Re: a joke
 

My wife has left me, because apparently I don't finish normal sentences the way they are supposed to be animal porn.

Re: a joke
 

I don't have a pink shirt to wear for anti-bullying day, but as you can see I've bought one of the pink bracelets. Well, I didn't actually buy it, I took it off a fat ginger kid...

Re: a joke
 

What about elephant jokes?

Re: a joke
 

What's the difference between a JCB and a giraffe?




What's the difference between the Kenny Everett Show and the House of Commons?

Re: a joke
 

An Irishman goes into a hardware store and asks for a potato clock.

"A what?!"

"A potato clock. I don't really know exactly what it is, but I start my new job at 9am tomorrow and my wife told me I'd need to get a potato clock."

Re: a joke
 

How do you keep an intelligent person confused for hours?

Re: a joke
 

Q: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?

A: About 3000 miles.

Re: a joke
 

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Irish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Da's a fisherman, his Da was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlKaZoom" the oceans were teaming with fish.

The English guy was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that nothing will get in for all eternity.

Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye "AlkaZoom - POOF" there was a huge wall around England.

The Scot asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

Re: a joke
 

:lol:


Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?

Re: a joke
 

why did the elephants have to get out of the swimming pool?

Re: a joke
 

A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, “Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?”

Re: a joke
 

The other night I was invited out with the girls. I told my husband I would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. At 3am I went home a bit loaded. Just as I walked in the door the cuckoo clock cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband might wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself with coming up with a solution to be late when totally smashed.

The next morning, my husband asked me what time I got in. I said midnight. He didn't seem mad at all, and I felt like I got away with it.

But then he said we need a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked him, “Why,” he said, “Well last night the clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, 'Oh shit,’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted'

Re: a joke
 

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?

Swim like hell.

Re: a joke
 

You'll want to get your co-workers, family or fellow commuters to gather around and watch this with you. Crank up the volume :thumbup:

Re: a joke
 

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Re: a joke
 

Apparently they really do...

Re: a joke
 

Tell me dad, how are you managing with the new I-Pad we gave you for your birthday?"

Click Here


(It's spoken in German but you'll get the gist of it )

Re: a joke
 

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore a list of 18 new and innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


1)
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2)
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting c__t.

3)
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do that?

4)
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing chance.

5)
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me!

6)
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a f__.

7)
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem.

8)
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9)
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10)
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that in.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?

11)
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12)
TRY SAYING: Excuse me sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13)
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my f___ a__.

14)
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm not doing overtime.

15)
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__ dumb f____

16)
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks c__k.

17)
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18 )
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,
HR
Human Remains

Re: a joke
 

MANAGEMENT 101

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story :

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?". The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure , why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he
was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Re: a joke
 

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather.

Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,


S. Berman

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off.

I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.

The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind.

This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily.

I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy,
Relief Maid
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Maid

I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.

I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in the way when shaving, brushing teeth etc.

Please remove them.

S. Berman

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service.

I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience.

If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.

Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6.00 PM. That's the reason I called Mr Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap.

The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf.

In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and to remove the extra soaps.

If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM.

Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Kensedder,

My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing.

Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Imperial Leather.

I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.

I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.

The situation will be rectified immediately.

Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room?

I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather.

Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here?
All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather.
Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather.

S. Berman

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed.

Then you complained to Mr Kensedder that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily.

I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.

I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Imperial Leather. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mrs Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.

As of today I possess:
* On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of the tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of the tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip.

May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather, which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

Re: a joke
 

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: Definitely not!

WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan).

WIFE: Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?

WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.


WIFE: - - silence - -

HUSBAND: F * ck....

Re: a joke
 

"I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died.'"


I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought 'he's trying to pull a fast one'.


Do you know what really makes my blood boil?
Crematoriums


Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years.
His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.
Apparently she stood him up.

Re: a joke
 

Valentines gift idea anyone ...

Re: a joke
 

I don't think this is a joke at all. I think it's a very real experience of someone suffering from others not paying attention.:rofl:

My recent experiences like this include emails which have made a clear reference to a n other not responding to emails, only for the reply to suggest I email a n other on the very same email address not getting any replies. :frown:

Re: a joke
 

I don't write 'em :)

It is actually written by the comedian Shelly Berman who published it in one of his books - 'A Hotel is a Place' in 1972.

Re: a joke
 

I called the local Humane Society and explained that I'd been walking along a country road and found a suitcase containing a mother fox and 4 young kits. The girl asked, "Were they moving?" I replied, "To be honest, I'm not sure, but that would explain the suitcase."

Re: a joke
 

Doesn't require sound!

http://www.flixxy.com/the-paperless-future-emma.htm

Re: a joke
 

Last night I reached for my bottle of liquid Viagra on the night-stand and accidentally swigged from a bottle of White-Out. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
.
I got sacked from the Salvation Army soup kitchen - all I said was, "C'mon, hurry up! Some of us have homes to go to, you know!
.
Saw a sign in a shop window, '42" Flatscreen TV, Volume stuck on full, $5.00'
I thought, "I can't turn that down...."

Re: a joke
 

Just to remind us all of the true meaning of Easter...



Jesus Christ is dying on the cross, his disciples are gathered around, crying. Peter looks up and notices that Jesus seems to be calling him, "Peter, come hither!" Immediately Peter rushes over to the cross, only to be hit severely over the head by the roman guard.

He gets on his feet again and wants to return to the other disciples when he hears Jesus calling again, "Peter, come hither!" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and chops Peter's arm off. But again Jesus summons.

The roman guard can't believe that Peter is trying yet again to climb to the cross, and chops off his other arm. Peter is now covered in blood and demented from the blow to the head and wants to call it a day. Jesus hoarsely croaks, "Peter, please, come to me!" By now, the roman guard is tired of chopping limbs, so he lets Peter be.

The faithful disciple struggles to climb to the cross (without arms mind you) and after a long while he finally arrives at his Lord's side. Hurting, suffering, bleeding, Peter looks into his Master's eyes and asks, "yes, my Lord. What is it?"

Jesus smiles lovingly and looks off into the distance as a weak smile plays across his face, "Look Peter, I can see your house from here!"

Re: a joke
 

A man boarded an aircraft at Heathrow Airport for New York and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight towards his seat and bingo-she took the seat right beside him.
``Hello`` he blurted out, ``Business trip or vacation ?``
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said ``Business, I`m going to the annual nymphomaniacs convention in the USA``
He swallowed hard, here was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs !!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked ``What`s your business role at this convention ?``
``Lecturer`` she responded, ``I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality``
``Really`` he smiled ``What myths are they ?``
``Well`` she explained ``One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it`s the Native American Indian who is most likely to posess that trait.
Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent.
We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish``
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed ``I`m sorry`` she said ``I really shouldn`t be discussing this with you, I don`t even know your name``
``Tonto`` the man said ``Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy``

Re: a joke
 

This morning, the wife told me "I want to slowly unzip you, then give you deep throat."

"Really!" I replied with a big grin.

Then she says "NO! Hahahaha! April Foogarhhhggghgghhjg...."

That'll teach her to try to be funny.

Re: a joke
 

Ooh appropriate joke for British expats... let me think...

What's the difference between Australia and yoghurt?

If you leave yoghurt alone for long enough it develops a culture.

Re: a joke
 

A man was sentenced to a term in penitentiary and the first time he was in the shower room a big bodybuilder type came up and said, "Ok fish, being new you're going to have to have sex with me, and there isn't a damned thing you can do about it. The only say you have is if you want it with spit, or without." The man thinks, 'Well, with spit it might at least be a little less painfull', so he says, "W-w-with." The convict yells across the room, "Hey Spit, get over here, the new guy wants a threesome!"

Re: a joke
 

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell

Re: a joke
 

After a major Microsurgery Congress, an American surgeon, a German surgeon and a British surgeon meet in the pub for a drink. Inevitably, they start to talk shop and boast about their achievements.

"A worker in an automobile factory got caught up in a press for sheet metal," says the American surgeon. "All that was left of him was a thumb, so we took it, constructed a new hand, a new arm, a torso, head, legs and so on. The resulting worker was so capable that he put 50 other guys out of a job."

"That's nothing," says the German surgeon. "Last month a young man had an accident in one of our nuclear power stations. All we could find was a single hair, so I took the hair and constructed a new head, a new brain and a complete body. The young man is now so efficient that he has put 200 other men out of a job."

"You think those are achievements?" says the British surgeon. "I was on the street a few years ago when I smelled a fart. Quick as a flash, I pulled out a plastic bag and caught it, then took it to my clinic. I used the matter to create a new anus, then I used my patented techniques to flesh it out until I was able to build a completely new body - with a head and a brain. This bloke is so amazingly efficient that he's put hundreds of thousands out of a job."

"Why haven't we heard of this?" says the American. "What's his name?

Re: a joke
 

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out of the front door and our cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put in the back yard again.

Because I didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother. A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away.

"Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn't scratch me like she did last time. But it worked ! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the backyard.... She had better not shit in the vegetable garden again."

The silence in the taxi was deafening......

Re: a joke
 

For aficionados, or not, of Downton Abbey

His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.
"May I ask you a question my Lord?"
"Go ahead Carson" said his Lordship.
"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on."
"What word is that?" said his Lordship.
"Aplomb" my Lord.
"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self assurance or complete composure."
"Thank you my Lord, but I'm still a little confused."
"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"
"I remember the occasion very well, my Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."
"Also", continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"
"I was present on that occasion, my Lord, ministering to their needs."
"While plucking the rose a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."
Carson replied, "I witnessed the incident my Lord and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."
"That evening the prick on his thumb was so sore, Kate had to cut up his venison from our own estate, even though it was extremely tender."
"Yes my Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."
"The next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate enquired of Will with a loud voice,'Darling does your prick still throb?'"
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee!

Now that is aplomb!”

Re: a joke
 

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed.
That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says,
"I dreamt I had the best wank last night."
The guy on the left side says,
"That's funny, I had the exact same dream!".
The guy in the middle says,

"I dreamt I was skiing."

Re: a joke
 

I just tried to give you karma for this but it says "you cannot give karma to this post"??????? Odd, I've never come across that before!!!

Anyhoo, funny as f*** :rofl:

Re: a joke
 

One of my principle goals in sending out and forwarding email is to occasionally bring to your attention certain materials that might be considered to be academic in nature. This to challenge your thought processes and perhaps gel some of those finer philosophical values that present themselves as dilemmas at some point in our lives. Mendel's Defecatory Principle is presented in that spirit. Enjoy and just sit back and think about it!!

This is a deceptively simple philosophy that an exceptionally gifted friend has been slaving over and refining for most of his life. I am delighted to report that he has fine-tuned the principle to its absolute quintessential essence. This he has completed to a degree that it may now be shared with a select band of friends that may appreciate its elegance and simplicity. This is Nobel Prize material. Especially when you take into consideration the criteria for winning the Peace Prize.