Philosophical 11

Hi Bazza. I used to like water-melon but I now have water-melon fruit,,,,water-melon juice and now,,,,, water-melon E-cig juice. No other tips I'm afraid. Just enjoy getting woke up a couple of times each night.... :-)

Regards

Philosophical 11

This might be my last up-date for a while because it is all sweetness and light here. I have a very happy gf and things have never been better. Ok. there was big questions in the past about the college fees etc but that is in the past. Great relationship with her family etc and immediate concerns now are sorting out a budget which I do not think will be a problem and in the intermediate term...looking for something worthwhile to do as a hobby making a few pennies.

Loving it here.....shame about the rainy season!

Best regards to all

Many thanks for your interest.

Crystal Dale

Of course you currently have a very happy g/f, and a great relatioship with her family but that's only because you 'flashed the cash'. Will be interesting to see how long before they come knocking again.....?

Philosophical 11

And you may be right. However, lines have been drawn and her cards have been marked. I think they have creamed off some of the college fees like other expenses in the past regarding the refurbishment. But refurb is now finished. Interestingly, I am using the college fees to my advantage in that I have stopped a few outings etc because of the additional expense of the fees. And I will use that excuse for some time yet. She has responded positively to this and is suggesting various ways of saving money. Nearly fell off my chair when she said we can get our drinking water for 25peso rather than the usual 30 peso for one of those large blue containers.

Anyway....we will see.

Regards

InVinoVeritas

Sounds like you have things under control now, well done, not always easy to do in relationships. Just need to stay alert now and nip it in the bud next time around.

Out of curiosity, is there a big age difference?

Philosophical 11

Thankyou. She is 33 and I am 66....so yes. As previously mentioned, we met on fb over a year ago and things developed over time. Forgot to mention, she is thinking of getting a local p/t job to supplement my income. Hoping that wont be required.

Regards and thank you again

InVinoVeritas

Well, worth a bit of effort then - does the watermelon juice really work then?

Philosophical 11

No idea if it really works. It does contain the properties of the blue pill according to the internet but I suspect you will need a wheel-barrow full of it each day to be effective. But she keeps feeding me it in many forms. I need something maybe to dampen her ardour! Just need the odd night during the week where I can sleep through the night without getting a surprise wake-up call.... I knew Pinays can be loving....but I need a rest!

Best regards

InVinoVeritas

Killing me softly....

I don't think you'll get too much sympathy for your predicament. Some envy maybe....

Philosophical 11

Then Fireworks. Gf produced a 1000 note a few days ago which according to my calculations she could not have had. It was in her back pocket...not her purse which was unusual. Challenged her later about it. I said that I think she and her family creamed off about 8K from the 30k I paid for tuition fees. Also false receipts which have since disappeared. How did her sister pay for a 3k new mobile phone and who works in school and handles petty cash....no doubt requiring a receipt book. Denials were made and said I must have miscalculated. Said she was going to leave and called for her mother. Mother came and long story cut short she stayed. Next morning her mother rang and asked why she did not leave. She loves me and will stay with me forever apparently. Told her if anything like this happens again...she goes.

Now, we are good together again. Her parents are not speaking to me and have a frosty relation with her. Each day since this episode a member of her family has come and asked her for money....which she gave. Yesterday someone came and she gave money and said that now all her money is gone.

This is what I think. I think she cares for me...or knows she will find it difficult to find another foreigner. She has great allegiance to her family and I think they pressurised her to get money from me. She reluctantly agreed. That's only how I can explain why she stayed and her family are at odds with her and asked her for the money which she mysteriously obtained.

Anyway, as I said we are very good together now despite her family. She now knows the score. So does her family. But we will see.

She has said she will spend some of her 8k allowance next month helping her family pay the rent which I am happy with. It is her allowance.

Sorry if this rushed or truncated....I have a pinay that sits on my shoulder most of the time so it is difficult to go into great detail.

Regards all

quiltman

Oh Dear! You seem to be handling things anyway, more than some others do. Yes, here family comes before everything so she will have to choose - you or them. Once she has got used to handling her allowance and realising there is no more until next month then she will make the decision . Looks like it's a bit of both - cares for you and knows finding another foreigner would be difficult. The problem is that family put heavy pressure on any member who appears to have easy access to money! If, as you say , her family are now frosty towards her then it seems she is making her choice. Keep going the way you are and I'm sure you'll find out whether it's you or your money that's the attraction.
Keep posting i
it's an object lesson in how to handle Filipinas!

mikek1

I can see where this is leading. You are being taken for a complete fool (sorry) and despite all the crocodile tears you need to get real. You will NEVER get your girlfriend to choose YOU over her family. Except that you will always be treated as a ATM or move on.
I have privately emailed you to express my onion that 'online dating' rarely lives up to expectations. You are in the Philippines, single, desirable, and eligible, hit the road and for sure you will meet other GIRL FRIENDS who you will have a chance to get to know them and their family's before making unnecessary mistakes.
There are MANY other expat sites littered with stories that are a mirror image to your circumstances. Not one has ended up with a happy ending. It like taking a bar girl from a club and hoping she will change.................never happens. There have been too many false dawns for your situation to allow any trust. You have been deceived too many times, for a meaningful relationship.
You mention the allowance, what's wrong with you doing the shopping ? At least you won't have to eat a diet containing mainly rice...................my wife buys potatoes and fries them for me. I eat mainly European type foods. It is more expensive, but your 8K allowance should go a long way to alternatives of rice and fish heads. It might also be wise for you to perhaps go and visit another island (Luzon ?), it will give you time to think through whether your present predicament is really worth all the hassle. I do not envy you when the family is already 'frosty' towards you. You do not speak Tagalog so who do you discuss your grievances with. Your outnumbered !!
Please do not think I'm getting at you, I just know chapter and verse where this is going, and would not want you to keep wasting your money, or be unhappy so far from home.

Beat of luck,

Mike K

Crystal Dale

Our friend's not listening, I'm afraid despite almost everyone who's replied to his posts saying the same. Wonder how his blood pressure is doing? Anyway, at least he's over there, unlike me who's 4 years married but still not living with my wife. She has bought many things that I haven't approved of (her only money is what I sent), but has told me only after getting them and says they can't be returned. Hmmmm? However, she's not using me, and certainly not to support her family - her mother lives in London, and her younger sister is a fully-qualified nurse. My wife actually isn't really a family person like most Filipinos are and in fact hates almost all her relatives but that's because she doesn't trust them. Would be nice if Pete could start using his ladie's name rather than just 'the gf' but that's his choice/prerogative of course.

Philosophical 11

Many thanks for your interesting replies. As I have already pointed out, I will not be used as an ATM and that has been made crystal clear. She and her family know the consequences. Also, I did not meet her through on-line dating. We chatted as friends for over a year on fb and then decided to meet. Also, I would never expect her to choose me in preference to her family. However, she has stayed with me and that is down to her. If things change, then as has been mentioned....there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Regards

Philosophical 11

The worm is turning? Today, her father rang my gf to say that he needs 2k to pay for a debt on which her brother has defaulted. She has just got her allowance and told her father she only has 1k. I asked why did she not volunteer the full 2k. She said why should she. Its her money. She then phoned her brother and gave him an earful and then for some unknown reason phoned her mother and told her what she thought about it. Father pitches up an hour later not looking very happy but is given 1k and told that she wants it back asap. He would normally ask me for a loan (and always pays me back) but did not on this occasion. Also said that if her brother cannot pay his debts, he should look for a better paid job. I was pleased with this and told her so. She has spent some of her allowance on jewelry and clothes (she is always well dressed and takes a great pride in her appearance). Also is going to pay for her fathers on-going BP medication which is about 850 peso pm.

So...I am pleased. But we will see how this developes.