My experience of being back
 

Haven't posted on this site for ages because things have been so hectic since returning. Now that things are settling down i just thought i would like to share my experiences with people, not to influence anyones decisions, just to share a point of view.

After 6 years of living in Oz we finally decided to move back to the UK with 2 aussie kids in tow! It seems like it was a case of being there one minute, the house sold in one day and we were packed up and back home within 2 months, didnt really have time to think about it or worry too much about the outcome. I have always been homesick at some point in time whereas my husband really doesn't care much for the UK so i have always felt the decision to return has been made more difficult.

Anyway, after getting back, moving into my parents for 2 months (which was a nightmare!!!), setting up bank accounts (even more of a nightmare!!), getting a rental (not too tricky but bloody expensive), getting my daughter into nursery (which she cries about going to but never did in Oz), chasing numerous agencies and my husband getting contract work (which pays surprisingly well) and basically trying to establish our lives again, I can safely say it has been one of the toughest times of our lives :eek:

I believe everything happens for a reason because as soon as we got back my FIL was diagnosed with cancer and is really very sick, there is no way we would have been able to cope with that being so far away so I believe it would have been the deciding factor for us to return. We are grateful we are here to help my FIL and family members, saying that it has also added a lot more stress to an already stressful situation.

We decided that to help us settle we should to buy a home of our own and for me to return to work as i have always stayed home with the kids, we have now changed our minds as we just cant see this move as permanent :confused: After the initial excitement of being back has worn off and you stop running around like an idiot to get everything sorted we have sat back and said - is this what we really want? The answer for us is no. I never appreciated what I had in Oz and how simple my life really was, I thought it was too simple and boring but i would take it all back in a flash, i didnt realise how good my friends were there and i thought my family could be the centre of our lives - big mistake :o

During this whole process my husband hasn't complained, he has gone to work (although he detests the travelling times to and from work and the traffic jams!), i know he hates this awful weather (because I can now admit to myself it really is grim) but he has settled in OK, surprisingly after all those years of complaining about Oz, is me who feels we should return at some point :o

So we are going to continue renting a home, my husband is going to carry on contracting and as soon as timing is right we will be going back!

We have wasted a lot of money, will have upset a lot of people and will probably have put ourselves well behind in the housing market (with the way Perth prices are going) but I have to say - no regrets, i came, i saw, i changed my mind (woman's prerogative!!) and will be going back. If we hadn't have done it i would have always lived my life with what ifs. So this post isn't to put people off because i believe i had to do it to answer a question, i just wanted to share my experience :beer: Good luck with whatever you decide

Re: My experience of being back
 

Loved your honesty in this post and i think only you and your Oh know what is the right thing to do and obviously you thought coming home was one of them but hindsight it wasn't although it was the right thing to do at time......Good luck in the future and i hope that your return to Oz will come soon for you :)

Re: My experience of being back
 

hello BB,

I am glad you came back just to see where it is you want to be in the future. I find this time of year really hard weather wise, gets me down and this is when I want to jump on a plane back to Oz.!!I agree I miss the "simple"life back in Oz although for now we are pretty happy and settled here in dark, grey england..!!

Anyway its good to read how you feel, enjoy what time you do have here in UK. Hope your FIL is comfortable and at least he does have you guys here rather than 12,000 miles away.!!

Wishing you a less stressful time and just think its not forever..!!

P ;)

Re: My experience of being back
 

Hi Betty

Sometimes you just have to be in the other place to realise that you were right all along. I wish you every success in a return to Oz soon.

Re: My experience of being back
 

Hey, it is your life, and it takes a move back to the U.K to appreciate what you had in Aus, you will appreciate it more on your return.
Life to me is one big test and you only get one go.
Make yourself happy and be where you need to be.
Like Issie said - your honesty is something that we value.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck whatever you decide :)
J x

Re: My experience of being back
 

The shipping companies must love Ping pong poms ;) Theres been quite a few ping pongers on this forum recently, who decide to move back to OZ again.
Going back was'nt a waste of money as it made you decide which country you prefer to live in.

Re: My experience of being back
 

Great post, hope everything works out for you. :)

Re: My experience of being back
 

Such an honest post and soooooooo reflective of my situation.

My OH loves it here, I'm always homesick. I'm terrified of doing the same as you. I don't mean any disrespect by that at all, I just don't want the upheaval and heartache....I feel I've had enough to last two lifetimes! :rolleyes:

Good luck with your future plans and I hope you're FIL recovers soon.

Sending you many best wishes xx :)

Re: My experience of being back
 

Sometimes you think that you want something, you chase it and then when you have it, you realise that it isn't what you wanted at all, as the saying goes, you only miss something when it's gone. But it's true that things happen for a reason and at least you are there to support your FIL through this difficult time.

At least when you do return hopefully you can settle without all the homesick feelings and I suppose that you had to try it to find out. For some people it works out here, for others it doesn't. For some people it works out going home, for others it doesn't. But you know now where you belong.

Wish you lots of luck.

Re: My experience of being back
 

Great post Betty. Thank you for sharing that with us. The best of luck to you all, and hope FIL gets better soon.

Re: My experience of being back
 

good luck Betty in whatever/wherever you are. Lifes so damn difficult isnt it? :rolleyes: But now youve made your decision, hopefully you can enjoy the last few weeks in england for what it is, happy in the knowledge you are moving on.
best wishes
c

Re: My experience of being back
 

Excellent post, refreshingly honest and something for the people on this forum to read and think long and hard about.

Hope your FIL is feeling a little better and good luck with your move back to Perth

Re: My experience of being back
 

Thanks for all the kind words of support :) Its good to know there are people who understand - unfortunately my family wont be in that category!!

I think I always knew what the outcome would be I just had to prove it! For those of you in the same situation I would say - try to keep your house, we just couldnt afford to as we needed the money to return and were worried about not getting a job here, now in hindsight we could have afforded it because we should have just used some of the equity in our home - we just werent to know how things would turn out, we also felt we might not have given it a fair go if we could so easily return to our home, so now it's back to starting over again :scared:

Another point I would make is that people used to say why dont you just go back for a holiday? We did, twice, but it isnt reality, funnily enough i used to be glad to get back to Perth after a trip back (both times in the dead of winter!!!) because you want to be in your own home again and not living with other people, but it still didnt convince me that perth is where I should be because I thought living here in the UK would be better than just being here on holiday :rolleyes: There also comes a point when you cant cant afford to keep coming back on holiday or you want to use your holiday time to go somewhere else, it really is a no win situation unless you accept that there will always be some form of homesickness but just try to embrace your circumstances and be happy :)

Re: My experience of being back
 

Good onya mate, I hope it all works out for you.

I really admire ping-pongers like yourself - regardless of which place they finally choose to live in. It takes a great deal of courage to make such a big move in the first place, and just as much (if not more!) to do it all over again.

Best of British luck for the future. Karma sent. :)

Re: My experience of being back
 

Our minds are there for changing.
No doubt I will be changing mine about a few things in a couple of weeks.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Whisky