Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142164)

People who bug others about having kids or tell others you will regret it if you don't have kids.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142390)

Yeah, why do people do that? There's enough of us knocking about the world as it is, if someone wants to be child free, I say fair play to them.

I mean, I love my kids, but I'm sure I'd be OK had I not met my wife and I didn't have any right now as well. It's really shitty to be giving others a hard time for not having any. Sometimes I think people who don't have kids are lucky. Then I feel guilty about it, of course, but still.

Originally Posted by mrken30 (Post 12142511)

The other thing that people get stick about is being single or not being married. Some people just enjoy having their own space, there is nothing wrong with that.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142521)

Agreed.

Originally Posted by mrken30 (Post 12142511)

The other thing that people get stick about is being single or not being married. Some people just enjoy having their own space, there is nothing wrong with that.

Originally Posted by Steerpike (Post 12142589)

I'm single / no kids, and I live in a country where no other living relative lives. Now that I'm getting into my late 50s, and seeing first-hand what my mom is going through (old age!), I'm realizing that having kids may have been a wise choice :)

Originally Posted by Steerpike (Post 12142589)

I'm single / no kids, and I live in a country where no other living relative lives. Now that I'm getting into my late 50s, and seeing first-hand what my mom is going through (old age!), I'm realizing that having kids may have been a wise choice :)

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142390)

Yeah, why do people do that? There's enough of us knocking about the world as it is, if someone wants to be child free, I say fair play to them.

I mean, I love my kids, but I'm sure I'd be OK had I not met my wife and I didn't have any right now as well. It's really shitty to be giving others a hard time for not having any. Sometimes I think people who don't have kids are lucky. Then I feel guilty about it, of course, but still.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142652)

One thing we have thought about, old age may be a bit more lonely and difficult not having kids/grand-kids/family around.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142652)

If we could have kids the mostly free way, we might have considered having one, but the other way isn't cheap, so it's not something we will pursue.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142652)

My uncles on my mom's side are both mostly single, late 50's/mid 60's and never had kids and seem quite happy, they never seem to act like they missed out on anything, they certainly would not have had the life they have had if they were married with kids.

Of my siblings they all had at least 2 kids, so plenty of grandchildren for my parents...

The people who bug us about it are people we barely know which is even more annoying.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142679)

The payoff is that your late 20s and early middle age are essentially ruined in order to get the care you need in your 70s :sneaky:

Originally Posted by Anian (Post 12142687)

Invest the money you saved from not having kids into a nice carehome and hope you don't outlive the cash to stay there.

Originally Posted by Anian (Post 12142687)

Invest the money you saved from not having kids into a nice carehome and hope you don't outlive the cash to stay there.

Originally Posted by zargof (Post 12142695)

Unlikely as you don't have the stress of having children sending you to an early grave.

You could spend all your money drinking, smoking and eating deep fried bacon to achieve the same effect though.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142679)

The payoff is that your late 20s and early middle age are essentially ruined in order to get the care you need in your 70s :sneaky:




Trust me, there is no cheap way to have kids. Maybe the birth can be made mostly free but the shit they need racks up. As I said, I love my children dearly, but **** me if they aren't a money pit :D

Not trying to put you off but I will hazard a guess from your post history that you're around my age (late 30s), and if you're happy as you are now child free, there's nothing wrong with that at all. On the flip side, don't use cost as an excuse not to have one as well, if you both decide you really do want to have a kid/kids before you get into your 40s.



Everyone's different. I know I like to joke about palming mine off on someone else, but what would I be doing if I hadn't met my wife and was still single/child free? Probably nothing any more interesting or fun than I do now.

But your last sentence is the key - some people just need to mind their own business.

Almost as bad though are the people who, once you are settled with two kids and are happy not to have more, keep bugging you with 'Don't you want another one' every time they see you.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142726)

If I had a kid my 20's would have sucked, I know that much. No way I could have flown around every weekend and did the things I did. My sisters still get jealous at times of the freedom we have.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142726)

I just meant creating the kid mostly free, nothing beyond that is free or cheap I know.

We can't conceive without In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and that isn't exactly a low cost procedure, so things beyond on control kind of made the decision for us, although adoption from the government might be an option.

Originally Posted by Jsmth321 (Post 12142726)

We are approaching late 30's, 38 for me in April, 37 for her in September.

Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing (Post 12142732)

It might not have sucked, but it certainly would have been different.

It worked out quite well for me, I got married at 26 and inherited a 6 year old son at that point, by which stage I'd already kind of got the whole farting about, being free and single stuff out of the way.



OK, I understand now, that does add an extra dimension of cost and difficulty for you.



Ah, I did guess right, I'm just a couple of months younger than you.