alipally

You think this is bad you want to have a look at the goodbye Perth, hello QLD thread!!!

hevs

Not if you're philophosizing on there thanks!

Please someone spell that for me?! pmsl!

worzel

I stand by my initial reply that attitude is the most important thing. But after a couple of really good nights in with friends this weekend I wish to add that getting a bunch of really good mates makes all the difference too.

But then, we only found these good friends by pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zone when we arrived, took up every invite, didn't get down when some potential friends didn't embrace us and persevered because we knew no one and that solving this would be vital. So I guess that still comes back to attitude with an element of fortune. You make your own luck, as they say.

hevs

I agree to an extent Worzel, but sometimes it just all gets to hard. I have embraced the Aussie culture for all its worth (I even have Essendon membership LOL) BUT somewhere along the line felt I was loosing "me" and wasn't willing to do that.

Badge mentioned Buzzys "luck" in the same way he used to mention ours. That luck can change in the blink of an eye and when it does the whole of your life, where you are, who you are without etc etc is brought to the front and is very confronting. Its fair to say that I have been through a wide range of emotions during the last 5 years, and whilst doing so steered very clear of here as its far from conjusive to rational thought! Far to many judgemental people calling you a whinger and telling you you don't have "the right attitude" Which, in my opionion is pretty low.

Me is who I am. I am happy in my skin now. I have accepted Australias flaws along with my own and am starting, after 5 years, to really feel like I belong and I now have some very good friends by my side, both expats and Aussies. FORCING it, for me, was wrong. Having so many people tell me to force it was wrong. Time is what is needed, thats all. Time to decide one way or another what is right for yourself, not what others deem the "missing link" to be.

LOL, you could argue that me telling others what to do is exactly what I'm doing, thats not my intention, just my take on my feelings, cos thats what they are, MY feelings. Same as any other poster who "FEELS" something is wrong...they feel it, just cos someone else doesn't feel it, doesn't make that poster wrong.

And to the poster hiding under the guise of philosophy? Sorry love but your head is well and truly somewhere it possibly can't see the light of day! Responsible for our actions? oooh yeah! Responsible for seeing where it just all might go tits up in a big way? Errm..how about NO?! Life is many many shades of grey and to put life into so many closed black and white boxes is rather scary. I wish you luck, though with your lifes mantra, I doubt very much you'll need it

sonlymewalter

Good post

Perception is in the eye of the beholder. This applies to all walks of life. We all have good days and not so good days whether you live here or in UK and it's these alongside lifes experiences and personal values that makes someone the person they are. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what anyone else says, or what social background someone comes from, or what conversations you've had with people on trains, busses or how lovely Aussies are or how crap living here is or how great living here is, it's all about personal perception and what individual preferences people have. Just because someone loves it or hates it, doesn't make them a better or lesser person which is what some are saying on here.

People should just accept differences of opinion and leave it at that without having to degrade someone for thinking differently. Reasoned debate is about putting forward a viewpoint without making people feel inadequate or daft for thinking differently.

Like you say, it's all about being "me"

Cheetah7

Very good point Hevs.

I have found alot of the local women and men to be very superficial indeed. One guy said to me last week 'You are quite pretty and in good shape considering you are 40 years old'.

I looked at him, short, bald and 40 himself and I said to him 'Have you looked in the mirror and checked your birth certificate love?' and then went on to tell him that I have noticed how being over 30 seems to be a crime in Perth, getting older or putting on weight or daring not to be attractive also seems to be an offence punished by imprisonment.

He laughed and when I asked him why they seemed to run towards old age the moment they hit 30 and more so women were seen as seniors more than the men, he couldn't answer. He was shocked when I said that women in their 40's were having babies, people like my Dad who is pushing 70 were still enjoying working and not going into retirement homes.

He also said to me 'You had better get buffed up and in shape for the beach in the summer' and a female colleague asked me if I was going to run up and down that pissing stupid Jacobs Ladder in the park to get fit.

Some girls here are obsessed with their weight and none of them are fat, they are all lovely looking and it is as though they need permission to let go and be normal.

Well last week I said to this guy 'I don't know where I fit in with Perth life, I love you all and you have become very good friends but you won't see me in a bikini, I swim in a T shirt to avoid a tan, I eat when I am hungry (although being ill I have lost some weight) and I would rather chop my legs off than run up Jacobs ladder' - although pilates/yoga is OK as I did that in the UK.

He was quite surprised to hear me say that said that 'it was OK and he liked a girl who was different.

Different? I would say we probably are but I tell you one thing - I have made it clear to one or two people that I will not force myself to fit in with the 'Perth image', I will not slate the UK to be accepted and I most certainly will not starve myself or push myself into an image that isn't me.

I like it here and if I am going to get fit for anyone, it will be for myself and noone else.

And so far that attitude has served me quite well - for a plump 40 year old that is

Geelong Gent

True

Without going into too much detail, Buzzy has come out the positive side of downward luck himself. I make the point because too often people get the wrong impression and assume he is bragging on his housebuild, whereas they should be happy for him and share his enjoyment for the journey he has come he deserves it.

dave_woodsy

Exactly. Theres too many people on here who think cos they think its absolutely marvellous here , or completely sh1te for that matter, that everyone else should think the same. Everyones different and has different likes / dislikes and needs and they are often things that you don't about yourself until you make the move.

I don't really think attitude has got that much to do with it . Plenty of people migrate here from the UK , or elsewhere , and come with the right attitude but eventually decide its not for them. Sometimes a change of circumstances or luck may bring this on but ultimately Australia is not fgoing to suit everyone.

Geelong Gent

I agree but disagree

I am in with the attitude camp - but I realise not all people will love it here for a number of reasons.

Its not a matter of having to stay or enjoy things others say you must. Its about living life fully hearted not half hearted.

hevs

Pretty much sums up the point I'm trying to make...Though It wasn't in anyway aimed at Buzzy (though to expect people to feel happy/ anything much eitherway.. for him when they don't know his circumstances maybe asking a little much ) I used it as an annalogy because sometimes people just don't get any luck at all. Imagine if us, or indeed Buzzy's, outcomes had been different and nothing seemed to be picking up- going right- or simply gelling....It begins to grate and get you down......No light at the end of the tunnel....

True- there are some people who are negative weather they be from the UK, Australia or timbuckto, but what gals me is the appaling generalisations that say people have the wrong attitude-whinge too much- don't TRY hard enough, don't live life to the full, glass half empty,....For some its just that they don't feel right here. Thats sad for them and I think thats enough....

michdp

hear hear... well said Rapsody!
I'm sick of judgemental posts when people haven't even made the move here yet themselves... I agree wholeheartedly with your comments.Do not assume you know what people are thinking if you haven't walked in their shoes is my motto...
By the way, we love it here & I think it helped that we'd been here before but holidays, even month stays here, like we did are no preparation for actually living here. An open mind to what you'll experience when you move certainly helped us & gets us through the rollercoaster that is life here. We can imagine what our life will be like when we arrive in Australia but it rarely turns out exactly as we imagine to start with for probably a lot of people on this site. We moved here for a better lifestyle & got it but it hasn't been easy. 3 years on a rollercoaster but we're still smiling & accept Australia, good & bad as our chosen home.

sonlymewalter

I don't think it's attitude either. Some people are whinging poms granted, but the majority are good folk who gave up their life to effectively start again and for whatever reason they have found the faults in Aus are not for them and they don't like it.

Aus isn't for everyone. It's not utopia and there are faults because as with any country, Aus sure has them.

For us, we see the faults, admit they are there and try to change where we can to fit in or stand up to be counted to make changes for the better. That's because we happen to love it here and think it's worth fitting in where we can and changing things for the better as well as being ourselves without trying to be "Aussies". I think we're respected far more for it and at the end of the day we are not Australian, although we are very proud and privileged to live here

Buzzy--Bee

Errr thanks guys but this isn't about me......!

There are that many many things that have gone wrong for us since we've been in Australia, the issues with our landlord, the massive issues in dealing with anyone in the building industry, and several other things that I don't want to discuss here, but in answer to the OP, the difference is that I don't subscribe to the theory that the issues are due to anything but our own decisions and actions, and these inconveniences are so outweighed by the enjoyment we get from living here that they don't seem as great as they might have done if we were living somewhere we weren't happy....

Does that make sense?

Buzzy

asprilla

Makes perfect sense to me ! cheers

alipally

And to the poster hiding under the guise of philosophy? Sorry love but your head is well and truly somewhere it possibly can't see the light of day! Responsible for our actions? oooh yeah! Responsible for seeing where it just all might go tits up in a big way? Errm..how about NO?! Life is many many shades of grey and to put life into so many closed black and white boxes is rather scary. I wish you luck, though with your lifes mantra, I doubt very much you'll need it [/QUOTE]

I'm not hiding, I take responsibility for my actions and writings, you will also note, if you read that much, that I apologised for the offence caused..... I received no such apology from Rabsody, who called me the most offensive word, then made excuses for her actions..... which I'm sure you all read!

Taking responsibility for my actions seems to have given me a good education, a great career, a happy 20 year marriage, 2 wonderful children, world travel and opportunities to live in different countries around the world. I'm no spring chicken. I make difficult choices like the everyone else. Not least being that my Eldest is a Uni Student and has decided to stay in the UK this time. I make mistakes, like everyone else but I take responsibility, and live with the consequences, or take action to rectify them.... The following link explains it a bit more fully, but it's a bit long winded to put in a post.

http://www.coping.org/growth/accept.htm