BEVS

Subscribed to this thread.
I shall have a slow read of the previous pages come the evening.

Tweedpipe

Brilliant!

Stokkevn

Just returned from a friend who wanted to borrow a suitcase for his hols, on my walk there someone asked where I was going, pointing at the suitcase, I replied that I was fed up and going back home. After a couple of beers with my friend I returned home to panic and tears, four relatives/friends had turned up telling 'her in doors' that I was leaving her and returning to the UK, luckily she already knew what the suitcase was for. By the time I arrived home I thought I was going to get lynched. I think next time I am seen with a suitcase I will tell them I work for NASA and am off to the moon.

Red_Wine_Fairy

Living life on the edge Good job your missus appreciated the sense of humour. Bring us all back a space rock

Stokkevn

She must have a good sense of humour she lived in Aberdeen for nearly 30 years.

Stokkevn

In our village the spider fighting season is on us again. The spiders are small jumping spiders and the people who have them seem to spend more on their spiders ( feeding them minced prawn or crab meat ) than they do on their family. One lad reckoned he had a champion spider so I said I would challenge him one day, they accepted seeing easy money from a foreigner who has no idea what he was doing. So today I went down with my spider, he put his in the enclosure I opened the box I had and emptied a huge Huntsman spider in there, it was surprisingly agile and had devoured his in a few seconds accompanied by howls of laughter from all his friends that had come to watch. I ended up giving the poor looser a couple of hundred peso so he could buy some new spiders.

Stokkevn

Today my wife reminded me about when I arrived in the hospital when she had brain surgery a while ago. I was presented with a bill for amongst other things a "Welcome Pack", I enquired from the nurse what was in the welcome pack, the nurse replied that it was the essentials needed while staying in hospital - toothbrush/paste, wash cloths, soap, cotton wool, cotton buds, adult nappies and amongst other things a comb. I pointed to my wife who had hair less than 1mm over her whole head saying that I assume I was going to get a refund for the comb. They must have listened as on the final bill was minus P7 for comb - not required. I didn't think that would actually take me seriously.

Feidlimid

Went out to source some chicken wire/ PVC equivalent today and to get an idea on cost. I thought I’d start with one of the well-established hardware stores before approaching the more localised shops. The label on one of the rolls read: Length-10m, Width-3. It didn’t look like 3m so I called over an assistant. As he gets out his tape measure I made a suggestion to him. Could it be that they mean 3ft? Yep he replies, it’s 3ft. That's odd I said, but he just gave me a blank expression. It was one of those situations where I quickly concluded that further dialogue on the subject was pointless so I headed off to the local stores only to find that the next two I checked used exactly the same method of measuring. The product length was always in metres but the width was always in feet (usually 3 or 4 ft.) Am I missing something?

bestvue

sounds about par for the course..

Stokkevn

No! I changed my taps in the bathroom not long ago. I now have one that closes clockwise and the other anti-clockwise

Philosophical 11

And why are light switches sometimes fitted upside down? I have a block of switches for the outside security lights and some are on when pressed down and some are off. To check I have to go outside and see whats left switched on. Go back inside and operate what I think is the offending switch and then find I have another light switched on. Yes, I know there is an easy answer, but its still annoying just the same....

Regards

Gazza-d

I'd be checking the lenght wasn't 10 feet as well.

Stokkevn

My wife and I were discussing P11 situation about trust/possible boyfriend etc. She asked me what I would do if I caught her doing that. I said I would offer him her pocket money to keep her. The sofa is not that uncomfortable really.

David Mashael

Not so strange. If you think of the sinks they have in clinics and medical centres, they are like this, with extended handles on the taps. I assume its so that the doctor can close both taps using his elbows without touching the taps and contaminating his hands after his scrub.

Stokkevn

The ones I have are screw top taps.