Humorous Episodes
Oct 12th 2018, 12:31 pm
#91
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Yesterday while walking the dogs I came across 2 surveyors marking out our track as it is going to be turned into a concrete road. They obviously did not have laser measurement tools but what they did have was a 50m tape measure ( missing 3.25m off the end ), no hammer, no marker pins, no paper & no pencil. They measured the distance and with a piece of bamboo took the missing 3.25m away from the measured distance by calculating it in the sand, the marker pins were replaced by bits of bamboo donated by wife's cousin, hammer was replaced by a large piece of bamboo found by the river and the flag markers were retrieved plastic sacks from the new recycle bins. They seemed happy with their work so went home, within minutes all those with properties affected by the new road were out and moved the bamboo pins to where there thought they should be. Nobody from the road building contractor seemed to notice that their proposed road had changed shape, so today the drainage units were installed and cemented in. The road incline is about 4 to 5 meters over about 300m distance, the new drainage box is now about 1m from the highest point.
Oct 12th 2018, 5:30 pm
#92
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Oct 13th 2018, 2:32 pm
#93
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Just received a red cross box from my brother, in it were my usual selection of extra strong mints, fisherman's friends etc, reminded me on my first trip to the Philippines. While sitting on M-i-L's veranda reading my book and enjoying some Trebor Extra Strong Mints a pair of little eyes peered over the veranda wall looking directly at my packet of mints, so I got one out and gave it to him. His face went from pure pleasure to absolute horror as he put it in his mouth, he quickly took it out and gave it to his sister with the same results. This one Trebor mint went through 7 mouths, all with the same result, before it was thrown over the fence. Interest in my sweets dropped immensely after that.
Oct 14th 2018, 1:02 pm
#94
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Be careful of little old ladies at Manila airport. The last time I left I was standing in the queue outside for about 20 minutes for the first security check, I was about 10 people away from the security check when this quite posh elderly lady came up to me asking how I had been keeping since last time etc, she obviously knew me but I had no idea who she was so I tried a few of the vague questions to try and ascertain where she knew me from but still no bells went off. That was until we reached the security check where she put her bags in the machine, gathered them up the other side and was off like Linford Christie. I had just been used.
Feb 9th 2019, 1:42 pm
#95
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Re: Humorous Episodes
The other day in the local wet market one of the stall holders was eating her breakfast when a customer arrived, she placed her breakfast plate on a veg create while she served the customer, job done she returned to her breakfast only to find the plate totally clean. What she had not seen was my dog cleaning her plate while she served the customer. I felt a bit sorry for her but instead of owning up, I bought some veg from her.
For those of you who use local wet markets where there are dogs, do NOT buy the pork chops from the front row, I have seen more than one recovered from dogs mouths and placed back from where it was stolen.
For those of you who use local wet markets where there are dogs, do NOT buy the pork chops from the front row, I have seen more than one recovered from dogs mouths and placed back from where it was stolen.
Feb 9th 2019, 2:10 pm
#96
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Unfortunately not. When the cement provider eventually turned up to measure the volume required all the maker posts had either been moved or removed so the road was filled with rubble from the mine instead and left.
Feb 25th 2019, 12:56 pm
#97
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Re: Humorous Episodes
This maybe one of my last posts here if things do not go well. Next month my wife is 60, but definitely does not look it or want anyone to know she is that old. So red rag to a bull I have arranged to have a big party at a cousins warehouse ( he is under the threat of death if he says anything ), invites will be given out at the last moment of course advertising the reason for the party. I have arranged with the local barangay captain ( same deal as cousin ) to print out a Senior Citizen card with a photo that I have doctored with an aging app, this will be presented to her during the party.
If it does not go so well it has been nice knowing you all. If I survive I will report back at end next month.
If it does not go so well it has been nice knowing you all. If I survive I will report back at end next month.
Feb 25th 2019, 1:35 pm
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Feb 25th 2019, 1:38 pm
#100
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Feb 25th 2019, 1:41 pm
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Mar 16th 2019, 12:56 pm
#103
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Re: Humorous Episodes
Could not get a wheelchair but have managed to acquire a Zimmer Frame. Party is still a secret ( her in doors still thinks a few relatives are coming round for a BBQ ). 9 days to go.
