Elvira

If such a programme were to make only some of those who emigrate on the basis of what they see on TV and read in the papers think again, instead of getting themselves completely wrapped up in a '"the UK is shite - Oz is fantastic" frenzy, it would be worthwhile.

Geordie George

Ah, be fair Mrs - some of us move here with some brains. We don't all think it's gonna be the Costas with more sun.

People cannot blame the media ad infinitum. They have their own opinions and their own minds to make up. Sometimes, it's nobody else's fault but their own.

<Ducks for cover>

ladyofthelake

I'm not saying they shouldn't bother showing the negatives, it would certainly be more balanced if they did. I just think people only see what they want to see, so a lot of the negatives can be easily blotted out or ignored.

Elvira

That's not what I was saying, Nicola. I just get the impression that *some* people who emigrate (not just to Oz) have rather unrealistic expectations based largely on what they have gleaned from the media. So I feel that said media should give a more balanced picture instead of just focusing on the 'sun/beach/barbie lifestyle et cetera' aspects.

Geordie George

I guess I find it difficult to relate to believing the media. If I did that, I'd never consider moving back to Blighty - after all, it rains constantly, the population is depressed and the bloody immigrants are taking all 'our' jobs (whoever 'we' are). People should learn to think for themselves, rather than expecting the media (or anyone else) to make up their minds and make their decisions for them.

LouiseD

This is true - many people do think things through and see that there may be negatives. But I'd like to bet that for every one like you there are 10 others who watch these programmes on TV, see how lovely it all is and assume that it's a total paradise (yeah I know - idiots). I should know cos unfortunately I was one of them I was also one of those who believed what was printed in the papers too

I know it sounds ridiculous and I'm totally embarrassed about it now but I honestly believed 100% that we could not lose out by moving to Australia. I just saw all the good things and how wonderful our life would be. I watched the programmes, saw the lovely beaches and big houses with their pools and didn't even consider that it wouldn't be anywhere near as good as the life we already had. I didn't consider that we would lose our life savings, our house, everything.

I don't feel sorry for myself, and I don't blame anyone apart from ourselves for being so naive, but I've spent the morning sorting through boxes that have just been shipped back. I opened photos of our holidays from before we went to Oz and I just sobbed. It will take us years to work back to what we had before we left. If only I had seen that Oz doesn't work for everyone, I just may not have risked everything we had. There is that possibility that I might have made a different decision - who knows?

Since we returned I've spoken to so many people here who truly believe that Oz is a better place, better lifestyle, easier work, better paid jobs etc. etc. And not one of them has ever visited the place. It's surprising just what power that box in the corner of the room has.

optom3

Hi I think that is one of the wisest things I have read on any forum.I have lived in U.S for 18 months now and still like it.My brother lives in Japan but has also lived in India (married to an I ndian lady) and U.S and he has always said that the biggest shock was the U.S simply because he was not expecting it.
He does not particularly like the Japanese culture but as he was fully aware that it would be totally different to his ,he has found it more bearable.The reason is the shock element is not so great.He loves the Indian family culture and again was not so shocked because the media bombards us with all the negatives and poverty associated with that country.
He was totally unprepared for the culture shock of U.S and as such settled far less easily there than than in either Japan or India.He was totally unprepared to feel like an alien in the U.S he reasoned same language ,appearance etc,but as he discovered ,it is actually worse.
If you look different then you are prepared for the fact that you will probably be singled out and treated differently and are therefore mentally ready for it.The differences are instant and so is the judjement(right or wrong)If you look the same untill you open your mouth then judjement takes longer and is more difficult to cope with.
It was my brothers experiences which prepared me for life in the U.S and as such I think maybe I have found it a little easier.Once again,very wise post,people should be aware of it before considering any move abroad.
One final point,I do believe upbringing plays some part as well.My parents brought up both myself and brother to be very independant and we were surrounded from a very early age by numerous different cultures.
We have both flown the nest and that is not to say that we are not a close family,but my parents believed it to be a big world ,so go out and experience it.They believed their job was to provide the best ,broadest education possible,then let go.They are there when needed but very quietly in the background and no less loved for that.I hope to do that with my children.

Elvira

I often have the same experience when talking to people about California. People think its close to Paradise. "Why would you want to come back here then?"

LouiseD

And even when you try to explain, they look at you like you've got two heads

ezzkazz

Interesting question.... for those who emigrated to another country only to return, did you actually visit first or just go at the point of emigrating? And those who did go visit first, is this the area you then emigrated to?

bramblebush

I did visit first and yes that was the area we went to.

In my case I don't think it would have mattered where I went I just needed to go to realise that England is where I want to be.
I dreamt of living abroad for years, preferably Spain but just abroad really.

Now I have lived that dream and I have got it out of my system, it's time to go home.

LouiseD

I visited Melbourne before we emigrated but it was as the house was going through. I had really strong doubts about the place but hubby convinced me it would be ok. I also felt we were too far down the track to back out so off we went.

As soon as we landed again for our permanent move, I wanted to fly straight home again but ended up staying 12 months - my mind didn't change at all.

ezzkazz

do you not think that sometimes when your mind is saying 'this is not feeling right' that perhaps you shouldve spoken out or looking back on it were you trying to convince yourself it would be ok and that perhaps because it would just need some getting used to. That must be a really awful feeling to have just given it all up to live somewhere else and then the shock of knowing it was wrong.
People make lots of mistakes in life and some of them big ones, even ones you will never be able to change and regret. To the people who are heading back home, it was not a big mistake you cannot change, just an expensive lesson you have learnt.

I say better to have learnt a lesson then to have made a big mistake.

fishfinger

Yes that is true. If you have your heart set on a place you will just ignore all the negatives. I know I did that!

BAY

Heard the same the same stat, 40%, for those who move to Spain or France.
So I don't think its the country but its being homesick and missing family and friends that cause people to return.