Originally Posted by ljaw2002uk

If you don't have something constructive or helpful to say to the poster, then why not say nothing instead?

Originally Posted by bivlover

Giving people facts and truth is one thing, and it's very welcome, as far as I'm concerned. Being rude to them is another thing entirely.

Originally Posted by bivlover

"Dufus" is an acronym for "Dumb ugly f**ked up soldier". I don't really see how using that word, to describe a person on an internet forum you know next to nothing about, equates to showing respect. But then again, people are a diverse bunch and we all have different standards for ourselves, and for what we expect of others.

In any case, I wasn't specifically referring to what you said, Boiler - it was more a general plea for people to be respectful.

Look, to me it's perfectly simple. If one doesn't like what someone has posted, or finds it boring, or one is jaded by having the same conversation over and over again, JUST DON'T GET INVOLVED. Unless I missed something, participation in this forum is voluntary.

Let me put it another way. Say you move to a new town, and you try and meet your neighbours by going to community events and meetings. Many of them are friendly, but some of the more senior members shout at you and tell you not to say anything until you are fully familiar with all the town's byelaws and customs. They call you names and make you feel stupid every time you open your mouth. Kind of makes you regret moving there. That is often how this forum feels.

Originally Posted by Boiler

I googled it as I had never comes across that definition, it did not come up on the first few pages.

Interestingly most of the hits were whether it was a valid word for use in Scrabble.

I did not bother looking to see what the answer was.

Originally Posted by bivlover

Look, to me it's perfectly simple. If one doesn't like what someone has posted, or finds it boring, or one is jaded by having the same conversation over and over again, JUST DON'T GET INVOLVED. Unless I missed something, participation in this forum is voluntary.

Originally Posted by discoviking

I couldn't agree more, but that goes both ways. If some of the replies being posted bother you, move on. Don't get involved. As you correctly stated, participation is voluntary.

But keep in mind that something one person may interpret as rude, may not necessarily be interpreted as rude by someone else. There is a very fine and sometimes blurry line between rudeness and brutal honesty - and people interpret things differently.

I have been on this board for a couple of years now, and have seen very few posts i would consider offensive made by the regulars. Brutal honesty, yes - but I never got a sense that anyone here relishes crushing someone's dream.

I like the board just the way it is - and I am not even a brit. Expat, yes - but not a british expat. Never been to the UK actually - but I digress. If this place ever changes into a place where everyone sits around singing kum-ba-ya and blow sunshine up someone's behind, I'm out of here.

Originally Posted by Ja5on

It's fine being honest but someone could easily say, "sorry there really isn't any chance of you getting into the US the way your planning on doing it"

Rather than, "Did you even bother to read the wiki? I'm sick of questions like this, stop wasting our time"



If I know the answer to something then I will give it, why spend my time on a forum telling people to look for answers on their own? It kinda makes the idea of posting pretty pointless. My brother didn't use this website for that exact reason.....Less traffic means less revenue. Mods should be on top of this more than they are because in the long run it costs the site money.

Originally Posted by dbj1000

May I be the first in this thread to tell all the whingers to f'eck off?

...in an entirely respectful and informative manner.

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl

So why don't you or some of the others who are complaining do just that? Stick around, welcome and help new members.

FYI mods donate their time to these forums.

Originally Posted by Ja5on

I understand that, I have stuck around and I do try to help out with questions that I know the answers to....But on the same side of people having a go at new people, if I give an answer that people don't agree with then I end up with a bunch of abuse.....

Someone asked about leaving debt in the UK and I told them there is no law stopping them doing it, I got a bunch of people giving me a hard time because they didn't like my opinion.

Originally Posted by AmerLisa

But how do you know someone isn't going to have issues if they did that?

Originally Posted by AmerLisa

Can you do that in every thread? Or is this just a one off?

Originally Posted by Ja5on

I gave information based on what I know and actions that I have taken in the past.....People make their own decisions. I was given a hard time about giving immoral advice.

Originally Posted by dbj1000

I think my past record indicates that one may do this in every thread, but then the wingers whinge about it.