Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Canada
Reload this Page >

Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Old Jan 18th 2021, 3:32 am
  #1  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Hi folks,

We have made the decision to move back home from Calgary to the UK after 6 years. Was very much looking forward to it and to update on the ‘Moving back to uk’

However, our 18 year old daughter is point blank refusing to come back. We are beside ourselves with worry. We cannot leave her here. Wondered if anyone else has encountered this? So she is 18 and we can’t exactly force her on the plane. She is saying she will get a loan out of 4 k and get a job at Walmart!, she can’t see realistically that that salary will be enough to pay bills, car!? Rent!? Food,,phone etc etc. Wondered if anyone had any good advice? On how to deal with this. It’s devastatingly worrying.

also to add we feel dreadful bringing her here and dragging her back.

thank you so much

Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 3:39 am.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 3:40 am
  #2  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Gozit's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2013
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,911
Gozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond reputeGozit has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Does your daughter have Canadian citizenship that would allow her to return any time if she feels like it in the future, or would returning to the UK close the door on Canada for her and force her to remain somewhere she may not see as home anymore? Maybe a compromise would be to stay until the family (or just your daughter) can get citizenship.

Getting a loan for 4k and working at wal-mart is not a solid plan, but if your daughter has plans to consider post secondary education she can definitely survive if she takes student loans and whatever government assistance you guys have for education (Ontario has OSAP.) There are a lot of 18 year olds who live on their own without their parents.

Rent, food, and a basic cell phone plan are doable on min. wage. Won't be a nice life but its doable. Not everyone needs a car. If that is what she wants to do what is the harm in letting her try, and worst case if it fails she can join you in UK.

Since you guys have been in Canada for 6 years your daughter will not qualify for local tuition fees in the UK if she wants to do postsecondary. Are you prepared to help her pay for international tuition fees, given you are the ones making her move back to UK?

I would start not by trying to force her to come back with you, but trying to work out a more reasonable plan for her to stay in Canada that includes skilled work and/or post-secondary education.
Gozit is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 4:25 am
  #3  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Hi thanks for getting back , no citizenship. yes, we do have savings to pay her tuition fees in the uk, the international fees are quite reasonable as it north of England. Oh my I have to process this. We are holding off forcing the issue but every time we bring it up she cries. I’ve heard citizenship is taking years at the moment, that’s something we need to look into to see. We her parents can’t see a future here but really don’t want to leave her in another country. I’d miss her terribly and worry a lot. I suppose if we renounced our PR status that wouldn’t include our daughters as she’s 18? That was one desperate option that crossed my mind but I know that’s terribly unfair. Oh what a mess.

your right maybe I should let her try

Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 4:34 am.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 5:02 am
  #4  
Banned
 
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 19,879
Siouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

What is it about where you are currently living that isn't working for you? Could moving to a different Province make a difference, perhaps?

I would strongly suggest that you all obtain your Citizenship before leaving.. it takes around a year/18 months. Having citizenship will allow any of you to return at any time, for any reason - even if in 10 years your daughter decided to move to Canada permanently and got married and had children, you could visit or move back anytime you wanted to!

I wouldn't renounce your PR even if you don't apply for Citizenship - it will lapse naturally if you don't reside in Canada for the required amount of time, we have seen members renounce and then realise that they want to live in Canada after all - and have then not had a route to do so. Renouncing your PR status will not affect your daughters status as she is 18.

If you have your Citizenship you could perhaps persuade her to go back to the UK for University with the understanding that she can return to Canada when she has completed her degree - with your blessing and perhaps some financial support. .

Have you tried sitting down and working out a budget of what it will cost her to live on her own.. down to the last cent? (don't forget the interest payments on a loan, bank charges etc.,) I did this with my son many years ago when his friend asked him to get a flat with him. I did research, priced everything out - rent / utilities / tv / phone / internet / household essentials / transport / etc., - and then how much income he would have needed to cover that - and his potential earnings. Then I sat down with him and showed him that he would have £2.75p a week left for food and zero money for a social life after he had paid the basic essentials. I told him that he would not be allowed to come home to do laundry / borrow food / borrow money / use the phone etc., etc., - and he would only have a meal at home when invited (harsh, I know). He quickly changed his mind about moving out! He did move out eventually but not until a couple of years later when he could support himself!

Leaving her here to live off minimum wage and no family support to fall back on will be a pretty miserable life which she will no doubt tire of fairly quickly! Now there's a thought - what if you suggested to her that she get that job NOW and finds a batchelor apartment to live in - and to try it for 6 months - no financial support from you what so ever... and see how she gets on. Chances are she won't enjoy it once the novelty has worn off and she will realise how cushy she had it living at home. You could perhaps say to her that if she can show you that she can live on a budget and a low income and be responsible that you will consider her request to remain in Canada.

Last edited by Siouxie; Jan 18th 2021 at 5:06 am.
Siouxie is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 5:31 am
  #5  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by Siouxie View Post
What is it about where you are currently living that isn't working for you? Could moving to a different Province make a difference, perhaps?

I would strongly suggest that you all obtain your Citizenship before leaving.. it takes around a year/18 months. Having citizenship will allow any of you to return at any time, for any reason - even if in 10 years your daughter decided to move to Canada permanently and got married and had children, you could visit or move back anytime you wanted to!

I wouldn't renounce your PR even if you don't apply for Citizenship - it will lapse naturally if you don't reside in Canada for the required amount of time, we have seen members renounce and then realise that they want to live in Canada after all - and have then not had a route to do so. Renouncing your PR status will not affect your daughters status as she is 18.

If you have your Citizenship you could perhaps persuade her to go back to the UK for University with the understanding that she can return to Canada when she has completed her degree - with your blessing and perhaps some financial support. .

Have you tried sitting down and working out a budget of what it will cost her to live on her own.. down to the last cent? (don't forget the interest payments on a loan, bank charges etc.,) I did this with my son many years ago when his friend asked him to get a flat with him. I did research, priced everything out - rent / utilities / tv / phone / internet / household essentials / transport / etc., - and then how much income he would have needed to cover that - and his potential earnings. Then I sat down with him and showed him that he would have £2.75p a week left for food and zero money for a social life after he had paid the basic essentials. I told him that he would not be allowed to come home to do laundry / borrow food / borrow money / use the phone etc., etc., - and he would only have a meal at home when invited (harsh, I know). He quickly changed his mind about moving out! He did move out eventually but not until a couple of years later when he could support himself!

Leaving her here to live off minimum wage and no family support to fall back on will be a pretty miserable life which she will no doubt tire of fairly quickly! Now there's a thought - what if you suggested to her that she get that job NOW and finds a batchelor apartment to live in - and to try it for 6 months - no financial support from you what so ever... and see how she gets on. Chances are she won't enjoy it once the novelty has worn off and she will realise how cushy she had it living at home. You could perhaps say to her that if she can show you that she can live on a budget and a low income and be responsible that you will consider her request to remain in Canada.
yes that some really good points you raised, been reading lots on here about ping ponging and it has been at the back of my mind almost every day, but the way we feel at the moment is that Calgary is dull and it’s not ‘home’ and we miss the vibrancy/food/ the connection I feel in conversation with Brits, like the ability to get responses that are deep, introspective, (hard to explain but will do more deeply in my moving back home post). We appreciate it more after being away from UK, terribly homesick. We also want to invest in property buy to let’s but can’t do it as expats. We want to secure a decent enough retirement plan with perhaps 1/2 houses.

that’s a really a good idea. Re trying on her own. We’ve gone through the budget and how she couldn’t feasibly cover all bills etc on minimum wage job but she’s adamant, “oh but I will do this, oh but I will do that!’ It’s impossible to get her to reason. She can’t even get a job, she’s been saying she’ll get a job for a year but hasn’t managed to. Oh it really is a ridiculous situation, she’s not being logical. I know she’s devastated at moving away from her friends. But what will it come to , us selling everything and booking the flights and her refusing to get on the plane with no where to go!

maybe I should work with your idea, it’s actually a cracking one I’ve just realized...Help her find a job..get a room/‘flat’ -like really she won’t even have the deposit, maybe then the penny will drop for her

great advice thankyou!

more ideas all welcome too if any 🙏


Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 5:49 am.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 2:32 pm
  #6  
Oscar nominated
 
BristolUK's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 41,039
BristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

What would be the plan for her in the UK? What about in a couple of years?

I'm unusual when it comes to levels of income in Canada. I've always been at the lower end and managed, not without difficulty of course.

But it always "gets" me when people - probably because they're used to more in well paid, in demand jobs - are a bit down on certain income levels when many, perhaps most ordinary Canadians do exactly that.

Do all Walmart workers struggle to get by? No doubt some do depending where they live.

I've just been googling and more than 10% of Canadians are on minimum wage. Add in 'just above minimum wage' and that sounds like an awful lot of Canadians.

Now I'm not suggesting it should be a lifestyle to aim for, I'm just wondering what the alternative would be, in this case back in the UK. It sounds like she'd be better off with your support there but what if she wants her independence there? How would that compare with Canada? Is a job higher than minimum wage more likely in the UK? Aren't debt saddled graduates finding it hard to get better paying jobs?

I remember doing calculations a few years ago, comparing minimum wage recipients and average rents for those in the UK compared to my province. I found that with the low cost of housing here (relatively!) that NB minimum wagers had far more left from net pay after paying rent than UK minimum wagers would have after paying their UK rent.

Of course that depends where one is living within both countries - I compared my city here to Bristol.

But while googling to get some idea of minimum wage lifestyles in Canada I came across this - Montreal joins Calgary in the rare league of Canadian cities where people earning minimum wage can actually afford to live there. While they do have one of the lower minimum wages on this list at only $12, they also have one of the lowest costs of living in all of Canada.

Note that I am not recommending this, just that it may not be all bad and could be better than the UK unless Uni and employment worked out well..

The other suggestions of getting her to try it, while waiting for citizenship seem spot on.
BristolUK is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 4:47 pm
  #7  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 723
OrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

I think it's largely age related. If I was 18 I certainly didn't want to go back to the UK from Alberta. However I've also had the odd feeling that Canada is not a place for older people to enjoy, especially if they had grown up in Europe and are used to some kind of culture and history. And then there is the long and cold winter in Alberta, also something older folks mostly find boring. For any 18 year old the UK can be a dreary and boring place, at least these were my feelings to the UK when I was 18. Things did change once I was in my 30ies as I grew more interested in history and the UK has lot's more to offer on that.

The rest as been said and can only be repeated: Don't leave Canada without citizenship, even if it takes another year and a half to process. It gives all of you a choice to return. Even in the case when the pandemic is over, it's not certain under what circumstances and conditions the government, or any government, would allow you to return. Only citizens can come and go.
OrangeMango is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 5:14 pm
  #8  
Pea Brain
 
R I C H's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: TBD
Posts: 6,005
R I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond reputeR I C H has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

I left home for Australia when I was 18, and returned to the UK for higher education at a later date. Should you hold young adults back or let them make their own way in life?
R I C H is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 5:40 pm
  #9  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
What would be the plan for her in the UK? What about in a couple of years?

I'm unusual when it comes to levels of income in Canada. I've always been at the lower end and managed, not without difficulty of course.

But it always "gets" me when people - probably because they're used to more in well paid, in demand jobs - are a bit down on certain income levels when many, perhaps most ordinary Canadians do exactly that.

Do all Walmart workers struggle to get by? No doubt some do depending where they live.

I've just been googling and more than 10% of Canadians are on minimum wage. Add in 'just above minimum wage' and that sounds like an awful lot of Canadians.

Now I'm not suggesting it should be a lifestyle to aim for, I'm just wondering what the alternative would be, in this case back in the UK. It sounds like she'd be better off with your support there but what if she wants her independence there? How would that compare with Canada? Is a job higher than minimum wage more likely in the UK? Aren't debt saddled graduates finding it hard to get better paying jobs?

I remember doing calculations a few years ago, comparing minimum wage recipients and average rents for those in the UK compared to my province. I found that with the low cost of housing here (relatively!) that NB minimum wagers had far more left from net pay after paying rent than UK minimum wagers would have after paying their UK rent.

Of course that depends where one is living within both countries - I compared my city here to Bristol.

But while googling to get some idea of minimum wage lifestyles in Canada I came across this - Montreal joins Calgary in the rare league of Canadian cities where people earning minimum wage can actually afford to live there. While they do have one of the lower minimum wages on this list at only $12, they also have one of the lowest costs of living in all of Canada.

Note that I am not recommending this, just that it may not be all bad and could be better than the UK unless Uni and employment worked out well..

The other suggestions of getting her to try it, while waiting for citizenship seem spot on.

Hi Bristol, I totally agree. Money really does for further here, when we were living in London and I was working; not minimum wage-but pretty close at 10gbp per hour and husband was in gov. job and got a 'reasonable' salary 2400gbp per month after taxes. (I call it reasonable but salaries could blimming well do with an increase in the UK) even with our combined salary it was a struggle every month. The rent/mortage in the UK can easily take over half of one persons income (London). We have found money goes further here. Much further. Rent doesn't take anywhere near half of one persons average salary here, and you can get a very nice decent spacious house with garage, 2 bathrooms.

So yes your right, comparing how she will fair in UK compared to Canada, she would do better in Canada, for sure. We have.

We are wanting to move to Cheltenham (40 minutes from Bristol, we don't want to go back to London) and the international university fees in Cheltenham are actually quite reasonable, so she wouldn't be in debt after her studies we can help, we have savings. I just want her to come home with us. We will be financially ok in the UK, we are looking to buy a few buy to lets to supplement our incomes, so we will be willing and able to support her financially then. I will have v sizeable inheritance eventually. I know that's beside the point and she will have to be independent on her own, but we can support her through to our retirement and past that.

I just feel she will struggle to look after herself on her own here, her bedroom is knee high in discarded clothes that are not on the hanger and plates with food from a week ago for Christs sake! I've given up tidying up after her.

I'm just going to let her try and get a job and see how far she gets with it all. I know for one, she's embarrassed to even go into Shoppers or Walmart; ' incase she might see someone she knows from high school'!?

Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 6:23 pm.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 6:02 pm
  #10  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by OrangeMango View Post
I think it's largely age related. If I was 18 I certainly didn't want to go back to the UK from Alberta. However I've also had the odd feeling that Canada is not a place for older people to enjoy, especially if they had grown up in Europe and are used to some kind of culture and history. And then there is the long and cold winter in Alberta, also something older folks mostly find boring. For any 18 year old the UK can be a dreary and boring place, at least these were my feelings to the UK when I was 18. Things did change once I was in my 30ies as I grew more interested in history and the UK has lot's more to offer on that.

The rest as been said and can only be repeated: Don't leave Canada without citizenship, even if it takes another year and a half to process. It gives all of you a choice to return. Even in the case when the pandemic is over, it's not certain under what circumstances and conditions the government, or any government, would allow you to return. Only citizens can come and go.
Yes the cold winter, I've fallen over so many times, and it blimming hurts. Also the driving, the exits ramps are lethal when the snow shellacs to the road, and sometimes there's not a barrier to prevent veering off to a 10 storey drop, major worry for me for my daughter who is a bit generous with acceleration at times.

I do miss the culture and history, and being a few hours away from the coast. I used to think driving an hour was too much effort when in London to get to Canterbury, we drive 3 hours here to go see friends! Canada is vast. The grocery stores and roads here are massive, when I went back to the UK last year I was shocked at how small Sainsbury's felt, and the motorway looked tiny compared to Macleod Trail (three/four lanes each side) which is only down the road from me, and a main thoroughfare- like a UK main road.

We are totally not excited about coming back to the UK's grey and wet dreary days, the traffic, the sensationalist newspapers/TV. I will miss the feeling of quiet/harmony here in Canada, the laid back attitude, the quiet government.

I have been on Tik Tok recently. It's an app where you can watch one person going live with another person they don't know and having conversations (like a video chat but broadcast throughout the world and people can comment), quite entertaining; but it really shocks me how those in the UK always resort to fights, arguments and downright insulting each other and so many brits drinking/smoking weed etc on screen. The Canadians, seem to know how to act with decorum, they show there art projects, their pets, recipes etc. They respect the rules and act civil.

Also what I love about here is that, the kids are so polite. I have a very small little dog, and whenever I take him for a walk, the children and teens here always say something nice, 'oh what and adorable dog/ oh how cute/ did you see that dog, it's so cute!' ( I mean he is, he's a 2lb teacup chihuahua lol) but in the UK London, I always got, 'is that a rat!!? URGH!' or walking in a park with him boys would. try to kick a football at him.

Hence we are definitely not moving back to the London, I think people are generally more stressed there and we have a better shot at having it easier in the North of England. My daughter has infact said she finds it 'easier' here. Yes giving citizenship very good thought. However at this time we are feeling the ‘can’t wait to get home’ stage.

Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 6:40 pm.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 6:52 pm
  #11  
Oscar nominated
 
BristolUK's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Location: Moncton, NB, CANADA
Posts: 41,039
BristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond reputeBristolUK has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Glad you took my comments in the spirit intended
Originally Posted by kate8kate0 View Post
I just feel she will struggle to look after herself on her own here, her bedroom is knee high in discarded clothes that are not on the hanger and plates with food from a week ago for Christs sake! I've given up tidying up after her.
Are you sure she hasn't done a body swap with a guy?
I'm just going to let her try and get a job and see how far she gets with it all. I know for one, she's embarrassed to even go into Shoppers or Walmart; ' incase she might see someone she knows from high school'!?
That's just a little inconsistent with the idea of getting a job there.
BristolUK is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 6:57 pm
  #12  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 723
OrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond reputeOrangeMango has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by kate8kate0 View Post
Yes the cold winter, I've fallen over so many times, and it blimming hurts. Also the driving, the exits ramps are lethal when the snow shellacs to the road, and sometimes there's not a barrier to prevent veering off to a 10 storey drop, major worry for me for my daughter who is a bit generous with acceleration at times.

I do miss the culture and history, and being a few hours away from the coast. I used to think driving an hour was too much effort when in London to get to Canterbury, we drive 3 hours here to go see friends! Canada is vast. The grocery stores and roads here are massive, when I went back to the UK last year I was shocked at how small Sainsbury's felt, and the motorway looked tiny compared to Macleod Trail (three/four lanes each side) which is only down the road from me, and a main thoroughfare- like a UK main road.

We are totally not excited about coming back to the UK's grey and wet dreary days, the traffic, the sensationalist newspapers/TV. I will miss the feeling of quiet/harmony here in Canada, the laid back attitude, the quiet government.

I have been on Tik Tok recently. It's an app where you can watch one person going live with another person they don't know and having conversations (like a video chat but broadcast throughout the world and people can comment), quite entertaining; but it really shocks me how those in the UK always resort to fights, arguments and downright insulting each other and so many brits drinking/smoking weed etc on screen. The Canadians, seem to know how to act with decorum, they show there art projects, their pets, recipes etc. They respect the rules and act civil.

Also what I love about here is that, the kids are so polite. I have a very small little dog, and whenever I take him for a walk, the children and teens here always say something nice, 'oh what and adorable dog/ oh how cute/ did you see that dog, it's so cute!' ( I mean he is, he's a 2lb teacup chihuahua lol) but in the UK London, I always got, 'is that a rat!!? URGH!' or walking in a park with him boys would. try to kick a football at him.

Hence we are definitely not moving back to the London, I think people are generally more stressed there and we have a better shot at having it easier in the North of England. My daughter has infact said she finds it 'easier' here. Yes giving citizenship very good thought. However at this time we are feeling the ‘can’t wait to get home’ stage.
As far as I know you have at least the right to be absent from Canada for some time, and not lose your PR status. I think the current situation is that it's more liberal than it was under the Harper years, but not certain. It may even be one year every 5 or 6 years or so?. It doesn't concern me as much as I am a citizen now.

I think people are less tolerant in Europe, and due to the fact that everyone lives closer to each other, there is more the sentiment that one is always in somebody else's space. Thus the arguments tend to be harsher, plus there is the cultural thing. Many European countries have a long history and a long standing culture and don't like to see this eroded, and want it preserved. Thus they all have reservations towards newcomers, strangers and foreigners who might want to change that, or not share their values.

Public schools in the UK are not really that good, neither in quality nor in value. I don't think kids learn an awful lot in there, other than passing multiple choice tests and putting on a shabby looking uniform adults wouldn't even wear in an office setting. Joining the army, navy or air force in the UK get's one a nicer uniform.... And yes, kids at school in the UK are very misbehaved. I've seen that often and many times in the UK.

Regarding the media, the newspapers, you don't have to read everything. In the UK the papers cater for a very wide audience and social sphere, far bigger in scope than in Canada. What's really better in the UK in my mind is the news coverage of the BBC and ITV as well. Plus there is Freeview with a wide variety of channels, all terrestrial, and DAB+ Radio, something unheard of in Canada. ( there is only subscription sirius XM)

There are ups and downs. Alberta is also different to Ontario, especially Toronto. And then there is car insurance to consider. In the UK that tends to be low, even compared to Alberta. And within Canada Alberta seems to have the lowest car insurance premiums as far as I know.

You might find the big Tescos similar to the supermarkets in Alberta, but the choice might be limited due to supply issues at the border, mainly caused by Brexit.

Last edited by OrangeMango; Jan 18th 2021 at 7:14 pm.
OrangeMango is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 7:49 pm
  #13  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
Glad you took my comments in the spirit intended

Are you sure she hasn't done a body swap with a guy?

That's just a little inconsistent with the idea of getting a job there.
I know its true, my lovely neighbour he's my age 43. and his house looks like my daughters bedroom! ha!

Right!!? I don't know how on earth she's going to execute this, but I'm really nervous she will!


Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 7:53 pm.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 8:26 pm
  #14  
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
 
kate8kate0's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Calgary
Posts: 321
kate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond reputekate8kate0 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by OrangeMango View Post
As far as I know you have at least the right to be absent from Canada for some time, and not lose your PR status. I think the current situation is that it's more liberal than it was under the Harper years, but not certain. It may even be one year every 5 or 6 years or so?. It doesn't concern me as much as I am a citizen now.

I think people are less tolerant in Europe, and due to the fact that everyone lives closer to each other, there is more the sentiment that one is always in somebody else's space. Thus the arguments tend to be harsher, plus there is the cultural thing. Many European countries have a long history and a long standing culture and don't like to see this eroded, and want it preserved. Thus they all have reservations towards newcomers, strangers and foreigners who might want to change that, or not share their values.

Public schools in the UK are not really that good, neither in quality nor in value. I don't think kids learn an awful lot in there, other than passing multiple choice tests and putting on a shabby looking uniform adults wouldn't even wear in an office setting. Joining the army, navy or air force in the UK get's one a nicer uniform.... And yes, kids at school in the UK are very misbehaved. I've seen that often and many times in the UK.

Regarding the media, the newspapers, you don't have to read everything. In the UK the papers cater for a very wide audience and social sphere, far bigger in scope than in Canada. What's really better in the UK in my mind is the news coverage of the BBC and ITV as well. Plus there is Freeview with a wide variety of channels, all terrestrial, and DAB+ Radio, something unheard of in Canada. ( there is only subscription sirius XM)

There are ups and downs. Alberta is also different to Ontario, especially Toronto. And then there is car insurance to consider. In the UK that tends to be low, even compared to Alberta. And within Canada Alberta seems to have the lowest car insurance premiums as far as I know.

You might find the big Tescos similar to the supermarkets in Alberta, but the choice might be limited due to supply issues at the border, mainly caused by Brexit.
Yes, it's 2 years I believe before PR status is lost.

I agree, definitely less tolerant/kids very misbehaved. I too think its the lack of space, feeling of too close proximity to other people, the small houses, front rooms looking out to the street, (where as I've observed here in Canada the front rooms always tend to look out to the back garden.)

My sister was in some queue somewhere recently in London, Sainsbury's or something, and she misinterpreted the end of the line and went in the middle. Well, she got a whole load of F/U's and "bloody cheek"! before she even realized her mistake!, she was most embarrassed. Like,..Calm down people. There's a lot of tension.

It is a cultural thing too in the UK for sure. I don't miss that aspect, one bit. I do blame the media for ramping it up a bit, especially Piers Morgan, he's good, but could set an example. I am absolutely going to be selective with what channels playing in the house.

I'll be looking forward to having all the lovely foods back in the UK; lovely cheddar cheese, greens that don't taste watery, bread that's not too salty, I could do a whole list, (i'll do that another post). I do actually remember a Tesco being huge, I forgot about that, but I think in Canada, you have to go to these huge places to pick up a few bits, whereas in UK you have the corner shops and you can walk to them.

Yes Brexit, ugh! I've heard annual leave may be cut from 4 weeks to 2.

Last edited by kate8kate0; Jan 18th 2021 at 8:35 pm.
kate8kate0 is offline  
Old Jan 18th 2021, 8:41 pm
  #15  
Banned
 
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 19,879
Siouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Reading through your various responses I'm not so sure you are really missing the UK per se - perhaps more that you are unhappy with where you are currently living... 'grass is greener syndrome!"

Before you give it all up, why not try a different Province - move near the Great Lakes or by the Ocean.. somewhere there is some history / culture etc. You could buy some properties in cottage country or out east (or anywhere rural) and rent them as holiday lets or annual rentals for income on retirement. We're a big country - don't be put off by the one City you have landed up in.

What draws you to the UK exactly, if you take off the rose coloured glasses? There are good (UK) cheddar cheeses available at many of the cheese stores (and even supermarkets) and markets here - there are breads that aren't salty / sweet (usually the artisan ones - but even some generic brands aren't too bad) - as for greens - grow your own! There are corner shops types of stores that you can walk to in many of the smaller towns; you have been impacted by the place you live but there's plenty of other options that might suit you better without reverting to leaving and going back to the UK!

Last edited by Siouxie; Jan 18th 2021 at 8:48 pm.
Siouxie is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.