How many actually return?

Old Apr 21st 2007, 5:58 pm
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Tootsie Frickensprinkles
We have old friends in Australia, went out over 35 years ago on the ten pound boat trip. A number of the husbands family also went. We see them every couple of years, often seem to be coming back for funerals these days.

To this day, Bren says they would come back if they could. And that they knew that from very early on. They have kids and grandkids with lives there now etc etc, they arent unhappy and dont want to leave them, couldnt afford to go back to the UK I dont think anyway.

At any stage of the journey, it's horses for courses.
I understand what you are saying. We've all had great lives, but my mum, who didn't work and doesn't drive, has had it tough. I reckon she would have gone back at any time, given the opportunity.
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Old Apr 21st 2007, 7:26 pm
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by LouiseD
But to make an informed decision as to what is right for you, you need all the facts, not just one version of them. So many people emigrate based on seeing these happy successful families enjoying their wonderful life. Now all of us who have emigrated know that it isn't easy. It's bloody difficult, both emotionally and financially. My point is this. Why only show one side of things. It isn't a case of being put off by a strangers experience at all. Its about seeing both sides. Good and bad. If everyone sees only the good parts everyone is going to get one picture only. Forewarned is forearmed. So many people hear tales of how they are going to be so much better off, have so much better quality of life etc. People watch the likes of GMTV a few weeks ago, showing images of miserable grey skies with rain and gloom, then they cut to a beautiful blue sky, blue sea and lovely empty beach and ask "How would you like to swap the cold grey days of the UK for this" and then carry on to show happy smiley families with huge houses, swimming pools all having fun in the sun. Only after complaints about it did they give a tiny indication that those big houses which they had told viewers cost peanuts were actually hours away from civilisation!

And just so that you do understand about losing a house. It isn't a case of just selling it to move. Many people sell up and use their equity to set up in their new country. When they arrive in said new country they don't find work immediately and then when they do find work its much lower paid than previously thought, they find that they have to use their savings to pay the bills, the rent etc. This is completely different to what has been shown on TV and so different to what people have been told at seminars. They assumed that their job was in demand.

When the funds are going downhill fast, they then realise that they need to make a decision. Go totally bust in new country or get home pronto to earn a decent wage again. Going home with furniture, pets and family costs money. So because they are on crap wages and can't afford to pay the rent let alone shipping fees and flights, guess where that money comes from? The equity. So they arrive home after their little adventure with no money and no house.

Now do not misunderstand me. No one forced me to go. No one forced me to sell up, risk everything and look for a "better" life. I am the first to admit that I was stupid. It was our decision. I had a nice life here and I damn well wished I'd been wise enough to see what I had. But I wasn't. I saw the programmes on TV and I liked what I saw so I was sucked in. All I'm saying is that if programme makers showed both sides, it may, just may, make a few more people think a bit more carefully about what they are doing and the risks they are taking. I stupidly thought that we couldn't lose. I just thought that if we didn't like it we would return to the UK, pick up where we left off and carry on as normal

Foolish? Yes. On my own? Unfortunately not. All I would like to see is a bit of reality rather than these rosy versions so that others don't go through what we have. I just really hate the thought that so many other people will lose out so much because of this one sided image we have here :curse:

Glad for you that you've made the right choice though
You are very correct if you were 'moved' by stories of wonderland to offer the caveat that you do. I only came across these websites after I got here so I personally had no illusions about others so called 'perfect' lives!! We moved because we thought it was a good idea and things were not as 'good' as they might have been for us in the UK.

But as you say this is not for the feint hearted. It has been an exceedingly hard and costly 2 years..and the mistakes I made because of my sheer ignorance and stupidity have been MONUMENTAL!!! Much as I love my new life I do miss much about the UK. Being so far from kith and kin, being so far from europe, living in a country with limited history, very, very few old buildings, no old villages or awesome places like Dartmouth etc...all things that I miss dearly and will do for ever. On the plus side NZ has many positives and they work for me and Kate and our 3 very young children.

It is so correct that people must know that there are 2 sides, the positive and the negative in this type of venture. Determination, being a bit hard nosed and patience are all prerequisites of this emigration merlarky..and the ability to throw a fair bit of cash at it are all ever so important.

In that perfect world I would rest here for 8 months a year and the other 4 in blighty!!!!
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Old Apr 21st 2007, 8:30 pm
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Genesis
In that perfect world I would rest here for 8 months a year and the other 4 in blighty!!!!
Aye - give me October till January in Florida (love Christmas there). January till April in Oz, April till October in Uk and I'd be a happy bunny
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Old Apr 21st 2007, 9:38 pm
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Default Re: How many actually return?

For those who based their dreams on all these wonderful programmes of successful people all having a better lifestyle, etc, if you watched a programme based on migrants who had come to UK and were living a 5 star lifestyle also, would you have decided to stay in UK based on them? There are many migrants who have come from disadvantaged backgrounds and lack of education in comparison to their British counterparts yet many have made more of a success of their lives than many British people who had the advantages. Many on the rich list have come from other countries and were also poor there. So maybe those migrants who make a success of their adopted country ride through the hardship and are motivated in making their lives better than they were, whatever it takes to get there.

Many migrants also have had good lives, nice homes etc and then there is political upheaval in their countries and they lose everything and have to start over again, some in another country with a different language and they do and many make a success of it without moaning about what they lost. But they didn't have any choice in losing what they had, many on here had the choice. At the end of the day there are many migrants who make a success of their new country and there are some who don't where ever they are and that is often down to them.
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Old Apr 22nd 2007, 7:02 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Shame we can't 'sue' them for false advertising then eh?
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Old Apr 22nd 2007, 7:27 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Mercedes
For those who based their dreams on all these wonderful programmes of successful people all having a better lifestyle, etc, if you watched a programme based on migrants who had come to UK and were living a 5 star lifestyle also, would you have decided to stay in UK based on them? There are many migrants who have come from disadvantaged backgrounds and lack of education in comparison to their British counterparts yet many have made more of a success of their lives than many British people who had the advantages. Many on the rich list have come from other countries and were also poor there. So maybe those migrants who make a success of their adopted country ride through the hardship and are motivated in making their lives better than they were, whatever it takes to get there.

Many migrants also have had good lives, nice homes etc and then there is political upheaval in their countries and they lose everything and have to start over again, some in another country with a different language and they do and many make a success of it without moaning about what they lost. But they didn't have any choice in losing what they had, many on here had the choice. At the end of the day there are many migrants who make a success of their new country and there are some who don't where ever they are and that is often down to them.

Sorry Mercedes but I just don't get your point here at all

Yes there are people the world over who make a success of their lives, people who suffer great hardship and then end up living luxurious lifestyles through sheer hard work and determination. I totally admire them.

But I don't understand what that has to do with TV programmes showing totally unrealistic images of what life is like in Oz.

And I can't understand why you comment about people moaning about what they've lost - who is moaning? I seem to remember a post of yours telling everyone that you had lost everything - were you moaning? Is it not sensible and fair to others to warn them that they could lose their life's savings if things go wrong? I personally think it's cruel not to. I wouldn't ever advise anyone not to emigrate but I feel strongly that people should be given a realistic view so that they can decide for themselves if they like what they see and want to take that risk.

Last edited by LouiseD; Apr 22nd 2007 at 7:57 am. Reason: To add a bit
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 4:28 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by LouiseD
It's hard work isn't it trying to convince people that it just isn't paradise and yes people do see only what they want to see. I had another conversation with my mum yesterday (she loves it and wanted us to stay there so she could get in). She's convinced that all Aussie kids are polite well mannered, disciplined individuals, that Australia is filled with small privately owned shops (no big multi nationals at all), there are no drugs, no violence and it's spotless all the time because the Aussies have such pride in their surroundings unlike us mucky lot

Needless to say my visits are becoming less frequent than they used to be.

It's hilarious isn't it? My FIL is convinced it's full of small individually owned shops too, and YES there are plenty, but there's also Kmart, BigW, Target, Myer etc etc!!! He's always complaining how everything nowadays in the UK is "Made in China"
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 4:32 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by JAJ
Determination. If you migrate - can you see the process through or will you want to come home at the first difficulty, homesickness. Many people do, it's hard to see that as anything other than failure.
Can't agree with this bit, if you go back home - you have at least suceeded in knowing where you want to live - how do you know before you try?

I would have labelled myself as "migrant material" - but I've been as depressed and homesick as hell - even though this is the 5th country I've lived in!!

One doesn't know what it's like living here unless one tries it - and if one doesn't like it and returns - then surely that can't be called "failure".

Last edited by MrsB; Apr 23rd 2007 at 4:37 am.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 4:50 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Mrs Best
I would have labelled myself as "migrant material" - but I've been as depressed and homesick as hell - even though this is the 5th country I've lived in!!
Interesting, as I'd also lived abroad without a hint of homesickness for many years before I came straight to Australia. That's when the problems started.

Suggests to me that it is not always about stepping out of your comfort zone. I think some people are just not compatible with certain places.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 5:03 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by lollyno1


an interesting post JAJ. reading above I would honestly have lablelled myself as 'migration material'

1. independent, self reliant, outgoing yes definately
2. Determination, got bags of it...some would say im blinkered at times
3. Not really close to family (apart from my two boys) got lots of good friends whom I miss lots.

that only leaves what I didnt like in the Uk. I spent nearly three years getting my visa and can now truthfully say that as that time passed I began to gradually hate more and more my life here.

But now Im back! Im not exactly loving it (me and teenage son living in two bed flat with mum, no guarantee of permanent work) If you were to ask me if Im settled then no, if Id go back, then I would have to say I dont know (however time is running out on that option)

As I have read on these forums before, I feel as if im in limbo land at the moment. Dont fit in anywhere!

sorry if this is confusing, thats the state of my mind at the moment.

Hi honey,

How are you? Been thinking about you lately and hoping you're OK
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 5:46 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Wendy
Hi honey,

How are you? Been thinking about you lately and hoping you're OK
hi wendy

We're ok. Although I sometimes think my mum wishes me back in oz as does my teenage son (nagging him lots)

Ive got shortterm work till the summer then who knows, ive still not got a place to live. Hardly any rentals around here apart from apartments at £600 a month. So im still lodging with mum which is testing at times.

I am applying for jobs whereever they come up. so wouldnt say I was settled here either.

Hope your settled into your new house.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 6:42 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by kez81
I agree with that, my sis in law was watching one of those new life down under programmes she was saying oh kerry it looks so wonderful etc... i had to point out that these programmes only show the good points!!!

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HI

Same thing. parents have been visiting for two weeks in Dubai, I was telling them all the negative things about OZ and all the times weve been ripped off, the arrogance, the expense, etc. she was saying that everyone in she knows in the UK thinks its a fabulous life, and why would I want to leave. Honestly they have no idea, there should be an alternate seminar about the pit falls, expensive flights, dropping off the UK housing market and never being able to get back on. To me there is only two kinds of people make it in OZ if you were really badly off in UK, like the 10 pound pom thing and got off your housing estate for a better life, or your really well off and can afford everything OZ has to offer, its the people in between those two that suffer and I would say the they are the majority.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 7:08 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Originally Posted by Mrs Best
Can't agree with this bit, if you go back home - you have at least suceeded in knowing where you want to live - how do you know before you try?

I would have labelled myself as "migrant material" - but I've been as depressed and homesick as hell - even though this is the 5th country I've lived in!!

One doesn't know what it's like living here unless one tries it - and if one doesn't like it and returns - then surely that can't be called "failure".
It's true Mrs Best - I can't understand why anyone would actually see it as failure. It can only ever be a failure if you don't learn from it.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 7:17 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

After going from Japan to Perth, would you have been better off going to somewhere a bit more bustling, like Melbourne or Sydney. I liked Perth, and thought about living there at one stage but I had at the back of my mind I would be bored there after awhile. It was also too isolated for me.


Originally Posted by Exile
Interesting, as I'd also lived abroad without a hint of homesickness for many years before I came straight to Australia. That's when the problems started.

Suggests to me that it is not always about stepping out of your comfort zone. I think some people are just not compatible with certain places.
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Old Apr 23rd 2007, 7:25 am
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Default Re: How many actually return?

Possibly, but I'm not sure if a bit of extra bustle in Sydney or Melbourne would really make that much difference to me. I now think it runs deeper than that.

Originally Posted by Mercedes
After going from Japan to Perth, would you have been better off going to somewhere a bit more bustling, like Melbourne or Sydney. I liked Perth, and thought about living there at one stage but I had at the back of my mind I would be bored there after awhile. It was also too isolated for me.
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