LouiseD

But you are speaking only of yourself and your experiences. Personally I would have welcomed another view - a more realistic one rather than the paradise only versions. At least then we could have made a more informed judgement as to whether or not our life would or could improve. Your life was of a poor standard but not everyone's is. Our lives were good. We just thought that they would be better in Oz. Read peoples reasons for emigrating - nine out of 10 times people say that they want a better life for them or their kids. But half the time people actually don't even know what would make their lives better, what it is that they want. Many people just see others living in a big house with big pool in nice quiet neighbourhood near the beach and assume that this equals better life.

Unfortunatley for many people it isn't always win win as you put it. For many people who emigrating doesn't work out for they return home broke having lost their houses, savings, everything. Yes it's an experience but it's a bloody expensive, heartbreaking, stressful one. Right now I'd think I'd rather be wondering what if rather than losing my house. If I had heard of people losing everything, having their families torn apart etc. I honestly don't think I would have risked it at all. Unfortunately for me, I only ever saw happy, successful families having fun in the sun.

People should be shown both sides. Success and failures. Good and bad. Only then can people decide what is best for them.

Genesis

At the end of the day if you can be put off by another strangers experience of moving to the other side of the world how much did you really want to do it? I don't understand about 'losing a house', you sell it to make the move. Its the choice that we make (or not ) when we do this thing..and my experience is not one of 'paradise'..you make it sound like what we did was easy, whilst my life is better here than in the UK it is not paradise and I did not qoute 'paradise'. I ask myself if life is good to you in your home country why move? If it is because you can and you wish to then you have to take with that all the fiscal risks therein. We left because we felt we had little choice. there was little if anything for us left in the UK. To be blunt at the end of the day no one holds a gun to anyones head about moving to another part of the world.

As I said I have lost shit loads of money in my 48 years..mainly because of bad decisions...MY bad decisions...no one made me make them..other than myself.

Elvira

For those of us with children, it is not just a question of how much WE want it. We may think that becoming immigrants in a country on the other side of the earth is in their best interest, and that they will 'come around'.

But there is no guarantee. And if kids don't settle, there is the very real prospect of families ending up torn apart.

I would urge anyone considering emigrating with school-age children - particularly teenagers - to think very, very carefully about the possible implications.

Basically, unless they too want to emigrate, don't do it.

LouiseD

But to make an informed decision as to what is right for you, you need all the facts, not just one version of them. So many people emigrate based on seeing these happy successful families enjoying their wonderful life. Now all of us who have emigrated know that it isn't easy. It's bloody difficult, both emotionally and financially. My point is this. Why only show one side of things. It isn't a case of being put off by a strangers experience at all. Its about seeing both sides. Good and bad. If everyone sees only the good parts everyone is going to get one picture only. Forewarned is forearmed. So many people hear tales of how they are going to be so much better off, have so much better quality of life etc. People watch the likes of GMTV a few weeks ago, showing images of miserable grey skies with rain and gloom, then they cut to a beautiful blue sky, blue sea and lovely empty beach and ask "How would you like to swap the cold grey days of the UK for this" and then carry on to show happy smiley families with huge houses, swimming pools all having fun in the sun. Only after complaints about it did they give a tiny indication that those big houses which they had told viewers cost peanuts were actually hours away from civilisation!

And just so that you do understand about losing a house. It isn't a case of just selling it to move. Many people sell up and use their equity to set up in their new country. When they arrive in said new country they don't find work immediately and then when they do find work its much lower paid than previously thought, they find that they have to use their savings to pay the bills, the rent etc. This is completely different to what has been shown on TV and so different to what people have been told at seminars. They assumed that their job was in demand.

When the funds are going downhill fast, they then realise that they need to make a decision. Go totally bust in new country or get home pronto to earn a decent wage again. Going home with furniture, pets and family costs money. So because they are on crap wages and can't afford to pay the rent let alone shipping fees and flights, guess where that money comes from? The equity. So they arrive home after their little adventure with no money and no house.

Now do not misunderstand me. No one forced me to go. No one forced me to sell up, risk everything and look for a "better" life. I am the first to admit that I was stupid. It was our decision. I had a nice life here and I damn well wished I'd been wise enough to see what I had. But I wasn't. I saw the programmes on TV and I liked what I saw so I was sucked in. All I'm saying is that if programme makers showed both sides, it may, just may, make a few more people think a bit more carefully about what they are doing and the risks they are taking. I stupidly thought that we couldn't lose. I just thought that if we didn't like it we would return to the UK, pick up where we left off and carry on as normal

Foolish? Yes. On my own? Unfortunately not. All I would like to see is a bit of reality rather than these rosy versions so that others don't go through what we have. I just really hate the thought that so many other people will lose out so much because of this one sided image we have here :curse:

Glad for you that you've made the right choice though

thunderbird65

good truthful honest post

kevinl

I ran an engineering company in the UK, I always prided myself on the fact that I built it up on simple rules, if the figures don't add up then don't do it. We had the opportunity to come to Oz but the figures didn't add up. I followed the "if you don't do it you will never know" rather then "if it doesn't add up don't do it". I reckon it has cost us £80k to realise that if the figures don't add up then don't do it.
Kevin

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

Quote:
2. they realise they will never have the same relationship with the family and friends they left behind and are ready to accept this.


That is so true, and I think it applies to every rational thought you have about your chosen destination, whatever your motivations for going in the first place were.

What you think you know, or what you think you will be able to handle opposed to what actually turns out to be the case are more often than not very, very different things.

m100

[QUOTE=LouiseD;4677229]But to make an informed decision as to what is right for you, you need all the facts, not just one version of them. So many people emigrate based on seeing these happy successful families enjoying their wonderful life. Now all of us who have emigrated know that it isn't easy. It's bloody difficult, both emotionally and financially. My point is this. Why only show one side of things. It isn't a case of being put off by a strangers experience at all. Its about seeing both sides. Good and bad. If everyone sees only the good parts everyone is going to get one picture only. Forewarned is forearmed. So many people hear tales of how they are going to be so much better off, have so much better quality of life etc. People watch the likes of GMTV a few weeks ago, showing images of miserable grey skies with rain and gloom, then they cut to a beautiful blue sky, blue sea and lovely empty beach and ask "How would you like to swap the cold grey days of the UK for this" and then carry on to show happy smiley families with huge houses, swimming pools all having fun in the sun. Only after complaints about it did they give a tiny indication that those big houses which they had told viewers cost peanuts were actually hours away from civilisation!

And just so that you do understand about losing a house. It isn't a case of just selling it to move. Many people sell up and use their equity to set up in their new country. When they arrive in said new country they don't find work immediately and then when they do find work its much lower paid than previously thought, they find that they have to use their savings to pay the bills, the rent etc. This is completely different to what has been shown on TV and so different to what people have been told at seminars. They assumed that their job was in demand.

When the funds are going downhill fast, they then realise that they need to make a decision. Go totally bust in new country or get home pronto to earn a decent wage again. Going home with furniture, pets and family costs money. So because they are on crap wages and can't afford to pay the rent let alone shipping fees and flights, guess where that money comes from? The equity. So they arrive home after their little adventure with no money and no house.

Now do not misunderstand me. No one forced me to go. No one forced me to sell up, risk everything and look for a "better" life. I am the first to admit that I was stupid. It was our decision. I had a nice life here and I damn well wished I'd been wise enough to see what I had. But I wasn't. I saw the programmes on TV and I liked what I saw so I was sucked in. All I'm saying is that if programme makers showed both sides, it may, just may, make a few more people think a bit more carefully about what they are doing and the risks they are taking. I stupidly thought that we couldn't lose. I just thought that if we didn't like it we would return to the UK, pick up where we left off and carry on as normal

Foolish? Yes. On my own? Unfortunately not. All I would like to see is a bit of reality rather than these rosy versions so that others don't go through what we have. I just really hate the thought that so many other people will lose out so much because of this one sided image we have here :curse:

Hi Louise

As always excellent post, totally agree with you

kevinl

[QUOTE=m100;4677513] I remember a family that posted about the time we came out that they had done the sums and it didn't add up and they didn't make the move, would love to know how the squared the triangle.
Kev

Hutch

You're right. I downloaded five episodes of 'Wanted: Down Under' and I simply couldn't believe what I was watching. It was like some sort of bizarre propaganda. I was saying in another thread, that the first episode I watched was about a family from Oxfordshire. So they invite 'em up to Australia house (met outside by a bloke in a koala suit, men at work playing in the background - I was only surprised Dame Edna didn't serenade them ) and ask 'em to pick Coast, City or Country - for their humungous week-long exploration of Australian life.

So anyway - they pick and the first thing the show's producers do is show them some houses - these people have about 225k equity to play with and yet two of the three houses they show them are massively over what they could afford - in fact one of them was 1.3million!! What's the point of that? Here's some lovely houses you'll never be able to afford in the area you're looking to live. So anyway - the next day is their chance to taste some Australian 'lifestyle'. Hmmm, I think to myself, wonder what they'll show? Playing the pokies down the bowlo? Barbie at the beach? Watching some AFL? No. They send 'em up in a seaplane over Sydney harbour!!! How in the name of all that's holy, is that Australian lifestyle? It was just ludicrous - perfectly summed up by the dog-eared double-sided flag card they made 'em twizzle around - "So the Smiths decide that Australian lifestyle is the one for them".

pommybird

Excellent post Louise - well said and absolutely spot on that not everyone can just come back and carry on where they left off.

kentishmaid

Sorry it's so long But....

I moved to Perth with my family when I was 18, I am now 55. I really hated it, for years I hated it and didn't want to have my child in Australia. It was boring, had no history and looked like it would all fall over in a strong wind. But I did have my child in Australia and a strange thing happened, I fell in love. With my child, and with that amazing, beautiful country. Sorry folks but it took me 9 years and I am telling you that nothing is harder than emigrating. Recently I thanked my father, now 87, for having the courage, to take his family to the other side of the world at a time when you had to book phone calls home at Christmas! He said to me that he promised himself he would not return to England for 25 years, so he could be sure he gave this new country a real go. That's what we are talking about, not two year turn arounds, but life time commitments. I am presently in England, working and living (for a variety of reasons) on a sort of gap year, and I feel just as odd, just as alienated, just as lost and just as dislocated as I did moving to Australia all those years ago. We left England mainly because of my parents health issues, and we are quite confident that if we had remained, they would not be alive today. But we gained much, much more than my folks longevity. The fact that the world is smaller now, it's so much easier to come and go, makes it harder to settle in a new place. If you're not happy this week, well pack up and leave! but what if you didn't? what's a year? what's 2 years? and, in my experience, what's 9 years? When I look at the amazing life my son and is cousins have, the life and choices that I have, I am humbled and grateful that we call ourselves Australians. After 7 months in England, I feel I really can make comparisons as to what my life would be like here. Nothing is worse than being homesick, it's the worst thing in the world. Nothing is worse than not settling, going backwards and forwards keeps you poor and ensures your children the worst education! I guess you just have to hold in mind all the reasons you emmigrated in the first place.

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

We have old friends in Australia, went out over 35 years ago on the ten pound boat trip. A number of the husbands family also went. We see them every couple of years, often seem to be coming back for funerals these days.

To this day, Bren says they would come back if they could. And that they knew that from very early on. They have kids and grandkids with lives there now etc etc, they arent unhappy and dont want to leave them, couldnt afford to go back to the UK I dont think anyway.

At any stage of the journey, it's horses for courses.

pommybird

Nice post - glad it worked out for you in the end - though I don't think I could have spent 9 years in Perth while waiting for it to all come good, but we're all different and it's always good to hear an alternative view and a success story.

kentishmaid

I was 18, it was 1970, all my family were in Perth. I did the usual, off to the east coast (had a ball over there) my English boyfirend came over. I wasn't sitting around crying, I just thought Perth, with it's awful pubs and 2 nightclubs, was rubbish. We made friends, got married, bought a house. That's the way it was then for me.