Help for a 14 yr old
 

Can anyone help.
My friend has 14 yr old hard working young man that she wants to be kept busy for the next 3 weeks, while they're off school.
They live in Lower Hutt - he likes cars. Maybe cleaning them? She'd be grateful for anything to keep him out of bother while she's at work.
Any ideas?

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Do firms in NZ not offer work experience schemes?

Re: School Hols -work needed for a 14 yr old boy
 

He's still at school and they are now off for 3 weeks, so she just wants a quick fix. To know he's doing something while she's at work. He's a good little grafter, but left in the house, he'll just stay in bed all day.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Cum on Ray or Richard from the Hutt, you must know someone that could use a hand or two. Especially up there in Riverstone Tce's.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

not sure a 14 year old should be left alone all day......

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

My oldest is only 11 so I don't yet have the experience to comment - but surely it would depend on the 14 yr old, all aren't the same :)

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

They are all different. My kids would have been horrified if they thought I wanted them babysat at 14yrs old.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Sorry Dee am in Auckland this week for a couple of days but will ask when back at work but very doubtful as to anything doing there.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Cheers Ray.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Nor do I, but in NZ legally they can and if you have to work what are you supposed to do?

I think 14 y.o.s can also babysit legally in NZ?

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

well regardless of what the Law says, how old the 14 year old appears to be (some girls age 10 look 18 but it does not mean that they ARE 18), I personally think that a 14 year old boy should not be left on his own for long periods of time. Call me old fashioned but that is MY opinion.

In NZ they let children drive cars, it does not mean it is right.

Regardless of what my daughter will be like age 14, I am her mother, I am responsible and she will not be on her own during the school holidays. Fact.

I thought people moved to NZ for more family time? or is this family Kiwi?

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Maybe mum works so that dad no longer has an 80 hour week? That gives them family time in the evenings and on weekends that they wouldn't otherwise have. Or, maybe she works so he can go through Uni without debt, she could be widowed or working her way out of benefits - who knows? Good on her for trying to find something to keep him working and interested. :thumbsup: I hope if she's like the majority of working mums I know, (feeling guilty, inadequate, stressed and unhappy forced to work because of money - that was certainly the case for me) she doesn't ever read your post, you'll just put unnecessary pressure on her when she's already trying to do her best.

It's easy to forecast how perfect you'll be before the event, please God your life doesn't get in the way of your politics. I couldn't even begin to tell you the things beyond our control that have happened to us over the last 12 yrs. We've got a solid 15 yr marriage we had stable, successful careers with excellent health and security. You can get 'side swiped' at any time without any warning - you just do the best for your children what ever happens.

Although, maybe you know her and she's awful and only works to support a designer clothes habit - in which case she deserves your venom. But there's nothing worse than mothers judging other mothers - it's hard enough as it is. :(

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

I agree that by 14, children should be able to be left without adult supervision, if their parents are happy to do so. There will of course be a HUGE variation in children's maturity at this age though. Some will be domestic goddesses, very practically minded and real ladies/gents. Others won't even be able to make a piece of toast, because they were never shown how!!

14 may sound young to us adults, but kids do deserve some credit. Or rather, we need to accept the credit for the upbringing that we (good parents) give to them, including providing them with the necessary skills to cope with daily issues.

Working mums are only at the end of a phone too.

It's worth pointing out that I thought differently only 2 years ago, but with my eldest now 7, I can see that by 14 she will be very mature and I think I'll be confident in leaving her. Kids can leave home at 16 (I didn't and suspect my kids won't), but if they're not well on their way to independence at 14, it's worth giving some thought as to what kind of adults they are going to be.

At 18, many go off very happily and capably to university.

So I think it depends hugely on the child. But it is legally allowed in both the UK & NZ. It's not saying we as parents want to leave them, just that we have the choice. Personally I would feel disappointed if I felt I couldn't leave my child by this age because I'd feel like a bit of a failure as their mother - admittedly because of the nature of my children already. I know some children are very emotionally immature and thus parental decisions would naturally be different.

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

Fantastic post. Agree wholeheartedly. :)

I particularly like the first line (for what it is, not in a personal sense.)

Life sure isn't always what people plan. It also has a habit of teaching you what you need to learn and getting people off one's high horses where kids are concerned - for example, the one thing I didn't want my kids to have was a dummy. Well after darling no.1 not sleeping for 7 weeks (how can a newborn stay awake for 18 hours on the trot?), I couldn't keep the cruelty up and gave in. Hated it and still hate seeing them, but I'm 100 % convinced it was a personal message being sent to knock me down a peg or two. Of course, no damage was done by aforementioned rubber suckers and they have long gone! And oh how lovely it would be to go back to those baby days :)

Re: Help for a 14 yr old
 

I know it's not the same as cars, but you mentioned he was a hard worker - my older boy helped out at the local disabled riding stables during the holidays. It was hard work which involved getting filthy and tired - but he loved it. The stables near us were always glad of responsible teenagers to do a little work experience. He was only 8 at the time and could ride a little, and I knew the staff well which is why I was happy to leave him for a few hours. His day consisted of shoveling, filling hay nets and water buckets, mucking out and grooming. He loved it - it was physical and calming all at the same time. Maybe there is a charity place nearby he could get involved with, not necessarily horses - so long as he's safe and happy and doing something constructive, it all builds confidence :D.