A side lesson for all teens and adults included here also....the worst mistake you could ever make online is post / share due to request, an inappropriate pic of yourself with anyone just because they are telling you what you want to hear (pretty, cute, lovely, love you) and all that malarkey.

Boys don't keep that for their eyes only, and it's only a matter of time before it gets out and does the rounds. There are a lot of gullible teens and adults out there who feel the need to splash their pics during face time or with a phone pointing at a mirror.

There is also the future to worry about...depending on what you plan to become later on, your past might come back to hunt you. I have heard some teens say "look at Paris and Kim Kardashian", they are making money from it and they are famous

But the post you were referring to was .

But mine wasn't. I can keep this up all day.

Well then don't bother with the quote next time
Have fun in here _ toodle pip old chap

Thank you for the posting lesson. And I only come here to have fun

Unfortunately the cruel reality of the tragic death of Amanda Todd is that its the adults/parents that truly understand how grievous this all is, to the kids its just another teenage suicide, they'll tell you its been done before and that she copied somebody else. They have no concept of the gravitas of this, they've been brought up in a cyber world where most of their life is spent online, trying to conform but stand out as an individual.

But having gone to hell and back with our beautiful daughter this year that stemmed from the bullying at school and vicious rumours online, after hours/days of counselling at hospitals and hearing top experts advice this is what I do know.

1.) no kid volunteers the information that they are being bullied so this whole thing of getting your child to talk to you about any issues is a load of bollocks. Take it from me you will be the last person to find out, and how you find out!

2. Anybody can be bullied, you can be a loud mouth, confident, quiet, black/white/asian/pink/tall/big nose anything so implying its always the quiet ones is ridiculous. Often with girls it can be a situation where the girls were at one point the best of friends and then something goes wrong (jealously over boys! or attention hogging). With boys it can be the testosterone flying around, sniffing out what they perceive to be the weak ones.

3. No, its not a great idea to use twitter, facebook, tumblr etc., to vent your feelings and your depression, your self harm, your thoughts etc., but guess what its what they do, so get used to it. Yes, you can tell them to your blue in the face its not a good idea and it'll be out there forever but anyone with access to the internet is going to find it easier to put this down where they won't be judged by adults. This is the reality.

You are never, ever going to stop bullying or bullies. It is a fact of life. But what I would like to be seen to be done, is the schools do not treat bullying as serious as they should do. They do like to shirk off any responsibility, they'll do a "talk to" the parents and the kids who are bullying but in my experience this was only after banging on the desk and demanding something be done before I took the situation into my own hands and would go to the press. I got the school police involved however, yet again, even with evidence they didn't prosecute. I did get it stopped though. But the damage was done.

My biggest anger was that everyone knew what my daughter was going through and nobody (except her family) stood up for her. Nobody reported it, tackled it, stepped in, nothing. If my child had declined any further she wouldn't be with us now and my gripe would be with the ones that kept quiet. People have to stand up and stop creating facebook pages after the fact saying how sad they are (load of crap) weeping at teenager funerals, where the f**k were you when they needed someone??? Everyone has blood on their hands if they know something is going on and nobody is saying or standing up for them.

So what we should be teaching our children is stand up for others that have lost their voice. Bullying will always be there. A child will easily tell you about a third party being bullied, but never themselves. If I heard/or knew because of my child that someone was being bullied I would get involved and I have got involved.

This problem is everyone's problem. People can't say its nothing to do with them, as everyone has a responsibility to speak up and do the right thing.

Re: boxing. That or any other martial art isn't just a benefit because of protection, the self confidence that comes with mastering a sport requiring that degree of disipline might help a child cope with/resist being bullied. I've even seen it in a pre-schooler; a boy who was hemophiliac and very protected at home was enrolled in day-care and began having problems immediately. He wasn't being bullied, even though he was one of the smallest he was beating up on the other kids because he was insecure! At one point a worker saw him pick up a hammer and get ready to brain another kid with his back turned. Nice catch, no hit. The mom enrolled lil wozname in tai-kwon-do and he was a changed boy, best kid ever. Happy, considerate, outgoing, etc. The system killed him with a crap blood transfusion a year or two down the road and that was a real waste.
Mardyarse' post above is right on - it takes everyone to stand up for something like this.

Bingo.

I think elrichio was being cyber bullied and that's why he shut his BE account down, the poor mite.

I hope they post the picture of the bully publicly and broadly to make them well identified, and likely even more disliked for causing an innocent child's death, and reminded of that fact so they hopefully will never do that to anyone else again.

Internet is not a good thing, especially for children, I think restricting their use on it is key, and only for learning purposes, child safety restrictions etc.

The group anonymous claim they have the person. Perhaps it's time to start making people known in situations like these, instead of protecting their identity for safety reasons?

You are right there, but most parents aren't tech savvy or understand the inner working of the web. kids in their rooms with computer is a bad idea. You want them in the common area where you can see what they are doing.

Parents (especially the mums) are quick to buy mobile phones and laptops for their kids (especially daughters) as xmas gifts. Some teens have no sense of bills payment and think data package and everything else is free, as long as they are connected. You want your kids to be self-reliant? Teach them the value of money from a younger age and get them doing chores more for kips

Access to certain sites can be blocked via the router on your home network, and you can choose not to broadcast your SSID. They can't log on to something they can't see. Additionally you can password protect your wi-fi with a complicated name in some foreign language (as opposed to the name of your dog or kids)

If they ask why they can't connect or if something is wrong with the router, you just play dump. Extreme case, take apart the laptop and disconnect the wi-fi card.

Ultrarunner, you clearly don't have teeangers, you have an awful lot to learn. Whilst your suggestions are appropriate (for the age group that can be controlled) just understand that they are always two steps ahead of you.

You have to let your kids learn by their own mistakes whilst shadowing them and trying to keep yourself as informed as possible. But especially with young girls if you try to control them this is the number one reason for self harming. I hope you have the personality that is capable of not judging but listening and not taking over but guiding.

Kids will always find a way of accessing the internet (even school has wireless) so whatever you do at home they will be able to access at school.

Oh and just one more thing Ultrarunner, I seem to remember you posting a while back about young teenage girls wearing next to nothing and being judged about their morals. You see I've been waiting for an appropriate time and place to pick you up on your judgements on that subject. You see those comments will never go away and they are there for good for all to see. Your children will hear your judgements and could potentially become bullies or they could be on the other end of bullies for dressing a certain way (no you can't control what they wear either!). So I would be very careful about not coming across as a hypocrite if I were you.

that's it. I'm homeschooling spawn.

wise.
Are you sure it's mostly mothers? where's the evidence of that out of interest? I am willing to bet some Dads are just as bad. I doubt it's gender specific is all I am saying, more to do with the person than the sex.

Believe me in my situation I have already decided my little man as he grows older will not be getting most of those gadgets, there is a good library over the road with child safety features in place and restrictions on them already, and as to a phone, for emergency only with no other credit on it is what I would intend to do, unless it's credit to ring me only obviously but it wouldn't be much on there in any case, I will think that through more when that time comes but restriction is key for sure.
I'm one of those strict parents not ones who let their children have anything and everything they want. Mine is already learning about responsibility at age 3, and how he does not just get what ever he wants, next he will learn about money and how it does not grow on trees, pocket money to save for something they like, a toy (not huge amounts) after a few house chores like helping clean up is a good start as they grow older, I can't stand 'spoiled brats' and I don't intend to raise one. I certainly wasn't raised as one either.

I totally agree on parents overseeing their children when on a computer too, rather than on it in private. Again, I'd have restrictions on mine that I'd let him use as he grows older (not his own computer in any case Once he is at the legal age of consent it's up to him but until then..

Wow! such animosity and so opinionated. Why continue an argument from an old thread (as you pointed out on your post too?) That's a bit silly isn't it. How about kissing and making up?

I happen to agree with him, and am not blind to teenagers being raised either, I was one myself and not all are alike on how they think or act either.. I didn't follow the crowd or care to for one thing, so how about not being so tunnel visioned about all that, because yes they do learn things for themselves, and sometimes they DO have to be guided too importantly by those parents who truly care about their children.

Not going to find a way to access the internet if they are stuck at home with their parents after school either are they, or better still doing sport until tired and ready for bed at bedtime.

WOW! why don't you just jump on everyone's post and criticise them? I can see that you must always be right and everyone else is wrong!

Do you have a teenager? No you have a 3 year old from what I have read so you have no right to tell someone else how to bring up theirs and how easy it is.

You really think a 16/17/18 year old is going to sit in with their parents all night and you really think you're going to make them?
Mardy has posted a story of how her child was being bullied, her own experiences and how she has dealt with it. No need to jump on her for that.
I have a teen girl who is now nearly 18 and believe me it is not as easy as you think to restrict their internet/phone access.
We went through hell a few years ago, not with bullying but other stuff and we banned the internet use in our house.
Kids will find anyway possible to get to a computer if they want to, crafty little f***ers!
They use their friends, the school, library, wherever they can and their friends will support them in doing this.
So in order to see exactly what she was doing, we allowed access again but used spyware so we could check her FB messages, MSN you name it we saw it.

From all your posts I have read so far you are being really judgemental when you have no idea how people feel and what they go through and I know you don't give a shit because you said so in a post earlier.

You need to get your head out your arse and wake up and smell the coffee. Stop being so naive.

(Rant over. Sorry about crap spellings and punctuation I am in a hurry)