Celtic Roses

HI HP

Sounds like you are happy where you are - don't analyse too much, what will be will be, we lived in UK for 11 yrs and had two kids and thought grass was greener on the other side (Ireland) Grandparents weren't seeing too much of kids etc., although where we now live in Eire is 4 hours drive away from parents. We have had another rugrat since and just still have the grass is greener feeling. Always wanted to try OZ but one year went to another and just recently OH decided we should try for Visa b4 its 2 late - he is 42 and cut off is 45. We go from one month to the next excited - can't wait, to next month - no way have satisfactory life here etc., house, schools good, etc. Just feel something else out there for us and only here once dah dah you know the score. Will only really know what to do when Visa comes if ever - at least decision will have to be made one way or another- pray for guidance if there is someone up there!


Marie

FPM

We upset a few when I had to tell the folks we were heading back here. My mum was very upset, my dad and sister less so, but my sister and dad were worried because they knew I was not coming back here willingly (my Korean wife didn't 'hate' the UK but couldn't see the 'value').,

Let's say you're not a tradesperson, or a high flying banker/accountant in London. It'd be pretty hard on paper to see how the UK comes out ahead of Oz. But it does not take in the emotional factor and sense of belonging. My wife comes from a country that has been invaded by Mongolia, China, and Japan, is split down the middle and sitting next to a guy with his finger on a very dangerous trigger. She has no desperate desire to go home or feel as though she belongs anywhere. As long there is a good uni she's pretty happy (bloody braniac ).

I think it depends on which criteria you apply to whether to move back (either way) and there are many different models you could choose. I fail to see how OP's decision is a 'wake up' to anybody on this forum. We all make our decisions based on our individual make up and circumstances. I made mine on being more interested in keeping my marriage together that living in England (just!), but only on the proviso that we find a neutral country we both like and get the hell out of here at an appropriate time. If this doesn't happen one of two things will happen. I shall be terminally depressed or our marriage will fail (eventually).

Just because one person decides to come back here again (and good on her for being honest) doesn't instantly make everyone who wants to go home 'wrong' and neither is it concern for anyone else to question their own decisions/desires. Be your own person (which is a little hypocritical seeing as I just said I came back here for the wife I know ).

Actually we had a small breakthrough the other day with my wife saying that she can see now how important it was and would try again, under different circumstances (ie one of has has a lucrative job to go to and we score an expat package), then the other day she said she'd like to have a B&B in Europe with one of us working full time!

Wimmin eh?

woodyinoz

Fantastic post BB

You are in a position that many of us dread and reading that others are brave enough to ping pom always helps those people.

Do you think that it being winter has pushed you into this decision?

Jessie James

I would be interested to hear how winter affects (or doesn't) people's experiences of returning to the UK. We are planning to move back for Christmas next year and my mum told me yesterday that everyone she tells (half the county most likely! ) says that we must be mad for choosing to move back at such a grim time of year and I'm starting to wonder....!

Main reasons for choosing then are: we can't afford it until then; it seems a good time to be waiting around for a container since not much goes on at that time of year anyway and (purely emotional me) I really can't stand the thought of another Christmas here!

On the down side one of my partner's reasons for wanting to stay here was the grim weather back home so is it a good idea to be moving in the midst of it??

jad n rich

Very good point.

As soon as BB posted, there was a reply which came across in a " " sort of way saying " all you on the UK forum, listen to her, have a good think about what you are doing."

As if people dont think about what they are doing, its probably costing them a fortune not only financially but even more emotionally.

I have seen people go back to UK after 6 weeks and just about everything inbetween to a couple who went back after 13 years. Some have stayed in the UK, some have moved on one lot to spain, one lot to canada. AND some have moved back to OZ again, only to end up ping ponging all over again.

Its different for everyone.

northernbird

actually my reply was not meant to be anything like a " " type of post. when you are homesick you see nothing but a return to your homeland and no amount of telling you that you are better off staying where you are can convince you. You are going home as soon as possible and that is that. It is useful to other posters to see that we are often blinkered about our homeland and its benefits when living overseas. It was not pro australia, anti UK post. I could post my experiences of homesickness and returning to the UK if you like.

FPM

[QUOTE=northernbird] True enough. My experience was very different. I had to empathise with someone who had no attachment to either place, and I can't say I coped with that very well. I've never shouted at my wife (and hopefully never will) but inside i was screaming 'WHY CAN'T YOU FEEL WHAT I CAN FEEL HERE?",,all to no avail of course.

The weather is an interesting point. Last year we took a couple of months off and went to England and France. First time for my wife. She loved it all. But of course when we moved in mid Feb it was snowing, windy, dark and on top of that she had a trapped nerve in her neck, then she got an eye infection ( both of which treated by a local GP, no form filling, no paying or any of that Medicare stuff. She just showed her visa and was ushered in).

Given all that, and the fact that she would have had to study distance (Charles Sturt Uni at Bathurst did her course), I think it all overwhelmed her. I reckon she would live there, but I reckon we went with a few too many obstacles, all of which did not help her see England in the same way I did.

That mistake can happen in either direction.

I've been here a long time, and spoke to a lot of Brits that either want to go back, or don't. If I could be allowed one generalisation (and no offence intended) I'd say the majority that don't want to return to the UK are from the North. Southerners seem keener to go back, or at least try. Not sure why, it just seems that way to me.

northernbird

[QUOTE=FPM] no offence taken. Although born in the north and proud of my roots I have only lived in Lancashire for 5 years of my 36 years on this planet, all of which when I was a child.

FPM

[QUOTE=northernbird] I know you wouldn't take offence it more of a general thing. I can't say I've ever lived in the North. I've been to see Radiohead at Warrington and had some nice weekends up the Lake District and that's about it.

It does seem to me though that the people I talk to from of up North are much more content here, in general.

LouiseD

[QUOTE=FPM] I'm from the North West of England and I whilst I know that I don't want to live here in Australia, and do want to return to the UK, I don't relish the thought of going back to my hometown at all. I do feel that many of the "nicer" places to live in England are in the South, though obviously not all.

northernbird

[QUOTE=LouiseD] Exactly, my home town although on the edge of the lakes is very picturesque I can't imagine for a minute living there now as a family with children. now that would be dullsville.

LouiseD

[QUOTE=northernbird] I'm from St Helens, right between Manchester and Liverpool so good nightlife for our daughters, great shopping, good access to motorway networks etc. but as far away from pituresque as the Pope is from Pete Doherty. Hubby would like to live in Keswick but I'd prefer Brighton!

FPM

I'm from Somerset, and dream of living in Dorset/Devon (although I'm from South Somerset which is nice as well). Jobs are easy to come by, the trouble is with the South West (Dorset and beyond) is that balance between house prices and wages is way out of wack (nice houses anyway). A much better balance can be had IMO in places like Swindon, Newbury and surrounds. You can reach the metropolis of Reading or Bristol easily, by an affordable house and be surrounded by the lovely countryside.

northernbird

[QUOTE=LouiseD] Lancaster, Morecambe and Kendal are the nearest towns to my home village, not the most exciting places in the world.

Exile

[QUOTE=northernbird] There was someone on here who went back to York, and I can see how that would have made it easy to go back.

North or south, I think going back to a beautiful area would definitely cushion the blow. If sunshine is important to you, I think the south has the advantage though.

I'm from Dorset, and it really is a nice area (was back in April, and it was still beautiful, if a little busier), but I don't want to be too close to my family, so looking at Hampshire or Wiltshire (I calculate optimum distance = 45 minute drive, so they won't be dropping in every five minutes, but when they do come they won't expect to stay overnight).

The family thing seems to be a big issue, as it looks like a few who go back mainly for that reason end up disappointed. I think you really have to want to do it for yourself too.