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a joke
What's a shih Tzu?
A zoo with no animals. |
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Re: a joke
I went to my doctor and told him I have broken my arm in two places.
He said don't go back to them two places. Bum tish |
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I was an ugly baby, when I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up.
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How many Apple owners does it take to change a light bulb?
Spoiler:
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How do you get two whales in a mini?
Accross the Severn Bridge. |
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What's brown and sticky?
Spoiler:
Two parrots sitting on a perch. One says to the other "Is it just me, or do you smell fish?" |
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Two nuns in a bath.
One says "Where's the soap?" The other replies "Yes, it does, doesn't it." |
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What kind of snack is old, but good for you?
A grannyola bar. |
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The bartender says, "We don't get many time travellers in here."
Two time travellers walk into a bar. |
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Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor. |
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What's the differenece between toast and Italians?
You can make soldiers out of toast What's a Hindu? Lays eggs What do you give a man who has everything? Antibiotics. Why did Michael Jackson go to Wall-Mart? He heard boys' pants were half off. |
Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10382685)
What's the differenece between toast and Italians?
You can make soldiers out of toast What's a Hindu? Lays eggs What do you give a man who has everything? Antibiotics. Why did Michael Jackson go to Wall-Mart? He heard boys' pants were half off. An incurable romantic. Why did the pervert cross the road? He was stuck in the chicken. |
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Two fish in a tank ,
one says to the other "So, how'd you drive this thing?" |
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One female terrorist shows her rucksack to another and says:
'Does my bomb look big in this.' |
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A woman goes into a bar.
Barman says "Why the long face?" ...an hour later he wished he hadn't asked. A woman goes into a bar. Barman says "Why the long face?" Spoiler:
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How do you get an emo kid out of a tree?
Cut the rope. |
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Knock knock.
Who's there? Doorbell repair man. |
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What's black and screams like a pig?
Spoiler:
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A lesbian walks into a Muslim barber shop and ask for a hair cut.
The Muslim barber says I can't do that ma'am I cannot touch strange women's hair. Lesbian sues barber for sex discrimination. (True) Love to be a fly on the wall in that court. :@) |
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Frappe! Frappe!
Qui est la? Lost. Lost qui? Yes. |
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[QUOTE=iaink;10382543]What's brown and sticky?
Spoiler:
What`s sticky and brown ? A sticky stick. What`s the difference between a buffalo and a bison ? You can`t wash your hands in a buffalo. |
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Who are the most decent people in a hospital?
The ultrasound people What’s short, green and goes camping? A boy sprout What do you do if a bird craps on your car? Don’t take her out again How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender. |
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The lastest football results:
Real Madrid - 1 : Surreal Madrid - Fish. |
Re: a joke
Anyone here the joke about the woman with oak breast implants?
Spoiler:
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Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Alan2005
(Post 10384686)
Anyone here the joke about the woman with oak breast implants?
Spoiler:
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Re: a joke
Oh, leaf it out :sneaky:
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 10384697)
That's acorny one and no mistake.
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Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Greenhill
(Post 10384754)
Oh, leaf it out :sneaky:
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Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Alan2005
(Post 10384686)
Anyone here the joke about the woman with oak breast implants?
Spoiler:
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 10384697)
That's acorny one and no mistake.
Originally Posted by Greenhill
(Post 10384754)
Oh, leaf it out :sneaky:
Originally Posted by Jingsamichty
(Post 10384799)
Oakay. Anything fir a quiet life.
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Re: a joke
So what did you expect when you logged on here? Our attitudes might not be treemendous but at least we're trying to branch out.
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10384818)
I wooden have expected this from you lot. You guys are conkers.
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Re: a joke
He's obviously only just twigged.
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He can't cedar jokes for alder puns.
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What a sap.
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Re: a joke
This ent got anything to do with you, maplease.
Originally Posted by Maplease
(Post 10384873)
He's obviously only just twigged.
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Re: a joke
Originally Posted by caretaker
(Post 10384894)
What a sap.
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I once bought a Glaswegian Christmas tree.
It was deeply rooted in pot but left needles everywhere :( |
Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10384905)
Hey, I'm knot going to take this. Ooh leaf me alone, you birch.
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Re: a joke
I was standing in a bar in town yesterday and this little Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.
I said to him, "Do you know any martial arts, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?" He says "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee"? "No", I say, "It's because you're drinking my beer you little prick". |
Re: a joke
Originally Posted by Greenhill
(Post 10384895)
This ent got anything to do with you, maplease.
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Re: a joke
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on. Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?†|
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