ALERT! ALL OPERATIVES!!

Re Nutek.

My suspicions about Nutek's stability strengthen hourly. He has submitted a picture intended to reassure, but has indeed self-raised even more serious doubts about his sanity, viz:
He has referred to a tart as a pie (as of course we all learnt in Basic Training, Pies have crusts whereas tarts do not).
More seriously, he has referred to a removed section as Pie I have eaten, and the remainder as Pie I have not yet eaten. Whilst I applaud the sentiment, which fits suitably within our Mission Statement, the burning question is this:

Why is the uneaten section bigger than the eaten section? I cannot believe that any viable Agents would allow such a thing to occur - never mind publicising this failure!

I think that is only the first part as he was typing at the time further photos will show it has all gone by the time the text was sent

Thank you, coffeeman. We must therefore await further photographs, though the pie/tart confusion does concern me.

PS. You're not related to coffee cake, by any chance, or perhaps to coffee ice cream?

It would be rude not to be !

Nutek (aka Nutcake?) is now a fruit cake?

I knew a Bakewell tart once, she was quite nice.

Gone sour on the lemon tart

Expatrick - your stint in the Baking Intelligence Corps has certainly paid off. Perhaps Nutek is as nutty as a fruit cake? This would fit the information on him so far.

IMPORTANT - TEMPORARY CEASE FIRE

A cease fire has been announced over the weekend, whilst talks are underway. There will be no further announcements from High Command whilst this sensitive situation is developed and investigated.

Operatives and Agents at all levels are permitted to continue with cake-related, pie-related and tart related posts. However, you are instructed to avoid buns, especially in conjunction with tarts, since those are recipes for tasteless jokes. The outcome of these talks will be announced on Monday.

nb. Lemon Meringue Tarts will be parachuted in over the weekend, for your refreshment and sustenance. The parachutes will, of course, be edible. Be aware that High Command will not issue replacements, should local fauna wish to taste the items. We trust that Nutek will post appropriate photographs to confirm further eating of what might appear to be lemonish in construction.

so would a jaffa cake be going to far?

Automated response by Cakebot

Borderline. In this instance it might be considered somewhat jammy. In your case, a distasteful question, since chocolate and coffee are both from beans and both contain caffeine, so there is a clear cannibalistic issue here.

Reported to Cake High Command for possible disciplinary action

AUTOMATED QUERY FROM CAKEBOT

Hath the Kipling arrivethed?

AUTOMATED RESPONSE FROM CAKEBOT

Secret drop considered by High Command but dropped.

AUTOMATED OBSERVATION FROM CAKEBOT


Cakebot storage to be upgraded to 10 kilocakes. All Agents and Operatives are half baked.