uk+kiwi

[QUOTE=Lexylou;4992335]
Regardless of what my daughter will be like age 14, I am her mother, I am responsible and she will not be on her own during the school holidays. Fact.
QUOTE]


How do you know? Lexy that is a bit of a silly thing to say surely?

It may be what you'd hope, but 'fact' is actually impossible, on the basis that we're talking something like 13 years down the line, aren't we? To illustrate the point, albeit statistically highly unlikely, you may not even be alive to make these choices. Wouldn't wish this on anyone obviously, but there is a difference between being realistic and impossibly arrogant.

kato33

Well lucky you for not HAVING to leave you little 'uns.

I don't usually get into these argumentative debates but reading the reply made me seeth.

My daughter of 13 has to look after my 10 year old twins for an hour after school every evening. Yes I feel guilty, but working is not an option. I have to go to work to provide for my kids, no work for me would mean no food on the table for them. My daughter is mature enough to know not to try and cook or answer the door to anyone and if ever a problem then she can knock on the neighbours.

Well done you for having such a good life that only 1 of you have to work. We are all different and snotty opinions like those should be kept to yourself.

Boopy, your doing the responsible thing ignore those who oppose it. Only you know if your child is capable to be left alone as am I with mine and they will have to do the same once we are in NZ.

Nici

kato33

[QUOTE=uk+kiwi;4993415]
Too true uk+kiwi.
Its these sort of things that are putting people off this forum.

kato33

[QUOTE=kato33;4993470] Boopy I do apologise, I re-read the post and realised that it was a friend and not you but I still have the same views.

uk+kiwi

Well said Nici. You (and your kids/family) know that you are doing the best you can. And love you for it. And putting it into perspective, it could be so much worse than an hour after school couldn't it?

Keep going ... 'what goes around comes around' and 'reward comes to those who deserve it in the end'

Lexylou

[QUOTE=uk+kiwi;4993415]
i cannot talk for any other mothers but I do know unless i am dead like you say that my child will not be left to its own devices on the school holidays. You do not know me or my type of parenting, I personally do not think that at any under 16 age children (because despite what you are staying - under 16 is STILL a child) should have to spend their school holiday alone. So please do not assume that I will be leaving her. I will organise teen club, or something like kidactive but I will not be leaving her on her own. I work three days a week, I manage to have my daughter well looked after and still have money left over to make it worth working, I will just do the same when she is 14.

People want it all ways these days, they want their children to be adults before their time, then they complain about the way young girls dress and that the young are drinking and turning to drugs etc etc.... I am not suggesting that this young lad we are talking about will do that but how do we know??? Plenty of good kids turn bad without the correct supervison. I was never left at that age, I will not be leaving my daughter at that age. So thank you but that is FACT. Whether I sort leave at that time, me taking some, then OH taking some, or she goes to a friends, she will be doing something. FACT.

We are all different, i voiced my opinion on MY thoughts on leaving a 14 year old. Its just that MY opinion.

No, I don't know this lady, I am sure she is working to improve her family life etc etc but their ARE alternatives to her looking after the child. Why were you all so quick to assume I meant that i would be the one looking after my daughter? It might be one of the other options I gave. Which, are open to EVERYONE.

Thank you.


FACT.

uk+kiwi

[QUOTE=kato33;4993470]
I know. I find it interesting how the various forums have very different environments.

Lexylou

you people are pretty nuts.,..... what goes around comes around???? Are you serious?????? What because I said I would not leave my child unsupervised???? anyone would think I was a child abuser or somthing the way you wrote that..... Take a look at what you wrote and ask yourself if that is a NORMAL thing to say to someone who wants their child supervised???

Also I DO Work, I earn as much money as my husband and I worked until 5 days before I had my daughter and was back at work a few months later. It is MY responsibility to make sure she is safe, happy, etc etc and that will not stop when she is 14. Sorry, but it wont. She may LOOK 18 - 20 at that age, she may even act it but she will still be a minor. Still a child and I do not believe that a child should be left unsupervised. As I said before, not by me perhaps but there are OTHER OPTIONS.

Oh and the reason people do not post on here anymore is because it is so dull boring. I get pms all the time asking me to come back and post. Get a grip. I am allowed an opinion and my parenting is MY issue. Not yours. If you do not want opinions, do not post on an open forum asking for advice.

kato33

[QUOTE=uk+kiwi;4993487] Me thinks I need to find childcare quick for the little ones. Oops, thats right, I would then have to leave them longer as I would needa nother job just to pay for it.
My god, I am such a bad parent. I leave them to defend for themselves while I go out and enjoy my day slogging away just to make sure that the kids can have their hobbies and eat a well balanced meal.
Shoot me now and call childline.
Lexylou..... on this occasion please keep your opinions to yourself.

kato33

[QUOTE=kato33;4993502] If its so dull boring as you put it.............dont post on here.

Lexylou

Can you tell me where I stated that I don't work? You assume a lot don't you? You know NOTHING about me. Do not pass comment on things you clearly do not know anything about.

You women are the type that witch hunted in the past, had someone called a witch and put to death because they had a freckle or a mole.......

Lexylou

[QUOTE=kato33;4993510]
you say you feel guilty for leaving your children alone? Why is this? I thought you all agreed that there was nothing wrong with it? Odd that you feel guilty.

kato33

Pot and black come to mind.
Come back in 13 years time and tell us all about your rosie situation .

uk+kiwi

[QUOTE=Lexylou;4993486]
You're right, perhaps we (myself included) misunderstood this part from the tone of the message. Sorry. I am not trying to pick an argument with you Lexy, I honestly find it interesting the way you are so dogmatic in your views about years and years into the future that it raises my naturally curiousity in me, and in some it infuriates them.

I agree you, like everyone else are entitled to their opinions. But I would also hope you are open to then discussing them after posting them so strongly on a public forum. I'm sure you're game.

Can you not see how it is a bit blinkered and naive to be so assertive about what your situation will be like in 13 years time. (Do you actually live by a plan?) Although tbh, now that I'm typing this it's because I have made an error in assuming you are 'normal' and not uber rich. My potential mistake. So I suppose if you know you will always have money (through guaranteed investment returns or protected inheritance etc), no matter what infortune is thrown at you and your extended family over the next 13 years until your daughter is 14 herself, then you are absolutely right that you can be so definitive.

But then if this is the case some compassion for 'normal' people, who need to work to cover their costs of living, would be nice.

Otherwise, you really are putting unnecessary parental pressure on yourself IMO, don't you think? I know high standards are good by the way.

kato33

I am of to take my home alone children out for a while to the park.
So there won't be a reply, but then again, I don't really think I could be bothered anyway.

Night all and have a good afternoon those of you in the UK.