OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Jan 10th 2010, 7:40 pm
#1051
Home Sweet Home
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Surrey, England
Posts: 5,128
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
OMG, this is the most active thread on this forum as far as I can see.
Please see my introductory post:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...19#post8225319
I have been feeling sooooo bad about my decision to move back here this past week and feeling really very guilty at leaving my family behind in Australia. I just got my new Sky phone connection which lets me phone Australia for £5.00 per month and my daughter told me on Friday that she had told the grand-kids I was probably not coming back to live there and they both cried. It is also my eldest grand-daughter's 14th birthday tomorrow and my daughter posted on Facebook all these sweet little pics of her from babyhood to now.
Thank God I have found this thread tonight, because I know that I am not the only one in this boat.............off to do some mighty big reading from the start of this thread. Thank you all sooo much for being here with your posts just when I needed you and whoever started this thread it has been a Godsend to me tonight.
I wish you all well with your oh so difficult (for many) decisions. How strange that the people coming back home are in "our" age group.............
Barb
Please see my introductory post:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...19#post8225319
I have been feeling sooooo bad about my decision to move back here this past week and feeling really very guilty at leaving my family behind in Australia. I just got my new Sky phone connection which lets me phone Australia for £5.00 per month and my daughter told me on Friday that she had told the grand-kids I was probably not coming back to live there and they both cried. It is also my eldest grand-daughter's 14th birthday tomorrow and my daughter posted on Facebook all these sweet little pics of her from babyhood to now.
Thank God I have found this thread tonight, because I know that I am not the only one in this boat.............off to do some mighty big reading from the start of this thread. Thank you all sooo much for being here with your posts just when I needed you and whoever started this thread it has been a Godsend to me tonight.
I wish you all well with your oh so difficult (for many) decisions. How strange that the people coming back home are in "our" age group.............
Barb
Last edited by Beedubya; Jan 10th 2010 at 8:22 pm. Reason: Addition
Jan 10th 2010, 8:23 pm
#1052
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Welcome Beedubya, the issue you raise about leaving family is the one that concerns me at the moment! Though of course eastern US, where my children are, is not as far from UK as Australia is, so it's not quite as difficult for me.
But I think wise words have been said in response to what I wrote--we can't plan our lives around the lives of our grown children.
EasternDawn, thank you for your note to me in your latest response (I don't know how to do the quote thing!) where you say how today's technology really helps keep the ties with children and grandchildren alive. And that we raise them and let them go on to their own lives.
Since I wrote my long outpouring, I have spoken to each of my three children about the fact that we were poised to begin the whole process, and they were so supportive and encouraging! They repeated what they have said before, that they like the idea of our being in England where they can come and visit and see aunts, cousins, grandmother etc as well! So that's a great help.
It feels exciting and energizing to actually be doing something about that long-held dream at last!
Though scary.
But I think wise words have been said in response to what I wrote--we can't plan our lives around the lives of our grown children.
EasternDawn, thank you for your note to me in your latest response (I don't know how to do the quote thing!) where you say how today's technology really helps keep the ties with children and grandchildren alive. And that we raise them and let them go on to their own lives.
Since I wrote my long outpouring, I have spoken to each of my three children about the fact that we were poised to begin the whole process, and they were so supportive and encouraging! They repeated what they have said before, that they like the idea of our being in England where they can come and visit and see aunts, cousins, grandmother etc as well! So that's a great help.
It feels exciting and energizing to actually be doing something about that long-held dream at last!
Though scary.
Jan 11th 2010, 4:26 am
#1053
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
For all of the people posting here whom are in a quandary about applying for US citizenship as they're unsure about pledging allegiance to the US, have no fear....the only way to lose your UK citizenship is to formally renounce it to a British consular officer.
The UK does not recognise an oath made to a foreign govt. department and has no problem with a British citizen acquiring citizenship of another country and becoming a dual national.
See the thread here:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=464826
The UK does not recognise an oath made to a foreign govt. department and has no problem with a British citizen acquiring citizenship of another country and becoming a dual national.
See the thread here:
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=464826
Jan 11th 2010, 3:10 pm
#1054
Just hanging around
Joined: May 2008
Location: Back in England
Posts: 1,447
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I understand your concerns about keeping in touch with your children, but as people said, there are no guarantees that they won't move. Even to Australia! We have to remember that most of us here on these boards have moved far from our parents, so it might be in their genes.
We were on the west coast of Canada and our sons had already moved to Ontario, a five hour flight away.
Time to have your own adventures, and as you say, you're just a fairly short flight away.
Bev
We were on the west coast of Canada and our sons had already moved to Ontario, a five hour flight away.
Time to have your own adventures, and as you say, you're just a fairly short flight away.
Bev
Jan 11th 2010, 4:37 pm
#1055
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,610
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I agree most of us with children on this forum have come to the conclusion that our chidren really can live without us and do. They like to keep in touch but I think for our own good we have to move on and do what we want we have waited long enough and now is the time. Those of you with children know that they grow up and change and want a life of their own.
If you end up living close to your children and grandchildren then that in itself can become a curse. You become very close to those Grandchildren and then they become older and more independent and move on and you have not wasted but invested more years in other people.
Time to think about ourselves and make a future we can live with and feel comfortable with and hopefully do our children a favour by not being dependent on them in old age. I know my mother in law came to live close to us in older years and could no longer drive and had no way of getting around so we became her 'bus' for everthing from shopping to doctors to hospital visits. My husband was happy to do it but I want to be able to do alot of things for myself.
If you end up living close to your children and grandchildren then that in itself can become a curse. You become very close to those Grandchildren and then they become older and more independent and move on and you have not wasted but invested more years in other people.
Time to think about ourselves and make a future we can live with and feel comfortable with and hopefully do our children a favour by not being dependent on them in old age. I know my mother in law came to live close to us in older years and could no longer drive and had no way of getting around so we became her 'bus' for everthing from shopping to doctors to hospital visits. My husband was happy to do it but I want to be able to do alot of things for myself.
Jan 11th 2010, 5:38 pm
#1056
Lost in Space
Joined: Oct 2009
Location: Stockport, Cheshire, UK
Posts: 804
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
To all you mummies out there, don't worry a jot about leaving your kids. The world is a big and wonderful place and I truly think you can get trapped in the colonies. It is so expensive to go anywhere from Aus, NZ, Canada....that having close family in the UK could provide amazing opportunities to open the grand kids eyes to the world beyond!
Thanks for all the wonderful reads.
Thanks for all the wonderful reads.
Jan 11th 2010, 7:55 pm
#1057
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I wrote a post in reply to several comments but I don't see it, perhaps I got interrupted right at the end and never sent it...
Just to thank everyone from these really wise and helpful comments.
Englishmum, thanks for your words about the citizenship thing--I do know we are in no danger of losing British citizenship by taking the US oath, that's not my issue. As I've said here and elsewhere, my problem is this: swearing the oath and going through the whole process, intended as it is for people who plan to make the US their home, when I just want to facilitate my move to the UK and keep a door open here, would make me feel such a hypocrite.
Bev, you're right, Us is a huge place like Canada, and one can be 5 hours away from children and still in the same country! "Time to have your own adventures..." --I love this!
Trottytrue, that's such a good point you make, the way we can burden our grown kids by planning our lives around them and planting ourselves near them. Also if we are near, it could make them feel less free to take up far-flung job offers, etc.
Lillybilly, I love your firm statement, "Don't worry a jot!"
All this wise input has helped me immensely..perhaps one just has to accept that sometimes one will have sad times, as Beedubya describes, but that it does not mean it was all a mistake to follow one's dream and go back home.
Just to thank everyone from these really wise and helpful comments.
Englishmum, thanks for your words about the citizenship thing--I do know we are in no danger of losing British citizenship by taking the US oath, that's not my issue. As I've said here and elsewhere, my problem is this: swearing the oath and going through the whole process, intended as it is for people who plan to make the US their home, when I just want to facilitate my move to the UK and keep a door open here, would make me feel such a hypocrite.
Bev, you're right, Us is a huge place like Canada, and one can be 5 hours away from children and still in the same country! "Time to have your own adventures..." --I love this!
Trottytrue, that's such a good point you make, the way we can burden our grown kids by planning our lives around them and planting ourselves near them. Also if we are near, it could make them feel less free to take up far-flung job offers, etc.
Lillybilly, I love your firm statement, "Don't worry a jot!"
All this wise input has helped me immensely..perhaps one just has to accept that sometimes one will have sad times, as Beedubya describes, but that it does not mean it was all a mistake to follow one's dream and go back home.
Jan 11th 2010, 8:00 pm
#1058
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,023
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I wrote a post in reply to several comments but I don't see it, perhaps I got interrupted right at the end and never sent it...
Just to thank everyone from these really wise and helpful comments.
Englishmum, thanks for your words about the citizenship thing--I do know we are in no danger of losing British citizenship by taking the US oath, that's not my issue. As I've said here and elsewhere, my problem is this: swearing the oath and going through the whole process, intended as it is for people who plan to make the US their home, when I just want to facilitate my move to the UK and keep a door open here, would make me feel such a hypocrite.
Bev, you're right, Us is a huge place like Canada, and one can be 5 hours away from children and still in the same country! "Time to have your own adventures..." --I love this!
Trottytrue, that's such a good point you make, the way we can burden our grown kids by planning our lives around them and planting ourselves near them. Also if we are near, it could make them feel less free to take up far-flung job offers, etc.
Lillybilly, I love your firm statement, "Don't worry a jot!"
All this wise input has helped me immensely..perhaps one just has to accept that sometimes one will have sad times, as Beedubya describes, but that it does not mean it was all a mistake to follow one's dream and go back home.
Just to thank everyone from these really wise and helpful comments.
Englishmum, thanks for your words about the citizenship thing--I do know we are in no danger of losing British citizenship by taking the US oath, that's not my issue. As I've said here and elsewhere, my problem is this: swearing the oath and going through the whole process, intended as it is for people who plan to make the US their home, when I just want to facilitate my move to the UK and keep a door open here, would make me feel such a hypocrite.
Bev, you're right, Us is a huge place like Canada, and one can be 5 hours away from children and still in the same country! "Time to have your own adventures..." --I love this!
Trottytrue, that's such a good point you make, the way we can burden our grown kids by planning our lives around them and planting ourselves near them. Also if we are near, it could make them feel less free to take up far-flung job offers, etc.
Lillybilly, I love your firm statement, "Don't worry a jot!"
All this wise input has helped me immensely..perhaps one just has to accept that sometimes one will have sad times, as Beedubya describes, but that it does not mean it was all a mistake to follow one's dream and go back home.
Someone once advised me about selling a house...think of it as a business decision and don't get tied up in it emotionally. It's the same with citizenship. Do it while you can...if not you may regret it.
Jan 11th 2010, 8:08 pm
#1059
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Norfolk UK
Posts: 447
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
On the subject of reason for long term US Permanent Residents to become US Citizens before leaving US involves those with Retirement Funds (IRA, 401k). For non-USC when you live outside US and make a Qualified Retirement Fund withdrawal using a Foreign Address the custodian is required to withold (currently 30%) Tax from your withdrawal. A USC can register Form W-9 with the Custodian to release the Custodian from having to make the witholding.
http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/...=97245,00.html.
http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/...=97245,00.html.
Jan 11th 2010, 8:23 pm
#1060
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,197
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
Thanks Jerseygirl, I remember you were very firm about this citizenship thing back in September and I am sure you are right in practical terms.
Funny you should compare it to selling a house, this is what my husband and I have just decided we can manage to do, in principle--sell the house where we have lived for 21 years and raised children.
Obviously a decision fraught with emotion and much easier if you can see it from a purely business point of view!
But the citizenship thing feels (to me, not impugning anyone else)more like a question of integrity....
JJ thank you for the retirement fund info, not relevant to me as I don't have one, but good to know (and for others too).
Funny you should compare it to selling a house, this is what my husband and I have just decided we can manage to do, in principle--sell the house where we have lived for 21 years and raised children.
Obviously a decision fraught with emotion and much easier if you can see it from a purely business point of view!
But the citizenship thing feels (to me, not impugning anyone else)more like a question of integrity....
JJ thank you for the retirement fund info, not relevant to me as I don't have one, but good to know (and for others too).
Jan 11th 2010, 8:25 pm
#1061
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I know where you're coming from about US citizenship...it took me several years to comes to terms with the decision. I didn't want to take citizenship lightly and knew that the UK will always be my home and that we will eventually move back there.
Someone once advised me about selling a house...think of it as a business decision and don't get tied up in it emotionally. It's the same with citizenship. Do it while you can...if not you may regret it.
Someone once advised me about selling a house...think of it as a business decision and don't get tied up in it emotionally. It's the same with citizenship. Do it while you can...if not you may regret it.
I just want to obtain US citizenship 'just in case' as our son will almost certainly stay in the States, although our daughter lives and works in the UK.
I remember when all British citizens had to have a visa just to go on a short holiday to the US (I know I did in 1988). I do sometimes wonder that with some of the Muslim terrorists having UK connections (eg. tube & bus bombings, Glasgow airport - doctors too, shoe bomber, underpants guy ex-UCL student) that it wouldn't surprise me if eventually the US authorities decide to re-implement visas for all British passport holders visiting the US.
It just makes it easier to spend extended amounts of time in the US if one takes out citizenship.
An Australian friend of mine (who married an Italian American woman) says that when he retires they plan to spend half the year in Oz, then half the year in the US in the warmer months. It sounds like a good plan to me if he can work out how to deal with health insurance!
Jan 11th 2010, 8:29 pm
#1062
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2007
Location: Charleston SC, USA, North Yorkshire, now Malta
Posts: 632
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I'm on the same page as you!
I just want to obtain US citizenship 'just in case' as our son will almost certainly stay in the States, although our daughter lives and works in the UK.
I remember when all British citizens had to have a visa just to go on a short holiday to the US (I know I did in 1988). I do sometimes wonder that with some of the Muslim terrorists having UK connections (eg. tube & bus bombings, Glasgow airport - doctors too, shoe bomber, underpants guy ex-UCL student) that it wouldn't surprise me if eventually the US authorities decide to re-implement visas for all British passport holders visiting the US.
It just makes it easier to spend extended amounts of time in the US if one takes out citizenship.
An Australian friend of mine (who married an Italian American woman) says that when he retires they plan to spend half the year in Oz, then half the year in the US in the warmer months. It sounds like a good plan to me if he can work out how to deal with health insurance!
I just want to obtain US citizenship 'just in case' as our son will almost certainly stay in the States, although our daughter lives and works in the UK.
I remember when all British citizens had to have a visa just to go on a short holiday to the US (I know I did in 1988). I do sometimes wonder that with some of the Muslim terrorists having UK connections (eg. tube & bus bombings, Glasgow airport - doctors too, shoe bomber, underpants guy ex-UCL student) that it wouldn't surprise me if eventually the US authorities decide to re-implement visas for all British passport holders visiting the US.
It just makes it easier to spend extended amounts of time in the US if one takes out citizenship.
An Australian friend of mine (who married an Italian American woman) says that when he retires they plan to spend half the year in Oz, then half the year in the US in the warmer months. It sounds like a good plan to me if he can work out how to deal with health insurance!
Jan 11th 2010, 8:33 pm
#1063
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
You've hit the nail right on the head there in your last sentence.... health insurance!!! I would probably be much more inclined to live half the year in the US if I could figure that one out!! But didn't I read something somewhere about UK citizens who go to live in the US and other non EU countries being eligible for free health care through the National Health for the first 6 months?? As of July this year??? Or did I dream that???
Jan 11th 2010, 8:35 pm
#1064
Home Sweet Home
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Surrey, England
Posts: 5,128
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
aes1 please PM me, I can sooo relate to you starting over..........I may have a solution for the long term!!! Or short term but I DEFO do have some help that could assist you in getting settled back into our own country.........
Barb
Barb
Last edited by Beedubya; Jan 11th 2010 at 8:53 pm.
Jan 11th 2010, 8:56 pm
#1065
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK.
I'm on the same page as you!
I just want to obtain US citizenship 'just in case' as our son will almost certainly stay in the States, although our daughter lives and works in the UK.
I remember when all British citizens had to have a visa just to go on a short holiday to the US (I know I did in 1988). I do sometimes wonder that with some of the Muslim terrorists having UK connections (eg. tube & bus bombings, Glasgow airport - doctors too, shoe bomber, underpants guy ex-UCL student) that it wouldn't surprise me if eventually the US authorities decide to re-implement visas for all British passport holders visiting the US.
It just makes it easier to spend extended amounts of time in the US if one takes out citizenship.
An Australian friend of mine (who married an Italian American woman) says that when he retires they plan to spend half the year in Oz, then half the year in the US in the warmer months. It sounds like a good plan to me if he can work out how to deal with health insurance!
I just want to obtain US citizenship 'just in case' as our son will almost certainly stay in the States, although our daughter lives and works in the UK.
I remember when all British citizens had to have a visa just to go on a short holiday to the US (I know I did in 1988). I do sometimes wonder that with some of the Muslim terrorists having UK connections (eg. tube & bus bombings, Glasgow airport - doctors too, shoe bomber, underpants guy ex-UCL student) that it wouldn't surprise me if eventually the US authorities decide to re-implement visas for all British passport holders visiting the US.
It just makes it easier to spend extended amounts of time in the US if one takes out citizenship.
An Australian friend of mine (who married an Italian American woman) says that when he retires they plan to spend half the year in Oz, then half the year in the US in the warmer months. It sounds like a good plan to me if he can work out how to deal with health insurance!