Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7225277)

so...is it possible for a man and a woman to be 'just' friends...

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7225511)

if both are Atheist ..she shouldn't complain much ... and she should expect that this may hapen in the future again .. and again .. when it comes to sex . there is no such thing called love that will stop a man from going after it.

Originally Posted by Charismatic (Post 7229358)

O/T - Squirty I see you've resolved your dancing shoes for salsa, I hope those points are steralised :lol:.

Originally Posted by MataHari (Post 7225093)

there is no answer...if she cannot get over it and move on then that's the end...we can all say it's not a big deal but if it is for her then she must do what she thinks is best...even if it might not be...
the idea that one person is your everything is a bit weird in my opinion...it's a lot to live upto...

Originally Posted by Squirty Cream (Post 7228662)

How long have they been together and did they live together before they got married?

I know this might seem a bit harsh, but I think that sometimes when couples live together before they get married, if the relationship starts to flag instead of seriously thinking about and then perhaps separating they get married in the hope it will 'revive' things. Could that be something that happened here?

Trust is easy to destroy and very, very hard to rebuild - it can take ages and sometimes never is rebuilt. It's a very personal thing - does she even want to try? Trial separation, IMHO never work..... we are human and we start to adapt (even if we don't realilse) as soon as the other person walks out the door.

Loving someone - doesn't mean that you have to 'need' them or build your life around them to the point that you can't be independent - a relationship should surely be about mutual respect, trust and partnership? Ah, there's the trust word again....... dilemma for sure.

Originally Posted by Norm_uk (Post 7229437)

Please explain this statement.

Are you suggesting Atheists have no morals and are incapable of having decent relationships or feeling love like any other human being?

Awaiting your answer!

N.

Originally Posted by cherrypie1 (Post 7229732)

I agree totally. While some might think give him another chance and others think get rid, it is how she thinks that matters. If she cannot get over his 'infidelity' then there is no point in taking things further, it will never work. Maybe she is the jealous type and so he thought he could not tell her he had a lady friend for fear of her reaction, if this is so, and she will never change, then surely they cannot carry on their relationship, however sad this may be, you have to have some trust. If they were having sex however, after only 6 months of marriage, things are doomed. Normally you would still be in the honeymoon period then and things are still lovey dovey. I have male friends, my husband has female friends, it's not a problem, anyway, he knows that if anything went on between them I would f**king kill him! :D

Originally Posted by Confucius (Post 7230267)

What amazes me more is the 20yo making love to the 57yo...
Even if that didn't happen, imagine a 20yo hangin' around with a 57yo...Unless he is the owner of an adult publication...

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

with pleasure

a religious man sometimes may stop having an affair because he have some written instructions that orders him not to do so.

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

an atheist within marriage (which i really don't see the point of it in his case) have nothing written that orders him not to do it.

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

if a religious man starts an affair outside marrige.. there is a chance that he regret and follow his book again.

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

if an atheist man starts an affair because he like it ... love alone may not be enough for him to stop this attitude and remember love is not something written or that valuable.... it if was .... why did he started the affair originally..

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

whereas.... written instructions in holy books are sometimes more important to the followers than their own life.

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

i hope it is clear now i never meant anything bad.

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230730)

it was just a talk about the number of important things that contributes toward the behavior of a human ..which are more in the case of a religious man.

Originally Posted by Norm_uk (Post 7232139)

So you are suggesting the only reason religious people get married and stay faithful is because they have a book telling to so? Is that the only basis for their morality...a book? What if they have the wrong book? What would be the right book? Who decides that?



I know many married Atheists...you're quite wrong in your judgment of Atheists I think...but I understand why. You have a book that teaches you Atheists are completely evil and without morals. Even if you never met an Atheist you would believe this no?



So the only reason religious people behave ethically is because they have a book that tells them what to do....



I find that completely insulting and also untrue. You are suggesting that Atheists do not place value on love. Do you know that Atheists have a lower rate of divorce than religious people in countries where statistics are available like the USA?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fdVucvo-kDU



Yes like when they have crusades and jihads against each other because they have different books and must kill each other to prove who is right.. Or when they will not tolerate other humans simply because of what they believe or don't believe...when they tell other people how to life their life or give non-believers less human rights?



Perhaps you did not but you have insulted millions of non-religious people around the world who are decent, kind and loving human beings...people like Warren Buffett (who has given more than $37billion to charity), Bill Gates (who has given more than $30billion to charity)...they are motivated to make the world better themselves rather than wait for some invisible god no one can see or hear to do something.



A human being does not need religion to behave well.

If you don't believe in the supernatural and the afterlife you have to make sure you live this life well because there is no second chance...

N

Originally Posted by cherrypie1 (Post 7229732)

I agree totally. While some might think give him another chance and others think get rid, it is how she thinks that matters. If she cannot get over his 'infidelity' then there is no point in taking things further, it will never work. Maybe she is the jealous type and so he thought he could not tell her he had a lady friend for fear of her reaction, if this is so, and she will never change, then surely they cannot carry on their relationship, however sad this may be, you have to have some trust. If they were having sex however, after only 6 months of marriage, things are doomed. Normally you would still be in the honeymoon period then and things are still lovey dovey. I have male friends, my husband has female friends, it's not a problem, anyway, he knows that if anything went on between them I would f**king kill him! :D

Originally Posted by Beard Man (Post 7230738)

do you mean it that you will kill him?

Originally Posted by The Dean (Post 7232246)

if anything went on between them I would f**king kill him!

Interesting point of view............

............ but would you also kill the female friend who surely has betrayed you just as badly??

Originally Posted by cherrypie1 (Post 7232375)

Yes ;). No of course not really, I wouldn't serve time and leave my children without a mother or a father because he was such a knob, wouldn't be worth it, although I would probably feel like it.