Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Nice win for Newcastle last night against West Brom. 15th in the league for a few hours more courtesy of a 2-1 win.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

This is a brilliant spoof of that pr*ck Danny Dyer's "Football Factories"

"One of the top 5 teams in Yorkshire.... Sunderland."

"Sunderland... famous for Newcastle, Alan Shearer, Jimmy Nail and Bergerac."

He's got Dyer's "tough-guy" mannerisms perfectly, and the walk is just hilarious!

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I'm at a considerable disadvantage here since I've no idea who or what Danny Dyer is. I actually care so little that for once google will be a friend spurned.

Since this thread apparently refuses to die, let me take the opportunity to point out the the natural order of the universe has been re-established after last night's result. The Toon are up above the mackems again, where they belong.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Good decision, I wouldn't recommend wasting a moment of your life trying to find out about this fourth-rate gangster wannabe.

But if you have already had the enormous misfortune to catch his Real Football Factories TV programme about football hooligans, this is is a great parody.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

You could always ask the mods to close this thread Novo.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Oh, I see. Is that what is was about. I wasn't familiar with the term "factory" in that context. Here in Germany they're called "Ultras"; in Mainz where I am at the moment, their home pub is called Sixties and I go there a lot. The main ringleader is a hulking truck driver originally from Dresden, called Dirk. He and I often drink beer together, but I wouldn't go near a football stadium with him.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Oh, no. Freedom of speech and all that.

Now that the Toon are up at the dizzying heights of 14th place, I think I can now take the brown paper bag off my head anyways.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

That is so funny, quality.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Self quoting is beyond reprehensibility of course, but the brown paper bag is firmly back in place.

Football smells of wee.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Have not heard the score.Bad?

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

2-1 to Fulham. Nonsense penalty for the second goal. Owen comes on as sub at about 75 minutes and humiliates himself (with the England manager watching from the stands) with a volley attempt on goal which actually went backwards for a clearance.

The first Fulham goal was also ludicrous. Capaca tries a headed clearance which ricochets off the other Toon centre back to the feet of Fulham's Murphy.

Couldn't make it up.

Who the hell would pay 300M for this bunch?

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...-premierleague

Uh-oh. Move over Leeds, we're heading your way.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Hilarious spoof of the 'ard man' Danny Dyer. His episode in Turkey convinced me never to go to a game in Istanbul. You are right, the walk is hilarious.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

WOW did I read that right Chelsea 0 Newcastle 0 at Stamford bridge. :sneaky::ohmy::thumbup:

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Yup. Good result for the Toon that.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Not for us, though.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

An away win for the "Toon". :thumbup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

http://soccernet-akamai.espn.go.com/...=ENG.1&cc=5901

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

There are, apparently, one or two teams who even worse than the Toon.

I only hope it turns out that there's three of them at the end.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

The predictor says "Stoke, Middlesbrough and West Brom for the drop". 38 points is the threshold for staying up this year.

If the predictor's output is correct, it will be quite an astonishing outcome, considering Aston Villa will be runners up (to Man Utd, of course) and four of the teams will only play 37 games this season.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/foot...or/default.stm

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

That thingymedictor looks far too time consuming to bother.

Where will the Toon be at the end?

<If anybody and yes, I do mean you, says "about 15 miles from Sunderland", my retort will be, "Due North, of course.">

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

About 15 points south of Sunderland.

But seriously, far too time consuming and bug-ridden to bother. My reward for the 10 minutes of life and effort put into it was two missing games (albeit which wouldn't really affect any of the important positions) but no blank boxes. I think toon were on 40 points.

They will survive to face the mackems again (likely the most interesting games in both club's 2009-2010 seasons...)

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Here's the first April fool..

Shearer to become Newcastle boss

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Unfortunately, I don't believe this is an April Fools joke. Mr Personality, the pundit with the amazingly insightful analysis, etc, will be the Newcastle manager.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I wonder if Mr. Shearer will make it the Geordie Dream Team and appoint Gazza as his No. 2?

Stranger things happen all the time at SJP!

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

To laugh or to cry?

It appears that Big Al will bring Iain Dowie along as #2 and that Dehnis Cnut Wise is chopped. Which can't be all bad.


<Can it?>


Edit: Or it could just be April Fool's Day.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I am not a Newcastle fan. I do think however that they rise to the challenge when they have a local hero. I do believe stranger things have happened than Alan Shearer keeping them out of relegation this season.
Good Luck to them anyway

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

well, its long gone noon in the UK, and they are still saying Alan Shearer is going to be the manager....


I can see it might raise their game just enough to avoid the drop on the back of an invigorated home crowd, but long term I don't know.

It seems comparable to Liverpool deciding that Robbie Fowler should have a go at the top job... and I cant imagine that ending well:unsure: Look what happens when you can pursued a top youngish manager with a track record of success to come, and then give them time to effect change...something Newcastle don't ever seem to do...

Its a big gamble, but when you are near bottom and sinking without trace sometimes its worth throwing the dice.


Should be toon heaven this? Shearer and Keegan as manager in the same season?

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Well its just been on the local news at 6pm that its not an April Fool its for real that Shearer is going to take over as Manager for the next 8 games of the season!:beer:

Howay the lads!!:thumbsup:

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Well, as someone already said, if the crowd gets behind the team and Big Al can frighten the bastards on the pitch into giving it 100%, you never know what might happen.

But I know what I expect to happen.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Micky Quinn, on Big Al's appointment...

"He was destined to be Newcastle manager at some point. What a tonic for Michael Owen as well. They were team-mates at England and got on fairly well.

"Michael Owen might get an extra yard and score the goals to keep Newcastle up."

An extra yard of pace, or what he really needs, of height?

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Hi Novo

I must admit I dont really follow football but I do think this could be what Newcastle needs and I think he will be respected.....so watch this space;)

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I fail to see how Shearer can improve things, and will the fans have the same loyalty towards him if they're relegated.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

maybe the threat of a pay cut might be the only thing to stop them being relegated:sneaky: the players might up their game a bit

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

He can put the fear of god's wrath into their souls. Or just threaten them by conventional means. Creosote baths.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I'm guessing training will be on winning free-kicks just outside the box.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I think those days might have gone.

The PC brigades would have a field day. ;)

Or are soccer (football) players exempt? :confused::sneaky::rofl:

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

In the Toon right now, PC means Pulverize Chelsea. Anything less and the Wrath of Big Al will be visited upon the cretinous players under his gentle care.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

I was bored with that avatar pic anyway.

He's baaaaack!!!!!!!!

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Well, Denis Wise has slung his hook, so Shearers appointment has had at least one immediate positive effect.

I think the Premiership would definitely be a weaker place without the likes of Newcastle in it, so good luck, I hope there is a happy ending. Then again, it seems to be getting by just fine without the likes of Leeds and Forest, stalwarts of the past.

Re: The Toon Army / EPL thread
 

Yeah, funny how the times have changed perceptions there. Forest I remember for quality and flair, Leeds for thuggery. Right now I have no idea where those teams are or how they're doing.

So I'm looking at the Championship table, Forest are in the relegation zone (seems sad in a way) but I don't see Leeds anywhere in that division. I don't really even care where they are... Maybe we're better off without them in the Premiership (and the likes of Southampton, Coventry etc) just hanging around mid-table, year after year not really winning anything or doing anything very interesting.

At least with this "modern format" (i.e. lots of money via the TV companies) we seem to get 2-3 new teams into the premiership each year, give them some extra potential and the fans some hope.This seems to be opening up opportunities a bit more (and closing down the hangers-on).