Betty Boot

At least you are prepared for that, mine have ranged from sheer elation at being back (the honeymoon period), to being frustrated with trying to sort out banks, form filling, jobs, etc, to sadness because of illness in the family, to joy on shopping trips , to happiness at being with family, to annoyance at being with family to now feeling well is this what I spent all those years crying, feeling low/depressed, ranting and raving about

The sheer highs and lows of it all is enough to make you wish the whole thing was just a dream, but its happened and what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger (or more prone to drinking )

Good luck Whisky and keep us up to date

Issie

Good luck Whisky........Hope everything works out ok for you

whisky

You are bound to be feeling like this. As you say above, you have spent years crying, feeling low and depressed. Then you go through the terrible upheavel of selling up and moving back to the UK, to return to the illness in the family, the winter weather of blighty and everything that is involved.

To move either way is hell itself, but both ways is more than stress can cope with.

I came out here as a family and am going back alone.
The stress of the last 18 months, i can honestly say nearly sent me right over the edge. If it weren't for a little help from my Dr, I am not sure how I would be right now.

BB, I understand that you aren't happy, but try and give yourself a little time to unwind from moving from Oz, then you will have the strength to make the next move on moving back again when the time is right. You are going to wear yourself out otherwise.


I know that the UK isn't perfect, but right now that is where I need to be, and I am going to try very hard to stay positive and not keep looking for the bad things. But there again its human nature even when a lot of these things don't involve us personally.

whisky

I am not sure what happened there but the last to paragraphs have been put in the oppositeway round to how i wrote them. Thats really wierd

chance to be

Well, if you are crackers, most of us on this site are too so feel at home!

i have now been back for 7mnths... still having the should i have done this/shouldnt i ? conversation. The only difference between having this conversation in Oz and having it in Uk is here in the Uk its not emmotive, ie, I have a bad day and think Id of been better off staying etc but then after the thought i just get on with doing something else (im so busy here!). In Oz when I had the "i shouldnt be here " thought i would be in floods of tears and full of guilt etc.

I dont know if that means im where i should be right now, or that Ive done emotions to death that I'm immune to them now!

All I can say with you, me, BBoot and whoever else is whatever you do at the time is RIGHT for YOU at that time and therefore make the best of it while its there safe in the knowledge to change your mind is a strengh, not a weakness.
It isnt that you couldnt/didnt hack it in Oz, its just the circumstances werent right at that particular time to be there.

In other words Oz didnt suit you, NOT you didnt suit it, at this time

But the good things about suits are you change change as often as is right for you!

Whiskey - you will be fine

chance to be

Yes, I feel like that most of the time too
Because of the circumstances under which i left i kinda feel Oz is unfinished business. I some days feel i need to go to make it succeed this time, but Whisky we all have different circumstances and when chapters end its time to write the next one. That why i truely believe you will be fine - you're not like me, leaving without clear endings. Very clear changes are going on for you - they can make this a really exciting time. you're not leaving under a half a cloud like i did
(Starting to sound like Polly - reaching for the wine....... ) time to stop!

HiddenPaw

Oh boy, do I feel the same!
The only thing I can console myself with is that even if I had stayed 4 years, 6 years, 10 years, I still might never have had that 100% answer about where I want to be. In other words, surely there is no "right" amount of time you have to give it before you *know*......is there? It's all about the individual....I think!

jad n rich

I think it goes back to having "opened the can of worms" .

Is either country going to be 100% right again. Youve seen both, there will always be a compromise now no matter which one you live in.

I bet if I ping ponged back, I could easily suddenly think australia had been the right choice, then I bet my butt if I came back all the things that bugged me in the first place would surface again after a while.

I am trying to get to grips with the fact that the only answer is to accept I cant have the benefits of both and life from now on will always be putting up with something somewhere else I cant have.

For me with older kids who are obviously vocal about this subject too its become more can I keep the family together rather than wheres best, that sounds awful, but I find it painful to see the amount of broken marriages, or split families (the kids living elsewhere) that come out of this.

FPM

Everyone told me how hard it would be to open bank accts when we aere there, but it was easy. NatWest were complete tossers and I walked out after being refused a request to even get a photocopy of the list of 'things' that were required.

Walked across the road to my old Midland, which is now HSBC and they could not have been more helpful. They didn't have my old details any more but I was given an account on the spot (luckily my old UK licence is still in my parent's home address) and the guy did his absolute best to get Yoosun set up with an account that day, but after ringing several depts at head office he said he very much regretted that he could not open an account for her that day, but if she can get a letter from her Oz uni all would be good. 5 days later the letter turned up and she was set.

We were given Premier (or Platinum) accounts because we had more than a certain amount in. All that money is back in Oz now, but we kept the accounts open just in case.

by the sea side

We also found the nat west really bad and midlands just fine.We have a bank account in the uk which we have kept and we keep active.

northernbird

and we have been with the Natwest for 20+ years and they have always been excellent.

TraceyW

When I was in the UK I had been with the Natwest for nearly 20 years too and they'd always been great. However, I closed my account because they refused to give me the same benefits with my credit card that they give new customers. You know, 0% interest for 6 months etc. Even the staff in there agreed it was really bad not to give loyal customers the same perks that a newbie off the street could get. But I guess it's the same with most banks, not just the Natwest.

by the sea side

I understand the split family thing.I came to Australia with my parents in 1968. I never liked the place even then and realized I hadn't seen my own country. When I was old enough I went home but my family were here so after travelling around a bit has well I came back with an Irish husband in tow. I was glad to be with my family but I wanted to live in the uk my husband wanted to go back to belfast this was in the 70s and I just couldn't do that.He took off back to Belfast with our daughter.

I met some one else who is English and had no desire to go to the uk I got on with my life.We had 3 Aussie born children.We went back to the uk and I was in heaven but you guessed it the 2 eldest boys wanted to come back and the youngest couldn't remember it so thought it would be good.

So we decided to return because we didn't want to split the family up.I tried to convince the family not to sell the house but we did.I am still smarting over this.I have now learnt that you can't live your life for your adult children.My youngest loves uk and can't stand the oz attitude.The eldest is marring an English girl she is due to go back to the uk to get her spouse visa, she doesn't like it here and doesn't want to live here but will try somewhere else in oz .The middle son runs England down but he's going back again for the second time in less than 2 years!

So we have decided we will go home in 2 years time.Enough to see how the eldest one gets on but we think he will end up back in the uk hes not bothered either way he sees good and bad in both.The youngest well that will depend on which uni and how long,and the middle one is with an Australian girl and. I guess what will be will be.For us it will never be right again and many people perhaps don't realize that when emigrating there's much more to consider.

by the sea side

Your post is so very true but in reverse for me. I hope you get what you need and want

whisky

This is very true.
My nightmare is that I have a 15 year old, who says she wants to stay with her dad. I decided that I won't kick up a fuss (though it kills me inside) and let her go through this process.
My real feelings are to tell her she is coming back and thats that, but I want it to be her decision. I am hoping that she will change her mind eventually.
My eldest daughter lives in the UK. She has been so unhappy with us being out here.
If only I could erase the last 4 years and start again.

Whisky