Me and My Family

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Old Jun 30th 2015, 9:00 am
  #136  
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Default re: Me and My Family

fingers crossed- maybe she has realised her life with you is not to be sneezed at!

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Old Jun 30th 2015, 12:06 pm
  #137  
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The worm is turning? Today, her father rang my gf to say that he needs 2k to pay for a debt on which her brother has defaulted. She has just got her allowance and told her father she only has 1k. I asked why did she not volunteer the full 2k. She said why should she. Its her money. She then phoned her brother and gave him an earful and then for some unknown reason phoned her mother and told her what she thought about it. Father pitches up an hour later not looking very happy but is given 1k and told that she wants it back asap. He would normally ask me for a loan (and always pays me back) but did not on this occasion. Also said that if her brother cannot pay his debts, he should look for a better paid job. I was pleased with this and told her so. She has spent some of her allowance on jewelry and clothes (she is always well dressed and takes a great pride in her appearance). Also is going to pay for her fathers on-going BP medication which is about 850 peso pm.

So...I am pleased. But we will see how this developes.

Regards
An alternative to giving/lending is to do as I do nowadays and that is exchange, especially with cousins and nephews ( 80 year old aunties normally exempt ) if they want to borrow P2,000 then they have to do the equivalent of 10 days work ( gardening, painting etc ). The wife is behind me with this method as anyone who defaulted on a loan the loan was deducted from her allowance. Mind you, you seem to have learned quicker than me, I am about P500k down with few prospects of any recovery.

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Old Jun 30th 2015, 12:32 pm
  #138  
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Originally Posted by Stokkevn View Post
An alternative to giving/lending is to do as I do nowadays and that is exchange, especially with cousins and nephews ( 80 year old aunties normally exempt ) if they want to borrow P2,000 then they have to do the equivalent of 10 days work ( gardening, painting etc ). The wife is behind me with this method as anyone who defaulted on a loan the loan was deducted from her allowance. Mind you, you seem to have learned quicker than me, I am about P500k down with few prospects of any recovery.
My wife has been stung a couple of times now and I think she is staring to see the light. We had a aunt in hospital which we spent a lot of money on with the promise that we will see it back, she died. The relations are always full of good intentions but nothing comes of it. Then you find that money has come in to them behind your back but you get nothing but excuses. I know it sounds harsh but the next one will die a bit quicker, although I'm sure there will be hard feelings that we didn't help as we are rich.
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Old Jun 30th 2015, 12:56 pm
  #139  
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Thought I would cut and paste this from my fb page....on how I think I got my wallet lifted by about 7k...

Each time I go to a hot climate my feet and ankles swell and this has been the case for about 20years. Previously had doctors advice on how to manage the condition which causes no problem. It is the same here except the locals think it is a major problem caused by diabetes or heart problems and I should go to hospital immediately. Sooo....thought I would go to a doctor and put their mind at rest. After a 2 hour bus journey, I was ushered into see the doctor and he noticed a graze on my right foot that was healing after becoming infected. He thought the infection might have spread throughout the body which could cause tremendous harm and cause my head to fall off....or other dire consequences and suggested I have a full check-up. So I agreed. Anyway, had BP tested, cardiograph, urine check, X-ray prodded and poked and blood test etc. Waited 2 hours, and all was clear. So, he still thought I might have an infection (because it looked like it) and suggested up to 5 days in hospital on an intra venous drip to make sure. Asked how he would know if the infection was gone he said "if it looked like it had gone". I politely declined his offer of up to 5 days in hospital at my expense and collected my prescription for something to help my swollen feet. Soooo...I have my prescription which is what I wanted. Do I still have swollen feet? Why yes of course. But my wallet is £100 lighter. Its more fun in the Philippines as they say

Regards

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Old Jun 30th 2015, 1:49 pm
  #140  
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Thought I would cut and paste this from my fb page....on how I think I got my wallet lifted by about 7k...

Each time I go to a hot climate my feet and ankles swell and this has been the case for about 20years. Previously had doctors advice on how to manage the condition which causes no problem. It is the same here except the locals think it is a major problem caused by diabetes or heart problems and I should go to hospital immediately. Sooo....thought I would go to a doctor and put their mind at rest. After a 2 hour bus journey, I was ushered into see the doctor and he noticed a graze on my right foot that was healing after becoming infected. He thought the infection might have spread throughout the body which could cause tremendous harm and cause my head to fall off....or other dire consequences and suggested I have a full check-up. So I agreed. Anyway, had BP tested, cardiograph, urine check, X-ray prodded and poked and blood test etc. Waited 2 hours, and all was clear. So, he still thought I might have an infection (because it looked like it) and suggested up to 5 days in hospital on an intra venous drip to make sure. Asked how he would know if the infection was gone he said "if it looked like it had gone". I politely declined his offer of up to 5 days in hospital at my expense and collected my prescription for something to help my swollen feet. Soooo...I have my prescription which is what I wanted. Do I still have swollen feet? Why yes of course. But my wallet is £100 lighter. Its more fun in the Philippines as they say
I have spent 40 years in the oil industry which is one of the most dangerous industries to be in, in that time I broke a bone in my foot. Since retiring to the Philippines, every time I do any DIY or gardening I end up with a plaster stuck somewhere on some cut or graze. It has become so bad that as soon as I head for the garden with any tools my wife gets the alcohol, cotton wool and plasters ready.

If you ever get a cut treat immediately with OXYTETRACYCLINE comes in a tube in a green box, made in Germany and available in any good chemist here. I always have a tube in the fridge, brilliant stuff.

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Old Jun 30th 2015, 2:06 pm
  #141  
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Originally Posted by Gazza-d View Post
My wife has been stung a couple of times now and I think she is staring to see the light. We had a aunt in hospital which we spent a lot of money on with the promise that we will see it back, she died. The relations are always full of good intentions but nothing comes of it. Then you find that money has come in to them behind your back but you get nothing but excuses. I know it sounds harsh but the next one will die a bit quicker, although I'm sure there will be hard feelings that we didn't help as we are rich.
Unfortunately if excuses were an Olympic sport Philippines would win gold every time. I bought 2 native chickens for the pot from an auntie, she dually turned up, but with only one as she claimed the other had been stolen, no offer of a 50% refund though.

As for funerals, when I retired here 4 close relatives died within 5 weeks, each costing me about P10-15k. Since then I have told the wife that if anyone wants more than the obligatory P500 I will match what ever they give me as savings for their funeral costs. Every relative my wife spoke to thought this was very generous and they would be definitely be taking advantage of it, since then every funeral has cost me P500.
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Old Jul 1st 2015, 1:48 am
  #142  
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The worm turns more. She received a call this morning from her father who wants her to his rent which is about 2.5k pm I believe. A very angry exchange took place with the result of her saying why should she pay his rent and will not pay. She has spent 5k of the 8k allowance and loaned 1k to her father to pay brothers debt. The subsequent early morning walk to the beach by-passed her fathers house for the first time.

She has my full support.

< snip out entire paragraph

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Old Jul 1st 2015, 9:19 am
  #143  
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Do you not think it is distasteful to share all these private and personal details online ?
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Old Jul 1st 2015, 9:55 am
  #144  
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The answer is obvious. If I thought that, then I would not share it. I am hoping someone can learn from my experiences.

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Old Jul 1st 2015, 10:36 am
  #145  
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Originally Posted by scot47 View Post
Do you not think it is distasteful to share all these private and personal details online ?
It's rather the nature of a forum to bare all and share all; it's why as a default each member's identity is protected. A forum without the Springsteens of this world would be a duller, less inspiring place.

The choice must lie with the individual reader to decide if he wants to read and/or contribute to the thread. Springsteen would soon stop if he didn't feel he was getting enough support from the forum.

Personally, I love it and not in a voyeuristic way but because my life is enriched through the experiences, good and bad, of others. And here, on this forum, I even get to interact with ---------- reality, without ever being a part of it.

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Old Jul 1st 2015, 10:38 am
  #146  
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Someone asked why do I not name her. No-one else names their wives or gf's etc, so why should I.
In addition to which, if you did name her, I would immediately delete it

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Old Jul 1st 2015, 12:00 pm
  #147  
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Hope the worm really is turning, as far too many Brits (and I only care about my fellow country men), get 'shafted' out there. However, the cynic in me is thinking what if the recent incidents regarding your gf refusing to help her father pay for something (with her allowance given by you) and him not asking you for a loan like you said he usually does , is just the family trying to be clever and hoping you will think what's happened previously such the mystery surrounding the 30k college fee won't be repeated. I know you won't let your guard down, and I'm sure you've considered this possibility as well. Her, and her family really should appreciate everthing you have done so far , and ( with regards money) they're really finally starting to act like human beings and have realised you're not living with your head in the clouds, then that's the way it should be. I'm wondering if Filipinos attitude is one of 'if you're foreign guy who chooses to get in volved with a girl there then you have to pay the price, and if you don't like it then look for a partner somewhere else? At least it's not like Thailand, where apparently you have to pay the family to marry a girl from there?
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Old Jul 1st 2015, 12:53 pm
  #148  
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Thanks for your responses.

In a way, I think I hold the aces. I am the one supporting my gf for 8k pm which saves her going to work....doubt if she would get more than that if she worked. I am the one supporting her sister at college at 5k pm. I am the one allowing her other sister live rent free and using my electricity, water and Wi-Fi. I am the one that was giving her father free beer most nights which I know he misses. He is secretly frequenting other bars and has to pay for it. It is a case of killing the goose that lays the golden eggs. They all know the score. Try it again and all ties will be severed.

Incidently, I have offered to help with her fathers rent which would be taken out of next months allowance. She has firmly refused and said her father must help himself. There are other earners in the family which could help, but as in the last 4 years the burden has always fallen on her.

I believe she cares for me as I do her. I think she is making very difficult decisions and I will support her 100%. But...we will see.

Regards

Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:23 pm. Reason: missed paragraph
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Old Jul 1st 2015, 1:32 pm
  #149  
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As your gf doesn't work a move away might improve things. Go travelling for an extended time, a few weeks/ couple of months
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Old Jul 1st 2015, 2:56 pm
  #150  
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Originally Posted by Gazza-d View Post
As your gf doesn't work a move away might improve things. Go travelling for an extended time, a few weeks/ couple of months
Sounds like a good idea. Visit another island, stay in a beach resort etc. I think the family would certainly miss you........................8k + 5K =PHP13K PM is a lot of money for someone in the provinces.

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