jack bauer

Hi all

been in Toronto for 3 years now and i have now made the fateful decision to head back to the UK.

I have not enjoyed TO at all... torontonians too cliquey, very cold and not friendly at all. Colleagues at work who are torontonians by the way..agree! they tell me that people from Montreal are much more friendlier.

Just got back from the UK and I have never missed it more!....

thoughts anyone?

Shard

It happens. I found Vancouverites incredibly smug (the cradles, at least). I would think that Montreal is even more clique than Toronto.

Greenhill

Is there anywhere else in Canada you fancy trying before you leave?

Mikeypm

As per Greenhill's advices have you considered elsewhere in Canada?, you have given it three years and so is it not worth giving it another shot elsewhere in Canada. That way you can say I gave several areas of Canada a try and its not just Toronto its the whole of Canada that I am not keen on.

Just my 2 cents

Shard

Not sure if you "have" to give somewhere else a try if you like/miss your original country. Some people are undecided about going back, or dislike much of Blighty, but for those who really like Blighty, going back is also a reasonable alternative.

The only caveat is that Britain is currently in a huge financial mess, Canada isn't, so waiting it out in another town might also be an option.

jack bauer

thanks all.... yeah I did consider the financial situation of the UK but I still want to risk it and head back... it has got a point where I literally dont want to be in the city anymore... people here are just too smug for their own good...I know we have our problems (UK) but I never thought that TO would be such an insufferably arrogant place! Anyway miss Gary Lineker and the boys on a saturday night...

cheeky_monkey

i watch Gary and the boys Saturday afternoon instead

Buttons-Galore

As an English/South African who just moved to Montreal a couple of months ago I can speak from first hand experience that everyone I have met in Montreal has been incredibly warm and welcoming. The only problem we have had is socialising too much! We had invitations to spend Christmas eve and day, and NYE with various friends and we haven't felt lonely once. My OH is mainly French with an Irish/Scottish/Lebanese mix as well (yes very international!), so we have a wide variety of friends on both sides of the language barrier. We are a fairly well traveled couple having lived all over the world and we like to invite people over to our house for dinners and parties, because not only do we enjoy it but we find it helps to expand our social circle. And so I think it doesn't matter where you live, because if you are friendly and smile, people can't help but respond in kind

Former Lancastrian

Are you a PR of Canada?
If so you could always go back to the UK for just under 3 years and see how it pans out without losing your status.
Depending on your job and if you have family how easy will it be to find a job once getting back to the UK and the costs involved.

Shard

That's good to hear. I suppose much depends on social circumstances at the time, and also language skills. I found the Quebecois fairly cliquey when I was there.

jack bauer

Hi Yes

I am a permanent resident... been here for 3 years.. will head back to UK but will try to renew PR card when I am able to.

I understand what you're saying and smile and the world will smile back at you... but sometimes you have to face facts that it is what it is.... even Canadians hate Toronto (from what I have heard) blogs all over the internet dedicated to this topic... so I am not imagining the cold nature of the place.....

bats

So you are sasying the OP doesn't smile enough and it's all his own faukt as he isn't as friendly and smiley as you must be as you have so many friends? FFS.

bats

We live 2 hours east of TO and have made some friends here, mostly people from Toronto who tell us that the locals are unfriendly, superficial and uneducated. So maybe changing areas would not work for you.

MarylandNed

Well I think an honest assessment is a good idea first.

The first thing I would say is that you can't tar all people with the same brush. Not all Torontonians are "too cliquey, very cold and not friendly at all". In fact, in my experience, this is not true of the vast majority - although there are (for want of a better word) "tools" everywhere. So sweeping generalizations are dangerous. It's even hard to know what a "Torontonian" actually is. The city is so diverse and multicultural that it makes generalizations even more difficult. So I would try to assess what type of social circles you are moving in to meet all these "tools". Maybe you can make a concerted effort to meet different people and widen your circle of friends?

The other part of an honest assessment is self assessment. This is much more difficult - it's easier to make judgements and criticize others than it is to do the same to yourself. Is there anything you can see in your own behaviour or attitude that could be changed/improved? This in turn might give you a different perspective on your world.

I lived in Toronto for 7 years and still visit the city often (e.g. visiting friends, attendiing sporting events and concerts, for business as my company has an office there, etc.) My daughter goes to college not that far from Toronto so I'm often up there visiting her or shuttling her back and forth from home to college. I would move back to Toronto in a heartbeat. However, my wife has grown increasingly intolerant of cold weather as she has gotten older. She wants to move further south for warmer weather. So we're stuck in the middle for now.

We also made the fateful decision to move back to the UK. We did it for what I would call "family reasons" - not because we didn't like Toronto or Canada anymore. We lasted less than 2 years in the UK before we realized it wasn't where we wanted to live and wasn't where we wanted to raise our children. This despite many visits to the UK previously while we lived in Toronto. It definitely wasn't a mistake to move back to the UK because I think it was something that we had to get out of our system - something that ended up helping us figure out what we really wanted to do.

Anyway, good luck in whatever you decide! Life's a journey and your next move likely won't be your last.

jack bauer

absolutely true.... unfriendly and (did not want to use that word) superficial... it is extremely tiring