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My experience of being back

My experience of being back

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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:34 am
  #46  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=northernbird]
Originally Posted by LouiseD

Lancaster, Morecambe and Kendal are the nearest towns to my home village, not the most exciting places in the world.
It's Kendal hubby wants to live, not Keswick sorry. He loves Kendal and thinks it's nice and close to the M6 for commuting etc. but far enough away from industry life.
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:38 am
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=LouiseD]
Originally Posted by northernbird

It's Kendal hubby wants to live, not Keswick sorry. He loves Kendal and thinks it's nice and close to the M6 for commuting etc. but far enough away from industry life.
Lovely looking town but dull as dishwater.
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:40 am
  #48  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=LouiseD]
Originally Posted by northernbird

It's Kendal hubby wants to live, not Keswick sorry. He loves Kendal and thinks it's nice and close to the M6 for commuting etc. but far enough away from industry life.

We had a lovely time in Conniston last year, beautiful. Kept wishing I'd brought my bike We had Cumberland sausage for the first time as well, and i managed to 'force' down a

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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:46 am
  #49  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=northernbird]
Originally Posted by LouiseD

Lovely looking town but dull as dishwater.
I agree - lovely to visit but I couldn't imagine living there - the girls would be more horrified than moving here (mind you, at least they have a few pubs within walking distance). I asked him if he fancied living the single life
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:48 am
  #50  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=Exile]
Originally Posted by northernbird

There was someone on here who went back to York, and I can see how that would have made it easy to go back.

North or south, I think going back to a beautiful area would definitely cushion the blow. If sunshine is important to you, I think the south has the advantage though.

I'm from Dorset, and it really is a nice area (was back in April, and it was still beautiful, if a little busier), but I don't want to be too close to my family, so looking at Hampshire or Wiltshire (I calculate optimum distance = 45 minute drive, so they won't be dropping in every five minutes, but when they do come they won't expect to stay overnight).

The family thing seems to be a big issue, as it looks like a few who go back mainly for that reason end up disappointed. I think you really have to want to do it for yourself too.
There seem to have been many that have gone back with high expectations of family. Maybe due to pressure being exerted whilst living in the other country. Many of these people have ended up ping pong-ing back and I guess that you are right that you must make the move for yourself at the end of the day. Like you we are not going to be living on my parents doorstep although FIL is going to be buying a place with us. He was going to move out here but I never felt settled enough to allow him to up root at his age. We have had to be sure that we are not moving back just for this reason and it is where we really want to be. (hopefully )
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:49 am
  #51  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=FPM]
Originally Posted by LouiseD


We had a lovely time in Conniston last year, beautiful. Kept wishing I'd brought my bike We had Cumberland sausage for the first time as well, and i managed to 'force' down a

Luvvurrly
Yes the lakes are really beautiful - especially when the weather is good - if you time it right for that day, you're ok.

mmmmm proper cumberland sausage and a pint - sounds great! It's the little tea shops I love, freshly baked apple pies, scones with jam and cream. Oh gawd I'm getting hungry again now and I've just had my lunch!
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:57 am
  #52  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=woodyinoz]
Originally Posted by Exile
There seem to have been many that have gone back with high expectations of family. Maybe due to pressure being exerted whilst living in the other country. Many of these people have ended up ping pong-ing back and I guess that you are right that you must make the move for yourself at the end of the day. Like you we are not going to be living on my parents doorstep although FIL is going to be buying a place with us. He was going to move out here but I never felt settled enough to allow him to up root at his age. We have had to be sure that we are not moving back just for this reason and it is where we really want to be. (hopefully )
It's right that you can't move for other people. Obviously if your family mean the world to you and missing them is ruining your life then that's different. I certainly wouldn't move back for family at all unless there was a crisis or something. Being here has made us much more independent.

As much as I miss them, one of the things I don't want to go back to, is having family on the doorstep, calling in all the time - sounds awful I know but I've sort of got used to being without them all. It's bad enough when MIL rings us and moans for an hour without pausing for breath - and that's only about once a month.
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:57 am
  #53  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=Exile]
Originally Posted by northernbird

There was someone on here who went back to York, and I can see how that would have made it easy to go back.

North or south, I think going back to a beautiful area would definitely cushion the blow. If sunshine is important to you, I think the south has the advantage though.

I'm from Dorset, and it really is a nice area (was back in April, and it was still beautiful, if a little busier), but I don't want to be too close to my family, so looking at Hampshire or Wiltshire (I calculate optimum distance = 45 minute drive, so they won't be dropping in every five minutes, but when they do come they won't expect to stay overnight).

The family thing seems to be a big issue, as it looks like a few who go back mainly for that reason end up disappointed. I think you really have to want to do it for yourself too.
We are going back next year late summer to our home in peasedown st john which we rented out. OH has never settled but the kids now grown will stay here. I envisage us going back and him thinking about returning after a while
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 1:59 am
  #54  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=FPM]
Originally Posted by northernbird

I know you wouldn't take offence it more of a general thing. I can't say I've ever lived in the North. I've been to see Radiohead at Warrington and had some nice weekends up the Lake District and that's about it.

It does seem to me though that the people I talk to from of up North are much more content here, in general.
Hi there..i am from the North and would love to return there. Reasons being family, friends, shopping, nightlife, in the middle of everything really.
I wouldn't live anywhere else as i don't know anybody in other areas. My kids crave for there lives back to normality as they say.
But i keep saying i don't hate OZ i just find it boring. I don't want to grow old here as there is so much in life to do and it ain't gonna be found here!

I love reading ping-pong posts as i will probably be one of them too, but i will have to do it or i will never know. These things need to be done to put your mind and sanity at rest
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 2:03 am
  #55  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=LouiseD]
Originally Posted by FPM

Yes the lakes are really beautiful - especially when the weather is good - if you time it right for that day, you're ok.

mmmmm proper cumberland sausage and a pint - sounds great! It's the little tea shops I love, freshly baked apple pies, scones with jam and cream. Oh gawd I'm getting hungry again now and I've just had my lunch!
hehe, weather wise, we were there three days and the first two were glorious, and the third, err, wasn't

I can't remember where we went after that, oh yes, I do believe we headed south to my sister's in Stokenchurch, Bucks, then caught the train for three sunfilled days in London taking in the shows and all the sights, then we went First Class on the Eurostar to Paris and stayed in a cute 8 room hotel 10mins walk from the Champs Elysee.

Not to rub it in or anything

(btw if it maked you feel better, it rained in Paris Although that was just an excuse for Mrs FPM to spend up big at Galleria Lafayette :scared: )
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 2:04 am
  #56  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=woodyinoz]
Originally Posted by Exile
There seem to have been many that have gone back with high expectations of family. Maybe due to pressure being exerted whilst living in the other country. Many of these people have ended up ping pong-ing back and I guess that you are right that you must make the move for yourself at the end of the day. Like you we are not going to be living on my parents doorstep although FIL is going to be buying a place with us. He was going to move out here but I never felt settled enough to allow him to up root at his age. We have had to be sure that we are not moving back just for this reason and it is where we really want to be. (hopefully )
Sounds like a wise move. There is no way I would let my parents move here, even though they came for two months last year and loved it.

This going back business is so difficult. I have seen quite a few people go back citing the same reasons I feel unsettled here, only to ping pong back again. I have spent a lot of time trying to analyse factors that could make you more likely to have a bad reaction to going home.

The mind's capacity for self-deception seems to be such that at the end of the day, there is only one way to find out what you really want (not even then, sometimes).
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 2:07 am
  #57  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=barkingRockateer]
Originally Posted by Exile

We are going back next year late summer to our home in peasedown st john which we rented out. OH has never settled but the kids now grown will stay here. I envisage us going back and him thinking about returning after a while

Peasdown St John? that's pretty close to me, I'm from Wells. I haven't been through for years since they put that big new round-a-bout in. I do remember a big new Merc showroom opening up close to there?
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 2:11 am
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=FPM]
Originally Posted by barkingRockateer


Peasdown St John? that's pretty close to me, I'm from Wells. I haven't been through for years since they put that big new round-a-bout in. I do remember a big new Merc showroom opening up close to there?
I believe that is now the field I used to run my dog on. Our daughter was there is August and said they have a roundabout and traffic lights and the mercedes garage is now on the old field which used to be full of dandelions. Small world isnt it ?
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 3:01 am
  #59  
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Default Re: My experience of being back

[QUOTE=barkingRockateer]
Originally Posted by FPM

I believe that is now the field I used to run my dog on. Our daughter was there is August and said they have a roundabout and traffic lights and the mercedes garage is now on the old field which used to be full of dandelions. Small world isnt it ?
Sure is a small world.

On my last few visits when I've been driving from Wells to Bath and beyond (me and my sister always disagree on how to get to the M4. I go via Bath, she goes via Bristol, M25 ) I've noticed a sign on that roundabout indicating turn left for PSJ. Someone has sprayed RIP underneath Presumably because of the bypass.

Big Argos close by though
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Old Nov 27th 2006, 7:19 am
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Default Re: My experience of being back

Originally Posted by HiddenPaw
When are you going back, and how soon beforehand do you think you will break the news?
I would hope to go back by next September for a few reasons, firstly because my FIL is ill and we dont know how much longer we will get to spend with him (it may also seem unkind to my MIL to rush away if anything awful were to happen), I would like to spend another summer in the UK so that we can see a bit more of the beautiful english countryside and finally my eldest will be ready for starting school here in September, I would hate to send her to school only to move her away again so we would need to get back in time for starting school the following Feb in Oz - phew, does all that make sense All these extra factors to take into consideration certainly make things seem more difficult! To be honest we would probably leave early next year when our tenancy on the rental runs out and my husbands contract runs out, that would make more sense but we just couldnt leave while things are so awful with my FIL.

In terms of when do we tell them We have sort of indicated to my in laws that we arent buying a house as we are unsure if we want to be here, they are quite understanding of that because they love Oz so much and thought we were foolish to return in the first place so telling them isnt the tricky part! My family will be totally heartbroken, I can understand the emotional blackmail you feel under, my mum says things like "it would kill me if I didnt see my grandkids anymore" :scared: so i really dont know how or when i can go about it. My own grandparents are so excited about spending Xmas with our kids there is no way i am going to say it may be the last time. It is just a hideous situation but i still feel strongly that is the best thing for us.
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