a joke
Feb 13th 2017, 1:27 am
#511
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,274
Re: a joke
I was in a bar in Australia and the guy on the next stool was looking sad.
"Yis got problems, mate?" I asked....using an Ozzy accent.
Sad chap replies 'Yip! me gal was sunnin' starkers and got bit on her fanny...it's swollen shut."
I commiserated "Bummer, mate."
"Bonzer idea!" he exclaimed "good on yih, mate."....gulped his beer and left.
"Yis got problems, mate?" I asked....using an Ozzy accent.
Sad chap replies 'Yip! me gal was sunnin' starkers and got bit on her fanny...it's swollen shut."
I commiserated "Bummer, mate."
"Bonzer idea!" he exclaimed "good on yih, mate."....gulped his beer and left.
Feb 13th 2017, 2:50 pm
#512
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Maple Ridge, Super Natural British Columbia
Posts: 2,071
Re: a joke
The guy who invented predictive text died last night...
his funfair is next monkey
his funfair is next monkey
Feb 17th 2017, 11:28 am
#514
Oscar nominated
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 50,858
Re: a joke
Feb 28th 2017, 4:22 pm
#515
Binned by Muderators
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,682
Re: a joke
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 at me. Fortunately, my injuries are super fish oil.
Feb 28th 2017, 8:09 pm
#517
Binned by Muderators
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,682
Re: a joke
When I heard there is a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
Mar 5th 2017, 10:54 pm
#518
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: a joke
A guy walks into a bar and orders a pint. The barman can't help but notice that the guy has an enormous orange head.
So, as he hands the pint to they guy, he asks, "Sorry to be so obvious, but I can't help but notice your big orange head. How did that happen?"
"Well," said the guy. "I found this old bottle on the beach, so I picked it up and gave it a rub. Of course, a genie popped out and granted me three wishes."
"For the first wish, I asked for the usual riches - millions in the bank, always have money in my pocket for whatever I want, you know?"
The barman nodded. "And the second wish was...?"
"Oh, have a guess... women. I wanted to be successful with women. Well, I got that too, I now have the ability to charm any woman I want into bed."
"Cool!" said the barman. "And the third wish...?"
"Ahhhh," said the man, with a long sigh. "I wished for a giant orange head."
So, as he hands the pint to they guy, he asks, "Sorry to be so obvious, but I can't help but notice your big orange head. How did that happen?"
"Well," said the guy. "I found this old bottle on the beach, so I picked it up and gave it a rub. Of course, a genie popped out and granted me three wishes."
"For the first wish, I asked for the usual riches - millions in the bank, always have money in my pocket for whatever I want, you know?"
The barman nodded. "And the second wish was...?"
"Oh, have a guess... women. I wanted to be successful with women. Well, I got that too, I now have the ability to charm any woman I want into bed."
"Cool!" said the barman. "And the third wish...?"
"Ahhhh," said the man, with a long sigh. "I wished for a giant orange head."
Aug 16th 2017, 1:12 pm
#521
Oscar nominated
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 50,858
Re: a joke
Aug 25th 2017, 12:10 am
#522
Stand-up Philosopher
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Regina Saskatchewan
Posts: 16,344
Re: a joke
Around what time did Sean Connery show up at the Wimbledon Final?
Tennish.
Tennish.
Sep 9th 2017, 5:29 pm
#523
.
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 20,185
Re: a joke
Last edited by Oink; Sep 9th 2017 at 5:32 pm.
