Originally Posted by Vegemite Kids

I had some great experiences in my 24 years away from OZ and grew a lot as a person, but even so I consider those years to be "lost". I know I would have also had great (different) experiences if I had come back to OZ after school was completed and would also have grown a lot as a person (prob a different person LOL)

Originally Posted by Vegemite Kids

LOL - find this thread to be quite funny (Funny peculiar that is, not funny haha).

I was in the opposite situation from most of you. Born in OZ moved to UK as a teenager to finish my education. Absolutely hated it, was unbelievably homesick, blamed my parents for making my life miserable and couldnt wait to get back home to OZ and have a real life again. However Uni time came along and it made more economic sense to do Uni in UK than in OZ (my maternal g'mother is scottish so I could get a grant and all my fees paid by the SED) so decided to do another 4 years and then head back home. However I then got offered a job in France which was directly related to my thesis and I would have been an absolute fool to turn it down so I thought OK get some expereince and then go home. Well naturally enough I met a man and got married and he wouldnt consider moving to Australia so we stayed in Europe and strangely enough over time I got over my homesickness (probably cos the only person I could blame for it was me - I could have gone home but choose not to cos of my "career") but I always felt slightly out of place even though I had the great career, the big fancy house with housekeeper, gardener etc, the frequent holidays and and and ......

Evntually the man and I got divorced but blow me If I didnt go and hook up with another european man. Fortunatley this one was very open to the idea of australia so now after 24 years I'm back home in OZ and loving it.


Anyway the point of this ramble is to say, most of the things you miss about UK / Europe I hated. Most of the things about OZ you hate I missed terribly.

It all depends where your Home is and mine was always OZ. Even though I am eligible for passports in various countries I've lived and worked in and TBH it would have made life a lot easier to have one of the european passports I could never bring myself to do it cos I always knew one day I would go home and in my heart I always felt Australian. To have another passport would have felt a betrayal of that.

I had some great experiences in my 24 years away from OZ and grew a lot as a person, but even so I consider those years to be "lost". I know I would have also had great (different) experiences if I had come back to OZ after school was completed and would also have grown a lot as a person (prob a different person LOL)

If you feel as I did and are truely unsettled, then go home. Dont wait for this that and the next thing. Dont try to rationalise it - just do it. You wont regret it I promise. I just wish I had come home years ago.

Originally Posted by jad n rich

Thats so sad you feel 24 years of your life is lost Weird too, because we met a lady while camping on weekend she has been in australia 24 years and has never got to like it :scared:

She came to aus, had kids and that was it, she had to stay here, custody basically, the kids father would not let them leave, I assume she could have left without them? and how many mothers would.

Originally Posted by jad n rich

Thats so sad you feel 24 years of your life is lost Weird too, because we met a lady while camping on weekend she has been in australia 24 years and has never got to like it :scared:

She came to aus, had kids and that was it, she had to stay here, custody basically, the kids father would not let them leave, I assume she could have left without them? and how many mothers would.

Originally Posted by wombat42

She sounds like a whinger to be. l bet if she was living in the Uk she would now be Whinging about life over there , Asylum seekers, crime, Tony Blair, taxes, cost of living , how many years she has lost or wasted living in some little coucil flat etc, but because shes living in OZ she whinges about life in OZ and puts on Rose tinted glasses for the Uk. Life is what you make it, if she has wasted the last 24 years of her life its her own fault not Australia's

Originally Posted by ImHere

Nice sig by the way....I take it you dont like rugby?

Originally Posted by ImHere

You're a sensitive and understanding type aren't you? Oh I see....you're an Australian.

Nice sig by the way....I take it you dont like rugby?

Originally Posted by janeyray

I had this very conversation with my dad last night, about people getting stuck in OZ. Having had their children there who have been bought up in OZ and ther parents not being able to return to their home country for the sake of the children.

My hubbys aunt was and still is in this situation. She went to Oz with her hubby and three children in 1972. Her hubby left her after being there two years and she wasn't able to return due to financila problems. Now all her kids have grown up and she wants to come back to the UK (she visited here over Christmas) but wont leave her children. The kids want to travel but not sure if they want to live back here, after all Oz is their home, they left the UK when very small so OZ is where their heart is.

Originally Posted by wombat42

She sounds like a whinger to be. l bet if she was living in the Uk she would now be Whinging about life over there , Asylum seekers, crime, Tony Blair, taxes, cost of living , how many years she has lost or wasted living in some little coucil flat etc, but because shes living in OZ she whinges about life in OZ and puts on Rose tinted glasses for the Uk. Life is what you make it, if she has wasted the last 24 years of her life its her own fault not Australia's

Originally Posted by Phoenixuk2oz

Wombat....you'd do well to read the thread again. The thread you're talking about is by an Aussie who's returned to Aus after living in Europe over 20+ years

And if you read it correctly, she's not whinging about anything..... but stating that at the end of the day, home is where the heart is, wherever in the world that may be

Originally Posted by wombat42

l was refering to the British lady they met camping who said that her 24 years in OZ were a waste, not the lady who returned to OZ after 20 years in Europe. Sorry if l have been a naughty Wombat

Originally Posted by Holly

My husband is a good man , I love him very much and I really want this Australia move to work but it is breaking my heart every day. I honestly still believe that when push comes to shove ,if I really can't settle here after at least 2 years then he really would make me leave the country without him AND give me a fight for the kids.
This is the side that no-one usually discusses and it makes it very hard to talk about.QUOTE]

Hmm. I know its a prickly one but I think it is something you need to discuss openly with him. Let him know your concerns, and put to him, What if it doesn't work out or I can't make the adjustment? etc. Better to develop your contingency planning now, and if the shit hits the fan, well it would have in time anyway, and a long way away from your support network of friends and family.

A marriage is a partnership and no marriage will work if the partners don't listen to each others thoughts and feelings and talk about their own. How else can you build a future together that keeps you wanting to be with someone for the "right" reasons?

Hate to say it, but if you think he would drag you across the world and force you to live there when you hated it or else expect you to go back to UK by yourself, with bugger all chance of seeing your kids regularly, then maybe you need to query your relationship.

Good Luck

Originally Posted by TraceyW

Thank you so much for all of the wonderful replies I've had both on here and private messages. I didn't realise that there were so many unhappy folk out here!

Jeremy, in answer to your statement about being 100% committed to the emigration process, I can assure you we were 110% up for this move. We really wanted this, we worked so hard for it, this was our dream. But this dream is having a bit of an Elm Street effect on me I'm afraid! It is completely impossible to prepare yourself emotionally for the trauma that emigration causes both to yourself and to those people around you that you care about. I will never, ever be able to come terms with the fact that I am 12,000 miles away from my family, that I cannot simply just hop on a plane and pop home, it's just not feasible. For example, a few weeks ago a very special family member died and I have never felt so useless or inadequate in my whole life when all I wanted to do was to put my arms around my mother-in-law and comfort her, but I couldn't could I? I was here, she was there. Simple.

I also feel I have finally realised that grandparents are an incredibly important part of any childs life. I never had any, they'd long gone by the time I was born, so I'd never been privvy to that special relationship that goes on between Granny and grandchild. Then I had my children, they soon became the focus of both our parents lives, they were totally adored and doted upon. And what did we do? We took them away, to live at the other side of the world, convinced that we were doing the best thing for all of us and that a telephone would take the place of cuddles and chatter face to face. We were so wrong.

I am incredibly disappointed that this is not working out the way we'd planned. I feel more than disappointment for the sake of my husband, he is happy here and he desperately wants to stay forever. The last person on this earth I would want to hurt is him. I knew I would get homesick, but this is more than that. This is a feeling of not belonging, that none of this is right. Do you understand? I know some will say that 5 months is no time at all to make a judgement and I quite agree. Therefore we will stay and complete the house build, that will take another year, I will do my upmost to put on a brave face, to not whinge and to try to make the experience of being here a happy one, for the sake of my husband and the kids. I fully expect to get to the end of that 12 months and still want to return to the UK. I just know in my heart, that I prefer the company of my family and friends, than the knowledge that I live in a big house and the beach is just down the road.

There are people that can put up with this, knowing that they are in the wrong place, that they shouldn't be here, living with the feelings of homesickness, they just suppress those feelings, bury them somehow, and get on with their lives. I know a lady who's been out here, in Perth, for 25 years. She told me on our first meeting that she still felt homesick and that she had to go home every year, on her own because they couldn't afford for all of the family to go, but she needed her 'fix' of her family and the UK. I dread the thought of ever getting to that stage.

Thank you all once again for the kind words and opinions, they are all very valid.

I shall now take my little ones to Go Bananas ...again...let them run riot, smile and be happy!! After all......I'm Living The Dream...aren't I?

Originally Posted by Holly

Is there somewhere more appropriate to just chatlike this ? or is this the right place ?
Thanks again everyone ,
Holly.