her first day as a Senior Citizen in bed, looking about the same as I felt.

Well done its not a party until it is wasted all round

Went shopping with Her-in-Doors yesterday, we arrived at the checkout and when it came time to pay she proudly proffered her new Senior Citizens card. The checkout girl looked at it, looked at my missus and explained she could not accept it. It seems that my missus had not looked at the card, which contained her digitally aged photo ( I thought she had been given the proper one from the barangay captain, shall have a word with him on Monday ), if looks could kill I would be dead and so would the checkout girl as she obviously realised what had happened and burst into laughter. The car journey home was relatively quiet.

Stokkevn, just love your humorous episodes (and also from other contributors). Pls keep 'em coming!
In fact you should give some serious thought to puting some of your favourite Phil memories into a humorous book for publishing.
A family member with a particularly unusual sense of humour did just that, and it was a rib-tickling success. The opening tale Badshot and Samurai (the latter being a labrador dog) dampens my Y-Fronts just thinking about the story! For those absurdly zany or curious enough to want to know more, the book's title was The Misadventures of Mr Badshot.
Methinks Stokk's ScrewBall Phil Tales could be equally rewarding. I'd be one of the first to purchase a copy.........

I have written one about the humorous and dark times in my 40 years in the oil industry and am now about a third or the way through one entitled Should I Retire to the Philippines? Full of the humorous, the sad and the ridiculous. Neither are for sale but if any one wants a copy just ping me a PM. Not sure when my one about the Philippines will be finished, I keep getting sidetracked by cold beer.

I would love to read it. From time to time members have opened threads telling their stories...why don’t you do the same?

A few days ago took a few of the family swimming at the local resort. One of the kids could not swim so I took along a pair of arm bands, after a couple of paddles around the shallow end the parents were convinced that they kept him afloat and left him to play with his cousins. A few minutes later someone shouted, everyone looked towards the pool and all you could see was a pair of feet sticking out of the water with arm bands around the ankles, we got him out no worse for wear. Apparently one of his older cousins persuaded him to try it

Is that how synchronised swimmers train?

A common Spanish christian name and reknown for walking on the water, was that older cousin named Jesus by any chance.....

Was at a birthday party this evening and took along some snacks my brother had sent me, as usual they were pounced upon by both kids and adults. I did learn one thing, Filipinos do NOT like Twiglets. Seeing their faces go from "I got one!" to "What the bloody hell is that?" was priceless.

My wife gave away a bar of soap that she found in the downstairs shower to an elderly auntie without telling me. A while after the deed was done she mentioned it, I told her it was the dog's shampoo. Shock horror, followed by pleads not to tell her auntie that she got the dog soap. Still not sure if I want the brownie points or to see auntie's face when she finds out. Tough one that but I have stopped throwing sticks down the garden for the dogs in case auntie gallops after one.