Stokkevn

Unfortunately some of us, me & the missus included ( she had lived in the UK for 25+ years when I met her ), until we actually moved here, applied western values to their statements and actions and did not realise we are being played. Shortly after moving here full time the penny dropped. Loans are now only given to those that I would have given the money to anyway - repayment being a bonus. Mother-in-law now knows that her private hospital trips will not be paid by me or 'her in doors' and they have not spoken for years because of that.

But you do get the very proud Filipino/Filipina who are totally opposite. When we first moved here my favorite auntie lived with us and one morning she came and sat outside with me with her coffee and chatted away which was a bit unusual as her English was not brilliant. Within the hour she had died, local doctor said that if she had gone to hospital when she felt ill she would be OK and neither I or the missus knew she felt ill.

MikeNZ

Hi Stokkevn
What crap the local doctor saying that if she went to hospital when she felt ill she would have been ok. She would have still been dead but you would have had a huge bullshit bill. My brother in law who now works in NZ made a baby while on holiday home and the child was in PI with his mother. I heard from my wife that the brother in law was paying $300 a month for the baby to have an injection for some bullshit reason. I said to stop the injections because they were more likely to give the kid an infection from injecting water or glucose or what ever the crap was. The bastard doctor said to them when they said that they would not pay for more injections that it would be their fault if the child died. The kid is now in NZ fit as a fiddle. The doctors in some instances are con men who you should never see if you wish to live.

My ex wife is currently in the Philippines burying her father my son is also with her. He went into hospital and last I heard the bill was $10000 NZ. I have helped my current wife's uncle $2000, still an alcoholic. I will never offer to pay for anyones medical bills in PI because they can bankrupt you even if you live in NZ or Britain. Most regional PI hospitals are dodgy in my opinion and if you are really sick you have little chance of getting out. If they did detect say a cancer the $10000 a month to pay for the chemo would destroy most people in a short time. That is not just PI that is any country if you have to pay.

In my case my doctor suggested a treatment which is not funded here it is $9000 NZ for two little vials which will help keep you alive for three weeks. Well personally I would rather be dead than leave my family destitute.

I am hoping to get on a trial for a new drug otherwise it will be a drug which the Drug company gives away free on compassionate grounds. ( Read kiss your arse good-bye)

If you even think you are getting sick in PI get out or you will likely be dead and in any event you will be financially destroyed unless you have a brilliant insurance policy and can get to Manila in time.

Have a great day Regards Mike

mikek1

Rete

P11 why are you allowing four photographers for the pre wedding photos and why do you need pre wedding photographs in the first place. It is only for your LL to show off and you are nearly destitute as you have mentioned many times because of your recent divorce/settlement so why would you shell out good money for a single photograph that can be achieved on the day of the wedding. Can you honestly tell us that your LL doesn't know at the age of 30+ how to apply makeup and do her own hair without having to hire someone to do it for her when funds are tight? I don't get it. I honestly don't understand the mentality of the culture to be so mercenary and greedy and the submission of the foreign male for a woman whose only contributions to the relationship are lies, family troubles and a desire for the almighty dollar. Her actions don't speak of love for you. She doesn't allow you privacy or a personal life that doesn't include her. You can't go for a drink without constant phone calls. Your posts are interesting to read as it shows how people can be manipulative for those that are open to manipulation. It is your life but it is painful at times to see you so used and abused.

nonthaburi

When I got married we had two young children and no money, no savings, nothing.

We got married for 1GBP at the local council office, sitting next to someone trying to get a replacement ID card because they'd lost theirs. Went home four in a motorbike. Not exactly romantic.

My point is that my wife, we're still together years later, was happy with that because all she cared about was marrying me(crazy woman!!!), and she knew how the finances were. I remember her complaining about the 60GBP to get the letter from the embassy saying I was single.

we never had any big party or anything like that, and it's too late now.

The joke was that it's 1GBP to get married but 3 to get divorced, so that's how the government tries to keep families together.

Regarding the OP, I think his future wife needs to be more aware of the finances. It doesn't sound like there's a lot of spare cash around if something serious happens.

Gazza-d

We had the prenup, didn't know that what it was called. The photographer and his helper came to the house early and basically took photos of the preparations, make-up, dressing etc and leaving for the Church. The same photographer and his mate then photographed the ceremony and reception. This included a video, all part of the package.

scot47

I still cannot understand why people spend huge sums on weddings.

Gazza-d

It's a man thing.

moneypenny20

If you mean not understanding spending money on a wedding, then it's not a man thing at all. My wedding cost about 5 hundred quid and that included a weekend in Jersey. We'd been together 12 years, living together for 6 of those. We had no need for fuss and nonsense and certainly had much better things to do with our money than waste it on one day that apparently the couple rarely actually remember if they don't have photos. As for these prenup photos, I've never heard such nonsense. Everyone I know who's done the full frock/aisle/cake thing had the photographer take some photos of the bride getting ready and then photos of the event. Nothing prenup at all, just part of the day. P11's LL is taking the piss yet again. He'd be better off spending some money on a real prenup as the rest of the world understands the term.

Stokkevn

I asked my missus about this pre-nup thing, all I got was a blank look so I said about the photos taken in nice places a couple of days before the wedding. I was told I did not understand ( not unusual ), the photos are taken of the bride and sometimes the groom, as they get ready in the morning. For our wedding I gave two cameras to two different relatives and they were instructed that if it moved take 2 photos, if it stood still take 3 and it worked out very well. The video was not so good, the first 30 minutes of video was of someone's eye, until a friend pointed out they were looking in the wrong end, the main event turned out to be very professional although that was more due to luck than experience.

Rete

Well that is standard shooting preferences in the US for the day of the wedding. No one has a pre-wedding photo shoot unless it is in a studio with the bride and sometimes the groom for a formal wedding portrait. A waste of money for something that gets thrown in a draw after a year and never looked at again unless you want to show it to a new friend to show off. If you can't afford it, there is such a word in every language on earth and in English it is "NO". But P11 and his SO don't seem to understand the meaning of the word.

Jerseygirl

We got married 39 years ago at Chester Registry Office. The only guests were our parents, my sister and BIL and my SIL. Went for a quick pub lunch afterwards. We didn’t have a honeymoon...couldn’t afford it.

I repeated the above to the wife of one of my husband’s biz colleagues. She went on to tell me every detail of her huge wedding held in Liverpool Cathedral...followed by an equally extravagant honeymoon. I found out a few months later that they had decided to call it a day.

It’s not about the wedding or honeymoon IMO...but what you make of the following years.

Stokkevn

Marriage longevity has nothing to do with how much is spent on the wedding. Nearly 40 years ago my wife spent a fortune ( of my money ) on our wedding and 40 years later I am still happily married, but with wife Nr 3, honeymoon was a return flight to the UK and a BBQ at ours.

Jerseygirl

Exactly.

I would tell the LL that I can only afford a quick ceremony with parents only and that’s it. If she truly loves him she will accept that.

nonthaburi

Excellent point.